#ok but what about gender-solid and gender-gas

long story short; hi, im genderfluid.

i go both by Ester (feminine), and Alister (masculine). i use she/her and he/him. im not sure how i feel about they/them quite yet, but any pronoun is OK!! 

sometimes i wear a binder, sometimes i wear a bra. sometimes i present feminine, sometimes masculine. sometimes i wish my hair was long again, sometimes im SO glad it’s short now. 

this has been a long time coming… ive considered for years and years that the gender assigned to me at birth didnt quite fit me, except – sometimes i love being feminine, wearing makeup and dresses, being pretty, being called ‘she’… all the supposedly “cis” things, you know? aaaand sometimes i just want to yeet my tits out the window!! 

unfortunately, i also have a history of self-doubt and denial, but 2020 has been a year of discovering myself… and id been putting the “gender thing” aside and purposefully ignoring it for way too long. ive put off experimenting with presentation and identity, yet longed for it the whole time. 

but i dont want to ignore or stifle this part of myself anymore…. so, hello again! my name is Ester and/or Alister, and im genderfluid.

thank you for reading, love yourself, believe yourself. <3

itty bitty update: i just go by Alister/Al (he/they) as my online presence now