slytherin-sarcasm:

Ravenclaw: Am I the only one who finds it weird that I can transfer data from my brain to someone else’s by opening my mouth and pushing air wii vibrations in their direction?

Slytherin: How high are you?

Ravenclaw:5’4”

Slytherin: More hygenic this way, so you’re not breathing germs all over it!

Ravenclaw: I like how you say that as if I actually breathe.

The only thing stopping me (a slytherin) and my girlfriend (a ravenclaw) from taking over the world is depression. Once we get past this, it’s over for you bitches.

Hogwarts houses as twitter posts

More specifically, as my and my gfs twitter posts

Gryffindork-

Slytherin (being a little savage and insensitive)-

Ravenclaw-

Hufflepuff-

Slytherin: at least the moment I stop crying I don’t look like I’ve been crying at all, it’s a gift really

Ravenclaw: Babe, did you know there were plagues in 1720, 1820 and 1920? … it’s the 20’s

Slytherin: Whack, Time to kill of the rich with the plague

Ravenclaw: Plague is back on the menu.