lrb i am increasingly just telling people who profess to having no internal sense of gender and never had had one and find the idea of having one kinda alienating “you’re agender.”
technically what i should be saying is “you might be agender, maybe explore that?” but there are like a billion cis people and a million trans people telling them “if you don’t care about your gender at all that means you’re cis” which it absolutely doesn’t not so i feel the need to be a counter-weight.
if you are one of those billion cis people or million trans people: please stop saying that “not caring about your gender means you’re cis.” particularly when someone says “but i’ve never really had a sense of gender.”
not having an internal sense of gender does not mean that you are cis. it has never meant that you are cis! cis people care a lot about their gender! not caring about your gender means (very likely) that you are agender.
you don’t have to do anything with that information. it doesn’t compel you to start using specific pronouns or identifying in specific ways or joining specific support groups or communities. what it means is those things are there if you need them. what it means is you’re more like us than you are like them.
