I’ve struggled a bit with my body image. I wouldn’t call it dysphoria… just discontent.
Despite my best efforts, I’m super hairy and mega testosterone-pumped. As I was a premature baby and they put me in a tube and pumped me full of hormones for the first 6 months of my life. My hair grows super fast and my shoulders a super broad. I don’t have a problem with my body’s shape. It’s just average and I can get slimmer if I want to. What I have a problem with is the HAIR.
It’s everywhere. It’s on every inch of me. It tangles on everything. It rubs against my clothes. It’s so uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel like a part of me. It feels like a parasite that latches onto me. It feels like a mold that’s grown onto me, like an infection.
Lately I’ve tried conditioning myself to it. I’ve been consciously more aware of it. I’ve spent more time naked, just looking at myself. Reassuring myself that this is my body and I can do what I want with it. Reminding myself that the hair is not part of me.
Yesterday, I was in my room on my phone, wearing nothing but thigh-highs. (I love stockings and thigh-highs, they’re like weighted blankets to me. They hug my legs and comfort me.) I looked down at my super-hairy thighs, and for the first time, I felt a rush of euphoria.
I thought to myself; “wow… that persons cute… wait a minute…. THATS ME!”
I think what happened was I looked past the hair to see the person underneath. That’s a very poetic parallel to looking past my masculine body to see my feminine personality. I really wish other people could do the same.
How have y'all struggled with body image? What are your stories?
A couple weeks ago I wore a dress to my school’s swimming carnival, we were allowed casual dress and I wasn’t swimming. Overall, it went well. The worst comment I got was “Why are you wearing a dress?” and most of my friends were supportive and some strangers were too. But no teachers said anything, which worried me a little.
About 2 weeks after that I wore a skirt to a production camp. This was a lot better as there were a lot less people and I knew everybody there. I got a lot more compliments and more support. It felt great to share a side of me that I’d been hiding!
Have you ever done anything similar? Tell me your stories pls!
if gender is a box, i am a cat with the box. if i fits i sits, but i have legs. i get bored and/or have other reasons to leave the box whenever, and i can, so i do.
the box is not closed. except when schrodinger’s gender. that’s when it gets reallyinteresting.
To make any potential catboys/catgirls/nyanbinaries that may appear in your fantasy thing accurate realistic be sure to have them be able to subdued and placated by headpats.
