#quote starter

All of these lines are from the Youtube web series Most Popular Girls In School (channel is linked in title). 

Warning may contains lots of sexual, crude, and all around inappropriate language.

“Stop trying to force your Full House references on us.”
“You are not going to suck any of our dicks today, and you’re not going to play with any of our butt holes either.”
“Are you trying to infer that because you’re willing to do stuff to our butts, it proves  that you’re more of a man than us?”
“Don’t be a dick, bro.”
“Ah oui, I will take a toasted baguette with a selection of foie grais and a Perrier please.’
“Hey [ name ], still giving people diarrhea for a living?”
 “Jesus Christ, is a that a fucking gremlin?”
“Um excuse me, I will cut a bitch if there is lice somewhere in my chili.”
“Is this going to go on much longer? Because I have a basket of jalapeno poppers that are getting cold.”
“You are totes creep.”
“I had to break up with my boyfriend today. Because he likes fucking Gossip Girl more than Glee.”
“What the fuck is that suppose to mean?”
“You cursed me out in the bathroom earlier today.”
“We talked, you pooped, I thought we had a connection.”
“Well, if we ever have a special on meat salad, I’ll let you know.”

All of these lines are from things Youtuber: brutalmoose (channel is link in name) have said before in his videos.

“Those are presumably mushrooms.”
“Even though it’s loaded with sodium, it just taste better with salt and pepper.”
“Fake mash potatoes, they’re just fake mash potatoes.”
 “I feel like it’s really hard to describe a fake mash potato, but if you ever had one you know what it taste likes.”
“It was a made up points system, I made up it on the spot.”
“Magical, magical corn!”
“It really doesn’t look like chicken or a waffle.”
“I don’t know what it is about this frozen chicken, but it makes me nervous.”
“Look at this crap in my brownie, dude! You got corn, you got chicken in my brownie!”
“You don’t get this hot without being a little flammable, right?”
“I’m going to go eat the rest of my sodium…I mean lunch.”
“It’s all saying it changed for the worst, so that probably means it gonna be pretty delicious.”
“This chicken is making me feel…frighten.”
“Suspicious potatoes…I hereby declare my suspicions on the mash.”
“Something’s up with these taters.”
“Corn is delicious.”
“Some of you will say this is my fault, and you’re right.”
“I don’t wanna eat that…I guess gotta eat that.”

All of these are quotes from the animal residents from the Animal Crossing spin off game, Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer. 

Feel free to change pronouns if needed!

“If you’re looking for something specific, well, then look harder!”
“Well, I just ate a birthday cake for lunch…but I sort of feel like eating this too.”
“It can be very hard to save money when there are so many things I want to buy. I prefer to let future [ own name ] worry about money. It’s her problem, not mine.”
“The more I hang out there, the more stuff I want to get.”
“Ah! Am I noting the subtle flavors of peanut butter AND licorice? Delicious!”
“This is the kind of food they serve to celebrities at fancy award shows!”
“I should order a bunch of desserts to go.”
“The Chef’s Special? I can’t seem to remember if it’s soup or salad, but it IS made with jelly beans!”
“I don’t know why they don’t just let me diagnose myself. Do they really believe I don’t know what’s wrong? I’m sick! How hard was that, really?”
“I could really use some medicine, but not the medicine everyone else is taking. That medicine is too mainstream to work on me.”
“I’m not sure if I’m playing tag or hide and seek!”
“I can’t believe the teacher canceled the big test we were supposed to have today. I stayed all night studying! I even sharpened my lucky pencils!”
“Yeah! This is my JAM!”
“Ooh, I don’t think I have one of these yet. And if I do, I could always use another.”
“I’m good. If I can’t find it by myself, I probably don’t really need it.”
“There’s too much stuff here! I just wanted to make a quick, simple trip to the store, but now I can’t make up my mind.”
“Should I order dessert? Or just eat this candy bar that’s been melting in my pocket all day?”
“I wonder if they’ll make my meal free if I tell them it’s my birthday today…”
“Oops, I forgot my cell phone at home! If I can’t take a picture of my food, how will everyone know what I’m eating?”
“This work is ruining my nails! I’m going to need a manicure tomorrow!”
“Why is there so much emphasis on presentation? I just wanna slap everything on a plate and serve it. I mean, it’s all going to the same place anyway.”
“From everything I’ve read, the best ingredients are the ones that look like they have a story to tell. Hmm, now which ones of these are telling the best story today?”