#queue are amazing

traumasurvivors:

Maybe this is a controversial take, but I don’t think we should be telling survivors about the “benefits” of their trauma. I don’t think they should be told that “at least your trauma made you kind,” or that it “built character.” 

My trauma didn’t make me kind. My trauma didn’t build my character. I made me kind. I built my character. I made myself who I am today. 

I think what we should be telling survivors is that they didn’t deserve what happened to them and it should have never happened. You’d be amazed at what validating someone’s experiences can do for them. 

I just want to remind you all that consensual sex can be traumatic and/or upsetting. Consensual sex isn’t always great. Or sometimes it may seem great in the moment and then feel upsetting later. I just want you to know that you’re valid and your trauma is valid. 

You are so much more than the abuse they’ve put you through. You are so much more than the shame they made you feel. You are so much more than the grief, sadness, anger and pain.

Even if these things have impacted you greatly, you are not broken. Your value and worth are never diminished. 

You are deserving of love, compassion and healing. 

You deserve to be loved.

You deserve to be shown love.

You deserve to be told “I’m proud of you”.

You deserve to be given support.

You deserve compassion.

You deserve so many good things and I’m so sorry to all of you who didn’t get these things in their childhood and/or don’t get them enough now.

It’s okay to fall apart. It’s okay to want to give up. It’s okay to feel like you are back at square one. 

Healing is a messy process and it does not operate in a linear fashion. 

Please keep trying. You’ll get there.

I promise that a beautiful and happy life is still obtainable for you, no matter how much of it you lost because of your trauma. It’s not fair that you lost so much of it due to trauma. And you deserved so much better. But you can still make a beautiful and happy life for yourself. 

You are always worthy. 

Even when you struggle. Even if you relapse. Even if you fall backwards. Even if you actively sabotage things for yourself. 

Your worth never changes. 

Healing is not a race. It’s okay to go at your own pace. 

Online abuse, bullying and harassment are just as valid and real as these things happening in person. Something happening online does not mean it can’t be traumatic and if your trauma comes from something online, you are completely valid. 

You are not magically valuable and worthy when you heal. You are valuable and worthy now, as you are, wherever you are in your healing journey. 

This is a shoutout to survivors who feel like their abuse wasn’t “bad enough”. Your feelings are valid and the truth is, you should have never been abused at all. 

This is a shoutout to all the survivors in the trauma community who sometimes (maybe all the time) feel like they don’t belong. You do belong, regardless of what your trauma is. There is no hierarchy of trauma, or trauma that is more or less valid than others. I promise you that you belong. 

nombre-appelido:

wholeheartedsuggestions:

i sometimes forget there aren’t official rules for what you have to know as an adult. don’t need to read the latest ny times bestseller, don’t need to know the differences between wines, don’t need to have seen all the cult classic movies, don’t need to have endless crazy fun college stories. i know not everyone feels this pressure, but as i’m getting older, sometimes it feels like i have to fake knowing certain experiences. and i really don’t.

this is a very strange experience !! a relative asked my older brother what he thought of the difference between like. an IPA or a draft beer and he was like “literally what the hell are you talking about?” and the relative sort of just. stopped. like since my brother is a mid-twenties man he’s automatically expected to know and care about beers or whatever, and when he didn’t, my relative just stopped in their tracks like my brother missed his line or something. it is all so fabricated there’s no Universal Adult Knowledge at all

compassionatereminders:

• The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
• The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
• The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
• The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
• The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
• The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
• The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
• The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
• The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
• The “put on a persona” method.
• The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
• The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
• The “wait for a trigger” method.
• The “do it for your future self” method.
• The “might as well” method.
• The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
• The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
• The “make it easy” method.
• The “junebugging” method.
• The “just show up” method.
• The “accept when you need help” method.
• The “make it into a game” method.
• The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
• The “trick yourself” method.
• The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
• The “let go of should” method.
• The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
• The “fork theory” method.
• The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

compassionatereminders:

You’re not a bad person just because you did a bad thing - and you gotta learn to separate the two. Self hatred never helped anyone grow and learn, because you can only do better if you allow yourself to believe you can improve. That’s why you gotta be careful not to label yourself as someone who is inherently terrible. You aren’t terrible. You did something bad, and now you can do better. Focus on that part.