Like the woman who called poison control to find out if thistles are poisonous. ‘I never thought to warn my kids not to eat thistles. I thought it was obvious.’
I once explained to a junior high student WHY one should not pee on an electric fence.
Allowing Our Children to Be Practicing Nonattachment by Madisyn Taylor
One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to allow our children to be who they want to be.
Parenting asks us to rise to some of the most difficult challenges this world has to offer, and one of its greatest paradoxes arises around the issue of attachment. On the one hand, successful parenting requires that we love our children, and most of us love in a very attached way. On the other hand, it also requires that we let go of our children at the appropriate times, which means we must practice some level of nonattachment. Many parents find this difficult because we love our children fiercely, more than we will ever love anyone, and this can cause us to overstep our bounds with them as their independence grows. Yet truly loving them requires that we set them free.
Attachment to outcome is perhaps the greatest obstacle on the parenting path, and the one that teaches us the most about the importance of practicing nonattachment. We commonly perceive our children to be extensions of ourselves, imagining that we know what’s best for them, but our children are people in their own right with their own paths to follow in this world. They may be called to move in directions we fear, don’t respect, or don’t understand, yet we must let them go. This letting go happens gradually throughout our lives with our children until we finally honor them as fully grown adults who no longer require our guidance. At this point, it is important that we treat them as peers who may or may not seek our input into their lives. This allows them, and us, to fully realize the greatest gift parents can offer their offspring —independence.
Letting go in any area of life requires a deep trust in the universe, in the overall meaning and purpose of existence. Remembering that there is more to us and our children than meets the eye can help us practice nonattachment, even when we feel overwhelmed by concern and the desire to interfere. We are all souls making our way in the world and making our way, ultimately, back to the same source. This can be our mantra as we let our children go in peace and confidence.
Ok so I’ve curated this list based on both my own experiences and that of other people, these may or may not be applicable depending on what they like and how old they are but it’s just some ideas to help whether you’re baby sitting or want to do something fun! I am not a parent myself however from things my own parents, my siblings and my experience with little ones these are my suggestions, but whatever works for you I think you’re doing awesome!!
Make fairy houses; It doesn’t have to be mega fancy but you can get creative with this, fake moss and flowers, clay bake toad stools, make door signs, beds etc, then you can place these in the garden for when the ‘fairies’ visit
Have an ‘archaeology’ dig, if you have a sand box use this as your base but if not fill a small paddling pool with some sand and then hide objects among the sand to dig up and examine, this can range from a tiara to ‘dinosaur bones,’ Give them a spade and a pastry brush and watch the wonders of tiny Indiana Jones
Ok so this was game me, my cousin and my sisters used to play at my grandmas when we were little but it’s great because it teaches kids about different words but also different categories of knowledge. So we’d take an A4 sheet of paper and write the alphabet along the portrait side of it, we’d then make a table with categories at the top ranging from animals to names and we’d have to go through each letter of the alphabet and think of something in these categories that started with the same letter, the person who could think of the most things or the most letters in a word would win a point and the person with the most points was the winner
Create a mini ocean; Fill a large plastic box with clean fresh water and some skin safe blue food colouring and place somewhere that you don’t mind getting wet, in the water place plastic sea creatures, fake sea plants, some rocks at the bottom and even some sand. Add on the side of the box some extras like boats and a some small people so that they can create their own adventures.
Colour in a giant colouring picture; Set it in the centre of the floor or on your dining table, make sure to put a protector underneath to prevent any ink bleed and layout some non toxic felt tip pens and colouring pencils
Bake and decorate sugar cookies; These are great to fuel the imagination, lay out a decorating station with sprinkles, icing and edible paper decorations and let the fun begin
Hide an object and let them scavenge to find it, if you hide it well this will make for a lot of fun and if you hide multiple items this can be an exciting treasure hunt
A magic show; Find a kids magic trick video on YouTube for them to perform, then let them make their own show with costumes, sound effects and curtain reveals
Tik tok dances; Learn and dance to a family tik tok dance, if you’re babysitting you can film it and keep it as something fun for their parents to have
Finger painting, get a few large sheets of paper, some non toxic paints and some old or easily washable clothes, go outside and go wild
Make houses and rooms for toys from shoe boxes; I did this all the time as a kid and all it takes is some toy accessories, some glue to stack and stick the boxes together to make a doll house and some scraps of fabric, magazine cut outs and pens to decorate
Origami; Get a book of folding paper and hit YouTube, I made a rose with mine
Fashion shows; Let the kids wear whatever they like, fancy dress, their own clothes, a bin bag toga, whatever! Create a runway space and put on some music and let them do the rest!
Paint and build animal habitats; whether it’s a bird house, a hedgehog hide away or a bees nook this will not only teach kids how to care for their environment and local wildlife but also provide hours of fun, even better when you can see some critter visitors
Decorate plant pots then Plant herbs, flowers and vegetables in the garden; buy plain large or medium plant pots, some brushes and waterproof paints and let the kids paint a pot each for the bedding plants and then help them to plant them. A creative and sustainable way to entertain kids while helping the environment.
Create a den, gather duvets, sheets, cushions, blankets, pillows and Fairylights and make a cosy den to play, read and watch movies
Make themed baths; this can range from space to mermaid cove, invest in a mood lamp, fun baths toys and skin sensitive bath bombs, depending on the theme you can personalise this eg for jungle themed, suspend plastic Ivy and vines around the walls and the bath, place plastic jungle animals in the bath and around the tub, plunge a green swampy bath bomb into the bath, use a green mood lighting and playing some jungle ambience music to set the scene
Decorate masks, you can buy these from any craft shop, buy some paints, feathers, glitter, beads etc and enjoy!
Make Halloween/Christmas decorations; This can range from making bat bunting to painting baubles to making Christmas paper chains, get some ideas from Pinterest and go from there. Paper chains are a great thing to do for any event as on each scrap of paper you can draw pictures and be creative
Have a karaoke night with ‘microphones’ these can literally be wooden spoons or hair brushes, add in some sunglasses and a fancy scarf and you’ve got a mini X factor in your house
A teddy bears picnic, this can be inside or outside depending on the weather, you and each of the kids can bring one cuddly toy to the picnic as their guest to share lunch/dinner/whatever meal with, this is even better if you voice talk the stuffed animals to make it more fun
Make finger puppets and have a puppet show, whether you make a stage or not is up to you but I’m a big believer in that a piece of A4 paper, some glue and a few felt pens can bring so much fun
Obstacle course; set it up throughout the house or garden with string ‘lazer’ beams, cushion stepping stones along the ‘lava canyon,’ the mop handle limbo pole and the dreaded skipping rope on the floor tightrope
Makeover; Grab some cheap makeup and nail vanishes and let them make you into a super model
Hair dressers; Again let them play with and style your hair, provide clips and hair ties and voila, even if you have short hair it still works!
Slip and slide; Roll out a carpet protector in the garden or in your hallway, cover it in fairy liquid, get the kids in their bathing suits and enjoy the at home water park
Water fight; Get some cheap water pistols, go out into the garden or the front of the building and go for your life!
Paddling pool; Self explanatory fun!
Garden/house camping; Set up a tent in the garden or the living room, put some sleeping bags and blankets etc in there with some fairy lights, roast marshmallows and pretend you’re out in the wild wilderness of the world
Ball games; Football, basketball, netball, whatever it is it’s a great way to have fun in a larger group
Play do; No need to explain this one
Indoor mini garden; Get a box and fill it with soil, give the kids some rocks, twigs, fake plants and flowers and let them go wild
Get some old (appropriate) magazines, some newspapers, glue, stickers, felt pens, a sheet of A2 paper and some paper letters, and let the kids express who their art in collage
Movie marathons; Disney plus is a recommended purchase! Alongside some popcorn of course
Simple YouTube crafts; watch the videos and make some cool stuff
Paint water colour pictures; Less mess and less stress if you buy palettes
Watch and follow drawing tutorials, it’s great to see what you come up with in the end and when you’re finished colour them in!
The finding game; Keep a score sheet on paper and ask the kids to find things like the biggest stick in the garden, the smelliest sock and the largest stone, whoever gets the most points wins
Im sure there are loads more things I haven’t mentioned but basically just come up with whatever you think will be fun and safe for the kids to enjoy, sometimes the best things are in our own homes and they don’t need to be at any fancy places or using any fancy tech, just simple stuff used in the right way can be effective
before you ever even consider having a child you should be ready to handle a disabled child, you should be ready to handle twins, you should be ready to handle a gay child or a trans child
because if you’re not ready for your child to be anything other than one straight, cis, able bodied and able minded child, you’re going to end up neglecting and abusing somebody for years to come
and even if your child is all that, you might have a feminine boy or a masculine girl on your hands. so be fucking ready for your child to be a human being and not YOUR PRODUCT or PROPERTY or CREATION
fucking sort your shit out, i am so tired of shitty parental sob stories about how “hard” it is to “raise” (read: beat the divergency out of) an autistic child or whatever. do you know what’s harder? being the divergent child of parents who you’ve already let down by virtue of existing in a way they didn’t ask for. putting up with years of neglect and abuse because you’re just not good enough for them, you weren’t what they were planning for or expecting.
