#naruto headcanon

If the Boruto era is a fake reality created by the infinite tsukuyomi, then who’s dream are we seeing?

There’s only one person who benefits from the situation in Boruto.

Orochimaru.

1. Who gets to roam free despite all his crimes? Orochimaru.
2. Who gets a experiment (Mitsuki) to do with as he pleases? Orochimaru.
3. Who is now seen as this “iconic” non-binary comic relief who attends parent-teacher conferences?Orochimaru.
4. Who gets his prisoners (Karin/Sui/Juugo) to go back to work for him, their abuser?Orochimaru.
5. Who would NOT want the village systems to change – no reforms, reparations, or justice? Who would be delighted to see the Hokage accomplish nothing, except for technological advancements? Orochimaru.
6. Who hates Kohoha and wants to see it in rubble?Orochimaru.
   
7. Who would arbitrarily make male/female pairs breed in the same year so their offspring are all the same age? Orochimaru.
8. Who would pair Naruto with Hinata for their “OP genetic baby” potential? Orochimaru.
9. Who obesses over childrens’ potential and power-levels? (= Boruto genin are ridiculously OP) Orochimaru.
10. Who has a brilliant mind for genetics and inventions like ninja tech? Oro-chi-ma-ru.
11. Who would be petty enough to give everyone the shittiest haircut? Orochimaru.
12. Who is cuckcoo enough to throw in moon space aliens villains? Orochimaru.
13. Who would want Anko to be the butt of a fat joke? Orochimaru.
    
14. Who is aware of Sasuke’s special feelings for Naruto? OROCHIMARU!
15. Who has a grudge against Sasuke and would reduce him into a deadbeat father trapped in a loveless marriage? Orochimaru.
16. Who would make Hinata and Sakura one-dimentional side characters because he frankly doesn’t know them that well? Orochimaru.
17. Who would actually keep Sasuke in-character because he’s known him for years? Orochimaru.
    
18. Who would give Naruto a soul-crushing desk job in retaliation for getting in the way of his plans? Orochimaru.
19. Who is cruel enough to find amusement in everyone’s suffering? Orochimaru.
20. The events of Boruto couldn’t be Hinata’s dream, even though she “got what she wanted.” She’s barely present. The mother/wife trope has usurped most of her identity (clan politics, techniques, worldview, resilience). Her original goal wasn’t Naruto. He inspired her to become strong, but her goal was to become strong, for herself. Why would she let her husband neglect their family? The Hinata in Boruto is not who Hinata wants to be. The Naruto in Boruto isn’t the man Hinata loves.

In conclusion.

Madara won Boruto is all in Orochimaru’s head everything makes sense

punk-pandame:

i’m just curious who ya’ll think would be the househusband, naruto or sasuke

https://forms.gle/CHyMbndzrMnb9Spa6

Headcanon I submitted (this turned out long):

Neither in canon would be the househusband. they’re both very ambitious / purpose-driven, defined by their political involvement and shinobi identities. The need to protect, reform the world, means they’re always training to keep each other on their toes.

But SHORT-TERM, I can see them both unexpectedly taking on this role because of injury/illness/house arrest/grieving and enjoying it.

Naruto because he likes plants and kids, and would be into remodeling and decorating the house - and would experiment with cooking for Sasuke because he likes to please. But eventually he’ll get restless, all that energy in isolation plus the sting of older neighbors still keeping their distance, unless he forms a neighborhood collective and babysits all the kids and plans activities as a community leader. He’s not patient enough to wait for Sasuke to get home.After being apart so long,he would rather seek out Sasuke or go along with him on missions.

Sasuke because he enjoys solitude, peace, gives him stability and sense of family/duty/tradition - values he cares about. He’d be efficient at food prep, make sure their house is stocked with vegetables, and excel at cleaning and running errands like the A student he is. This is refreshing and needed after years on the run, but he will eventually feel like he’s not doing enough with his life– survivor guilt puts so much responsibility on his shoulders, that only he can bear, despite entrusting some of it to Naruto.Heisn’t the type to stay in one place. He’s the typeto wander and do his own thing.