#obx angst
Grief
Based On: Outer Banks (SEASON 2 SPOILERS)
Warnings: Language, Angst, s2 spoilers
Characters: JJ x Reader, John B x Sister!Reader
Word Count: 650
Summary: JJ and Y/N both have very different ways of grieving their loss.
a/n:i’m not sure why i felt the need to write something so sad today so i would just like to apologize lol
pretty please DON’T steal my work it’s literally not cool- also i would LOVE if you left some feedback ! thank u and hope u guys enjoy :))
Your leg bounced nervously from your position on the couch. The TV was on, but you were paying it no attention, instead, more focused on the dozens of things racing through your head.
You hadn’t seen JJ since the day that John B and Sarah were pronounced dead, it had been almost 3 days now.
Originally, you had tried to be patient with him, knowing he was grieving a best friend and that the loss of John B had hit him hard. But, it was starting to feel like JJ had forgotten that you were grieving as well- and John B wasn’t just a best friend to you, he was a brother. Hell, he had been the only real family you had left. You had always counted on JJ being in your corner, but now he was nowhere to be found.
You checked your phone for probably the tenth time in the past 15 minutes. You weren’t surprised, but still furious to see that JJ hadn’t bothered to call or reply to the dozens of texts and voice mails you had left him.
While part of you was fuming at the boy for disappearing and leaving you with no notice, there was a constant nag of worry for him that was eating away at you. Was he okay? Had something happened?
Kiara and Pope seemed less worried than you about JJ, figuring that he just needed time alone to figure things out. But that was easy for them to say, they had each other to find solace in. You had spent the last 3 days trying to navigate life without your big brother alone and it was devastating.
Your head snapped at the sound of the front door opening, revealing the blonde boy who had been causing you so much anguish. He looked awful- not that you were looking your best. His eyes were red and puffy and from the way he stumbled inside, it was obvious he was intoxicated.
You rolled your eyes, barely able to contain your anger. “No call? No text? What, was I supposed to just guess when you were gonna come back?”
JJ sighed, waving you off, “Sorry,” He mumbled, sounding slightly annoyed by your anger.
“Sorry’s not gonna cut it-” you scoffed, “Where the hell have you been?”
He groaned and rolled his eyes, “Y/N, just screw off,”
“Screw off?“ you repeated, your voice rising as you spoke, "I have sat on this damn couch calling and texting you for days! I had no idea where you were or if you were ever coming back!”
“Okay, well I’m back now,” he snapped, “Stop making it a big deal,”
“Look I get it,” You shook your head, “You’re grieving. But you can’t just disappear-”
“I just lost my best friend!” JJ screamed, finally looking you in the eyes, tears threatening to spill.
“I lost my brother!” you choked out, “H-He was the only family I had left! And I know you’re hurting- believe me, I know. But I thought…” You took a shaky breath, tears falling as you spoke, “God, I thought I would always have you by my side,”
JJ just stared at you, “Y/N, I’m sorry,” He ran his hand through his blonde hair, “But I just can’t. I need space and time to think. I can’t be here,” He exasperated, looking around the Chateau, “Everything- All of this, it reminds me of him. Hell, I can’t even look at you right now,”
You know he didn’t mean to hurt you, but his words stung.
“You look just like him. I-I just can’t.”
Before you could say another word, JJ had left, slamming the front door behind him and leaving you once again, alone and crying.
•••
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Spiraling
Based On: Outer Banks
Characters: JJ x Reader
Warnings: Drug Use, Alcoholism, Langauge, Terrible Coping Mechansims, Death, Angst
Word Count: 500
Summary:Everyone copes in different ways, some are healthier than others. Unfortunately, JJ isn’t the best with dealing with the loss of a best friend.
A/N:not sure if im ready to start writing as much as i used to yet, but i was inspired and wrote this tonight, so enjoy.
i didnt proofread (sorry) so all mistakes are mine
You took a shaky breath, standing in front of the chateau. You’d been there hundreds of times, shared so many memories with your best friends, and come to love the house and the people inside as your own, but things were different now.
You shook your head at yourself, deciding it was better not to think about it and let yourself inside.
“JJ,” your voice called as you peered around the front room. You sighed, your mind trailing off to the many laughs you and your friends had experience under this roof, “J?” You repeated, stopping in front of the guest room JJ usually stayed in.
You softly tapped on the door, but received no reply. “JJ?” You let yoursef in to see the mess that JJ was living in.
Discarded beer bottles littered the room and the strong smell of weed seemed to be seeping from the walls. Blankets and dirty clothes were strewn across the room, and some of the pictures that had previously lined the walls had been ripped down by an angry force. But what really caught your eye were the small orange bottles lined up on the nightstand.
“Y/N?” JJ muttered, clearly out of it as he lifted his head up so he could get a better look at your figure in the doorway.
“The hell is that?” You snapped, startling him at your change of attitude as you walked over and snatched on of the bottles from the table, only to discover it was empty.
“God- Y/N, screw off!” JJ groaned, rolling his eyes as he rolled over so his back was facing you.
“You’re joking right JJ?” You glared daggers into his back as you spoke, “After everything, you do this?” You shook your head, eyes filling with tears, “JJ, you know what this shit can do! You’ve seen how it hurts people! How… how could you?” You seethed at the boy who was now sitting up slightly and looking at you with an emotionless expression. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you thought of what your dad had put you through with his addiction. JJ had seen firsthand how it broke you, and he had been there to pick up the pieces and put you back together. How could he do this knowing how much hurt it had caused you?
You gathered the rest of the bottles in your hands and stormed out of the room toward the bathroom.
“Y/N! Hey! Stop- What are you doing?”
You ignored JJ’s yells as you slammed all the bottles except one onto the sink. You held the one in your hand with and iron grip, anger and hurt coursing through your veins and you untwisted the cap and dumped the contents into the toilet.
“HEY!” JJ snapped from the bathroom’s doorway, “What the hell, Y/N?”
You grabbed another bottle, but this time JJ grabbed hold on your wrist, forcing you to face him, “Cut it out,” his voice was low and his eyes were wild as he eyed the pills in your hand.
“JJ, I can’t let you do this to yourself… JJ, you know what happened to my dad, I can’t let-”
“It’s not your job to take care of me, I can do that myself,” JJ spat, “And anyways, I’m fine-”
“You’re fine?” You mocked, “You’re popping pills and drinking instead of actually coping! Kie and I haven’t seen or heard from you in weeks-”
“Don’t come in here and act like you’ve got you’re shit together!” JJ cut you off, “You’re really gonna lecture me after you just dropped off the face of the Earth the second we heard about John B- did you ever think about us… about me? How maybe I needed you-”
“Oh,” you scoffed, “So you’re saying this is my fault? I needed a break and you fell apart because I wasn’t here to hold you together?” You laughed dryly, “We were all falling apart JJ- not just you. And last time I checked, none of us decided to give up and become alcoholics or drug addicts-”
“Screw you Y/N!” JJ screamed, your words clearly leaving a mark.
You wiped your tears and took a breath, “I love you JJ, I really do, and I want to help you, but this…” You shook your head, defeated, “I can’t help you when you refuse to help yourself,”
JJ opened his mouth to say something, but you didn’t give him the chance to speak.
You threw the orange bottle at his chest, “Keep you’re stupid pills. But when things get bad- and trust me, they will get bad, I can’t promise I’ll be here for you,” you turned back on him and left before more tears began to fall, feeling like you were about to loose another best friend.
Word Count: 641
Genre:Angst
Warnings: arguing, yelling, a bit of hitting
PART TWO
One bad day from the past can go to hell now if you Fuck up…
JJ and John B were walking back to the chateau from the beach “Fuck, I dont know why I did this” JJ complained “what?” John B asked “i never planned to be with Y/n” JJ admitted “then how did it happen” John B asked “you know that day when i got fired, then my dad- you know the rest… well I needed a distraction so i knocked up Y/n and she got attached” JJ said with a silence trailing behind his words. John B and him were walking through the porch of the chateau when he finally spoke “so all that was fake?” JJ beginning to feel more guilty nodded “well some of it, I don’t know man… it’s just i love her then i don’t know.” JJ said.
“What JJ” I said with my jaw clenched and tears starting to form “No Y/n, no” JJ said running to me reaching out a hand to comfort me. I didn’t flinch to shove him away. John B went back outside. “what the fuck JJ” I yelled “Y/n, no I love you” JJ said “no JJ it doesn’t fucking seem like that, especially when you fucking use me!” I yelled in disgust “I’m sorry I’ve been distant lately, everything is so shitty right now but at the end of the day I love you!” JJ said anxiously “Stop making excuses. you don’t love me JJ, you just want me by your side for show” I said shakily, warm tears streaming down my red cheeks. “I hope you got what you wanted JJ!” I yelled, I grabbed my phone and stormed out of the chateau. “You okay?” Kiara worried “I’m fine” i said angrily. JJ running after me, he got a hold of my wrist “get off of me” I yanked my arm away “why are you even chasing after me” “Please Y/n its not what it seems like just let me-” “you never loved me, you just- you just ruined everything” I said slamming my car door and driving away.
I got far enough from the chateau and had to pull over. “Why the fuck is he like this” I screamed. Completely broken, I was just sitting there in my car with my arms crossed over the steering wheel bawling into them. I’ve never loved anyone more, and to hear he barely loves me hurts like hell. “Fuuuck,” I whispered, starting my car again. I drove to my favourite place on the island, a tiny dock with the most beautiful views ever. Luckily I hadn’t told JJ about it yet. Once I got there I took off my shoes and dipped my toes in the water trying to forget about reality. I heard a stick being broken and the noise of footsteps crawling closer and closer… It was JJ, he was crying with one hand covering his eyes for a moment. I guess I wasn’t the only one who knew about this place. “Y/n” JJ’s hoarse voice said. I couldn’t turn around to answer, let alone acknowledge he existed right now. He stayed in his place leaning against a tree staring into nothingness, silently begging for me to say something.
“I’m sorry you have a shitty life JJ, but what you did was low, even for you” I said between breakdowns, my voice still shaking. “Don’t think I don’t love you” JJ said softly. I turned around to look at him “why’d you say that you didn’t to John B then?” There was a pause, JJ rubbed his eyes, they were still red from crying “I don’t know how” JJ said with a stutter “…how to?” i continued “to love you” JJ looked at me sorrowfully with his cerulean eyes.
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