When your rarepair is so rare it can barely be called a ship. It’s just the rubber ducky bobbing along in the tub with you, but you are awfully fond of it.
I am still squatting alone in Renataphine hell. There are no Renata/Seraphine fics and like, I get it.
I get it.
But at the same time, I feel like this dynamic is what fanfic was made for. Is it healthy? Absolutely not. Is it appealing? I CERTAINLY THINK SO.
So I guess I’m just asking this of anyone who reads this. What do you all think of this ship? Currently, the two chapter of Onset of Starlight featuring Renata & Seraphine are the only representations of this fic on ao3 anywhere. Literally, it is the only fic in the Renata/Seraphine tag. Should it stay that way?
Tell me what you all think of this. Is this just a terrible dynamic? Because I’ll be honest, I feel like all the people who stan Lady D should be on my side for this one at the very least.
I think @xekstrin also has an interest in this topic?
my humble and for legal reasons sarcasticopinion of the characterization i’ve seen:
the prevailing sangihun dynamic is FALSE. uwu-ified choccy milk babygirl gihun with a moral line he’ll never cross ✨ DOES NOT EXIST. cold-blooded olympic athlete at black friday sales sangwoo with 2 alternating expressions (1.fuck, 2.off) DOES NOT EXIST.
mind that i project needlessly onto my favorite characters, and therefore may understand a fraction of the thoughts running through sangwoo’s head as my mans was slowly rotting alive in his own bathroom. which is to SAY the gifted kid’s fall from grace and the crushing pressure to meet expectations or greet your lifelong friend: Guilt hits a little bit close to home. in this Very critical essay, i’ll share what that’s like. please be warned that it’s heavy stuff (wait, this was supposed to be sarcasm-)
firstly, some screw-ups like us DO end up resorting to extremes to keep up with expectations. the logic is simple: even if it’s a lie, it’s just our weight to bear, isn’t it? often it’s these honor roll kids that are good at cheating, fibbing, and workarounds that carefully maintain the high standard imposed on them since childhood. do we feel AWFUL about it? does it wreak havoc on our mental health and in the long term pose some dangerous self esteem and integrity issues that cause us to spiral even more and damage our relationships…? WELL LEMME TELL YA, I SURE AS HECJK HOPENOT but sangwoo’s clearly jumped from point A to point Z in that alphabet. he’s VERY much at a stage of misery that would take years to undo by the time of the show.
point is… you’ll notice (especially if you’re One Of Us) that we don’t do this because we stopped caring. often it’s the opposite, that we care a whole stupid lot. a divide starts between the you that deserves love and good things and the you that’s fallen so behind that any harm to them at the expense of loved ones’ pride and the community’s respect is an inconsequential and near masochist price to pay. (self-care also tends to decline, but south korean society is big on the importance of the physical face, so a businessman like sangwoo is understandably well kempt for other reasons.)
to me, pathological liar cho sangwoo hides agony and self-hatred. after every instance in which he’s chosen self-preservation, he ends up choosing his mother’s health and happiness over his own life. his mindset of wiping his worthless self from the equation so something better will replace him is DAMN FOLLY, I SAY!!!! sangwoo doesn’t redeem himself in the finale, he shatters. he thought it was the right choice to rob a mother of her son. what does life have to do to someone to think that? why does it scare me a lot that i’m starting to get an idea…?
what i’m SAYING is that the extremes sangwoo takes in the games are easily a continuity of lying about his residence in america, of siphoning the wealth of others to toss up and lose six billion and somehow never think to try something else. he’s a sick fuck with an attitude, but the Prodigy Turned Asswipe At Rock Bottom trajectory follows REALLY REALLY WELL here. therefore it’s my idea of how he ended up as the guy we see in S1. and you know what that asswipe needs??
A HUG!!!! REAL THERAPY!! and for GIHUN, seemingly the only person he trusts to accept him when he’s completely lost face, to PROVIDE love and support. to let him be weak and tender and NOT. NOT.NOT the callous bastard that came this close to total desensitization to violence. imo THIS is the true sangihun dynamic!! one that doesn’t have any coping mechanism attached to it whatsoever!! this version sparks JOY!!! the possessive, domineering, and enigmatic stone face act that fandom interpretations give to a long-term depressed and isolated man doesn’t appeal to me tbh. he shows signs and hints of the altruistic and almost gentle person he can really be (with proper guidance…!)
his name means “helping each other” and while it was chosen to emphasize his contradictions.. maybe it could be a sign? i’ll take more of that sweet sangwoo please <3 my shriveled grinch heart needs it <3 <3 but that’s all i’ll say about that!! to each their own!!!
NOW. GIHUN.
YA’LL. THIS MAN……………..
A LITERAL WALKING RED FLAG??? how did so many shippers miss it COMPLETELY??
ignoring my additional lengthy history with deadbeat dads with an addiction (well, except for the extent to which it colors my opinions here, if you will ) … gihun’s an alright dude at first glance. but the rift between his personality and the violence he encounters is just…. astounding? and deeply troubling, seeing as he’s joking about military ranks like this is a discord RP server after the first round. ahem. the exceedingly ruthless and gruesome first round?? the only other characters we see enjoying themselves to this extent are deok su and his pack - but there’s gang violence history there, so it tracks. but GI HUN??? (funny that his name means “high ranking”)
and not to mention the raging hot topic that was the very last scene. turns his back on the airplane terminal a few STEPS from boarding and JUST AFTER calling his daughter…. for the sake of revenge? for some righteous cause that borders on delusions of grandeur??
well. actually… i think my sangihun agenda can explain that one. which is where my idea of their dynamic from gihun’s POV takes form. (still keeping in mind that these are all opinions! thank you kindly)
gihun’s had experience with the almost primal violence in the lights-out section of the games. he tells ilnam about the protest that happened when he and his coworkers were laid off, where he watched a friend die. when this repeats with allies like saebyeok and most critically with sangwoo, he pretty visibly shuts down. a whole year passes before ilnam’s fucky wucky doctrine and the sight of salesmen recruiting new players shakes him out of it. so there’s already two reasons to be roused to Battinson levels of vengeance, but…? enough to leave gayeong?
enter: the darker implications of gihun coming to a stop just before winning the games. turning back and reaching for sangwoo’s hand. what choices is he making here, and how are they layered? he’s choosing survival, you’d say - he values life over monetary gain, and that’s noble. but… what about his mother’s life? her treatment?
in his last moments, sangwoo’s ultimate motivation is reparations. his purpose for competing was to right his wrongs, namely the years he’s spent deceiving his mother. he feels I’m Human Garbage tier remorse, and this was discussed earlier - in no way does jamming a knife into his neck help the woman he cares about the most! … but it doesn’t negate that his last act was, in his mind, selfless. gihun’s appears to be, too. UNTIL you read it as effectively putting sangwoo’s life above his own mother’s, his own daughter’s love for him, and even his ex-wife’s lack of financial independence.
in the last moments of the game, he chooses sangwoo. his safety is his only motivation - there’s a broken man laying at his feet, wishing they were kids again, and you can see the sorrow and pity in gihun taking over. when that choice gets turned on its head in a few fatal seconds, you can also see his radicalization finish as early as That Scene.
here’s what i mean.
he’s constantly putting sangwoo on a pedestal. i don’t even have to explain - we’ve seen the memes. i’ve become the meme just to annoy my friends. Did you hear? HUH? You don’t know about the SNU genius??!! … it was adorable and all too sobering to watch. but the answer. Is. Right. There!!! he’s a gambling addict doing irregular small jobs, debt-ridden and divorced, on the brink of losing everything else - of course cho sangwoo, the best of the best, the shining example of discipline and achievement, would give him hope? of course it isn’t possible for life to screw over someone so deserving of the most it has to offer? of course sangwoo’s going to be okay, and at least he’ll have him to lean on?
WROMG, SIR. he watches in real time as the system they’ve both become trapped in grinds up the last of sangwoo’s will to go on. he sees the fate of someone who really, truly had it all going for him, and when you’re witness to a death like that - the “long line of Buddhists” in your family may as well end right there. and i saw exactly that in gihun.
which is to say….. S2 gihun, at least to me, sounds like a scary mf. god knows about that hair but, thinking of where he’s coming from, i see a flipped sangihun dynamic (in life or in death, take your pick) as the True Gospel. intensely protective gihun who won’t let sangwoo go off the deep end again, who does everything in his power to get him help and bring his walls down, or in worse cases, avenge the heck out of him. sangwoo smoothing the furious edge in gihun so he doesn’t go off doing a Stupid when his family is perfectly intact and needs him. sangwoo being quicker to embrace normalcy and showing him what to be grateful for. this is just the park i’m in!
i see gihun as the rowdy, bloody-nosed fight-picking kid in their youth. i see sangwoo as the occasional extra pair of fists, but mostly the quiet, nose-in-books boy who was terrible at making friends and content with just the one. and they’re currently my everything :))))))
pls ❤️ ask me for sangihun thoughts if you want to, i will dust off my bible. xoxox
