#quotes for her
I am mourning someone who wouldn’t mourn me. I am mourning someone who wouldn’t notice if I was gone. Yet here I am praying for their happiness and safety. I stay up at night fantasizing of an alternate universe where things have fallen into place and I am good enough. Instead I lay here and mourn for the fact that my fantasies are just fantasies.
She Is Resilient
We know about addiction to drugs and alcohol. We even know about sex and gambling addictions. What we never talk about is addictions to people. That feeling of needing someone’s presence. Craving to feel that person’s touch. Often times we confuse it with love or infatuation, but in reality it’s an addiction. We go back to the same people who treat us like shit because we feel our dopamine surge around them. We just can’t get enough of them.
She is Resilient
It’s easy to avoid thinking about you when I’m sober. I’m hyper-focused on what I have to do, but all bets are off after the third glass of wine. You intrude my thoughts and create a perfect storm. You cloud my judgement and I start to crave your presence. I know that you’re not good for me. I know that I deserve better, but damn it I just want you. I want to be cradled in your arms like the old days. Alcohol brings me back to that.
She is Resilient
What’s the word for when your life feels completely out of place? Everything seems to be going wrong and no matter what you do to mitigate the damage, it only gets worse. They say the light at the end of the tunnel will make it worth it, but what if the tunnel is a maze and no matter what path you take it never feels like the right path? What do you do from there?
She is Resilient
Sadly a lot of people only see abuse as black and white. You may not have physical scars, but the emotional ones run deep to the point that they alter your DNA. A lot of people think that you could just get up and leave when in reality the actual thought of leaving physically hurts.
You can’t imagine life without them and you rationalize your pain as the ups and downs of life. Your abuser takes advantage of what is essentially your addiction to their attention. They dope you up with positivity only to take it away when you don’t meet their expectations - mentally breaking you. You find yourself craving and praying for their approval.
You’re never the same after that. There’s pre-them and after-them.
Once they leave you because they’re bored, have no use for you or worse found someone else to abuse, you become almost destitute and just broken. You struggle to move on and no matter how much therapy you get, you never truly go back to who you were before them. You find yourself becoming addicted to anyone who shows you kindness or replicates anything remotely close to your abuser on their best days. It’s a struggle that many people do not understand and often times blame you for putting up with it.
She is Resilient
There isn’t a drug in this world that comes even close to mimicking the high I get when I’m around you. Your presence is tantalizing and no matter how much I tell myself that this is the last straw, I fold every time.
She is Resilient
