I take my pills and I’m happy all the time… :)

monsters are real. and ghosts are real too. they live inside us. and sometimes…they win.

Who will dry ur eyes when it falls apart?

I know no one cares but today I’m 4 months clean of sh. I know I’m not gonna make it til new year cause I’m struggling so much rn but at least it were 4 months yk?

If I’m having a panic attack or if I’m telling you how sad I am or how I actually feel. Try a hug. It’s mental illness. Mental illness. Mental illness. It’s not like “my daughter feels horrible about herself, let me hug her.” It’s “Take your medicine!” It’s “Do you need to go to a hospital?” It’s mental illness before it’s me.

Maybe we feel empty because we left pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love.

I wish I could look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted at what I see. I can tell my friends to be strong and to love themselves but I can’t do it myself. I feel worthless. Like I don’t deserve to be loved.

Yes.. i am not looking for cure.. i am addicted and my wife too..

This is how my wife is in under control of her bull. If her bull orders her to strip naked and go outside she will do that too..

yo what up Tumblr been forever are people still on here.?

i have hope. this will be my last. i have hope that i have the fight in me. i have hope that i want this for myself. that i do deserve it. that i am not gone. that i have more to give, to make, to do, to see.

fuck this is gonna be hard. but ive done it before & fuck it was beautiful. it’s gonna suck, like goddami it’s gonna be so rough. but ill climb to the other side so grateful that ive come that far once again.

writingsforwinter:

REPEAT AFTER ME

ADDICTS ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE 

ADDICTS ARE HUMAN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE 

ADDICTS DESERVE LOVE NOT HATE 

ADDICTS NEED OUR HELP

ADDICTS ARE NOT TO BE JOKED ABOUT

ADDICTS ARE MORE THAN THEIR ADDICTION

i want to marry death.

As you probably all know by now, I get on fits where I get outrageously horny for women with huge cocks. It leads to things like this. Enjoy!

Premise: You’ve decided to entertain a job opening working as a servant at a mansion. Things get odd quickly as the recruiter speaks. Not only are all the servants crossdressing maids, but he has a particular fixation on their glorious Madam.

Length:~2300 Words

-Twitter (Where I’m at the most!) | Patreon|AO3|Hentai Foundry-

——–

It is quite a lovely place, is it not? A gigantic mansion, a pristine lawn, a majestic view, It truly is a slice of Eden on earth. As it turns out, there are opportunities here to take shelter, walk among luxury, and make a solid amount doing so. I presume that is why you’re here today? The job opportunity?

The outfit? That is part of the job. The Madam prefers it that way. She loves mini skirts and maid wear. She especially loves them on men. Your uniform of course will be paid for, and your pay will increase accordingly to accommodate such interesting clothing. I believe you will come to enjoy it though, should you agree to the work. There is comradery to be found doing the daily squat reps to maintain figure, alongside coworkers with legs and bottoms as toned as your own.

You look more than suitable enough for the job. I would hire you now if you would like. It matters not how you enter the mansion. You will leave with the mark of the Madam staining your very soul.

Hmm? Intimidating? You want me to elaborate? Very well.

The most outstanding beauty of this mansion is not the artwork or the architecture, rest assured. No, fantastic as those may be, the most outstanding feature of this grounds is the owner. The Madam. She has a name, of course, but I hardly feel appropriate reciting it. Why should I sully the Madam’s beautiful name with my pedestrian voice? She deserves better. We are not worthy.

You seem perplexed. Heh, in truth, her beauty truly is most perplexing. Would you think it odd that I have worked here for five years, yet the image of her face is so unclear in my head? It’s true. I can see foggy details. Her gorgeous eyes, her plump lips, her wide chest that taunts my darkest desires, hips and legs that have mastered the art of a heel stomp against tile, all are delicious. Yet these are never the features I stare at addressing her. That would be an insult to the Madam. How could I ever gaze on anything but that immaculate, titanic…

Odor? Yes, that is me. Is it not a beautiful scent?

No? Tch, my, you’re quite the uncultured one. It’s a fine aroma an amateur like you could never appreciate. It requires poise to appreciate, like a fine wine.

I have been bestowed it by the Madam herself. I’ve had my clothes, skin, and being immersed in the fruits of her sweetest gift. That is the weight of her greatest feature, her most prized treasure. Her commanding, dominating,, throbbing, virile, positively godly massive cock and titanic balls!

Oh, I could wax poetic about them for hours! Just their presence is outstanding! You truly have no idea what a gigantic cock is truly like until you’re in the shadow of one. You don’t feel shock, you don’t even feel aroused at first. You feel like a deer, having seen a predator in striking distance. You freeze. You submit. You watch with unflinching eyes focused tight and a racing pulse. You observe every feature on that meter breaching monster, all with feet of lead and paralyzed limbs. You drink it in. You have that scalp-high length and those head-sized balls burned into your mind. This is all just while the Madam’s stationary.

When she rises to meet fresh meat, It’s so amazingly sweet. The way the air moves as her dick shifts, the way moisture twirls as that radiating obelisk of cock sweat rises is breathtaking. To see it stationary is one thing. To see it sway with a bounce, to see those watermelon balls galunk and gurgle like gallon jugs, oscillating with every step… It’s hypnosis. The rhythm of her shifting cock weight as her stilettos clank with every step demands total fixation. You become so fixated, you almost don’t notice the more subtle things. You barely realize that your fresh sweat is barely even your own, with the Madam’s perspirant simply redewing on your forehead. You hardly notice your sense of taste spasm and flair as that smell of ladycock invading your nose makes its true flavor known on your tongue.

I remember entering her presence for the first time as a fateful event in my life. It felt as deep a swell of emotions as marriage itself. It changes you. It breaks you down from the useless flesh you are into a being for a far higher purpose. You’re no longer human, you’re a tool. You feel the steam in the air shift and obey the gigacock causing the shifts. You hear the swirl of sperm and turn your gaze towards her majestic nutsack.

You seem in disbelief after all this detail. My, does it all sound that strange? I could prove to you I am no liar. I could bring you into her presence now and let you see her divinity. Of course, there would be no escape afterwards. Your spirit would be pinned beneath her goddess-sized nuts, just as I am.

More disbelief. Do you truly think you have the resolve to stand before the Madam and overcome temptation?

So naive. Though, you’re not the only one. I thought I had self restraint. I thought I could say no. But the Madam’s nuts… oh sweet succulence, those delicious balls. I could feel them superseding every instinct in my brain effortlessly. I could feel their odor waft towards me and strike my senses. My eyes were unflinching. My knees begged to kneel. My chest felt as if it were about to explode, racing as if I were about to kiss my soulmate for the first time! The scent was fine at first, just the hot air of steam and sweat. Then? It dug in.

There’s something about the Madam’s sweaty ballsack. The odor it radiates has a certain way of recalibrating the mind. It hijacks the sense of taste. It’s an intensity at a level the human body was never meant to process. Too long in the presence of her kingly baby makers and the odor goes from an intense aroma of damp skin to all that matters. All resistance was gone. Those defiant shouts and my plan to escape were crushed. The mental space couldn’t be spared. All my foolish head could think of were those bloated nuts. Every inch of my mind was devoted to delicious, gurgling girl balls! Sitting before her feels divine, just breathing in the air stained by her balls. To lick and kiss them directly? Heaven.

I wanted nothing more in that moment than to press my face against her scrotum and feel her claim me as her own. I was writhing in excitement. I was harder than ever before. In my moment of need, my second of total desperation, she gave me a blessing. Her legs opened. Her gargantuan balls spread against her seat in their full glory. Her finger tempted me closer with a gentle motion towards.

I approached. I obeyed like a dog. I would have ran like a beast if I could, but my body held me back. My limbs had just been stunned by that mix of fear and mad arousal. My damn sense of self preservation cautioned me to stop moving forward as the air grew so intensely steamy and hot. Every step forward was another Celsius or two towards those steaming sperm factories!

Yet, despite all my meager resistance, I made it to her radiance. I dove in. I pressed my face against her nutsack and began my life anew as my Madam’s personal ball polisher. It was the single greatest moment in my existence. It’s still going to this very minute.

A lick of those balls is not a simple thing to wash out. The oils and their pheromones are sophisticated. They burn into the tongue. It overrides every other taste, and taints it with the sweet succulence of giant lady balls. Somehow it never grows tiring. Somehow after weeks and weeks of even just a single lick pressing against a sack, it’s a dizzying delicious taste. The more it sits, the more you can make out details, like how hot the room was that specific day, or how many loads had leaked down that low after an earlier cum shot. It is a taste that when the slightest bit of focus is lent its way can lead to fervent self pleasure sessions.

And in that very first moment where I licked upon the Madam’s nuts and sealed my fate, that would have been enough. I would have been a docile, dumb maid perpetually addicted to lapping at lady balls. Yet, the Madam blessed me. She…

G-gnnngh…

I-I am sorry, I know it’s unprofessional to masturbate during a job interview b-but I must! It’s so hot! To do anything else would be a disservice to the Madam’s radiance!

She saw something more in me. She felt I could be molded, to the head of the maids as I am today. She rose up, placed my head in her seat and… G-gaaah… g-god!

S-she sat those massive orbs on my face! She marked me as her servant right then and there! She enveloped me in the total heaven of soul-staining sweaty ball musk and broke me in like a proper bitch! I can still feel her sweat in my skin to this day. I can never escape the heaven on earth she branded into my face.

A-and… And then… G-god…

She spoke! She blessed me with her sweet syrup of a voice as I stayed pinned beneath her!

“You belong to me now.” She said. “You are my servant. My maid.”

I-I couldn’t answer. I wanted to scream yes, but I was choking beneath her fat balls crushing my face! I screamed in glee. It was all nearly completely muffled.

Yet somehow she heard me. She laughed. Her giggle made my spine shiver.

“Good boy~”

God, I can hardly stand recounting it! And after that, she pressed down and wobbled her balls back and forth, pressing against my face, burning her aroma in me for all eternity. I couldn’t stop huffing them! I was so madly aroused! I was hers, and I’m hers to this day! I’m her ruined butler. I’m her total ballslut maid! I’m a nut-snorting, ball-cleaning, obedient little….

GNNNNNRGGHHH~!

OOOOH…. Ohhh… I… I’m… Pardon the sudden display of depravity. I try to keep as formal as possible during interviews. That said, to not act with primal lust recounting such a vivid memory would be a dishonor to her grace. Let us continue.

I have blown so many loads in the presence of the Madam, ejaculating just hearing the gurgle of her sperm stockades. I am aroused constantly every moment I am in her air. The other maids and I masturbate perpetually, our pumping growing faster as we swap stories of what we’ll do the next time our mistress deems us worthy enough to be pinned beneath her sack.

It is an honor to dispose of her sperm. I know no greater joy than seeing that immaculate cock that peaks past her eyes flair to its maximum size, then erupt into her special condoms. To see rubber stretched until a transparent white trash bag of her love is hanging is amazing. The Madam has lost control of herself as her cock and balls seem to still grow to this day. Just a slight shift in her seat or too tight a clench of the thighs can spur her to parsed lips and a deep, orgasmic grunt. Have you ever seen an ejaculation cross the 5 minute mark? It is a common sight in the Madam’s presence. Absurdly huge drainings of her balls are an hourly affair.

I know what you must be thinking: have I ever tasted her sperm directly? I have not. The licks of her balls where I’ve been blessed to taste the dry remnants of her loads have been divine experiences. I’m not yet ready to taste her raw output. I don’t think any human on earth can taste it and keep their sanity.

Perhaps, after all this, you view me as a dire warning. You may look at me and think me a victim of a horrible addiction. I can understand that perspective, to some extent. I’m sure others have spoken about this place, how it changes people, how it ruins them. It can be startling to see someone’s world reorient in such a brief span of time.

Yet, honestly? It’s just my courtesy as a maid saying that. Those notions are foolish. This is no terrible fate. I feel no remorse or regret. My soul is stained by the Madam’s balls. A life without Madam’s massive marbles staining every inch of my being is not a life worth living. I am happy to work. I am happy to please her. Am I an addict? Can it really be called addiction when it’s just savoring true beauty? To walk in air devoid of the smell of her ball sweat feels like choking on smog. I need it. I must live in the cock-stained oxygen of her radiance. I have tasted too much wine to ever again desire water.

You may run along now if you wish. Warn the others about the life of servitude at the Madam’s mansion. I care not. If you are too frightened of enlightenment, I shall let you stumble in ignorance.

Or… You may join me. You can enter the Madam’s bedroom and be broken. I would be honored to escort you to the Madam and let her sweaty, colossal nutsack seal your fate with its sweet kiss.