#slytherclaw
Gryffindor: Now, guys, I have a little surprise for you!
Slytherin: You’re getting a nose job?
Hufflepuff: You’re getting married?
Ravenclaw: You’re getting fired?
Gryffindor: …
Gryffindor: First of all, RUDE, second -
Slytherin:
Sit on their lap to give them perfect eyeliner / Write comebacks to rude messages / Hype them up before they speak to their crushes / Lend them my hats to spice up their outfits / Give them honest advice when they’ve made bad choices / Try to help them achieve their goals
Ravenclaw:
Check the zodiac compatibility for their crushes / Listen to their weird dreams and try to interpret them / Write bad meme-filled fanfiction when they’ve had a bad day / Do intricate nail designs / Research anything they tell me they are a fan of / Lend them films so they can enjoy them, too
Gryffindor:
Speak to them loudly in French so they can avoid people / Make them feel better about their horrible flirting skills / Offer to be their second in a fight / Hold and massage their hand when they feel nervous / Redo their lipstick when they’re gonna see their crush / Send them wholesome memes
Hufflepuff:
Bring in cookies on my birthday so they can have treats, too / Sing their favourite songs when they’re sad / Send them pictures of pretty flowers / Motivate them to do their goddamn homework / Draw cartoons of them on their birthday cards / Play with their hair when they need a nap / Be the sensible, sober friend
Does anyone else know the undying struggle of being a Slytherin, a Firebender and an INTJ? Seriously I’m not gonna murder your children and steal your life’s fortune I just like being alone and think too much calm down Tiffany.
Over text (3)
Slytherin:Answer your phone.
Ravenclaw:Wait a minute, I can’t find it.
Slytherin:Got it
Slytherin, after several minutes: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, rave.
Gryffindor : Why are your tongues purple?
Slytherin : We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Ravenclaw : I had a red one.
Gryffindor : oh
Gryffindor :
Gryffindor : OH
Hufflepuff :
Hufflepuff : You drank each other’s slushies?
Slytherin : Why are Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sitting with their backs to each other?
Ravenclaw : They had a fight.
Slytherin : Then why are they holding hands?
Ravenclaw : They get sad when they fight.
Slytherin: *talking about Gryffindor* is there no way to get rid of them
Ravenclaw: not without cause Slytherin
Slytherin: I have cause it’s beCAUSE I hate them
Ravenclaw: *to Slytherin* What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic… But it was also wrong.
Ravenclaw: Lesbians! What is your wisdom?
Slytherin:The galaxy is nothing but a cold and cruel wasteland. Our only comfort in life is the warm embrace of our lovers.
Gryffindor:Girls are hot.
Gryffindor: Hitting the gym to release stress is really not as effective as hitting the people who caused the stress.
Ravenclaw:*Backs away slowly*
Slytherin:*Jumps out the window*
Ravenclaw:*to Slytherin* You’re so screwed up that you make me make sense. You and me? We just fit.
slytherin: ravenclaw loves me! he said he’d throw himself in front of a car for me!
gryffindor: ravenclaw would throw himself in front of a car for a pigeon.
slytherin: darling, fire whiskey please.
ravenclaw: sly, it’s breakfast.
slytherin: and a piece of toast.
Mornings
FIVE IN THE MORNING IS NOT GOOD FOR RAVENCLAWS I SWEAR. I REPEAT FIVE IN THE MORNING IS NOT GOOD FOR RAVENCLAWS.
Love Looney Lou xxx
Ravenclaws that start research for a class and then get distracted reading about it and forget about the actual work that needs doing…
Ravenclaw: *spends 6 hours in the dead of night learning about particular subject for class*
-the next morning-
Slytherin: You completed that (insert thing) work for (insert thing)?
Ravenclaw: I DIDN’T ACTUALLY GET TO THAT PART I WAS DISTRACTED OKAY
This blog has been borderline dead for probably about a year now because being an ‘adult’ (we use this term loosely) gets in the way of everything. Lou and I were working full time jobs all summer and now we’ve each started universities at opposite ends of the country *insert cry emoji as I type with a completely straight face*.
BUT we are both now vaguely settled in and we miss freaking out over stuff with other potterheads. Please forgive us!
-Jay
• ENTP/ 3w4/ Libra/ Slytherclaw/ Neutral Good/ Aesthetic •
•Slytherclaw/ Scorpio/ INTJ/ Chaotic Neutral/ Girl/ Aesthetic•
Slytherclaw: High-functioning Disaster
True crime
Gryffindor: I got arrested for being too cool
Slytherin: all charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence
Ravenclaw: Am I the only one who finds it weird that I can transfer data from my brain to someone else’s by opening my mouth and pushing air wii vibrations in their direction?
Slytherin: How high are you?
Ravenclaw:5’4”
I tried taking that Pottermore quiz with ALL the questions. I kind of wanted to prove that maybe I’m not only a Hufflepuff that I’m also SOMETHING ELSE.
And…
I am SO HUFFLEPUFF. How is it that I’m more Ravenclaw and Slytherin then Gryffindor? Is it even possible for me to have scored that low in Gryffindor??
¿Por que no Las dos?
…
The red circle on the calendar glared at her mockingly. Game Night. The lady in the picture on the calendar litterally glared at her and she took that as her cue to stop staring at a wall and stalling and just go play a stupid game.
They’d been asking about it for months after she accidentally mentioned playing the game with her family on vacations. Her muggle family. She didn’t hate her family or even her status as a “muggleborn student”. But in slytherin, she heard it could be a touchy subject. Anywho.
She grabbed the cardboard box and headed into the common room.
The noise of about a dozen children, caffeinated at nearly midnight on a Friday, was enough to get her spirits higher.
“Who’s ready for Monopoly, Bitches!”
A mixture of excited responses and reprimands for cursing came at twice the volume. Beaming excitedly (albeit a bit nervous) she took up her throne at the end of the table, proudly donning the Game Master cape, and began explaining the rules of the game. Everyone seemed so excited. Their arguement over the player pieces. The multiple death threats. So many people in jail. At some point, one of the older students brought out a large box that they promptly marked as the jail. Yes it was used.
“Just so you know, I’m going to remember this next week when people start asking for notes or study help for finals.” A rather disgruntled ravenclaw threatened to deaf ears from the jail.
“Just so you know, maybe you shouldn’t have bought my last property, loser.” A first year at the end of the table shot back, earning a round of laughter from everyone at the table.
“This is one the the best game nights weve had in a really long time. You’re malicious! And to think we thought you might belong to hufflepuff.” To her right, her best friend teased where only they could hear.
“To think I was afraid people would think this game was stupid. It’s just.. well is a sill little-” flustered, she stumbled over her grasp of vocabulary.
“No one would ever make fun of you because it’s a muggle game. It’s a fun game, you got travis to sit in a cardboard box for 23 minutes. Any game that can do that is a good game in my book. No matter where it came from.” Her best friend proudly declared, rolling the dice.
The laughter fell.
There was a silence as everyone counted the number of spaces and terror filled their expressions.
Her best friend solemnly moved a little metal caricature onto one of her properties. With great care. “Mate. Ol pal. Mi amigo. We can talk about this.”
Muggle born or not, a slytherin is a slytherin.
“Nah. Pay up, mate.”
Flip Grid
Slytherin, recording a video response for class: Hey everyone. I really don’t know what to do so I’m just going to do a flip
*flips off bunk*
Slytherin: I hope yall enjoyed that
Labels and titles
Slytherin: I like to do things subtly.
Ravenclaw: So you’re passive aggressive…
Slytherin: One time in 3rd year, I punched someone because they were making fun of my friend.
Ravenclaw: That’s not passive aggressive.
Hufflepuff: That’s aggressive aggressive.
Intelligent life
Ravenclaw, stargazing: Do you think we are alone in this universe
Slytherin: I hope not.
Ravenclaw: Yea I guess it would be kinda scary if we were.
Slytherin: Well that, and I really want an alien girlfriend.
Ravenclaw: … That’s valid
In a pinch
Slytherin: Like I was saying….
Gryffindor: Enough! The time for talking is over.
Slytherin: I really don’t know if that’s ever true.
Vibin
Slytherin: *does anything*
Ravenclaw: omg do you HAVE to be so extra?
Slytherin: bro relax I’m litterally just vibing
Bollocks
Slytherin: *throwing a coin at their friend instead of in the swear jar*
Other slytherin, laughing: look I know I’m hot but can yall stop throwing money at me?
Hex Girls
Slytherin: let’s go hex someone. *unbuttons robe to reveal a Quidditch bat*
Other slytherin: You are a delight and I would let you murder me.
Study hall
Abbey (slytherin): Bro if you want to help someone write an essay go write mine and go away.
Jo (slytherin): How about you write your own and I’ll fix it when you’re done?
Abbey: damn ok.
*clears throat* Another day another art.. these are the students of hogwarts next generation. The halfblood Aurora Ranvier (my oc Hehe) from the house of Ravenclaw who prefers pepper spray rather than using her wand, because why not. The pureblood Violet Carrington (not my oc, i just draw it) from the house of slytherin who desperately needs a swear jar.
I am still working on the gryffindor and hufflepuff so staytune!
