#not sex advice
Dear Professor [name],
My name is [Preferred name], and I will be attending your course [blank] on [days] at [time] this [term]. I am transgender and have not yet legally changed my name. On your roster is my legal name, [Legal name]. I would greatly appreciate it if you refer to me as [Preferred name] and use [pronouns] when referring to me. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to starting your course next week.
Sincerely,
~[Preferred name]
PS- go read the GENDER book if you have questions.
Hope this is helpful to our friends heading back to school!
One thing they don’t tell you about top surgery:
You’re gonna have a hormone crash, and it’s gonna be weird, and for the first couple days you’re gonna feel weird and bad emotionally and maybe feel like you made a mistake.
Yeah, that’s actually normal. Your breasts produce hormones and trigger hormone production elsewhere, and removing them induces something like a mild form of postpartum depression.
IT WILL PASS.
For the first few days I couldn’t even glance at my chest without feeling horrible, like I’d done something egregious. A few days later and I’m fine and thrilled, just as I thought I would be. The hormone crash is real, it’s okay, and don’t freak out about it too much. It will pass. You’ve done the right thing and you know it.
Hormones are just weird and evil.
Morning reblog
Hiya everyone! So I made a post ages about how what to expect if you go on HRT (for trans guys and similar) and here is my experience with a bilateral mastectomy and what will happen during and after if you get it. No pics in case it gets flagged as lewd.
Ok so here is what your surgeon should/will do:
- They will remove some of the fat from your breasts. I say some because the amount will be in proportion to your body type. They and you want your pectoral to look like it still belongs to your body, like the fat has distributed itself naturally there but in a more masculine way. So if you’re ‘overweight’ you might not have as much taken as you think, leaving you with ‘man boobs’ instead.
- They will shave the nipple and trim the size of the areola if needed. I had quite large nipples, but my areola were deemed ok by both my surgeon and me. My partner was the opposite way around. You may be fine without this being altered and should talk about it with your surgeon.
- The areola/nipple will be moved to a more masculine line on the pectoral. It makes a whole lot of difference, like, you probably didn’t even think about that before (I know I didn’t) and I love it now.
So what happens after?
Oh gosh you will be so hungry and pale after surgery. If you’ve never had any kind of surgery before, be prepared, oof.
Your surgery team should give you some exercises to do, ways to move your arms to keep you from seizing up. If they don’t look them up. I’m not even joking on this, even if it aches a bit, do them as much as you can. Directly after surgery when you start to feel awake again they will likely be no pain, which is a perfect time to practice them.
Keep your compression socks on for a week or so. They should tell you this, but here I’m preparing you now.
You will have drains in the wound, meaning you’ll have bags slowly filling up with waste fluids and blood. These should be emptied whenever they look to be getting pretty full. My best advice is to try and keep one either side of you, including when sleeping, which you’re gonna have to do on your back for a while.
Your nipple scabs will be the last things to go. The scabbing around the scars? Goes quick. Areola? Same. My nipples scabs hung on in there. It is so tempting to want to just pull them off, but you have to try and resist as much as possible. I was always messing with mine a little, and just managed to stop myself fully picking them off.
However! I found to my shock and horror that there seemed to be NOTHING under the scabs. Well, that means my nipples fell off right? That can happen after all. In my case…no. The skin around and under was healthy and pink* and after a good few months I started to see my nipples raising up again as healthy as ever. There was little about this on the internet, just one of two similar guys who had had it happen, so lets bring that number up by one. Unless there is pain, it’s likely fine! Your nipples just need a bit longer to heal.
*I completely lost pigment in my nipple/areola after surgery. They went from dark to super pink under the scabs and are only just starting to darken a little again. Who knows if the pigment will return, but I certainly never expected it as a side effect.
If you feel constant/frequent pain, redness, soreness, weeping, blackening of the skin - see a doctor/ contact your surgeon again. If you get dog earring (bits of skin sticking out from the area under your armpits) it can be fixed so don’t worry about it too much. The scar will stretch from the end of each pectoral to under the armpit, but with care and time they will fade. Bio-Oil is supposed to be good for scar lightening.
That’s all I can think of, but I’m happy to answer any questions anyone may have if I can ^^
Tips for underwear if you’re trans!
- It’s not as scary as it seems. You’ll be awake one minute, preparing for top surgery and be awaking up after top surgery (wondering if it really happened) the next.
- Chamomile tea and Benadryl can both help with itchiness after top surgery.
- You should not take T for a week after top surgery.
- Do not use icepacks or hot packs after top surgery (as they can destroy the healing skin).
- Bendy straws are your friend.
- You will probably need someone to help you sit up and lay down.
- Rest the first two days after top surgery, even if you don’t feel like you need to, you will thank yourself later.
- You can ask as many questions as you want. Getting top surgery is going to effect the rest of your life so you should ask any and all questions you have. You can also request certain specifications done to your chest.
- Drains may seems scary but they prevent some of the swelling and they promote healing. After your drains are out a lot of your pain goes away but the drains are definitely worth it.
- Always have someone with you for 24 hours after your surgery.
- The ace bandages that you have to wear after top surgery will feel a bit tight but won’t hurt nearly as much as binding.
- It might be hard to get on and off of high beds and chairs so make sure you have a step stool handy.
- Use pillows to prop yourself up.
- You have to sleep on your back after top surgery and should do so for 3 months if you get nipple grafts (the recommended time for sleeping on your back varies depending on who you ask but I still recommend 3 months just to be careful).
- After top surgery you should not lift your elbow above your shoulder for a few weeks (usually 6) or until you are healed.
- After top surgery you can not lift any more then five pounds (for about six weeks).
- Buy some button up/zip up shirts that are a couple sizes too big for you. You’ll need these to go over your drains.
- Shave your armpits before top surgery. The hair will get in the way of your bandages and possibly the surgeon while preforming surgery if you don’t.
- Go around the place you will be staying after top surgery with “T-rex” arms to see what maybe a problem for you after surgery and find a solution to it before you get home. (Ex. if you have to reach far into your sink to wash your hands it may be best to get a washbasin).
- If your results aren’t perfect they can always be revised.
- If your nipples are smaller then you’d like them to be, or oval when you want them to be round then you can always get a tattoo artist to tattoo around the outside of them to fix those imperfections. You can also get your nipples tattooed on instead of the nipple grafts.
- The nipple grafts require three weeks of dressings after surgery while the rest of your chest does not need nearly as much work.
- Your chest won’t look great after top surgery but over time it will look a lot better. They recommend waiting at least 3 months to a year after your surgery to get revisions.
- You might be really nauseous after top surgery and you might not be able to eat normal foods right away. Get some sourdough bread and ginger ale the day before your top surgery and allow the ginger ale to flatten just in case you can’t eat normal food.
- Have someone to talk to about what you are going through really helps.
(These are just recommendations and are in no way strict guidelines for what you should do when getting top surgery. I am also not a medical professional, so if you plan on following the above advice please ask the opinion of your doctor or surgeon before hand.)
