Today I’m having a lot of feelings about. ok. Aziraphale knew there was a demon causing a big ruckus in the Garden. and the very FIRST thing he does is. give his only means of self defense away!!! like
all he knows about demons at that point is what Heaven has told him. and he’s quite certain they’re irredeemably Evil and possibly out to settle a score from the War. and he. he’s not just being nice to the humans. he’s potentially risking his own life for them. he just. does that. immediately
and then said demon waltzes up to him and starts blabbering on about the moon and acting precious about getting damp idkgjfg
like i imagine if Crowley hadn’t shut him up his next words to Anathema would have been like. ‘’…and technically I was supposed to plunge a flaming sword into his head. but well, anyway. he was yammering some nonsense about meta-ethics and the moon and he hates it when his toes get wet, it’s adorable. we’re married now.’’ they’re so absurd
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@tabbystardustreply: And also when the demon asks about his sword he just tells him he gave it away instead of lying like he LIED TO GOD what a disaster angel gotta love him
@ileolaireply: lmao right and like. no wonder crowley immediately splashed his pants over it. first day on the job and this angel is off his chain. he’s fucking mental. he lets humans raid the no-no tree and gives them free weapons for their trouble. immediately blurts out what he did to the Enemy but lies to the boss’s face about it. That’s more Nonsense than Crowley managed to cause in five minutes and causing Nonsense is his job
Okay, so this fandom gets a lot of mileage out of Crowley getting comendation for things he isn’t even responsible for, and then the resulting angst when he has to go and check out ‘his’ work— but have we considered whether this ever happened to Aziraphale? After all, we see in the show that Heaven isn’t above the morally dubious, and there’s no reason why Aziraphale’s superiors wouldn’t assume he was the same.
Imagine him getting a commendation every time he’s in the wrong right area for a martyrdom, or a holy war, or— hell, why not an inquisition? Who’s to say that Heaven and Hell 100% agree on what counts as good or evil all the time?
Imagine him standing in a burning town, having just recieved a letter from Gabriel about how happy Heaven is to hear that people have been spreading Her religion to the local populace. “Good work, Aziraphale! Glad to see you’re finally acting like a proper angel and giving up all this namby-pamby peace and love nonsense! Keep it up!”
Imagine him having to witness centuries of blood and burning and bodies and not being able to talk about it to anyone— not even Crowley, because when you’re watching an atrocity and trying to persuade yourself that this is not only tolerable but somehow good, somehow right, the last person you need is the Demon of Constant Uncomfortable Questions.
(And anyway, a voice in his head that sounds a lot like Gabriel snidely reminds him, that’s probably the reason he can’t understand it. A Proper Angel™️ who didn’t waste time putting food and drink into his corporation, or playing around with books, or hanging around with demons— an angel like that would be able to make sense of this.)
Imagine later on, when the human perspective on some of these events changes, and Heaven follows suit. Aziraphale making one too many suggestions during a meeting and getting shut down with “well yeah, we would listen to you Aziraphale, but then remember that time you came up with that whole Crusades thing? That didn’t turn out so well, did it?” Imagine him brushing it off and pushing down the feelings of unfair, unfair, unfair, because Good Angels don’t question that sort of thing. Clearly he’s just made a mistake somewhere.
Imagine him post-apocalypse, finally being able to admit out loud to himself that Heaven wasn’t always right. (Imagine him finally having the courage to tell Crowley about it and getting to listen to several centuries worth of ranting about Heaven with a clear conscience— along with a side rant about “why the fuck didn’t you tell me, angel? I told you about the Inquisition!” “Yes, well… that was rather different, my dear.”)
I’m just saying, we’re really missing a trick here and… damn, now I kind of want to write this.
In that deleted scene where he’s getting ready to open the bookshop he’s given a medal for his 'devotion to Earth and duty’ but it sort of feels like an afterthought when Aziraphale expresses that he doesn’t want to go back to Heaven. As if he can be placated after being ignored for millennia with a pat on the head. (And he’s probably so starved for positive attention from Heaven that’s no doubt why we see him wear it on his vest ever after.) I’ll have to re-read though that scene with this in mind bc it is a very valid take.
After all Crowley does say ‘everyone stretches the truth in memos to head office a bit, you know that!’ And Aziraphale, angel of the Eastern Gate, lying liar who lies, mildly agrees with him without directly implicating himself of doing the same. (’Yes, but you told them..’)
P.S. Bonus -replyfrom@big-edies-sun-hat: I did the thing. I had been wanting to put up a series of ficlets (on no schedule whatsoever) about various awful ideas the two of them had throughout history. Herein, a ficlet in which Aziraphale gets an award for Prohibition.
I want to talk about how dedicated Aziraphale is to saving the world.Because despite his initial reluctance, the moment Aziraphale agrees to prevent Armageddon – that is his top priority.
One of Aziraphale’s defining characteristics is his commitment. While Crowley is notable for changing (his clothes, hair, gender, name, species) and for questioning (Heaven, Hell, the Almighty, Satan); Aziraphaleis notable for sticking with things (with angels, books, clothes, hair, ultimately Earth & a certain demon). That loyalty is why it takes him so long to turn against Heaven.
Yes, Aziraphale’s arc islearning to question* and break that blind loyalty…but his commitment and faith aren’tportrayed as inherently bad things, they’re also vital to stopping Armageddon.
(*Well it’s more admitting his questions tbh, because that rebellious angel been quietly doubting since Eden).
Once Aziraphale’s aboard the Antichrist plan, he’s not just following Crowley’s lead – he’s pushing forward of his own volition. When they discover they have the wrong boy, Aziraphale doesn’t shrug and go “we tried, back to Heaven with me” the way you’d expect an initially reluctant conscript to – he keeps trying.
He’s the one who suggests going to Warlock’s birthday party, he comes up with hospital idea, he proposes using other humans to find Adam and offers his agents. At the end of it all, he produces the winning ‘Great plan’ argument and rallies against Satan when Crowley wavers.
Caveat: “It’s the Great Plan Crowley” – his lies to Crowley and himself.
Of course, where Aziraphale seems to falter (breaking all our hearts in the process) is that goddamn bandstand scene – “There is no our side.”
But like, even when Aziraphale appears to be giving up and supporting the war….he really isn’t. While he’s loudly preaching about the great plan out front; in the back he’s tracking down Adam and appealing to Heaven to stop things. Aziraphale’s commitment doesn’t change, but he employs different tactics when he realises the original Antichrist plan has failed, and he’s scared and he pushes Crowley away.
Of course, lying to Crowley and trusting Heaven was wilfully misguided. And he realises that.
But that brings me to the biggest point –
When finally faced with Heaven or humanity Aziraphale doesn’t hesitate
Aziraphale spends so much of the series convincing himself he can save humanitywith Heaven, can stay loyal to his superiors and to earth, and histwo belief systems will line up neatly.
And it takes him so, so long – literally from the voice of God itself – to realise that’s wrong.
This post talks about moment with Metatron when Aziraphale realises Heaven (and he thinks God) doeswant the war . And fuck, it’s heartbreaking.
What’s noticeable from then on though? There’s never anydeliberation on Aziraphale’s part about supporting Heaven. There’s no “oh maybe the Almighty is right,” “maybe I should join the other angels,” “well, if everyone else agrees, maybe I’m in the wrong.” He throws aside his previous dithering and doubts.
If Heaven doesn’t agree with him on saving Earth, then that is it.
When he realises he can’t have both; it’s the world or Heaven – he goes with humanity. Without flinching. Without hesitation. Because that’s been his priority since he and Crowley shook on it eleven years ago.
Mere minutes after facing the truth, Aziraphale rejects Heaven in the most badass way possible, complete with yelling at other angels and possessing people.
There’s a great meta from@ilarual about just how ballsy Aziraphale’s rebellion against Heaven was, and about how he finally let loose all the doubts he’d been supressing for 6000 years. To quote:
Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.
In comparison to Crowley
Now obviously Crowley is also committed to saving humanity. Obviously. He came up with the original Antichrist plan, pleads with God over everything, argues with Aziraphale and drove through literal fire.
(And Crowley doesn’t hesitate either – his instant reaction to the Antichrist is pure horror and it takes him less than a car ride to be on the phone to Aziraphale and concocting his thwarting scheme).
However,from when they discover they have the wrong child, Crowley is making back-up plans. He’s ready to run away to Alpha Centuari and leave humanity to it.
Partly that’s because, unlike Aziraphale, he doesn’t have the information about Adam – but Crowley was flagging before that.
On route to Tadfield, its Aziraphale offering suggestions to find the Antichrist and Crowley blocking him. (“And then what? And then what?”). After the convent visit failed, Crowley’s basically sulking over Aziraphale’s ideas – which Aziraphale does not stand for a minute tbh. (“Do you have a better idea? A single better idea?”) And even later on its Aziraphale, not Crowley, who commits to killing Adam.
To be clear, I am in no way judging Crowley for doubting they’d succeed and planning to run. He’s not obliged to help Earth, the fact he even tried was incredibly selfless. There’s a brilliant piecefrom@theniceandaccurategoodomensblog on how much Crowley was risking to stop Armageddon and how his escape plan was justified.
Him preventing the war was always against Hell’s plans and put him in the line of fire, whereas Heaven at least pretended to support Aziraphale efforts.
Plus, Crowley was right in knowing that the two of them wereon their own and not to trust Heaven, which Aziraphale didn’t get. Crowley benefits from Aziraphale’s will & determination, while Aziraphale benefits from Crowley clear-eyed view of the world.
In the end
Ofc Aziraphale and his steadfastness and the importance of all that, culminates when Satan storms onto the scene.
Because when Crowley does falter (“we are fucked”), it’s Aziraphale’s determination that keeps them going (“We can’t give up now.”) Because, just to say it again – when Aziraphale commits to something he commits.
It’s this incredible full circle moment from Crowley persuading Aziraphale to stop the Antichrist, to Aziraphale pushing Crowley to stand against Satan. And fuck, that’s beautiful.
And now, post-series, now Aziraphale has abandoned Heaven, he’s 100% going to put his trademark commitment and dedication and devotion into his new side. His side with Crowley.
Tldr: While Crowley was the one who initially persuaded Aziraphale, from then on saving humanity was Aziraphale’s top priority: Even while he denied it, even over Heaven, even to the point of encouraging Crowley. Because Aziraphale loves and commits with everything in him – and that saved the world.
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@whispsofwindreply: A thing I really like about Crowley and Aziraphale is how complementary they are to each other.
Crowley is constantly moving. He has clever schemes and has already thought about plan B, C and D while he’s still executing plan A. He is ever changing, always trying to stay one step ahead of everything.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is steadfast. Once he finds something he likes, he sticks with it and doesn’t see the need to change. Once he starts something, he commits and finishes it. Plan A is getting done one way or another.
Without Aziraphale as a constant, Crowley would be untethered, with nothing to give him stability. Without Crowley to give him a good push, Aziraphale would stagnate, never daring to get in motion.
Together though, Crowley can push them both into action and Aziraphale can keep them on track. They work better as a unit than they do apart, and it’s amazing.
It’s unstoppable force meets immovable object, and instead of crashing and burning they both come out better for it.
Good Omens TV + (as I like to call them:) “Good Moments”
Listen, I love to hate on Aziraphale’s boss just as much as the next person, but the more that enjoyable antagonism kept returning him into my thoughts, the more I picked up that things are never just black and white in this story… so here it is, a compilation of GO-TV Gabriel’s (relatively) good moments that nobody ever asked for.
Yes, he’s a horrible boss and annoying and full of himself and wants the world to end… but. Most of what he does probably doesn’t come from a place of malice? (I know, I know, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions [and door-to-door salesmen]…) He’s juts as fallible as most of the characters, it just shows differently. But then he also has to have his good side, and moments when that can shine through. And he does:
A) He’s very generous in giving out praise? (See GIFs 1-3.) I wish most authority figures I’ve encountered would be handing out validation that generously. Anyway, a breakdown: 1. Yes, it comes off as being gullible or not paying enough attention to his field agent(s), but he does believe Aziraphale when he says he’s been doing his job without Crowley noticing him. And Gabriel looks genuinely impressed with that. He doesn’t give explicit praise here, but he does call this achievement a “miracle”, which, among angels, should count for something. 2. Come on, he actually claps when Aziraphale gives his report (about influencing the Antichrist)? And I’m pretty sure he knew the other angels would follow sort. He applauds and compliments, even though he firmly believes what Aziraphale is trying to do will eventually prove to be pointless. Not a sentence I thought I’d write, but he does seem to appreciate doing Good just for the sake of doing Good. 3. Again, with the “excellent job”s. That’s all. (Also, in the full scene, he keeps going on about the little joke that Sandalphon made, which is… kind of sweet, I guess.)
B) In the 4th GIF: yes, I know, we don’t like the full scene and Gabriel says mean things, etc. But there is one tiny moment I needed some time to appreciate… The Great War is pretty much imminent at this point. Within a day, everything on Earth will be destroyed, so whatever Aziraphale does that day (other than going to war) would be pretty much inconsequential. They’ve already met here, Azi’s reported all that he knows, so, really, there is no particular reason to keep him on Earth anymore? No reason why Gabriel couldn’t make him go back to Heaven right then, with him? He’s never seemed like he appreciates any aspect of Aziraphale’s earthly disguise beyond the strict necessities. But now that whole disguise is pointless… but still, however little they generally understand each other with this estranged underling, Gabriel seems to understand that all the inconsequential earthly things are still important to Aziraphale, and gives him time (as much as he can) to “wrap things up”. Yes, this seems like the bare minimum of humanity, but (a) they’re not human and (b) if Gabriel was nothing but the epitome of horrible bosses, he wouldn’t show even this small purposeless kindness.
C) In GIFs 5-6: after I first watched that episode, I used to privately call this “the only redeeming character moment”. Faced with incriminating evidence against Aziraphale, Gabriel says there must be an “innocent explanation”. Now, I might be the gullible one here, but it seems genuine to me. Also, we seem to love imagining Gabriel as this nigh-all-knowing, all-controlling ultimate boss, but… pardon the expression, he’s only “human”. (Not technically, but you know what I mean.) The way he replies, his expressions and his pondering really sold me on the fact that he has no idea about the existence of “back channels”. Apparently, he doesn’t know nearly as much about his co-workers as he thinks he does - which, I almost feel sorry for him, having to run Heaven that way. Expectations and negative qualities aside, he’s doing the best he can.
D) I’ll keep this as non-spoilery as I can (thank you English language for the passive voice): when the angels are getting fire-breathed at (ugh, I take it back, screw the passive voice), all of them back away in shock and horror, but… Notice what their hands/arms are doing? It’s a split-second reaction, so there isn’t really time for being calculated or pretentious. They, in some way, all reach for each other. It can be seen both as a terrified gesture of seeking comfort in their connection, and as an instinctive gesture of protection - with Sandalphon and Uriel wanting to drag Gabriel back out from the line of fire, and, in turn, Gabriel wanting to push them back into safety (while he’s possibly still a bit more in harm’s way). Whichever one it is, it doesn’t look like the act of a horrible person to me.
To conclude. This collection of course doesn’t balance out his world-ending and simply mean personality traits and actions, but I haven’t seen a compilation of “bloody Gabriel’s” non-horrible moments. And my brain couldn’t stand to leave something GO-related without adding some shades of grey. He might mostly be doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons, or, at least, nearly never the right things for the right reasons. But. You know, my history teacher used to say, there are two types of generals: the one that says “Advance!” and the one that says “Follow me!”, and it says a lot about the generals themselves which ones they are. Gabriel would definitely shout “Follow me!”, and that’s enough of a testament of a certain amount of goodness for me.
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@forineffablereasonsreply: #given that i think a big part of the Point to good omens is that there’s good and bad in everyone #and it’s the bit you choose to act on that matters most #it comes as no surprise that there’s good and bad even in these ancillary characters #it makes the story super layered and nuanced which i love
@hedonistbyheartreply: #I think there is value in seeing the good parts too yeah #and Gabriel is only as ruthlss as God herself in the end #even if i absolutely do not appreciate the fatshaming or the ‘die already’
@dukev027 reply: I think it’s important to add that some of Gabriel’s motivations and reactions comes from the fact that he firmly believes all the angels are acting exactly as angels should. He’s impressed with Aziraphale evading Crowley, because the idea of them working today doesn’t ever cross his mind. This scenario doesn’t exist for him. When Michael confronts him with the photos, Gabriel defends Aziraphale, because he can’t imagine the angel lying to him. And when Michael asks to use the back channels, Gabriel states there are no back channels, because for a proper angel there aren’t any.
Call it negligent or whatever (I wouldn’t personally), but Gabriel doesn’t comprehend that an angel would go against their nature. This is why when he finally realizes Aziraphale “betrayed” them, he gets harsher than usual, maybe even jaded, verbally lashing out at Aziraphale. The betrayal is what drives him to make an example out of Aziraphale and to connect with rather unpredicted allies (though, I would wager this is a temporary alignment). If these other angels are going to be improper, why shouldn’t he?
@rainydaydecafreply: Yes, to all of this. It did strike me, going back to rewatch Good Omens, that for all of Gabriel’s faults, he’s not purposely trying to be a jerk. He’s actually very genuine in everything he says and does. He believes in the good he’s doing, he’s very upbeat and an overall positive influence on the angels around him, and he strives to lead through enthusiastic example. He’s excited at the prospect of Armageddon, and not in a bloodthirsty way… he just doesn’t understand what could possibly be bad about billions of humans getting slaughtered. They’re just humans, after all, and humans die, it’s what they do. He’s content to follow orders, just like most of the angels. If it’s part of the Divine Plan, then it can’t possibly be wrong.
Gabriel only really shows his jerk side when the Divine Plan goes sideways and Aziraphale steps forward and makes him question what he’s doing. Makes him doubt, makes him look back and realize that he might be wrong. And that’s a very uncomfortable feeling for someone who has spent thousand of years basking in the absolute faith that he is Right In All Things. Gabriel doesn’t want to shift his world-view or open himself to the possibility that he misinterpreted God’s word. He just doesn’t. He shuts his eyes to it, he snaps at Adam and calls him a disobedient brat. His priorities and moral compass are so skewed that he goes on to become a villain, though of course he never once sees himself as a villain. There’s not a shred of hesitation when he condemns Aziraphale to death by hellfire. He literally can’t comprehend the concept of “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” He’s the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, don’t talk to him about the greater good, he is the Greatest Good this universe is ever gonna get.
Anyway, to wrap this up, I agree wholeheartedly. Gabriel’s a fantastic character with a lot of good qualities and a lot of flaws. He’s that one boss we all know who piles you with unreasonable deadlines and makes you work through the weekend, but also makes an effort to remember your kids’ names and brings donuts to the budget meeting every Wednesday. We love him and we hate him in equal measure, and that’s what makes him so interesting.
(Also, can we all agree that Jon Hamm was perfect for this role? I was in stitches at the “THANK YOU FOR MY PORNOGRAPHY!” line XD)
@cheeseanonioncrispsreply: The problem is that Gabriel has a very black and white view of morality, which… isn’t actually that surprising, considering the universe he lives in, but it’s his main character flaw.
Anything that is part of the Divine Plan or involved with Heaven is Good, anything that isn’t is Bad.
He’s trying to be a good boss. He’s clearly trying to create a friendly work environment and have good relationships with his employees. He doesn’t understand Aziraphale’s liking for Earthly pleasures, but Aziraphale is still an angel, even if he is a bit weird, and so he is still Good and Gabriel is going to try and make him happy— and he assumes that the destruction of Earth will do that, because it is part of the Divine Plan and therefore Good. Aziraphale has to like it.
But when Aziraphale actively fights against the Divine Plan, and stands hand in hand with a demon and the AntiChrist, and places himself unequivocally (in Gabriel’s mind) on the side of Bad?
Well that’s it. I mean, he must have known Aziraphale for millenia— quite possibly longer than Crowley— and up to now he’s been trying to have a friendly relationship with him. But now he’s Bad, suddenly Gabriel is pissed that he won’t die fast enough.
Gabriel would absolutely die for any of his angels, but he’d also easily kill them if he thought they were no longer on the side of Heaven and the Divine Plan, and you can see both sides of him in the execution scene.
@keelan-666reply: #i think he wasnt exactly happy to do it either tho #i mean he says just shut up and die already with that grin #but his face afterwards is very different #and i think part of how rushed his execution of aziraphale was was bc he just wanted to get it over with #he doesnt think aziraphale doesnt deserve it and he doesnt think hes wrong for doing it #but its still an unpleasant act even if he wants aziraphale dead
@janeymac-iereply: That’s interesting, because I always took the praise, the “excellent job!” stuff not as insincere per se, but as a perfect example of Corporate Positivity.
Ever work for a big company? Like, a US based multinational company? They’re big into Employee Morale and We’re All One Team and This Company Loves You Too, and many of the managers actually buy it. But it’s a corporation, it doesn’t care about any of that. Morale should be high but we won’t hire more people for rush period, we’ll be very insistent about overtime instead (but stop just short of telling you you have to because that’s illegal here.) We’re all one team but actually you’re one of a hundred people who can do your job and we can fire you if we notice a fuck up, and upper management have never heard of you and would be annoyed if you emailed them. This company loves nothing except your productivity even if it treats you well and you will be dropped like a hot potato if needs be.
The managers who buy it, the problem is… they love the company back. And they buy the company line when it’s “we’re all one happy family” and they buy it when it’s “we have to change to lower-quality health insurance for everyone” or “reduced break time this week, too busy” or “Mary Smith has to go”.
Gabriel didn’t care enough to notice that Asiraphale was obviously lying, that his reports had been false for centuries, that he was not, in fact, doing a good job. Gabriel doesn’t care about anything except Heaven. He’s come down from On High to give a cheerful and encouraging pep talk to an underling and he is going to do that just as well as he can, because Morale Is Important and Our Staff Are Valued, and he believes those things but because they’re inherently false, his own sincerity doesn’t matter. God doesn’t answer an angel’s prayers and the CEO doesn’t know your name and never wants to.
The reason it comes across as insincere to most people is the fact that it’s so obviously reflecting that kind of real life interaction. Heaven is a big clean corporation which carefully hides its dirty hands— “we don’t have back channels”— and Gabriel believes the corporate bullshit and ignores the evidence to the contrary, because you can’t go having *doubts* in Heaven.
@feelingbadforcrowleysplantsreply: to me Gabriel doesn’t seem mean or a truly horrible person, he is just so far removed from what az’s world (figuratively and literally) so he is oblivious to az’s feelings. And he just happens to be on an opposing side. He truly believes that Armageddon is the right thing (because why not? He doesn’t care for earth and it seems obvious to him that heaven winning would only be good). And the “die already” is totally understandable (although it still makes me hate him) because he discovered az was a traitor all along and he was betrayed and put in a terrible situation.
Gabriel isn’t a horrible character, he just happens to be on the opposing team
@ilsa-fireswanreply: We coo over “you’re an angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing” but honestly the whole show is Aziraphale trying to maintain faith that Heaven must be Right And Good while seeing it all from humanity’s perspective. Gabriel doesn’t have that. He spent those 6000 years in Head Office - the place where they issue you a flaming sword to lend support to your moral argument. The place you can Fall from for asking too many questions. He doesn’t understand human desires or human responses or human interactions but he’s doing his best to advance the Great Plan - the Greatest Good he knows - and has been since the start of everything. He is (brutally) honest and (aggressively) pushes perfection (or his view of it) for everyone under his direction, but I don’t think he’s maliciously mean. Also, I think his “I like the clothes” moment is an attempt to relate to Aziraphale and his odd little hobby/obsession with humanity.
@mybestfriendsarefictional reply: #yesss #gabriel is definitely a complex character #which is great! #tho i disagree #he isn’t doing “the wrong thing for the wrong reasons’' #i’d argue he’s doing the wrong thing for (what HE genuinely believes are) the right reasons #that’s kind of the point #the angels wholeheartedly believe their side is righteous and good so they can’t POSSIBLY do the wrong thing #aziraphale! is! the! only! one! who! doubts! that! #i dont think gabriel is intentionally malicious either #he just on a fundamental level cannot understand aziraphale #i dont think the other angels are bad necessarily #just very stuck in their ways
Can we talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion? I want to talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion.
Like, obviously Aziraphale rebelling against Heaven started with giving away the sword. We all know this. He took his stand six thousand years ago and has, in his own quiet way, been defending his choice ever since. In the miniseries, we don’t see as much of how Aziraphale actually conducts his work on Earth as we do of Crowley’s half-hearted attempts at Being Bad, aside from that one line during the drunken bookshop scene about how he tries to influence humans to do the actual thwarting, but I think a lot about the line from the script book that was cut for time, about how he was hoping to influence Nero by getting him interested in music. Which… hoooooo boy is thata lot to unpack, but I digress.
Crowley gave humanity the opportunity to choose, and has continued to do so, allowing mankind to choose their fates. And Aziraphale? Aziraphale is doing just as he did in giving Adam and Eve his sword: giving humanity the tools with which to enact their own destiny, whatever that may be. Aziraphale’s methodology is a consistent defense of his original rebellion, but he still tries for six thousand years to tread the fine line of loyalty to Heaven, even as he makes it oh so very clear, with his misprint Bibles and his love of human culture and his clear discomfort in the face of Heaven’s other messengers, that he doesn’t like their ways or their attitude.
But that isn’t what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the moment that Aziraphale goes full loose cannon.
When Aziraphale first gets poofed back to Heaven, he starts out this confrontation with the Quartermaster with the same fumbling, almost unctious behavior he shows to the Archangels (feat. Sandalphon) up until this point. He doesn’t like these people, he barely evenrespects these people, but he feels he owes them his loyalty so he speaks courteously and very nearly obsequiously (but with a twinkle in his eye that says “I am mentally eviscerating every stupidass word out of your idiot mouth” the whole time). He makes light of having been discorporated because he knows he’s in trouble and he’s so in the habit of trying to downplay his slip ups, his tiny rebellions, and dress them up in humor, that it’s his go-to reaction when he suddenly finds himself bodiless and stuck in the absolute last place he wants to be.
But then the Quartermaster starts giving him a dressing down, and at first we see Aziraphale kind of wilting under his ire, shrinking back into himself (which is an amazing bit of physicality from Mr. Sheen, seriously, go rewatch, the body language he uses in this whole scene is amazing) and trying to compress himself down under Heaven’s rage… but then the final blow is delivered:
“You pathetic excuse for an angel!”
And Aziraphale just kind of goes still and absorbs this. He thinks it over. He straightens up. And he makes his choice.
“Well, I suppose I am, really.”
He knows what he is. He’s known from the beginning. His rebellion began six thousand years ago, and all these years with humanity and with Crowley, pushing and pulling at him and making him think and evaluate and question everything, has made him ready to own up to it.
Up until this point, Aziraphale’s rebellion— his misprint Bibles and his little white lies and his overindulgence in human things and the questions he keeps to himself for fear of Falling— has been so quiet. It’s been whispers behind closed doors and a hush-hush Arrangement with an Adversary he shouldn’t even speak to let alone have cozy dinners with. It’s all under lock and key and oh so very discrete.
Until now. Now Aziraphale is pissed.
He’s spent six thousand years teaching humans how to solve their own problems, giving them the tools they need to fight their own battles and actually make use of that power of choice Crowley gave them, even if he doesn’t actually realize that’s what he’s been doing all these years. He’s put literally all the Time there has ever been into guiding and caring for the Earth, and under absolutely no fucking circumstances is he going to let it all be blown to bits so Heaven and Hell can have their stupid pissing contest all over it.
And suddenly all that servile obedience to Heaven, all that soft-spoken pandering, just evaporates. Suddenly it’s “I have nointention of fighting in any war!” Suddenly it’s “Idemand to be returned [to Earth]!” Suddenly Aziraphale has absolutely run out of fucks to give and he’s ready to scream out everything that’s been coming to a slow boil inside him over the course of so many centuries. And he doesn’t know yet, he doesn’t yet understand that all the work he and Crowley have been doing for six thousand years has already given Adam and the Them everything they need to make their choice and defend it. As far as Aziraphale is concerned, he and probably Crowley are the only thing standing between the Earth and its imminent destruction, and he absolutely will not just stand back and let it happen.
It doesn’t matter that his Quartermaster is berating him. It doesn’t matter that that whole line of angels has suddenly turned in eerie, perfect unison to stare him down with blank-eyed dispassion and unfeeling Judgment. It doesn’t matter that this is treason in Heaven’s eyes, that there’s a damn good chance he’s going to Fall for this. He’s chosen his side, and he’s making a stand.
And then the thought occurs to him that, well, why can’t he just go back to Earth? Why can’t he just possess a convenient human host? Demons can do that, and what are demons but fallen angels? Why can’the do what a demon can do? He knows damn well and good that angels and demons aren’t really all that far apart— he has six millennia worth of love and an Arrangement spanning nearly a thousand years to prove it. We talk about Crowley and his imagination and creativity, but Aziraphale is no slouch when it comes to thinking outside the box either. So once Aziraphale starts asking questions, reallyasking them and not just thinking them quietly to himself and then locking them up tight where no one is likely to see, he instantly becomes this unstoppable cannonball of chaotic energy. It’s the loudest, most brazen Rebellion since Lucifer himself, and it’s done in the service of Humanity, because Aziraphale’s defining character trait is his radical kindness.
Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.
So in all that cringing away from the Quartermaster, I see Aziraphale’s eternity of being slowly chipped away by the emotional abuse of Heaven. He might question what’s right, he might question whether he even respects his superiors as he should, but deep down he is an angel and he WANTS so very much to be a good angel. He wants to be acknowledged. He wants to be told that his rebellions are ok because they’re done for the Right Reason (at the same time that he does NOT want to be found out).
And then…they push him too far. Hell is after Crowley (Who may or may not be leaving for ever) earth is about to be destroyed, humanity is going to be wiped out, NO ONE CARES, and now all his failures are laid bare and
And Aziraphale decides he just does not give a single care, s**t or f**k anymore.
It’s like, he hits rock bottom, and realizes in that second that he can actually stand on his own two feet.
There’s something about how Crowley throws out that line: what if the Almighty planned it like this all along? that is just so empathetic and caring and selfless… He knows that Aziraphale has had the ground ripped out from under him, he’s lost all faith in Heaven, he’s literally lost Heaven in fact, he will have to discover what exactly being on his own side with Crowley means (Crowley has been on his own side for a very long time now I think, not so much has changed for him). But Crowley sees there’s something that could make it easier. Aziraphale could retain his faith in God herself choosing to believe that it was all God’s plan, including Aziraphale and Crowley forming their own side. I don’t for a moment believe Crowley actually thinks that’s likely (possible perhaps but not likely) or even particularly cares in a sense (he does what he thinks is right, he follows his own compass and doesn’t need to be told it is in the plan to be alright with that). But he gets where Aziraphale is and he just offers this up as a gift, says it casually like it is no big deal and let’s the seed take root. Like he could have tried to get Aziraphale to see it all as he does but he doesn’t, he helps Aziraphale to make his own peace with it all, to figure it out in his own way. Wow, even here he’s the ultimate defender of free will isn’t he?
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@fuckyeahisawthatreply: Oh interesting! I like this interpretation because this has always seemed like…not a very Crowley line to me. (So much so that I had convinced myself it was Aziraphale’s line until I went back and watched the scene again.) But I really like this take on it!
@amuseoffyrereply: Here’s a thing, though: Crowley does believe in God and he questions Her so many times. This is such a him thing to say because when we saw him yelling at Her in the privacy of his own home, he said “You’re testing them, I know you said you’d be testing them”.
To me, this line reads as him realising that humanity wasn’t the only thing being tested. God was testing her angels and demons and everything else in between. She planned it all like this, knowing Aziraphale and Crowley, the only morally grey, imaginative, enthusiastically loving creatures of Heaven and Hell, would be there. She let them share the gift of free will that humanity had and watched them run with it knew they wouldn’t let her down :)
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: I definitely think God is testing the angels and the demons too and that Crowley realises that, yes. I personally, don’t have faith that God’s plan is all for the ultimate good, that she ensured it would all specifically end up as it does (rather than just testing and seeing the results which is quite different I think). I don’t think Crowley has that faith either, but he’s ok with Aziraphale having that faith as it helps him. The whole “believes in” thing doesn’t really apply. Crowley knows God exists. He believes in God like we believe in the ground under our feet. He is incapable of being either an atheist or a theist in any human sense. The only faith relevant is faith in the plan, faith that God doesn’t just exist but is to be trusted, is a force for the good, is actually in control. I don’t read Crowley as having that personally. He doubts her the whole damn time.
@here-for-analysis-and-squeereply: It echoes his doubts in the garden “what if we both did the wrong thing”, and questioning the God’s plan back then, all the way back
The gaping maw of his opponent made him twitch back, rows of jagged fangs gleaming at him. The man tensed as if to attack him.
How does he eat? He thought to himself only to groan when the jaws-man blinked at him in confusion, straightening out of his battle stance.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
There was a very long pause. Nervous laughter bubbled up inside his chest – mama had always said ‘David, your tendency to speak before thinking was going to get you hurt,’ but never had he considered that would be literal.
“With great difficulty, actually.” The jaws-man said, sitting down sort of suddenly on a nearby log, and looking up at him with a weird amount of reverence. “Nobody’s ever cared about that before.”
Admitting that he didn’t care and was just responding to the adrenaline rush of pre-battle in his own way was probably a bad idea, so he walked over, cautiously, not quite ready to put his sword away yet, and perched on the furthest end of the same log.
“Nobody?”
Jaws-man shook his head.
“What about your family? Parents?”
Jaws-man looked up at him with miserable, tear-filled eyes. “They hated me, made me leave as soon as I could look after myself.” He sniffed, a tear ran down his cheek and slid off some of his teeth.
“Oh, geez, dude.” He reached out to lay and awkward hand on the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that’s awful.”
He nodded, miserably, wiping at the tears that were still falling down his cheeks. David dropped his sword momentarily to rummage around in his pockets until he came up with an unused tissue and offered it up.
“Thanks,” Jaws-man blew his nose with enough force that David could swear he felt the ensuing breeze, but it seemed rude to comment on it.
“How… how old were you? When they thought you could…”
“Eight.”
“Oh.” He had joined the knights at eight years old as well, but even if he had been expected to grow up much faster than his twin sister, there had still been people there to feed him, help him get dressed, people to go to when he had a nightmare. “God, that’s…”
“It’s a reasonable age,” Jaws-man said, a little defensively, “even the knights leave home at eight.”
“I know, I’m a knight.”
“I can see that.”
“Right.” He tugged a little uncomfortably at his breastplate and decided against making the points he had been thinking of. “Do you… do you want to fight?”
“Do we have to?”
“No.” Wrong answer. The commanders would be furious if they knew that he hadn’t even attempted to kill the beast that had been terrorising the local villages. “But, you gotta stop scaring people or they’re gonna send someone to kill you for real, next time.”
Jaws-man sniffed again, miserable, “I don’t know how to get food otherwise.”
“Why don’t you come home with me?”
“What?”
“Not… not to the barracks, to my actual home where my family live and maybe they can help you? My dad needs some help in the smithery.” Terrible idea. Bad idea. Idea that could get him dishonourably discharged and shame brought on his family but… ‘David, never do anything that you couldn’t come home and tell us about, ok? Always do the thing that feels right, promise me?’
“You mean it?”
“You’ll be safe there,” he tucked his sword back into his belt, “…I promise.”
A smile looked weird on the man’s face, what with all those teeth, and it was strained, like he hadn’t ever had time to practice or a reason for smiling. Still, he took his hand and they left the woods together.
David paused to look back at the clearing where no blood had been spilled. Anxiety warred with relief in his chest.
I love that David actually backed up his slip up and probably got a brother out of the deal. It’s very admirable that he offered his home and family to the guy that had been left to rot by everyone else.
