to fight or not to fight: band of brothers edition
just shitposting something from my drafts because I have no other content for you at the moment. Just to put this into perspective for you, I’ll let you know I’m a 5’2” 110 lb teenage girl. And yes, I will be fighting several of these men. I don’t care how attractive they are.
Dick Winters: I would not want to fight him. Like, at all. He’s a dad. But if I had to fight him, he would lay my ass out. Would definitely sicko god mode curb stomp you and then ask you “Are you okay, son? What’s going on? You can always talk to your dear old dad.”
Lewis Nixon: Oh, I would absolutely fight him solely for the fact that I’d fucking WIN. He would probably be drunk, and he’s not much of a fighter anyways. We would look back on it and laugh.
Carwood Lipton: ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? That would be like punching my mom. Besides, we know that Momma Lip will give you an ass-whooping if necessary, he’s got kids.
Ron Speirs: ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY N OT. He would practically smell me getting ready for a fight, and I would lose the little dignity I have left when he knocks me out with one punch. He is scary, I would not fight in a million years. I would forfeit.
Captain Sobel: BITCH IT IS ON SIGHT AND I COULD PROBABLY BEAT HIM TF UP-
Harry Welsh: No, I wouldn’t fight him, but it would be funny if I tried. Actually, now that I think about it, I would win, but I wouldn’t have the heart to fight him in the first place.
Buck Compton: Absolutely not. He would punch me so hard without mercy. I would die.
Norman Dike: ABSOLUTELY, AND I WOULDN’T EVEN NEED TO PUNCH HIM MORE THAN ONCE-
Joe Liebgott: YOU KNOW THAT WHEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER AND I LOCK EYES IT’S ON SIGHT. Not that Joe and I would hate each other, we would just have that relationship were sometimes we just gotta deck the fuck out of the other person’s halls. Would fight 100%, and I actually might win because we are both skinny legends.
David Webster: I’d fight him because I’d win and it would be easy. If he thinks Shakespeare is good, we are automatically fighting. END OF STORY.
Don Malarkey: I’d never fight him, I love him too much. I’d be messing up a wonderful human being. Also, I would lose, and he wouldn’t even intentionally be trying to win.
Floyd Talbert: I could definitely have a fair fight against this man, but I wouldn’t fight him solely on the grounds that I fear he would get an adrenaline boner.
Chuck Grant: I- No. Absolutely not. He would definitely win.
Bill Guarnere: I would try to fight him for no reason and lose miserably. RIP me.
Johnny Martin: Absolutely not. Could literally incinerate me with one look. I’d be dead before the fight even started. Could roast my ass afterwards. Also, he’s got Bull on his side. No thank you, I will be minding my goddamn business.
Shifty Powers: I would never want to fight him in the first place. I would also lose. He also, like Malarkey, wouldn’t even be trying to win. I feel like he would apologize for the rest of his life if I so much as got a bruise from it. So, no.
Joe Toye: I would do it for shits and giggles and he would not be messing around. I would lose 100%. He does not think it was funny. I think it’s fuckin hilarious.
Skip Muck: I would fight him, and I stand a fair chance at either losing or winning. Idk guys, tell me who you think would win.
Bull Randleman: Are you kidding me. The man is like half a body taller than me. I would rather just die. Also, he could just like pick me up by the back of the neck and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it??? I would not fight, and if I had to, I would lose.
Skinny Sisk: I wouldn’t wanna fight him, but I could definitely win.
George Luz: I would fight a hoe. Solely for the fact that it would be funny. Still don’t know if I would win or lose.
Frank Perconte: Would fight this little gremlin. Could probably win.
Eugene Roe: I wouldn’t fight him because JESUS DOES HE NEED ANYMORE TRAUMA??? Also, he could beat me up in like 2 minutes. He’s a friggin medic he can literally carry wounded soldiers.
Babe Heffron: No, who the hell would fight an infant. Also, he could probably beat me up. He’s got Guarnere,Toye, Roe, and all of Easy Co hey, that rhymes. I’m not taking that chance.
Alex Penkala: Yeah, I would fight him, but for fun. I would win. Don’t even ask me how I know, I just do.
Albert Blithe: What, are we trying to give the poor man MORE PTSD???? Absolutely not. I would win if I had to, though.
Roy Cobb: I WOULD MILLY ROCK THIS BITCH INTO THE NEXT MILLENIA WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.
Alton More: Homeboi had the balls to talk back to Speirs. I don’t wanna find out what type of punch he packs. I’m good.
Pat Christenson: I don’t care that the man has limbs like Slenderman, we are fighting, and it is on sight. Little gossip bitch boy. I would so win.
Antonio Garcia: No, I wouldn’t fight him cause he’s baby. But I could probably win.
hahahaha this made me snort in the sitting room, my dad’s got his concerned face on again.
