Okay, so as the canon recedes from memory and fandom jokes take hold — la de da the world turns — I’ve seen an influx of takes that have steadily moved away from “Izzy’s tragic because this whole debacle is technically his fault (going after Stede’s hostages)” and “Izzy is sympathetic in part because he’s so bad at villain-ing” straight into serious claims of, “Wow, Izzy is just totally incompetent, huh?”
No, no, no, Izzy is terrifyinglycompetent.
We as a fandom need to remember our meta roots; one of the very first things ever acknowledged in the community: this is a character who has suddenly been thrust into a new genre.
For me, it’s basically the storytelling version of the “Who would win, Goku or Saitama?” question. The answer has nothing to do with power, skill, or competence and everything to do with what would be funny, because Saitama exists in a universe where, unless it’s more entertaining for him to lose, he automatically wins — always, forever, it’s the default state. That doesn’t make Goku, a guy with the power of the godsin his own universe, incompetent by any stretch of the imagination. It just means he’s suddenly been hog-tied by the rules of a new reality.
Oh yes I LOVE this. The Saitama comparison is gold. Izzy isn’t losing because he’s doing something wrong - he’s losing because 90% of the time Stede is directly channeling the power of comedy protagonists before him: Saitama, Bugs Bunny, etc. I did a breakdown of the duel scene for example, and if it had taken place in Black Sails or, hell, even Pirates of the Caribbean, Izzy would have gotten exactly what he wanted.
Two things though that I think make this somewhat more interesting:
1) I think Izzy does know he’s in a romcom. He’s almost, like, a clever spin of the Genre Blind / Wrong Genre Savvy trope, because after the genre shift he’s registering that this doesn’t make senseandthis isn’t how it used to be. He just doesn’t know what to do about that (the rough idea is kill Stede and go home). And he enjoyed how the world worked in the gritty pirate drama, so he consciously rejects trying to fit into the romcom rather than just not getting it. You can’t fight the genre if you can’t see the genre, and he’s absolutely fighting it (and its living proxy - Stede fucking Bonnet).
2) While Izzy is very competent in the gritty pirate drama - sword skills, excellent sailor, great grasp on what’s required to keep a ship running - I don’t think he quite has it all the “duck to water” way you describe. Specifically, I think Izzy has probably struggled his entire life with getting people to respect him.
I really got into it in this post, but short version is that Izzy is genuinely not very intimidating. He’s small, he dresses in a very tidy little goth business look, and his general demeanor is basically yell until things are done. Awesome sword skill can be intimidating but you can’t duel your allies / subordinates to the death every time they won’t listen to you.
And this makes him MORE attached to the gritty pirate world because he didn’t fit in naturally. He had to work for it. He had to carefully structure his whole life around making up for his personal weaknesses and he fucking succeeded!That’swhy his personality is built on it. He’s so deep in sunk cost with respect to Blackbeard (the Edward-Izzy shared fuckery) it’s literally insulting to his core to be stuck in a universe that is starting him over at square one (butt of jokes), only this time the end goal for the new rules system isn’t even something he wants.
Anyway, I am so fucking fascinated by this reality warp that Izzy is living in (and struggling with being the only person who can see it), and I so hope he gets to straddle or alternate genres rather than simply succumbing to the muppetverse. He can get character development without becoming a muppet if they aren’t cowards about it.
[kicks down your tumblr door] HI I LOVE THIS RESPONSE
Okay, putting more rambling below the cut because if I don’t talk about this more I’ll die. Probably. Maybe. Can’t risk it either way.
My friend, if you come bearing excellent Izzy Hands takes the tumblr door is open.
The real kicker of the end goal of the new rules system is that Stede would get Ed, all versions of him, and Izzy would be left with… what exactly? The general concept of a less harsh world is fine(ish); the specific circumstances of this situation are not.
THIS. “Hey, Izzy! Subscribe to the Stede Bonnet Co-Captaincy System! Perks include getting to live on the ship in a nebulous position of non-authority, being ignored by the man you love as he chases the high of a new and shiny boyfriend, a potentially amiable relationship with a crew you dislike (at least less laughing at you), and nearly endless vacation days (because you basically don’t have a job anymore). All it takes is admitting most of the pillars of your life don’t matter! Wait - no - where are you going?”
Like,we know that Stede’s way is offering healthy emotional outlets and open acceptance and affection, but as someone who personally doesn’t rate those things as top priorities, I’m looking at Izzy’s cost / benefit sheet like where’s the job satisfaction??? The positive attention and approval of his skills, not just his innate value as a human being? Sense of stability and accomplishment? Because I’m going to bet that the good times under Edward had a LOT of that. And Stede as of season 1 does not.
Fortunately I do think they’ve set season 2 up to be about Edward, and I think Edward’s journey has to involve reckoning with the fact that he is the guy behind Blackbeard and doesn’t really want to give up everything he enjoyed about being Blackbeard (which ought to send Izzy over the moon). Pure “Ed” with restaurateur dreams and talent shows and “Why are we even being pirates?” was just as fake as the Dread Pirate Blackbeard, Demon of the Seas. If Edward is going to find himself, it’s not going to be in a pure romcom (and thank fuck Stede’s arc is floating the idea of trying competent piracy too). Izzy is adaptable but he needs at least someincentive.
As for the other points, yes, 1000% Izzy got hit with the genre shift at the end of that duel. The Dracula Daily comparison is very accurate.
I don’t think Izzy is under any illusions he’s won against the genre yet - that smile at the end was not a man who believes what he’s saying - but at the start of the episode he thought he’d already lost Edward entirely so improvement! (Very poor improvement that kinda sucks so far, but maybe he can get somewhere with it given time.) Izzy’s face when he realizes Stede is still fighting too, though… It’s gonna be something.
And because it’s Stede he’s not going to roll over easy just for promises of maybe doing some stuff he likes too.
Izzy is the antagonist in this show because he won’t buy into Stede’s muppetverse / co-captaincy / growth mindset / etc. Which in large part is because he’s anxiety ridden and terrified of change and hostile to anything Stede specifically suggests, but also Stede’s sales pitch in Season 1 is garbage.
Stede is the rich guy who has never seen the inside of a real job or business school in his life, but he’s got it in his head that he can revolutionize workplace culture (read: piracy) with this new approach and he’s got the resources to throw at it so… why not? Like, this metaphor is in the show immediately. And the show tells you it works! Awkwardly, and with stumbles, but the Revenge crew are thriving as they embrace the new-and-improved system.
Only… the Revenge crew are, like, tutorial level difficulty.
Stede collected a diverse bunch of wayward souls with no other opportunities and no prior success or attachment to the previous system. They didn’t even sign onto his philosophy because they believed in it, they just didn’t read or didn’t take seriously the 20 page document outlining his leadership goals and methods when a decent salary and benefits was on the table. When he is serious about it, of course they adapt.
Edward, too, buys in, but not because he thinks Stede’s system works. He’s just at peak corporate burnout and he’s already got all the riches and celebrity he could possibly want. His face is on every business magazine. He doesn’t give a shit if Stede is a lunatic whose financials are a nightmare, because fucking around Stede’s startup attending Feelings Circles and playing table tennis by the complimentary bagel bar is a vacation.
But Izzy? Izzy is alreadythriving.
Sure he’s stressed, and things could be better, and Edward specifically is kind of a mess, but he’s got 20-30 years of massive career investment paying off. He’s got the corner office. The seven figure salary. A whole system of competent department heads who report to him. At least two personal assistants. A goddamn wall of meticulously framed performance rewards.
And Stede, without the slightest hint of irony, pitches him a low stress work environment with emphasis on the lifestyle benefits of mental and emotional health. A flat organizational structure (aka a massive demotion) and a general ban on formal performance metrics / disciplinary action in favor of group support systems tailored to each individual’s set goals. Reframe criticisms as suggestions and put them in the box, and we’ll discuss them in group after Tuesday’s afternoon yoga break!
No joke, I would have stabbed him too (even before he started trying to fuck the love of my life )
Not to start another fun exchange …
(Seriously though, this got way too long so literally no pressure to read or respond. I’m just vibing with all this excellent meta )
“Stede is the rich guy who has never seen the inside of a real job or business school in his life, but he’s got it in his head that he can revolutionize workplace culture (read: piracy) with this new approach and he’s got the resources to throw at it so… why not?”
A thousand times this. Okay yes, alongside the business metaphor that allows us to see one (1) reason why Izzy is #struggling (which boy do I relate to) and also alongside the inevitable class conflict the show has introduced, thisis why I absolutely love that Stede gave up his fortune at the end of season one. Because although the genuine love and support he’s shown his crew absolutely made a difference—seen in moments like them now willingly chanting that they “talk it through,” or, as I mentioned recently in another post, Lucius doing hard labor just to help Stede through a breakup—so much of Stede’s ability to implement those changes stems from the privilege of having wealth. How do you keep the crew around long enough to get them used to emotional benefits like bedtime stories and arts and crafts? You pay them a good wage, one that’s enticing enough to stave off mutiny before you prove your worth by implementing one aspect of the old business structure (supposedly stabbing Badminton through the eye). How do you entertain the legendary Blackbeard when you’re afraid he’s getting bored on your ship? Toss more money than Lucius has ever seen in his life at a woman for a fake treasure map. Even the stuff that Stede thinks is useful, but doesn’t actually work, is still based around his wealth. How do you navigate the intimidating Republic of Pirates? Dress better than everyone else around you to give yourself a confidence boost! Yes, a lot of Stede’s (relative) success is dependent on the rules of the genre—the ship’s bottom doesn’t rot through despite no one pulling barnacles off because that’s not a good rom-com plot point; Stede doesn’t get an infection from two stabbings because he’s the lead and that’s not very sexy—as well as others’ competence in the ‘workplace’ (Ed’s rescue), and Stede actually having good ideas about how to emotionally support others (scurvy is avoided by reacquainting Jim with their Nana)… but the rest is wealth.
Yet now that’s gone. Stede can’t pay his crew anymore, or show up in fine clothes, or throw money at a problem, or—crucially for their relationship—impress Ed with cashmere, libraries, and fancy trinkets, the things he was drawn to in the first place and evidence of Stede belonging to a world he longs for but thinks he can’t access. The combination of Stede formally leaving Mary and the Kraken tossing almost everything else overboard means that Stede still has his Big Ideas about how to improve piracy… but none of the leverage with which he was first able to convince others to go along with it. Sure, the crew + Ed love him now, but wealth helped get them interested in the first place/kept them around long enough for that love to flourish. What will Stede do with anyone new, or those like Izzy who haven’t already fallen into the Bonnet way of thinking?
Listen. Jemaine as a pirate who flirts with Stede and Stede doesn’t notice but Ed does and he’s SO upset about it the whole time like there will be a scene of Jemaine’s character flirting with Stede snd then it shows Ed in the back just FUMING staring at the two of them
Ok, I see the people calling for Hornigold!Jermain, and I raise: Bartholomew Roberts, the most successful pirate of the golden age of piracy with over 400 conquests to his name.
Consider this passage from “A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the most notorious Pyrates”:
“Roberts himself made a gallant figure, at the time of the engagement, being dressed in a rich crimson damask waistcoat and breeches, a red feather in his hat, a gold chain round his neck, with a diamond cross hanging to it, a sword in his hand, and two pairs of pistols slung over his shoulders”
Imagine it - dude swaggers in and is this Absolute Legend AND clearly fancies a fine fabric, and starts making googly eyes at Stede, who thinks this guy is just the capybara’s spats in a totally platonic, if slightly hero-worship-y, kind of way, and Ed is ABSOLUTELY IMPLODING with jealousy, but can’t say anything because he has NOT forgiven Stede yet, and they are not, technically, a couple.
Okay, but what about STEDE seeing this guy, and of course there’s the initial fan-boyish, hero-worshipping…only immediately being followed up by the thought of “He’s doing the Gentleman Pirate thing SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME. These are all the things about me that Ed likes…Ed’s going to like HIM BETTER THAN ME.” Then he’s floundering because Ed deserves to be happy, and if Roberts will make him happy, who is Stede to stand in the way? (hello lack of self-worth!) But also, Stede is TOTALLY going to stand in the way.
And basically they’re both gay panicking and trying to distract Roberts and drag him away to spend with them away from the other to keep the other from falling for Roberts’ ~charm.
ngl i’ve been having a good giggle over people being like, “guys, idk if i’m COMFORTABLE with the idea of a graphic blackbonnet sex scene in season two! ”
y'all nobody has onscreen sex on this show!
i guarantee you rhys darby and taika waititi are not getting out their respective dick n’ balls or explicitly simulating sex on camera for hbomax’s our flag means death lol.
at absolute MOST maybe a comedy butt like once. but even that i sincerely doubt.
there will be kisses of increasing passion, definitely some Sounds heard from elsewhere for the laffs, and post-coital snuggles, convos, and implications. and i feel like all of us, no matter where we fall on the horny spectrum, should embrace that.
it’s gon be good.
My vote is still for clever comedic visual innuendo. Like, they don’t need to get their kit off and push the rating to tell us exactly when and how they have sex the first time. Give me sausages and champagne bottles and innocently erect eggplants, cleverly placed cannons and one of them going over a barrel. Give me cheeky smash cuts between unrelated dialogue that tells everything you could possibly want to know about Ed and Stede’s sex life without ever breaking a sweat.
![[tender, emotional music playing]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c7a96ae98a0a47f590d6bcb88be742cb/f54ec9b631539052-1f/s30x30u_c1/9ab4887fc2c7044aded225f247b2cfdb9a59cda1.png){kind=small}
