Dad’s on the Edge: A Bad Romance One-Shot

Series:Bad Romance

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: Riley x Liam, Liam x Max, Riley x Max, Riley x Drake, Riley x Rashad

Paring this chapter: None, this all the guys dealing with the children.

Rating: R

Warnings for this chapter: Language

Word Count: 3,784

A/N: This is my offering for @txemrnfather’s day fic idea! Can you imagine all the Bad Romance guys trying to wrangle kids that have BR Riley’s DNA? You don’t have to imagine it….here it is, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

A/N2: Habibti means sweetheart in Arabic

A/N3: Ellie (Eleanor) and Xander (Alexander) are Liam’s. Jax (Jaxon) is Drake’s, Jace (Jason) is Max’s and Charli (Charlotte) paternity is unknown.

My other stuff: Master List.

“Why am I here, again?” Rashad asked with a slight frown. When Liam had asked him to attend the public celebration of the queen mother’s years of service to Cordonia as she prepared for her retirement, he had assumed it was in his capacity as Riley’s lawyer or as a member of the Cordonian court and Liam’s inner circle. Not as a babysitter.

“Because Riley is quarantined with the flu, and we needed backup. You are their godfather.” Liam stated matter of factly.

“Yes.” Rashad responded carefully, “But I’m not the only one. Leo is too, and he has more experience with-”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, but Leo isn’t sleeping with my wife.”

“Touché.” Rashad held his hands up to indicate surrender, “But they have godmothers. What about Hana or Olivia?”

“Hana is also down with the flu.” Liam replied.

“And Olivia?”

Liam waved his hand dismissively in the general direction of where Oliva was seated, “Oh, feel free to tell Olivia she’s more suited for this because she’s a woman.”

Rashad’s eyes went wide as they flicked to Olivia and back, then he cleared his throat, “So, what do you need me to do, exactly?”

“You’re just going to help us corral the kids during the ceremony. Here they come now.”

Rashad watched apprehensively as Drake made his way over to them with a diaper bag slung over his shoulder, Jax and Jace in tow, both trying to wriggle free as he gripped a small hand in each of his own. Max followed carrying a squirming, two year old Charlotte. Xander and Ellie trailed behind, bringing up the rear.

“You’re going to be in charge of Charlotte.” Liam informed him.

“Me? Why me? I think I’d be better suited to watch over Ellie or Xander!” Rashad protested.

“Of course, you think that.” Drake smirked at him, “They’re the easy ones!”

At 12 and 9 Ellie and Xander had more maturity and more experience with these types of events and were, indeed, easier to contend with during one. Usually.

The younger boys, Jax 6, and Jace 4, were more rambunctious and much harder to convince to sit still for any length of time. Then there was Charlotte, who had whole heartedly embraced the entire tenor of the terrible twos. High spirited was the term Riley used for her.

“Not gonna lie, Charli scares me a little. One time I woke up and found her standing next to the bed just staring at me like she was in a trance.” Max shuddered.

Drake rolled his eyes, “You know she was sleepwalking, right Beaumont?”

Max ignored Drake and leaned closer to Rashad, “Did you know Riley originally wanted seven to nine children?”

Rashad blinked, “What?”

Max nodded somberly, “Charli is the reason she tied her tubes after five.”

Rashad’s eyes shot to the small child in Max’s arms, her angelic face arranged in the most brilliant innocent smile he’d ever seen. No, that wasn’t true. He’d seen that exact smile on Riley’s face. Innocent and brilliant was her most disingenuous and potentially dangerous smile. He swallowed, hard, his mouth suddenly dry.

“We can do this, guys!” Liam asserted, he ran an entire country for God’s sakes, how hard could it be to wrangle his own children for one event? “I mean Riley does it all the time, she handles all five of them by herself at these things and they behave perfectly.”

“Yeah.” Drake responded drily, “Because they know better than to cross their mother. But they know some of us are pushovers.” He looked right at Max when he said it.

“Hey! I am not a- “

Liam gave him a look, “You let them eat flaming hot Cheetos for breakfast last week.”

Drake asked, “Why do we have a water slide in our backyard at Valtoria?”

Even Rashad joined in, “I believe I was called in last month to coordinate appraisals of a fleet of BMWs after an art project gone awry….”

Max huffed, “Ok, you know what? I believe in letting children express themselves, ok? They need to know it’s ok to be themselves-“

“Sure, Max,” Drake interrupted as he put the diaper bag down, then turned to address his question to Liam, “How are we going to divide five kids between four adults?”

“That’s easy.” Liam replied, “Ellie and Xander go together because they’re the easiest.”

“I’ll take Jace.” Max volunteered.

“No!” Liam and Drake both shouted at the same time.

Max looked at them in confusion, “Why not?”

“Because you don’t reign in his worst impulses, you tend to encourage them.” Liam said. Drake nodded in agreement.

“Jace needs a firmer touch. Here.” He pulled Jace over to Drake, “Max, you take Jax. Ellie and Xander can come with me.”

Backpacks, water bottles, jackets, toys that they had been told to leave home but had been brought anyway and various electronic devices were shuffled around so the appropriate adult had possession of the items belonging to the children in their care.

“Ahem.” Rashad interrupted the activity, directing his question to Liam, he asked again, “Why do I have to take the little one?”

“Because” Liam stepped closer, leaning in so they wouldn’t be overheard, “She might be yours. Look at it as a bonding opportunity.”

“Mine?” He asked in astonishment, “No, I mean….”

“Look at her features, Rashad. Those eyes…”           

“Green, like her mother’s!”

“Hazel, there’s brown around her irises.”

“That might rule out Max, but not Drake, that’s still three potential-“

“She has Riley’s features, but our coloring, mine and yours. There’s brown in her eyes and black in her hair. Not to mention, Charli can be a very serious, calculating child. She’s extremely intelligent and studious, already at two. I love them both, but there’s no way she has Drake or Max’s DNA.”

Rashad and Liam both tilted their heads as they studied the curly headed quiet child in front of them.

She was the spitting image of Riley, but her hair had undeniably darkened as she had gotten older, trending now more toward the ebony hues of both Liam and Rashad than the russet brown of Max’s or the even lighter chestnut shade of Drake’s hair.  She had Riley’s curls and the auburn was in there, streaking the black with brilliant shades of red when the sunlight hit it just right. Her nose, her lips, her chin, all her mother’s.

The seriousness and intelligence might come from one of them, but her intensity and temper was all Riley. Which was why none of the other men wanted to deal with her during a long, boring proceeding. A bored Charlotte was a dangerous Charlotte. She was Riley, with a two year old temper and lack of impulse control.

“Here.” Max thrust Charlotte into Rashad’s arms before he could protest again.

Drake tossed him the diaper bag, “Good luck.”

“Ah…..” He looked wildly around at the other three men, but they had all turned their backs to him, dealing with their own charges.

“Ok.” Liam breathed out a sigh of relief, sure that they had this under control, “Xander, Ellie, come with me.”

Rashad’s head snapped up in panic, “Wait, you’re leaving?”

Liam shrugged, “Sorry but, you know, I’m the king and this is a state event. Responsibilities and all that. I have to go give a speech. Ellie, Xander, let’s go.”

“It’ll be fine,” Max assured him, “Liam gives a speech, Leo gives a speech, a bunch of other people give speeches, we all applaud and then there’s a parade or something.”

“That sounds horribly boring for young children.” Rashad responded doubtfully.

“Oh, it is.” Drake laughed at him, “Why do you think I said good luck?”

Max and Drake situated themselves between the boys, so there were two adults between them. Drake turned his attention to opening a pack of goldfish crackers for Jace as Max pulled out his cell phone and stared trading Pokémon with Jax. Rashad turned his head to peer into Charli’s eyes. She was adorable. He decided that it couldn’t be that bad. She was only two after all.

As he stared down into her bright, sparkling eyes, he felt a twist in his chest. What if she was his? The idea of this beautiful child being part him and part Riley wasn’t the worst feeling in the world. He’d never wanted fatherhood, and his lifestyle and work schedule wouldn’t permit it even if he had. But then, no one was asking to him to fill that role. Regardless of DNA, Charlotte had a father. She had three, actually.

It wasn’t surprising to him that Max was a good father, he had a nurturing side to him that Rashad assumed was critical for parenting, as well as having managed to maintain a playfulness that endeared him to children.

And Liam, of course Liam was a good father. His love for all five of the children was evident in all his interactions with them and in the unmistakable pride in his voice when he spoke about any of them.

Most surprising, to Rashad at least, was Drake. Rashad didn’t dislike him, precisely, they’d been friends since their teenage years, but that was more a function of them both being friends with Liam rather than any real connection between them. They were too different. It was more that Rashad had never understood what Riley saw in him. He understood why she was in love with Liam. Or maybe that was a function of conceit since he considered Liam and himself to be very similar in many ways. And while Max could be exuberant and irreverent at times, those things were also true of Riley, and he could also be respectful and decorous when the situation called for it.

But Drake was pure force of will, often getting his way through brute force and intimidation. He lacked subtlety and finesse. Which is why it was so surprising to Rashad that Drake was possibly the most competent of the three when it came to parenting. Though perhaps those qualities were precisely what made him good at parenting. Rashad considered that as he watched Charlotte’s face slowly collapse into a scowl. “Oh no…. what’s wrong, Charli?” He tried for a soothing tone.

Her face reddened and her brows drew together as she leveled the full force of her two year old fury at him, “Want Mommy!”

“Mommy’s home sick, Habibti, remember?” He patted her back and rocked her gently as he’d seen Riley do many times.

Her face got even darker, “Want. Mommy!Now!”

“Listen sweet baby girl, what if I get you a snack?” He said cajolingly as he dug through the diaper bag with his free hand.

“No snack!” She started to wail.

“Ooooh, look! How about some cheerios?” He offered.

“No snack!” She struck his hand, sending cereal pieces flying everywhere, “Want mommy!”

“Charli, please, we don’t scream in public-“

“M-m-mo-moooooooommmmmiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!” Big, fat tears slipped down her face as the wailing increased in volume and pitch.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no!” He began to jiggle her faster, “Shhh-shhh-shhh, it’s ok, it’s ok.”

“NO!”She screamed as she pulled a chubby little hand back and smacked him in the face as she kicked him then went rigid in his arms and slid right through them onto the ground.

Rashad scooped the truculent toddler into his arms, kicking and wailing and hissed at the other two men, “Let’s trade!”

“With who?” Drake demanded.                        

“Both! I’ll take both the boys and the two of you can take Charlotte. That’s two adults to one child, this is a deal you should take.” Both boys were sitting quietly, Jace kicking his little legs out in front of him as he consumed his weight in goldfish crackers and gummy bears, Jax completely absorbed in a video game.

Max protested, “I don’t know…Liam said-“

Drake tried to explain, “They seem easy because we have them separated; I don’t think you appreciate-“

“No, I don’t think you appreciate how little I understand toddlers! Please!” Rashad shoved Charli into Drake’s arms and motioned for Jace to follow him.

Jace shot a questioning look at Drake, who was trying to soothe Charli. When Drake shrugged, Jace followed Rashad back to his seat asking, “Do you have any snacks? What about a juice box? Are you coming to the palace later? Daddy says they’ll have baklava at the party tonight and that we have to be good because this boring speech thing is for grandma and Ellie says I talk too much, but I don’t think I do. I talk the normal amount, Jax is the one that talks a lot. How long are you staying this time? We’re not in trouble again, are we? The thing with the cars wasn’t our fault, Xander said-“

Rashad gritted his teeth and tuned out the barrage of questions as he settled back into his seat and tried to focus his attention back on the speeches. Liam was at the podium. Ellie and Xander were standing on the stage behind him with Leo, some members of the royal council, Leo’s oldest son, a few visiting dignitaries and the queen mothers long time personal assistant standing behind him. Regina was in a private box looking out over the stadium where the event was being held.

As Liam shuffled the notecards, laughter rippled through the crowd. He looked up and out over the audience in confusion. The laughter got louder. His face paled. He whipped his head around to look behind him.

“Eleanor! What are you doing?” Then cursed himself because it was caught on mic.

She froze before responding with, “Uh…dabbing.” With a tone that clearly implied he was an idiot for not knowing that.

“Well, please stop.”

“Yeah, please stop.” Xander shoved her in the side.

There was some more laughter in the crowd and a few appalled gasps.

“Hey! You little shit!” Ellie elbowed him, hard.

This time the appalled gasps and the laughter were louder. Leo moved over to place himself between the two, effectively forcing a détente. Liam gave him a grateful smile before apologizing to the crowd and continuing with his speech.

In the crowd, Rashad whispered, “I thought they were the easy ones?”

Drake gave Rashad a conspiratorial smile as he tried to snuggle a wriggling, fussing, climbing on him like he was a jungle gym Charli, “Usually. Looks like Liam’s not getting off as easy as he thought he was. Ellie is a firecracker and Xander is just usually sneakier than the other two boys. When Jax and Jace get caught doing something they’re not supposed to be doing, Xander is almost guaranteed to be the one that put them up to it, he just retreats before suffering the consequences. But if anyone can bring out his inner demon, it’s Ellie.”

Rashad marveled at the way Drake carried on a conversation as if a rabid toddler weren’t using him as an obstacle course, while continuing to keep said toddler on his person despite her obvious attempts to be put down so she could run amuck. He was so busy being intrigued by it that he completely missed what was going on with the children he was supposed to be watching, as a quiet tussle over the video game started behind him.

Max snickered as he leaned toward Drake, “Remember the time she tricked him into cussing by insisting that a cat is called a putty tat, like tweety bird says?”

They had gone back and forth with the putty tat, pussy cat argument until Ellie had finally raised her voice and yelled, “Putty”, causing Xander to shout out, “Pussy!”

“Yeah.” Drake chuckled softly, “Poor kid. The look on Riley’s face when Regina heard that!”

Drake’s focus was on Charli who had placed a foot on his shoulder and attempted to launch herself into the row behind them when Rashad’s voice pulled his attention as he whisper screamed, “Jace! Jax! Get back here right now!”

It was too late, both boys were off and running down the aisle, Jace gleefully screeching with laughter as he ran away with his brother’s Nintendo Switch, Jax in hot pursuit, murder in his eyes.

“Fuck!” Drake swore, shoving Charlotte into Max’s arms. As he passed a distraught Rashad he muttered, “You’re fucking useless.”

The boys were running up the stadium steps as Drake raced after them. He caught up just as Jax tackled Jace to the ground. A scuffle ensured as they fought for possession of the Switch. Drake picked Jax up and lifted him easily with one arm while glancing down at Jace, holding his other hand out, “You ok, kiddo?”

Jace took Drake’s hand as he scrambled up, “Jax hit me!”

“Uh huh. And what have we said about taking other people’s stuff?”

Jace crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. Drake sat Jax on the ground and knelt down in front of him, “I know he took your game, but you know that hitting is not ok, right? Remember your conflict resolution lessons?”

The lessons had been Liam’s idea, Drake had scoffed at it, but he couldn’t deny that it had helped. Too bad it hadn’t helped today specifically. Drake presided over the exchange of the game and apologies. As they headed back down the aisle, a woman smiled at him, “Good parenting skills.”

Jax looked up at her, eyes going directly to her very pregnant belly. “You’re pregnant!” He informed her.

“Yes.” She smiled at him as she lovingly cradled her bump.

“I know how that happens. The daddy puts his peanut in the mommy’s kerchina and then-“

The lady’s face went red as Drake’s hand clamped down over his son’s mouth. “Sorry.” He muttered as he ushed the boys back to their seats. He settled them back in their original seats as he told Rashad, “I told you they have to be kept separated at these things.”

“Tata, who’s that?” Jace’s voice was unnecessarily loud.

Drake’s head spun to look in the direction Jace was pointing, and staring, mouth opened at the jumbotron. Drake answered him, “Uh….that’s the pope. He couldn’t make it in person, so they are having him video call in to give his regards to grandma.”

“No. They guy behind him!”

Drake’s brow furrowed for a moment because there was no one behind him. Then understanding dawned on him as he noticed the huge crucifix with the image of Jesus with the crown of thorns hanging on it. “Oh. That’s Jesus.”

Unfortunately, there was a pause while the pope gathered his thoughts, so Jace’s voice carried clearly over the hushed crowd as he loudly exclaimed, in horror, “JESUS IS DEAD?!”

“Uh….Max?” Drake turned to Max in panic as Jace started to cry, loudly.

“On it!” Max traded seats with Drake, passing a squirming, whining Charli back to him in the process.

Max tried to soothe him, “Hey buddy. It’s ok, that’s not real, it’s a plastic statue.”

“So they can make Jesus look fakedead?”

“Yeah, yeah, exactly.” Max nodded, feeling pleased he’d explained it so well.

Jace’s face crumbled again, “Why would they do that?”

Drake’s attention was drawn away from Max and Jace as Charli slipped from his grasp and crawled under the seats. Drake had to get on his hands and knees to reach her. He reached under the seats then cussed softly through clenched teeth as he jerked his hand back when she bit into it, her teeth digging into the tender area between his thumb and index finger.

Drake crawled around on the ground trying to reach Charli as Max continued to try calm down a very distraught Jace. When he finally managed to pull her out, he handed her back to Rashad, “You’re turn.”

Rashad looked up in surprise as Charli crashed down into his lap. “Oh..uh…hello again.”

She glared at him, “Want down!”

“How about a new toy?” He asked in desperation.

She stopped fighting and cocked her head curiously, “What toy?”

He dug around in his pockets and came up a keychain made from a heavy medallion. It was silver and green with a crescent moon and star on it. Rashad did not consider himself to be a religious man, but his grandmother had given it to him as a symbol of the faith she devoutly believed in, and he had kept it because it reminded him of her. He detached the medallion and held it out to Charli.

Her eyes widened in delight as he offered it to her, “Oooh, pretty!”

Rashad sighed in relief as she took it and settled into his lap, then anxiety surged through him again as she shoved it directly into her mouth. “No, no! You can’t swallow that, you’ll choke!”

Drake was about to offer Rashad some advice when Jax tapped him on the arm. He looked down and asked, “Yeah, buddy?”

“I have to pee.”

“Can it wait?”

“No.”

“Shit.”

“Mommy said you’re not supposed to say shit in front of us.”

“Oh, fuck me.” Drake mumbled.

“You’re not supposed to say fuck either.”

“Oh for the love of- You know what? Come on, all of you, it’s time for a break anyway.”

Drake stood and took Jax by the hand, Max followed behind him with Jace. “You coming?” He asked Rashad.

“No, I…I think I’m good.” Rashad replied.

Drake shrugged, “Suit yourself.”

“Grandma’s really old, isn’t she?” Jax asked as they stepped out into the aisle, “Is she going to die soon?”

Drake sighed as he guided him up the aisle, “We really need to have a talk about what is and isn’t an appropriate question.”

“He’s not wrong, Drake.”

“Really, Max?”

Rashad settled back into his seat after having shifted a little to let the others out, his arms tightening around Charli to keep from disturbing her. She had finally settled and was rubbing her eyes sleepily. She mumbled something as she rubbed her face against his chest. It sounded like shod. “What, habibti?” He asked.

She lifted her face and gazed up at him with heavy lids, her little hand coming up to pat his check softly, “You. ‘Shad.”

He jolted in surprise; she was trying to say his name. “Yes, I’m Rashad. And you’re Charli.”

She smiled at him sweetly, “Luf ou, ‘shad.” She mumbled before dropping her head back onto his shoulder and falling asleep.

He felt his heart melt into a molten puddle inside his chest as he gripped her closer. Her breathing became even and deep, her back rising and falling evenly under his hands. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her sweet baby smell and whispered, “I love you too, habibti.”