Today I’m having a lot of feelings about. ok. Aziraphale knew there was a demon causing a big ruckus in the Garden. and the very FIRST thing he does is. give his only means of self defense away!!! like
all he knows about demons at that point is what Heaven has told him. and he’s quite certain they’re irredeemably Evil and possibly out to settle a score from the War. and he. he’s not just being nice to the humans. he’s potentially risking his own life for them. he just. does that. immediately
and then said demon waltzes up to him and starts blabbering on about the moon and acting precious about getting damp idkgjfg
like i imagine if Crowley hadn’t shut him up his next words to Anathema would have been like. ‘’…and technically I was supposed to plunge a flaming sword into his head. but well, anyway. he was yammering some nonsense about meta-ethics and the moon and he hates it when his toes get wet, it’s adorable. we’re married now.’’ they’re so absurd
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@tabbystardustreply: And also when the demon asks about his sword he just tells him he gave it away instead of lying like he LIED TO GOD what a disaster angel gotta love him
@ileolaireply: lmao right and like. no wonder crowley immediately splashed his pants over it. first day on the job and this angel is off his chain. he’s fucking mental. he lets humans raid the no-no tree and gives them free weapons for their trouble. immediately blurts out what he did to the Enemy but lies to the boss’s face about it. That’s more Nonsense than Crowley managed to cause in five minutes and causing Nonsense is his job
Good Omens TV + (as I like to call them:) “Good Moments”
Listen, I love to hate on Aziraphale’s boss just as much as the next person, but the more that enjoyable antagonism kept returning him into my thoughts, the more I picked up that things are never just black and white in this story… so here it is, a compilation of GO-TV Gabriel’s (relatively) good moments that nobody ever asked for.
Yes, he’s a horrible boss and annoying and full of himself and wants the world to end… but. Most of what he does probably doesn’t come from a place of malice? (I know, I know, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions [and door-to-door salesmen]…) He’s juts as fallible as most of the characters, it just shows differently. But then he also has to have his good side, and moments when that can shine through. And he does:
A) He’s very generous in giving out praise? (See GIFs 1-3.) I wish most authority figures I’ve encountered would be handing out validation that generously. Anyway, a breakdown: 1. Yes, it comes off as being gullible or not paying enough attention to his field agent(s), but he does believe Aziraphale when he says he’s been doing his job without Crowley noticing him. And Gabriel looks genuinely impressed with that. He doesn’t give explicit praise here, but he does call this achievement a “miracle”, which, among angels, should count for something. 2. Come on, he actually claps when Aziraphale gives his report (about influencing the Antichrist)? And I’m pretty sure he knew the other angels would follow sort. He applauds and compliments, even though he firmly believes what Aziraphale is trying to do will eventually prove to be pointless. Not a sentence I thought I’d write, but he does seem to appreciate doing Good just for the sake of doing Good. 3. Again, with the “excellent job”s. That’s all. (Also, in the full scene, he keeps going on about the little joke that Sandalphon made, which is… kind of sweet, I guess.)
B) In the 4th GIF: yes, I know, we don’t like the full scene and Gabriel says mean things, etc. But there is one tiny moment I needed some time to appreciate… The Great War is pretty much imminent at this point. Within a day, everything on Earth will be destroyed, so whatever Aziraphale does that day (other than going to war) would be pretty much inconsequential. They’ve already met here, Azi’s reported all that he knows, so, really, there is no particular reason to keep him on Earth anymore? No reason why Gabriel couldn’t make him go back to Heaven right then, with him? He’s never seemed like he appreciates any aspect of Aziraphale’s earthly disguise beyond the strict necessities. But now that whole disguise is pointless… but still, however little they generally understand each other with this estranged underling, Gabriel seems to understand that all the inconsequential earthly things are still important to Aziraphale, and gives him time (as much as he can) to “wrap things up”. Yes, this seems like the bare minimum of humanity, but (a) they’re not human and (b) if Gabriel was nothing but the epitome of horrible bosses, he wouldn’t show even this small purposeless kindness.
C) In GIFs 5-6: after I first watched that episode, I used to privately call this “the only redeeming character moment”. Faced with incriminating evidence against Aziraphale, Gabriel says there must be an “innocent explanation”. Now, I might be the gullible one here, but it seems genuine to me. Also, we seem to love imagining Gabriel as this nigh-all-knowing, all-controlling ultimate boss, but… pardon the expression, he’s only “human”. (Not technically, but you know what I mean.) The way he replies, his expressions and his pondering really sold me on the fact that he has no idea about the existence of “back channels”. Apparently, he doesn’t know nearly as much about his co-workers as he thinks he does - which, I almost feel sorry for him, having to run Heaven that way. Expectations and negative qualities aside, he’s doing the best he can.
D) I’ll keep this as non-spoilery as I can (thank you English language for the passive voice): when the angels are getting fire-breathed at (ugh, I take it back, screw the passive voice), all of them back away in shock and horror, but… Notice what their hands/arms are doing? It’s a split-second reaction, so there isn’t really time for being calculated or pretentious. They, in some way, all reach for each other. It can be seen both as a terrified gesture of seeking comfort in their connection, and as an instinctive gesture of protection - with Sandalphon and Uriel wanting to drag Gabriel back out from the line of fire, and, in turn, Gabriel wanting to push them back into safety (while he’s possibly still a bit more in harm’s way). Whichever one it is, it doesn’t look like the act of a horrible person to me.
To conclude. This collection of course doesn’t balance out his world-ending and simply mean personality traits and actions, but I haven’t seen a compilation of “bloody Gabriel’s” non-horrible moments. And my brain couldn’t stand to leave something GO-related without adding some shades of grey. He might mostly be doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons, or, at least, nearly never the right things for the right reasons. But. You know, my history teacher used to say, there are two types of generals: the one that says “Advance!” and the one that says “Follow me!”, and it says a lot about the generals themselves which ones they are. Gabriel would definitely shout “Follow me!”, and that’s enough of a testament of a certain amount of goodness for me.
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@forineffablereasonsreply: #given that i think a big part of the Point to good omens is that there’s good and bad in everyone #and it’s the bit you choose to act on that matters most #it comes as no surprise that there’s good and bad even in these ancillary characters #it makes the story super layered and nuanced which i love
@hedonistbyheartreply: #I think there is value in seeing the good parts too yeah #and Gabriel is only as ruthlss as God herself in the end #even if i absolutely do not appreciate the fatshaming or the ‘die already’
@dukev027 reply: I think it’s important to add that some of Gabriel’s motivations and reactions comes from the fact that he firmly believes all the angels are acting exactly as angels should. He’s impressed with Aziraphale evading Crowley, because the idea of them working today doesn’t ever cross his mind. This scenario doesn’t exist for him. When Michael confronts him with the photos, Gabriel defends Aziraphale, because he can’t imagine the angel lying to him. And when Michael asks to use the back channels, Gabriel states there are no back channels, because for a proper angel there aren’t any.
Call it negligent or whatever (I wouldn’t personally), but Gabriel doesn’t comprehend that an angel would go against their nature. This is why when he finally realizes Aziraphale “betrayed” them, he gets harsher than usual, maybe even jaded, verbally lashing out at Aziraphale. The betrayal is what drives him to make an example out of Aziraphale and to connect with rather unpredicted allies (though, I would wager this is a temporary alignment). If these other angels are going to be improper, why shouldn’t he?
@rainydaydecafreply: Yes, to all of this. It did strike me, going back to rewatch Good Omens, that for all of Gabriel’s faults, he’s not purposely trying to be a jerk. He’s actually very genuine in everything he says and does. He believes in the good he’s doing, he’s very upbeat and an overall positive influence on the angels around him, and he strives to lead through enthusiastic example. He’s excited at the prospect of Armageddon, and not in a bloodthirsty way… he just doesn’t understand what could possibly be bad about billions of humans getting slaughtered. They’re just humans, after all, and humans die, it’s what they do. He’s content to follow orders, just like most of the angels. If it’s part of the Divine Plan, then it can’t possibly be wrong.
Gabriel only really shows his jerk side when the Divine Plan goes sideways and Aziraphale steps forward and makes him question what he’s doing. Makes him doubt, makes him look back and realize that he might be wrong. And that’s a very uncomfortable feeling for someone who has spent thousand of years basking in the absolute faith that he is Right In All Things. Gabriel doesn’t want to shift his world-view or open himself to the possibility that he misinterpreted God’s word. He just doesn’t. He shuts his eyes to it, he snaps at Adam and calls him a disobedient brat. His priorities and moral compass are so skewed that he goes on to become a villain, though of course he never once sees himself as a villain. There’s not a shred of hesitation when he condemns Aziraphale to death by hellfire. He literally can’t comprehend the concept of “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” He’s the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, don’t talk to him about the greater good, he is the Greatest Good this universe is ever gonna get.
Anyway, to wrap this up, I agree wholeheartedly. Gabriel’s a fantastic character with a lot of good qualities and a lot of flaws. He’s that one boss we all know who piles you with unreasonable deadlines and makes you work through the weekend, but also makes an effort to remember your kids’ names and brings donuts to the budget meeting every Wednesday. We love him and we hate him in equal measure, and that’s what makes him so interesting.
(Also, can we all agree that Jon Hamm was perfect for this role? I was in stitches at the “THANK YOU FOR MY PORNOGRAPHY!” line XD)
@cheeseanonioncrispsreply: The problem is that Gabriel has a very black and white view of morality, which… isn’t actually that surprising, considering the universe he lives in, but it’s his main character flaw.
Anything that is part of the Divine Plan or involved with Heaven is Good, anything that isn’t is Bad.
He’s trying to be a good boss. He’s clearly trying to create a friendly work environment and have good relationships with his employees. He doesn’t understand Aziraphale’s liking for Earthly pleasures, but Aziraphale is still an angel, even if he is a bit weird, and so he is still Good and Gabriel is going to try and make him happy— and he assumes that the destruction of Earth will do that, because it is part of the Divine Plan and therefore Good. Aziraphale has to like it.
But when Aziraphale actively fights against the Divine Plan, and stands hand in hand with a demon and the AntiChrist, and places himself unequivocally (in Gabriel’s mind) on the side of Bad?
Well that’s it. I mean, he must have known Aziraphale for millenia— quite possibly longer than Crowley— and up to now he’s been trying to have a friendly relationship with him. But now he’s Bad, suddenly Gabriel is pissed that he won’t die fast enough.
Gabriel would absolutely die for any of his angels, but he’d also easily kill them if he thought they were no longer on the side of Heaven and the Divine Plan, and you can see both sides of him in the execution scene.
@keelan-666reply: #i think he wasnt exactly happy to do it either tho #i mean he says just shut up and die already with that grin #but his face afterwards is very different #and i think part of how rushed his execution of aziraphale was was bc he just wanted to get it over with #he doesnt think aziraphale doesnt deserve it and he doesnt think hes wrong for doing it #but its still an unpleasant act even if he wants aziraphale dead
@janeymac-iereply: That’s interesting, because I always took the praise, the “excellent job!” stuff not as insincere per se, but as a perfect example of Corporate Positivity.
Ever work for a big company? Like, a US based multinational company? They’re big into Employee Morale and We’re All One Team and This Company Loves You Too, and many of the managers actually buy it. But it’s a corporation, it doesn’t care about any of that. Morale should be high but we won’t hire more people for rush period, we’ll be very insistent about overtime instead (but stop just short of telling you you have to because that’s illegal here.) We’re all one team but actually you’re one of a hundred people who can do your job and we can fire you if we notice a fuck up, and upper management have never heard of you and would be annoyed if you emailed them. This company loves nothing except your productivity even if it treats you well and you will be dropped like a hot potato if needs be.
The managers who buy it, the problem is… they love the company back. And they buy the company line when it’s “we’re all one happy family” and they buy it when it’s “we have to change to lower-quality health insurance for everyone” or “reduced break time this week, too busy” or “Mary Smith has to go”.
Gabriel didn’t care enough to notice that Asiraphale was obviously lying, that his reports had been false for centuries, that he was not, in fact, doing a good job. Gabriel doesn’t care about anything except Heaven. He’s come down from On High to give a cheerful and encouraging pep talk to an underling and he is going to do that just as well as he can, because Morale Is Important and Our Staff Are Valued, and he believes those things but because they’re inherently false, his own sincerity doesn’t matter. God doesn’t answer an angel’s prayers and the CEO doesn’t know your name and never wants to.
The reason it comes across as insincere to most people is the fact that it’s so obviously reflecting that kind of real life interaction. Heaven is a big clean corporation which carefully hides its dirty hands— “we don’t have back channels”— and Gabriel believes the corporate bullshit and ignores the evidence to the contrary, because you can’t go having *doubts* in Heaven.
@feelingbadforcrowleysplantsreply: to me Gabriel doesn’t seem mean or a truly horrible person, he is just so far removed from what az’s world (figuratively and literally) so he is oblivious to az’s feelings. And he just happens to be on an opposing side. He truly believes that Armageddon is the right thing (because why not? He doesn’t care for earth and it seems obvious to him that heaven winning would only be good). And the “die already” is totally understandable (although it still makes me hate him) because he discovered az was a traitor all along and he was betrayed and put in a terrible situation.
Gabriel isn’t a horrible character, he just happens to be on the opposing team
@ilsa-fireswanreply: We coo over “you’re an angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing” but honestly the whole show is Aziraphale trying to maintain faith that Heaven must be Right And Good while seeing it all from humanity’s perspective. Gabriel doesn’t have that. He spent those 6000 years in Head Office - the place where they issue you a flaming sword to lend support to your moral argument. The place you can Fall from for asking too many questions. He doesn’t understand human desires or human responses or human interactions but he’s doing his best to advance the Great Plan - the Greatest Good he knows - and has been since the start of everything. He is (brutally) honest and (aggressively) pushes perfection (or his view of it) for everyone under his direction, but I don’t think he’s maliciously mean. Also, I think his “I like the clothes” moment is an attempt to relate to Aziraphale and his odd little hobby/obsession with humanity.
@mybestfriendsarefictional reply: #yesss #gabriel is definitely a complex character #which is great! #tho i disagree #he isn’t doing “the wrong thing for the wrong reasons’' #i’d argue he’s doing the wrong thing for (what HE genuinely believes are) the right reasons #that’s kind of the point #the angels wholeheartedly believe their side is righteous and good so they can’t POSSIBLY do the wrong thing #aziraphale! is! the! only! one! who! doubts! that! #i dont think gabriel is intentionally malicious either #he just on a fundamental level cannot understand aziraphale #i dont think the other angels are bad necessarily #just very stuck in their ways
Can we talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion? I want to talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion.
Like, obviously Aziraphale rebelling against Heaven started with giving away the sword. We all know this. He took his stand six thousand years ago and has, in his own quiet way, been defending his choice ever since. In the miniseries, we don’t see as much of how Aziraphale actually conducts his work on Earth as we do of Crowley’s half-hearted attempts at Being Bad, aside from that one line during the drunken bookshop scene about how he tries to influence humans to do the actual thwarting, but I think a lot about the line from the script book that was cut for time, about how he was hoping to influence Nero by getting him interested in music. Which… hoooooo boy is thata lot to unpack, but I digress.
Crowley gave humanity the opportunity to choose, and has continued to do so, allowing mankind to choose their fates. And Aziraphale? Aziraphale is doing just as he did in giving Adam and Eve his sword: giving humanity the tools with which to enact their own destiny, whatever that may be. Aziraphale’s methodology is a consistent defense of his original rebellion, but he still tries for six thousand years to tread the fine line of loyalty to Heaven, even as he makes it oh so very clear, with his misprint Bibles and his love of human culture and his clear discomfort in the face of Heaven’s other messengers, that he doesn’t like their ways or their attitude.
But that isn’t what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the moment that Aziraphale goes full loose cannon.
When Aziraphale first gets poofed back to Heaven, he starts out this confrontation with the Quartermaster with the same fumbling, almost unctious behavior he shows to the Archangels (feat. Sandalphon) up until this point. He doesn’t like these people, he barely evenrespects these people, but he feels he owes them his loyalty so he speaks courteously and very nearly obsequiously (but with a twinkle in his eye that says “I am mentally eviscerating every stupidass word out of your idiot mouth” the whole time). He makes light of having been discorporated because he knows he’s in trouble and he’s so in the habit of trying to downplay his slip ups, his tiny rebellions, and dress them up in humor, that it’s his go-to reaction when he suddenly finds himself bodiless and stuck in the absolute last place he wants to be.
But then the Quartermaster starts giving him a dressing down, and at first we see Aziraphale kind of wilting under his ire, shrinking back into himself (which is an amazing bit of physicality from Mr. Sheen, seriously, go rewatch, the body language he uses in this whole scene is amazing) and trying to compress himself down under Heaven’s rage… but then the final blow is delivered:
“You pathetic excuse for an angel!”
And Aziraphale just kind of goes still and absorbs this. He thinks it over. He straightens up. And he makes his choice.
“Well, I suppose I am, really.”
He knows what he is. He’s known from the beginning. His rebellion began six thousand years ago, and all these years with humanity and with Crowley, pushing and pulling at him and making him think and evaluate and question everything, has made him ready to own up to it.
Up until this point, Aziraphale’s rebellion— his misprint Bibles and his little white lies and his overindulgence in human things and the questions he keeps to himself for fear of Falling— has been so quiet. It’s been whispers behind closed doors and a hush-hush Arrangement with an Adversary he shouldn’t even speak to let alone have cozy dinners with. It’s all under lock and key and oh so very discrete.
Until now. Now Aziraphale is pissed.
He’s spent six thousand years teaching humans how to solve their own problems, giving them the tools they need to fight their own battles and actually make use of that power of choice Crowley gave them, even if he doesn’t actually realize that’s what he’s been doing all these years. He’s put literally all the Time there has ever been into guiding and caring for the Earth, and under absolutely no fucking circumstances is he going to let it all be blown to bits so Heaven and Hell can have their stupid pissing contest all over it.
And suddenly all that servile obedience to Heaven, all that soft-spoken pandering, just evaporates. Suddenly it’s “I have nointention of fighting in any war!” Suddenly it’s “Idemand to be returned [to Earth]!” Suddenly Aziraphale has absolutely run out of fucks to give and he’s ready to scream out everything that’s been coming to a slow boil inside him over the course of so many centuries. And he doesn’t know yet, he doesn’t yet understand that all the work he and Crowley have been doing for six thousand years has already given Adam and the Them everything they need to make their choice and defend it. As far as Aziraphale is concerned, he and probably Crowley are the only thing standing between the Earth and its imminent destruction, and he absolutely will not just stand back and let it happen.
It doesn’t matter that his Quartermaster is berating him. It doesn’t matter that that whole line of angels has suddenly turned in eerie, perfect unison to stare him down with blank-eyed dispassion and unfeeling Judgment. It doesn’t matter that this is treason in Heaven’s eyes, that there’s a damn good chance he’s going to Fall for this. He’s chosen his side, and he’s making a stand.
And then the thought occurs to him that, well, why can’t he just go back to Earth? Why can’t he just possess a convenient human host? Demons can do that, and what are demons but fallen angels? Why can’the do what a demon can do? He knows damn well and good that angels and demons aren’t really all that far apart— he has six millennia worth of love and an Arrangement spanning nearly a thousand years to prove it. We talk about Crowley and his imagination and creativity, but Aziraphale is no slouch when it comes to thinking outside the box either. So once Aziraphale starts asking questions, reallyasking them and not just thinking them quietly to himself and then locking them up tight where no one is likely to see, he instantly becomes this unstoppable cannonball of chaotic energy. It’s the loudest, most brazen Rebellion since Lucifer himself, and it’s done in the service of Humanity, because Aziraphale’s defining character trait is his radical kindness.
Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.
So in all that cringing away from the Quartermaster, I see Aziraphale’s eternity of being slowly chipped away by the emotional abuse of Heaven. He might question what’s right, he might question whether he even respects his superiors as he should, but deep down he is an angel and he WANTS so very much to be a good angel. He wants to be acknowledged. He wants to be told that his rebellions are ok because they’re done for the Right Reason (at the same time that he does NOT want to be found out).
And then…they push him too far. Hell is after Crowley (Who may or may not be leaving for ever) earth is about to be destroyed, humanity is going to be wiped out, NO ONE CARES, and now all his failures are laid bare and
And Aziraphale decides he just does not give a single care, s**t or f**k anymore.
It’s like, he hits rock bottom, and realizes in that second that he can actually stand on his own two feet.
Alright here’s my two cents in the is Aziraphale soft or BAMF question: he’s both. He’s fully both and he’s always been both because, in spite of what we get told, there’s a certain kind of BAMFness that comes from softness. They aren’t actually opposites. Softness (compassion, kindness etc) is not weakness. It requires great strength and it generates strength.
There are two kinds of BAMF. There’s the one we usually see: the hot-headed, competitive, let’s take on the world and win, aggressive, ambitious kind of BAMF. That’s all bravado and hot anger. You know, the kind of anger that calls you to destroy, to conquer? And then after you may well regret your actions?
But there’s the other kind too: a protective, ruthlessly determined, aggressive yes, but in a defensive way kind of BAMF. It is a whole different thing. It isn’t a hot anger at all, but a cold one. It never calls you to seek out and destroy but it is the certainty that you must do what you must do to protect what needs protecting. And when it is moved it is absolutely ruthless. Actions taken are not regretted. They are, after all, simply what had to be done. This is the BAMFness that grows out of softness (compassion, kindness) because part of all of that softness is ruthlessly and fiercely protecting what you love, those you are compassionate towards. It is a kind of righteous anger (appropriately enough!) motivated not by ego but by correcting wrongs.
Think of a mama bear. From the cub’s perspective she’s all love and kindness. All softness. If all’s well she’s happy fussing about with her cave, her world, her cubs. She’s not interested in ego-related aggression like expanding her territory. Far better to make peace, to forge the kind of alliances that allow for a peaceful world in which her cubs can grow. But if you step into her cave and threaten her cubs you’ll see a very different side to all of that softness because she will kill you without hesitation. Not because she’s aggressive in a hot-headed way but out of compassion and love for her cubs. You simply must be eliminated and that’s that.
That is the BAMFness of Aziraphale. It isn’t in opposition to his softness. It grows out of it. His is a righteous BAMFness. He will do everything he can to forge the kind of peace his cubs (Crowley, humanity) need. He’s had no ambitions on anyone else’s territory. But if you step into his cave (the world) and threaten his cubs he will do whatever he thinks is needed to eliminate that threat (break his alliance to Heaven, possess a human, kill a child, argue with the highest authority in Heaven).
And that, for me, is a key lesson Aziraphale gives us: softness is not weakness. That is a lie. There is a kind of ruthless and righteous strength that grows out of softest parts of ourselves. Aziraphale is a soft BAMF.
I think in the series, we see Aziraphale trying to reject and deny his BAMF side a bit, just really fall into being the soft cuddly sofa person, “the nice one.” I think he loses sight, at times, of the fact that he can be both, that he is both, that denying one side or the other is denying himself.
Somewhere between “I’m not fighting in any war” and taking care of the soldier, he rediscovers his BAMF side. Not all at once, not at one specific moment, but action after action shows he is pushing away from his soft side because the world (and Crowley) needs the BAMF angel.
But then he goes too far. He forgets his soft side, and now he’s all-in on killing a child. The BAMF side is where he keeps his strength, but the soft is where his compassion is. He tried to put that side of himself away, and it was nearly a disaster.
But.
Then he finds the balance point. BAMF enough to debate theology with the Archangel fucking Gabriel, soft enough to comfort a scared 11-year-old and help him find the courage to save them.
And…that’s who Aziraphale really is. In that moment, he’s found his best self - the self that is as strong as those around him need him to be, and soft enough to know how to wield that strength.
It might take him some time to get comfortable with the way the two halves occupy his self, but the hardest bit - accepting they are both him, knowing he needs to lean on both sides, seeing them as his inner yin and yang not some dichotomy he has to choose between - that has come, and he has survived it.
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: No, no — I disagree with this. My whole point is they are NOT separate sides. His is the kind of BAMFness that grows out of softness. His willingness to kill Adam—in that absolutely extreme situation in which he honestly believes it is the only way to save the world—is an act of compassion—for the world and everyone in it—it is the fierce and protective side of compassion. Think: mama bear killing to protect her cubs. He isn’t balancing two sides. It is all one thing. But it is a kind of BAMFness that is rarely portrayed or talked about and so we find it hard to recognise.
@aethelflaedladyofmerciareply: Hmm, I think I didn’t articulate very well and now we’re talking past each other. Let me try again.
Agree:
Aziraphale’s strength comes from his protective instincts and compassion
There is a strength in softness
Soft doesn’t equal weak
They aren’t two sides that need to be chosen between
However:
Heaven’s strength is generally very aggressive, as is Hell’s. This is the lens through which characters see and understand “strength”
This includes Aziraphale - he doesn’t know his own strength, he thinks he’s weak BECAUSE he doesn’t show that kind of strength (I’m soft!) - he thinks he has to play by Heaven’s rules, be one or the other.
And as a result, he feels the need to be less compassionate while saving the world - he is still being protective of the world as a whole, but he THINKS his natural compassion and desire to protect those in front of him is a weakness
This leads to him almost shooting Adam, when a more measured assessment of the situation would have made him realize that he should be trying to help the child.
Then, while watching the Them beat the Horsepeople, he realizes his mistake. He recognizes their strength, and his own, and is able to embrace the balanced strength that comes natural to him
(What I’m reminded of is how in martial arts, people think of being calm and being active as two separate states - you’re calm/at rest/patient, or you’re active/emotional/strong. However, practitioners know you get the best strength from that calm state - they aren’t opposites, you use calm to fuel activity. Acknowledging this and finding your strength in the calmness is an important early step.
(The kind of strength Heaven shows is an opposite of compassion; Aziraphale’s flows from compassion. When he accepts his own strength, he rejects Heaven’s and becomes the better version of himself. It feels like balancing two sides when you do it, but it’s not - it’s rejecting the part you don’t need and learning to draw your strength from the right source.)
I hope that makes more sense…this is very hard to put into words!
@angel-and-serpentreply: He’s a level-headed BAMF. He believes in sacrificing one for the sake of many, if that’s what it takes. He wishes it wouldn’t come to actual violence, though. Destroying the Antichrist isn’t a nice job, but somebody has to do it and Crowley is too busy crying over his car, really darling I could use some help here!
Once he sees that Adam isn’t the unholy threat that they both imagined, but a child - a human child, no different than the other humans he’s been charged to protect - his priorities change then and there.
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: Yes. While he honestly believes—a totally reasonable belief at the time too—that the only way to save the world is to kill Adam, it is a morally reasonable step to take. It isn’t a failure of softness, it is motivated by compassion. If, when faced with the same scenario, he refused to kill Adam he would have had to live with the death of literally every other child on the planet.
