#please do not reblog
❝ []has no leisure to attend to little things. ❞
♡ — recent works! ::
♡ — juju is… ::
a member of… @noir-magazine
listening to… crazy tings by tems.
watching… saiki k!
reading… jjk…finally.
simping for… huening bahiyyih <3!
♡ — other things! ::
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© yuzuhablvd 2022.
Hi there,
I don´t know if any of you have noticed the lack of update in my blog in these past months, it has been a really hard time for me since November last year.
I am going through a few things since then, personal and mental issues, but actually it started a lot earlier, however I always managed to make it work, untill I couldn´t anymore and now I´m here, totally done and trying to get up on my feet.
I´m struggling to find any peace in all the chaos I have inside me, it´s really complicated, there are days I feel I can deal with everything, one step at the time and maybe eventually I´ll make it, but there are other days I feel I´m not strong enough and it´s very hard to even get up in the mornings.
I´ve been on tumblr since 2012 I think, I´m crying right now while I´m writting this, because it´s hard to open my heart like this, and say goodbye, I always came here when I needed to scape, this was my happy place, but right now I´m gonna press the pause botton, cause I can´t find hapiness in anything.
I have no idea if I´ll be coming back or when, I just know I´m not ready to delete my blog, but I´m taking a break from everything.
I want to say a big thank you to eveybody that talked to me all these years, the people who supported and reblog my gifs and stuff, and all the great people I have meet in here, I feel very grateful for all the moments some of you gave me and all the things we share.
Hope to see you soon and take care everybody, love you all.
Hello everyone! Fun tip for if your feeling down or need to get pumped for something. Listen to The Coolest Girl Homecoming Version and sing along. It totally makes me feel better on the way to work everyday. ❤️
PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG.
I have a fun story for you all. My Mom and I were discussing a Harry Potter purse I wanted that had the Deathly Hallow and wildflowers on it. She told me it might not be something I should buy because people who don’t know it is Harry Potter will think I’m worshiping Satan.
Brian Holden’s face popped into my head automatically.
PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG
1. confrontation / social situations where i think someone might not like me or might have a “valid” reason to dislike me make me very stressed, and i’m not sure what there is to do about this realisation. i can’t change the way others perceive me but i can change the way i present myself; but i am sick of making myself smaller, sick of clarifying, sick of laying down and inviting you to trod over me, sick of worrying. i am tired of saying i want to be liked like a pathetic fool, and then for someone to ask me then what i have been doing to make myself likeable. suggestions as to how i can be a more palatable version of myself. you might as well ask what i have done to make myself unlikeable? be myself? i want to be myself with someone and not regret it. i want to go back to therapy but stop worrying about getting a bad grade in therapy.
2. we were talking about ways to kill ourselves the other day, which naturally meant that we were talking about burn out. she said when she took time off it was nice to be human again, rather than a doctor. i think i prefer to be a doctor; at least i’m useful.
3. i am tired of feeling othered in my own home, of feeling outnumbered in my own space. i am tired of white culture being default culture, of your ideas on politeness and conflict resolution to be the accepted norm. if it is a question you wouldn’t ask a white person, don’t ask a poc. certainly not when you are the guest in their home. i don’t give a fuck how “well-traveled” you are, how “well-meaning” you are. do better.
the urge to change an entire scene in a fanfic bc of reading someone else’s more accurate opinion on what the character would do in that situation
@montparnassee is watching a live sport match with a few of our friends and I am assuming it’s going well as I can hear yelling from the front room….I am currently in the study watching ASMR videos as I had a bad work day today and need to spend some time recharging. Our friends are so lovely by giving me that space and supplying biscuits
