#trauma survivors
There are things I can’t bring myself to say out loud, because I know my abusers wouldn’t like it. I can’t say I’m proud of myself, or that they abused me, for example. Even if they are miles away, in a whole other city, and there is absolutely no chance they’ll find out about it, that fear still follows me and I can’t say it. And I think that’s really fucking unfair.
Maybe this is a controversial take, but I don’t think we should be telling survivors about the “benefits” of their trauma. I don’t think they should be told that “at least your trauma made you kind,” or that it “built character.”
My trauma didn’t make me kind. My trauma didn’t build my character. I made me kind. I built my character. I made myself who I am today.
I think what we should be telling survivors is that they didn’t deserve what happened to them and it should have never happened. You’d be amazed at what validating someone’s experiences can do for them.
trigger jokes are so cheap. today i said “ew” at a banana on the ground and some annoying girl in our friend group who was standing like 10 meters away was immediately like “TRIGGERED!!!”. my friend and i stared at her. she stared back. this went on for maybe a solid thirty seconds. no one said anything & it was really viscerally unenjoyable for everyone involved
It basically adds up to “wanna hear a punchline? Trauma survivors! Get it? Trauma survivors!”
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdZM-l8DrKv/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
I sat in shit for 15 years. It started smelling way before then, but way shackled.
Alhammdulillah it ended before I was labeled “crazy.” He was already starting the campaign, but thankfully his crazy was on full display.
People who use dating apps to make business connections are weird.
Who killed Mohamed Al Dorra’s son and Shireen Abu Akleh?
Perhaps I was never meant to find my great love. That makes me incredibly sad.
I’ve been paying my Zakat in smaller increments since it would be too difficult to pay a large lump sum. Giving is a time to reflect on all that I have and how grateful I am. I have wondeful sons that are the light of my life. I have a beautiful, new home. I just added my landscaping two days ago and it’s even more beautiful that could have ever imagined. I have a wonderful, fulfilling career. Amazing friends that are supportive. Alhammdulillah.
There are several charities I give to, but my favorite are ones help women and children in my local community. Both of these places offer Muslim women and their children transitional housing, job training, and basic needs until they can get on their feet. I love that. ❤️
Last ten days. Keep giving!
I can only marry a person who is my sanctuary and keeps my home a sanctuary.
Muslim doods always remember the “Islam allows 4 wives” rule, but never how to treat women with dignty, love, compassion, and righteousness.
Met a POS on a Muslim dating app and he initially seemed interesting until he told me he was married, but unhappy. The unhappy part means nothing to me. He’s married so I said I wasn’t interested.
Dood freaked out and started sending me crazy texts messages about how it was his right to marry 4 women. I told it was his right, but I didn’t have to agree with it. I’m simply not interested. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and started texting swears and saying he would never marry me. It was nuts. I only spoke to the guy once.
I blocked him, but the incident was really bothersome. Idk where these doods get the entitlement from. You can force people to do your bidding. Go marry your 4 wives. Leave me out of it.
It’s been almost 5 years and I still have so much anxiety when the Asshole sends me a message on OFW.
I hate this, but my anxiety gets so bad that I need someone to sit with me while I check the fucking message. That someone has been my older son lately. He’s my rock. He always agrees because he’s a gem, but I wish he didn’t have to.
To make a little extra money (and to get out of the house) I’ve been working in the weekends as a canvasser (just this Summer). I only had my home for a short time before everyone started getting in my space. It’s frustrating because I’m an introvert and need a lot of time to myself. My parents are also becoming weirdly needy. They do help out, but I’m tired and need my home. Their closing is in a few months and I’m looking forward to it.
Having my parents in my home means I have very little personal time and am always being monitored. Even phone calls from anyone result in interrogation. It’s just too much. Me spending my money always results in “advice.” My dad goes through my groceries and question every purchase. “Why don’t you need two jars of spaghetti sauce? Why did you buy salad? Are you sure your going to eat this?”
Blech. Why does he even care?
I took everyone out to dinner and on cue my dad (another version of an asshole) made a fat comment about me and my older son. They are incredibly ungrateful and rude. I don’t like having people over because they act like loons and I don’t want to deal with the embarrassment.
I also think they are fearful I’ll meet someone and get busy with my life. It doesn’t benefit them for me to be married and happy. Same for my brother. Meeting someone needs to he organic for me so while I would like them to help…I also recognize they are useless in this matter.
I’m also feeling remnants of grief of a life that never was. I was canvassing at a local farmers market and just seeing all the families with young children enjoying the weather and spending time together got me a bit depressed. The Ex was never a family oriented person. Constant control and manipulation was his vibe.
I look at those families with such longing and and sadness. It was getting almost unbearable…so I asked for a new location today. It’s better. The space is more diverse and I have a shady spot to sit in.
I just feel like my kids and I were robbed. My boys don’t ever talk about it, but I feel it some days.
she is trying to heal insta- @ thejournalingrat
Reasons it’s okay for someone to abuse you:
- None. Literally none.
It doesn’t matter if you were in trouble, or they were having a bad day. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes in the past or feel you deserve it.
There is no justification for someone abusing you. You deserved better. And it was wrong.
