Today I’m having a lot of feelings about. ok. Aziraphale knew there was a demon causing a big ruckus in the Garden. and the very FIRST thing he does is. give his only means of self defense away!!! like
all he knows about demons at that point is what Heaven has told him. and he’s quite certain they’re irredeemably Evil and possibly out to settle a score from the War. and he. he’s not just being nice to the humans. he’s potentially risking his own life for them. he just. does that. immediately
and then said demon waltzes up to him and starts blabbering on about the moon and acting precious about getting damp idkgjfg
like i imagine if Crowley hadn’t shut him up his next words to Anathema would have been like. ‘’…and technically I was supposed to plunge a flaming sword into his head. but well, anyway. he was yammering some nonsense about meta-ethics and the moon and he hates it when his toes get wet, it’s adorable. we’re married now.’’ they’re so absurd
Select additional comments:
@tabbystardustreply: And also when the demon asks about his sword he just tells him he gave it away instead of lying like he LIED TO GOD what a disaster angel gotta love him
@ileolaireply: lmao right and like. no wonder crowley immediately splashed his pants over it. first day on the job and this angel is off his chain. he’s fucking mental. he lets humans raid the no-no tree and gives them free weapons for their trouble. immediately blurts out what he did to the Enemy but lies to the boss’s face about it. That’s more Nonsense than Crowley managed to cause in five minutes and causing Nonsense is his job
I was thinking about the Mesopotamia scene, in particular when one of the Unicorns decides to leg it;
Nope, this isn’t about how no one listens to Crowley, or how (adorably) Crowley hasn’t the foggiest about mammalian reproduction (and, I mean, I know I said ‘meta’ but I’m not sure this post even qualifies as a meta tbh).
Everyone and their Granny knows David Tennant is Scottish.
Something that everyone and their Granny might not know is that the national animal of Scotland is the Unicorn.
Let’s estimate how heavy is the rock that Aziraphale is lifting in the garden of eden’ scene. Based on the footage we have, I will approximate its shape to a trapezoidal base prism (more specifically, its base is a trapezoid rectangle).
To discover the base measurements, I will use this scene (because is the one where he is closer to the stone, minimizing camera effects) and Mr. Sheen height (1,78m) to do some pixel measurements.
Some math later and using the fact that two edges of the rock accompanies the junction of the larger stones I managed to get the height and smaller base of the rock, but I still needed the other side and the bigger base.
Forthis, I measured the angle shown. With these informations and trigonometry, I concluded these are the base’s measurements. Now, for its depth (this one was hard and probably the source of possible errors), we need some considerations.
Based on other scenes from the wall, we can safely say that this stone does not represent its thickness. However, we can see the inside of the wall, which is made of three to five layers of pre cut blocks.
I am assuming, now, that Aziraphale’s stone has the depth equivalent of the first outside layer that we see, since antique stone constructions don’t use mortar and the piece could fairly “break” in that spot.
Thanks to our adorable Eve, we have a scene to make some pixel measurement using her hand as reference (an average woman hand has a length of 17,27cm) and I concluded that the stone’s length is 28cm.
Using the right volume formula, the result is V=0,03087m^3.
Now, we need to estimate its density. According to some proposed locations, the garden of eden is in southern Mesopotamia (now Iraq). Based on the book “Ancient Mesopotamian Materials and Industries: The Archaeological Evidence”-Peter Roger Stuart Moorey, the primary construction stones of this region is limestone and gypsum.
The density of limestone (the most probable one) is 2711kg/m^3, which results in a weight of 83,69kg for our little angel to lift.
To sum up, Aziraphale is lifting approximately 83,69kg (184,5 pounds) without using any knee technique and without even looking discomfortable. Maybe the buff angel we see in the storyboards is not so off, after all.
Yup. While Aziraphale dropped the buffness in order to be more cuddly he kept the strength :).
storyboard:
(btw. for completely unrelated reasons I googled how much David Tennant weighs. It’s 80 kg :) - less than the rock)
Select additional comments:
(For scientific purposes - the remainder of the comments conveyed that
math skills are highly attractive,
Aziraphale being strong is highly attractive,
this fandom would like more fanfiction that features Crowley just getting picked up and carried away by the Angel in question, among other things)
@kayasurinreply: More importantly - that’s not a struggle. He’s moving normally. He’s not straining. He’s putting about the same amount of effort I do into a ten pound weight. Which means he can lift heavier stuff.
@jabberwockypie reply: This math is very impressive but I counter: Why would an embodied angel need to be buff to lift a heavy thing?
Crowley can drive a car that’s on fire because he Believes hard enough that he can.
I suggest that they just sort of take things like “how bodies work” as suggestions. He can lift it because he needs to, and because there’s no reason he feels he shouldn’t be able to. (And at certain points, angels are described as being thousands of meters tall. Presumably they’re a lot more *condensed* in a human-ish body, but why *shouldn’t* he be able to lift it? Theoretically wings that size shouldn’t allow for a human-sized being to fly, either, but they do, which suggests that there’s more to it than the simple capabilities of bones and muscles.)
After all, for all the food and wine they drink, I suspect they don’t use the bathroom either. (Would you poop or pee if you had the option to just kind of will it away into energy? ESPECIALLY if you had existed for thousands of years before the advent of indoor plumbing?)
@lynatireply: Well, book Crowley did have to get up in the middle of his decades-long nap to use the lavatory, but he may have just been too sleep muddled to remember that he didn’t *have* to.
Both the book and the show do make it clear that they aren’t limited by their physical corporations when they don’t want to be, but what is less clear is how limited they are when they aren’t actively ignores the laws of matter and physics and whatnot. Do they have physical limits that they have to be actively putting- and I know it’s a loaded phrase these days- an effort into in order to bypass, or are their bodies merely human-shaped suggestions?
Both canons mention discorporation, and how inconvenient it is, so it sounds that if they suffer massive damage to their physical selves they can’t just snap their remaining fingers and put that damage instantly to rights.
Honestly, I love the fact that we don’t have a single answer to what interpretation is “right,” because it gives us a much broader variety of narrative direction in fic whenever that question becomes a plot point.
Aziraphale getting beheaded by guillotine means his body was kaput, and he’s just stuck in heaven until he’s assigned a new one? …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale getting beheaded means he’s going to have to work quite a miracle to get his body working again, and making sure nobody notices him while he’s trying to get it done, how inconvenient; and what kind of words is heaven going to have with him over that? …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale getting beheaded means nothing as far as the physical side of his corporation is concerned because he can just re-arrange his matter around at will, BUT in his mind he’ll always KNOW that the discorporation happened, and the thought will just itch at him in the same way a stain miracle’d out of a jacket would. Oh, and his wonderful outfit would be well-past saving for the same reason; what an awful thought! …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale being able to lift that much weight because he can do whatever he wants via miracles or whatnot gives us one story; Aziraphale being able to lift that much weight because his corporation *naturally* has the ability to do that, no ignoring reality required, gives us a different set of Crowley’s kinks options to work with!
@rangeredactedreply: While I totally agree with the idea that they can do these feats because they believe they can, and reality shapes around that, first poster did some impressive math and research there! (which is so cool)
@artemis-argetlamreply: I do actually agree with the idea that things works just because they believe they will, it is their way of influencing the universe and Crowley strongly demonstrates that with driving, talking to plants, even giving personality to the bentley.
I just thought that would be cool to calculate the weight that Aziraphale is “ignoring” by simply not questioning his capacities to lift it.
