#romance booktube
Y'all, strap in, ‘cause I got words to word!
One Sentence Summary:
She is a spinster wallflower with a secret lockpick hobby, and he’s plotting to betray her for revenge.
Name That Trope:
- Upper class heroine + commoner hero = CLASS! DIVIDE!
- She’s Gonna Marry That Boy [not-the-hero] Some Day
- Hey I Just Met You, And This Is Crazy, But Imma Sabotage Your Wedding, Sorry Baby
- “Please, Mr Hot Stranger! Teach me how to seduce my fiance!”
- Regency Not In A Ballroom
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- That heart-bleedingingly brutal internal conflict climax when our OTP hurt each other with words. I was obliterated with pain and I loved it and hi I’m apparently a masochist.
- When cotton candy & childhood neglect were turned into the most romantic, ovary-’splodey thing I ever read in my got-dang life!
- WHEN OUR GAL DONE PICKED AN UNPICKABLE LOCK! The amount of female competency porn in this book is life giving.
- When Devil is storytelling about a god who only sees the past & the future, cause it 100% reflected our hero! Boy is obsessed with future revenge while being tormented by past tragedies. Good writing is orgasmic!
- [oh! speaking of orgasmic!] When our smuggler hero slipped into his Cockney accent and dropped the F bomb, I dropped my panties!
Favorite Character:
Favorite characterS? Oh that’s easy. Felicity and Devil, because I ain’t out here trying to pick between perfection.
Our heroine is relatably compelling in her longing for acceptance. She rocks competency, independence, AND sasstacular wit. She’s got “dimples on her round belly” and even rescues the distressed hero! SHE IS GOALS!
Our hero is tormented by emotastic sads rooted in parental abuse and neglect. His revenge boner for his bro is all consuming. He is alpha-vulnerable without crossing into Dickhole territory. HE IS SECRETLY A FLUFF MUFFIN!
How smexy was the smex?
GET YO BLOOMERS BRACED, MY PEEPS!
- Our boy gets happy-pants over Felicity whispering “That’s it, baby” to her unpickable lock. His dirty mind + her competency + his awe over her skill = CATNIP!
- So! Much! GOOD SEX DIALOGUE! It’s emotionally sexy, and I’m here for Characters Talking During Pound Town.
- That oral fun-time on the whispering bench? Wowza! This book makes outdoor sex sexy.
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
Felicity,18% into the book: When you are ignored by the stars, you wonder if you might ever burn bright.
Devil, 75% into the book: I wish to make you burn until you’ve made the stars jealous of your heat.
*****
‘She wasn’t a simpleton. She was fascinating. Smart-mouthed and curious and more comfortable in the darkness than he would have imagined. And with a smile that made a man pay attention. It was a pity he’d have to ruin her.’
*****
Devil:The roof was an excellent choice.
Felicity:Why?
Devil: Because when you scream your pleasure to the night, you can be as loud as you like.
*****
‘It should be illegal for a woman like Felicity Faircloth to say the word passion. It conjured images of wide expanses of skin and beautiful, mahogany locks across white sheets. It made a man wonder how she would arch her back to his touch, how she might ask for it. How she might direct it. How her hand would feel on his, moving his fingers to the precise location she wanted them. How her fingers would feel against his scalp as she moved his mouth to the precise location she wanted it. Thank God they were standing fifteen feet from a hold full of ice.’
*****
Devil:Lockpicking isn’t the kind of skill one expects a woman to have.
Felicity: It’s exactly the kind of skill we should have. Our whole world is built by men. For them. And we’re simply here for decoration, brought in at at end of everything important. Well, I grow tired of ends. Locks are beginnings.
Got any bitching to do?
Admittedly there was a moment during one sex scene that just puzzled the fuck out of me. Felicity is sitting on top of an ice block, Devil’s smooching on her neck, then he slides down to her boobs while he simultaneously “tucked his hard length against her,“ &…huh?! I’ve never been more confused over sex logistics in my life!
But the enthusiastic dry humping made up for that, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
If it were possible to give a book a standing ovation, I’d be on my feet clapping! This puppy is the literal definition of Good Book Noise™. It was an excellently paced romantic story about 2 wonderful human beings who are flawed in such compelling ways.
From an entire cast of soul-snatching characters to the fact that the story is 98% internally driven with 2% external conflict about a bad guy who [likely] isn’t bad; this book does it all. It’s emotional and moving and so goddamn good it makes you proud to be a romance reader!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s a Puerto Rican nerd posing as her super model twin sister, and he’s a smitten, black football star.
Name That Trope:
- Fuck buddies with an expiration date
- I’m Not Who You Think I Am (heroine-in-deception)
- Hero with Capital-t Trust issues
- Nerdtastic heroine; speaks 5 languages, including Elvish!
- Tattoos & Piercings & Body Art, Oh My! [Heroine Edition]
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- SO! MUCH! SMEXTASTIC! BANGING!
- When our WOC heroine, working in the tech industry, tells off her racist, sexist, piece-of-shit boss with the best monologue in the history of monologues…?! Guys that tea was piping hot!
- Shy, awkward Sophia nerding out during her App creation brainstorm session WAS FAN-GODDAMN-GASMIC! It was next level competency porn.
- Our conflict resolution pops off not with “Rich Hero Saves The Day” but instead with “Rich Hero Networks So Heroine Can Save The Day!” MY SWOONS WENT SWOONY!
Favorite Character:
Oh Sophia, fo’sure!
While the book writes both characters hella well, it connects most with our heroine. She’s spunky and creative and she defies stereotypes in every conceivable way. Truly, our chick is a force of awesome NOT to be fucked with!
Sophia is a BAMF who doesn’t just hilariously & affectionately call her vagina a whore for lusting after the hero….She ALSO carries the novel’s conflict (all while the hero’s Issues™ fuel her lie.)
tl;dr? She queen WORSHIP! HER!
How smexy was the smex?
THIS HERO THROWS OUT HOT-TALK LIKE I THROW OFF BRAS!
His mouth did so much orgasmic stuff, like ejecting the words, “I can give you a tour. Or I can take you to the bedroom and bury my face between your legs. Your choice.“
How did my bitch-ass, weak-ass survive this hero…AND this heroine?! Like, her giving her man’s fingers some oral lovin’ was the hottest, sexiest, most dialogue-blessed scene on God’s Earth!
Our book starts with a photoshoot meet-cute that so sexually charged a bitch went comatose…then ends with the Holy Sex Trinity; finger blow jobs, car-sex & wall-sex!
NONE OF THOSE SHOULD BE HOT BUT OH MY ‘SPLODEY OVARIES IT WAS HOT!
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
"He and his dick were going to have a serious Come To Jesus talk about professionalism.”
*****
Sis: I can’t be in two places at once.
Her:Not unless you want to dissolve into a gelatinous glob of goo before bursting into tiny particles.
*****
“If a kiss could be deemed sex, she considered herself well and truly fucked."
*****
"When you let people define your world, it will always be too small for you."
Got any bitching to do?
A BITCH BE BITCH-FREE!
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
READ! INCLUSIVE! OWN! VOICES! AUTHORS!
Y’all peeps who dismiss characters because they don’t reflect your melanin aren’t just being problematic AF; you’re literally denying yourself so much good shit.
Exhibit A; THIS BOOK!
Scoring With The Wrong Twin had an explosively hot OTP, a supportive sismance, an excellently paced conflict, and tons of emotional, sexy nuance! It had all the things, hell- it WAS all the things. Imma need all y'all humans to read it. Right now.
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
MY FANGIRL BLOOMERS ARE FLOWERING, Y’ALL!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s a pronoun indifferent, non-binary AFAB disguised as a man running a long con & he’s her bisexual, Darcy-clone, new BFF.
Name That Trope:
- Sloooooow burn romtastic romance
- Gay Panic Is A Unicorn [It Doesn’t Exist]
- Prim & Proper stuffy hero falls for a DGAF free spirit love interest
- Non-virgin widowed heroine
- “We Can’t Be Together”
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- When the plot put our AFAB enby in a dress and DIDN’T pull the “Tada! They sexy now!” bullshit. MY FANGIRL HEART WENT POP!
- How the 3rd act’s internal conflict is half-resolved by both the hero’s dad’s lover & the heroine’s BFF butler rocking dialogue that did big things to the plot…and to my feeeeeeeeeeeeels!
- How both our leads shared an equally remarkable character arc?! Her living her truth as her enby self, him learning money for the sake of money means nothing? Romances with social commentaries are hot don’t @ me.
- When our hero called his heroine-induced-erection a “predictable bastard.” Fangirl lols are really real.
- THAT! REJECTED! MARRIAGE! PROPOSAL! Watching her defend her right to independence, and pushing against the gender role that marriage would place her in, was feministly amazeballs! It was a marriage rejection was so lit even Lizzie Bennet would be proud.
- OUR DARCY-TASTIC HERO! He is, and I quote, “so wrapped in layers of wealth & rank he’s all but invisible.” And when asked to dance he replies with “Why would I?” My happy squeaks were happily squeaky!
Favorite Character:
OH FUUUUUCK YOU, ME, FOR MAKING ME PICK! It hurts my heart to do it, but if I must? Under the threat of execution?! Fine… Charity/Robbie.
This heroine is a goddamn hero!
She owns her body & her sexuality. She shades capitalism. She tells the hero, “Get back to kissing me.” She is honorable and loyal and protective and reliable and badass and loving and giving AND I ADORE HER WITH ALL MY ADORBS!
How smexy was the smex?
I don’t wanna grump…but I gotta. Sorta.*
Honestly…the sex is super-duper rushed. We don’t spend much time (if any) on detail, so it feels pretty perfunctory. That said, I can’t truly call the sex a Point of Bitchery because, well…the plot didn’t have time for expansive Pound Town. Too much other great shit happened!
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
“Love carried a weight that was heavier than honor or prudence.”
*****
“Fine. If she wanted pleasure, he could give her that. If she wanted to break his heart more comprehensively than might otherwise have been the case, then so be it. His heart was hers to break.”
*****
Robbie/Charity: Well, there’s no point to having money unless you spend it, and there’s no point to having rank and privilege unless you use them.
Alistair: My ancestors used all of the above to hold orgies.
Robbie/Charity: No, they used them to be happy. And for them, I suppose that meant orgies, although one might wish they could also have found happiness in establishing hospitals or endowing artists. And think of how inconvenient it must be to have one’s happiness hinge on orgies. I think I pity your ancestors. Consider the logistics.
Got any bitching to do?
NONE!*
*see 2 above
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
This is the best Woman Disguised As A Man book I’ve ever read, and frankly? It’s what EVERY incarnation of this trope should aim to be.
Gimme heroes who give 0 fucks about their newfound or longtime sexuality. Gimme AFAB enbies (or trans!) love interests that live their truth in all the ways that means!
Because fuck gay panic and fuck gender roles.
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
Good Book Noise™ + minor complaints = alllll the words.
OTP feels are the best feels.
One Sentence Summary:
She’s his BFF’s fireball sister-in-law, & he’s a shy, virgin, Football player with a big ol’ crush.
Name That Trope:
- He Loves Her But She’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ About Him
- Bearded, Man-Bun-Having Jason Momoa hero + Outspoken Tinkerbell heroine
- Temporary houseguests = forced proximity
- Long distance relationship FEEEEEEEELINGS!
- Heroine with an identity crisis
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- When our hero Dex worked his infant-magic and, among other things, wore a chest babysling to carry his nephew?!?!?! My ass went Fangirl 9000 over this baby-whisperer gender role reversal!
- When Fiona fucking OWNED her backstabbing co-worker. I’m so here for women standing up to toxic women.
- Literally every single time our man was putty at Fiona’s feet; HE WAS HER SEXY HAPPY-PUPPY!
- The fact that we got a black! gay! football player! When our straight hero shared playful, flirty banter with him because Dex’s masculinity isn’t toxic, fragile, OR homophobic!? I lived.
- How immediately after the One And Only Time hero-hottie majorly fucked up, he owns his fuck up with a genuine, real-ass apology!
Favorite Character:
FUCK YOU, ME, FOR MAKING ME PICK!
Fiona: Diminutive in size, big in personality! Voices her thirst and her thoughts whenever she feels like it! Is bold! Has Issues™ and opinions! Kicks creative ass!
Dex: Big in size, quiet in personality! Has secret lust and keeps his thoughts to himself! Is restrained! Has Feelings ™ and thirst! Is a secret photorealist painter!
How smexy was the smex?
EXPLODES OVARIES! COMES FOR YOUR LUST! IS HOT!!!! Seriously, this book does it all.
There’s everything from 1st-kiss-turned-public-dry-hump-fun [followed by Dex shutting down Fuck Boys], to a fingerbang session [followed by Dex grinding his horniness against the counter while fixing Fiona breakfast in post-orgasmic bed], to dirty talk, to outdoor beard-on-titty action!
Also did I mention Mr Sensitive Soul Dex has two Frenum piercings?!?! A BITCH WASN’T READY!
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
”Some guys are alpha dogs, snarling and snapping. Dex is more like a silverback gorilla, quietly going about his business until something pisses him off and he gives a warning.”
*****
Dex: God, I love the way you smell.
Fiona:And how do I smell?
Dex: Like happy dreams and well-fucked woman.
*****
“Life is like some messed-up game of Boggle, it shakes us all up and we land where we fall.”
*****
Fiona: I’m just not used to waving my own flag about stuff like that.
Dex: You don’t have to wave your own flag anymore, Fi. That’s my job now. My privilege.
Got any bitching to do?
Yeah. The book ended. So rude, what the fuck?!
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
The Game Plan is a book where neither a synopsis nor a review will do the novel justice. A lot of what sells this crackalicious story are either spoilers, or the simplicity of being in Dex and Fiona’s heads.
But! If you like cinnamon bun heroes with a dirty mouth? If you love force-of-nature heroines struggling with life goals? If you enjoy emotionally driven stories that wreck you in the best way?
Well, my awesome fellow human, then you want this book!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s a widower who was married to his brother, & he’s her former BFF who’s been in love with her forever.
Name That Trope:
- Forbidden love [that’s not REALLY that forbidden]
- Unrequited hero crush crushes hard!!!!
- Quality mental illness rep out the wazoo
- Introverted shy hero who can’t do words
- Bisexual curvy Muslim-family mom heroine = <3 <3 <3
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- When unsent emails literally became the most beautiful, romantic thing in the world! Y’ALL, I AM STILL SWOONING!
- Anytime Sadia rocked her sexuality & her love of sex; BROWN CHUBBY GIRLS OWNING THEIR BODIES IS MY FAV!
- Every scene wherein found family is just as important as blood family - and the fact that blood family ain’t always healthy family.
Favorite Character:
Our gal Sadia, FO’ SURE! For one, I connected with her an ass-ton more. For another, I adored everything she was and everything she represented.
This woman dealt with emotional & mental health issues, both of which were a big part of her character and her character arc. My ass loved Sadia all the more for it.
How smexy was the smex?
A strange mix of super-duper sexy dialogue…annnnd foreplay/post-coital moments set to light-speed.
The hot? Sadia demanding Jackson, and I quote, “Get on your knees and lick me.” [swooooon!]
The not? The fact that I literally can’t remember anything else about their sexy times. The scenes felt short, forgettable, and pretty vanilla.
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
Sadia:What about us? What do you want from me?
Jackson:I don’t want anything from you. My dream is for you to let me love you. And maybe, someday, you can love me back. You don’t have to love me a lot. A little love is enough.“You don’t just decide to love and suddenly everything is fine. Love takes practice. Love isn’t passive, it’s active. A verb.” - Grandpa
Sadia: Why were you involved in the protest?
Jackson:Because it was wrong.
Sadia:That’s not even your country, though.
Jackson: Principles don’t have borders.
Got any bitching to do?
Sadly…a lot. The plot tension just didn’t work for me, even though “She’s My Dead Bro’s Wife Who I’ve Loved Forever” IS ALL MY CATNIP!
Problem was, Jackson struggles sooOooOOOo much with accessing his emotions that he feels shut off, even from the reader.
Plus our hero’s ENTIRE conflict is that Sadia’s off-limits because she was his bro’s wife. Yet when gal tells him they were unhappily married, with divorce on the horizon, WE GET NO REACTION! They bang, there’s a time jump, & we skip right over the OTP learning each other’s bodies & developing intimacy; both physical and emotional intimacy.
So, alas, grumpy fangirl is grumpy.
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
That panda hiding his head in shame is legit me in my book feels.
Because the characters were lovable! The family dynamics were beautiful! Hell, the heroine was a brown girl from a Muslim background who also beautifully own her sexuality!
There’s a lot to love in the book, and it doesn’t bore…it just didn’t grab me like I expected it to.
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels,HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
If this book were any hotter, the sun would be jealous!
Y’all I got fangirl feels mixed with rant wrath!
The mixed book feels are real, y'all.
One Sentence Summary:
She’s a “Beast” with a disability, and he’s a hot playboy detective who’s keeping her under witness protection.
Name That Trope:
- Beauty & the Beast Retelling/Reimagining
- “Be My Mistress, Never Mind; Be My Guest!”
- Sasstacular witty heroine with a tortured past
- Carefree sexy hero with epic horny pants
- Class divide set among the working class
- Historical Not In A Ballroom
- Forced proximity via temporary housemates
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- SO MANY BATB REFERENCES! A “short & stout” (teapot nursery rhyme, anyone?) housekeeper! The wardrobe shout outs! The snowball fight!
- Every scene where Abigail clapped back at Michael! I lost count of the times this super witty, super smart chick verbally slayed his ass for dinner.
- The 647 times this book emotionally fucked me up with a sentence or paragraph. Socially conscious woke shade throwing! Poignant pain poetically prosed! This book got it all, y'all.
- When Abigail walked up to Michael butt-ass nude & all dude could say was “I, ah, I did not, ah, naked.”
Favorite Character:
Oh for sure, Abigail! Her emotional narrative was way more hard-hitting than Michael’s.
While both are witty and engaging characters, your heart feels most for our heroine. That’s partly ‘cause gal is a tough survivor, & partly because she’s heartbreaking.
How smexy was the smex?
HOT…but brief. The sex has DAAAAAMN good dialogue, but the scenes don’t last long. And yet!
We got a “Hero Catches Heroine Masturbating” scene, and for that alone the Pound Town deserves my love! Female self-pleasure AND a hero who gets a jealous, who-sexing-my-crush Rage Boner which turns into a Boner Boner? Yes, bless!
Throw in Michael’s “Say my name or I won’t let you come” bed talk, and I fangirled til I couldn’t fangirl anymore.
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
Michael:If you continue to talk like that, I shan’t be responsible for my actions.
Abigail: Men of your ilk never are.
*****
“She walked until her knees began to throb, and then she walked some more, welcoming the ache. Pain was a language she understood. Pain spoke in stops and starts, in the sudden unexpected stab, in the unnatural twist of a joint. Pain did not make false promises, nor give false hope. In its unpredictable, selfish nature, pain became a friend she could trust. There was no use making plans. Pain would creep in at the slightest provocation, without warning or due course. To win against pain, she simply must exist. Every waking moment was a victory.”
*****
Michael: You’ve as much right as any man to seek your pleasure. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.
Abigail: An entire society cannot be wrong.
Michael: It most certainly can.
Got any bitching to do?
Sadly, there were a couple police policing scenes that made me yawn.
And, infuriatingly enough, this book pulled the Virginal Sex Pain game! THIS IS NOT A THING, PEOPLE! For the last time, the hymen doesn’t work like that. If a healthy woman’s first time having sex hurts, then she’s either not aroused enough OR she’s not relaxed enough.
Translation? That means hero sucks at sex!
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
Despite its occasional lulls, overall the book was a good read!
Sure, the heroine’s “beastly attributes” felt less significant than most batB retellings. But! I can see what the author was trying to do within the scope of the story. And yeah, I side-eyed the crap out of this couple’s first sex scene. But! Their intimacy was amazingly beautiful and equally intense.
Guys, this historical romance took us out of the ballroom! It gave us a working class romance that explores classism, poverty, & survival. The writing was art, the characters were real, & the romance was gorgeous. GOOD READ WAS GOOD!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
One Sentence Summary:
She lives with abusive fundamentalist parents, he’s the good “Bad Boy,” and they meet on her front porch every Thursday evening.
Name That Trope:
- Panties-melting New Adult erotica
- Bad “good girl” seduces good “bad boy”
- Betatastic artist hero GONNA SNATCH YO SOUL!
- Free-thinking sheltered heroine GONNA SNATCH YO FEELS!
- Body positivity + female sexuality = book crack
- Heroine-only 3rd person deep POV hits dat sweet spot
- Hero w/ social anxiety? Yes please thank you.
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- After the meet-cute, Awkward Hero’s love-language is him asking our gal “You want me to make you a playlist?”:-)
- When our heroine Evie seduced our cutie-pie hero…from behind?! She wrapped around his back like a vine & it was SOLAR FLARE VOLCANO HOT!
- The fact that loooong before Swoony Bad Boy showed up on her doorstep, our sheltered heroine wasn’t a stranger to her clitoris OR orgasms.
- When it was revealed Evie has a FUPA. My happy squeaks were real!
- Every moment our dude was consent-tastic. SO! MUCH! WIN!
- When the book gender-flipped the “Yay we gonna sex/let’s just talk"trope!
- DAT ALMOST-KISS/1st-KISS SCENE!!!!!!!!! Hottest damn thing I’ve ever read in MUH LIFE!
Favorite Character:
I -ADORED- Van… but since the book is only in Evie’s 3rd person perspective, I’m stuck on her; and I ain’t mad about it!
This heroine is a vibrant, lovable woman who grows into herself by the end of the story. Every fiber of your being roots for her freedom and her happiness!
How smexy was the smex?
SO HOT YOU GONNA DIE! All of Evie’s intimate moments either advance the narrative or her character development, and each is hotter than the last. The OTP’s PIV sex is just as hot as their intense couch-make-out sessions!
There’s on-page female masturbation complete with a sex dream. There is dirty talk that’s as liberating for Evie as it was ovaries-exploding for me. There was honest communication about sexual wants & needs. THERE WAS PAIN FREE VIRGIN SEX, Y’ALL! [explodes into happy firework]
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
“I would never forbid you. I can’t forbid you. It’s not in my power to, and it never should be.” - Van
*****
“Take your hand away from your mouth, Evie. I want to hear you.” - Van
*****
Van: But I want you to be sure. You can’t grow back your virginity, you know. Evie:If I wait any longer I think my virginity’s going to come back with reinforcements.
*****
“There was a strange, bristling awareness of his presence running through her, as though he existed on a slightly different plane of reality and it was jarring against her own. He came from the X Dimension. And in the X Dimension, strange men got cloths filled with ice and pressed them to your head while you were sleeping.”
Got any bitching to do?
Maaaaaaybe it would’ve been nice to get Van’s perspective, since he isn’t as fleshed out as Evie.
But even as I say that… I don’t know if the story needed his POV.
Had the narrative voice been divided, it’s possible Evie’s story would have only felt half as powerful. Besides, even without his perspective, Van’s dialogue & his body language bring him to life! So, the jury’s still out on the bitching charge.
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
This book is the sweetest, dirtiest thing I’ve ever read in my life!
The writing style is raw without being torturous. Evie’s outwardly obedient nature minimizes her abuse, so there are no on-page traumatizing scenes.
The sex & sexual tension are explosive, the writing is flawless, and the book is amazing. Like, Bree Bridges from the writing duo Kit Rocha recommends Sheltered, SO YOU KNOW GOOD BOOK IS GOOD!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s caught in a compromising situation, & he’s her convenient beta husband- WITH SECRETS!
Name That Trope:
- Lifelong family-friend acquaintances
- Hero So Beta, HE GONNA END YOU!
- “I’m Not Good Enough For You, Wife; No Really, I Sorta-Kinda Killed Someone”
- She’s crushed on him for years; Whoops I Love You, WAIT I SAID IT TOO SOON, OH NO, DRAMA!
- Conflict: Saying too much & not saying enough
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- When our gal tested if hero’s banal compliment on her dress was genuine by hiding under the table to quiz him on its color? I FREAKIN’ LOL-DIED!
- Every ding-darn-damn time hero got tongue tied trying to turn his thoughts into words. Dear Romancelandia: More adorkable heroes, pleaaaase!
- I mean, our heroine Jane opens the book kicking ass at the gambling table. HOW A FANGIRL NOT GONNA FANGIRL?!
Favorite Character:
I wanna say Jane [refer to my entry of bitchery 2 slots down for the Why], but I gotta say Edmund. Half the book’s conflict is because he’s Too Polite™ and honestly? That’s too lovable for words!
How smexy was the smex?
I…don’t know? I read this over a week ago. I got zilch, in both my notes and in my brain, about their Pound Town. Soooo…?
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
Jane: Say what you mean at once, or I will throw a shoe at your head.
*****
Edmund: I could quote you a poem, but I can’t talk about you like you’re food.
*****
“Their family ties were coarse and brittle, nothing but habit. Sometimes people did not belong in the family they’re born into.”
*****
“It wasn’t a perfect simulacrum. The buckram hat was a too-plain cousin to the great cockaded semicircles worn by England’s naval heroes. But then, Edmund was no hero. He was just a man in a costume, hoping to make his wife smile when she saw him. Her kirtle and skirts were a respectable brown, yet just the burnished shade to brighten her hair: a study in gold and copper and wood-dark brown, all rag-bagged together. Yet she was no precious metal, to be hammered into a delicate form. She was vivid and strong, like earth itself, and her mouth had been painted the red of sin. He had a sudden, vivid urge to tip her over a table, tumble up those skirts, and drive into her from behind.”
Got any bitching to do?
My ONE and only complaint is Jane. She’s awesome! She’s real! She’s grounded in her own person!…But her internal conflict is solely on how Edmund feels about her. It makes sense within the context of the story, and it iswell written. But nothing else consumes her as a human being. At all.
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
Yes, this book has got a big ole flaw. YES I wish said flaw wasn’t there. But hot damn, dude, the thing was fun!
The writing snatched my brain into both characters. Plus it rocked a bad guy plotting to break up our OTP by using their own relationship doubts. This is my kinda external conflict. Good book was goooooood!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
I have (mostly) fangirling to fangirl!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s a plain “beauty” come to stay in his castle and he’s a cursed forest beast creature.
Name That Trope:
- batB retelling with more blood, more sexy times, & more terrifyingly awesome magic
- Sismance gonna snatch yo heart!
- Betatastic beast who’s scary on the skin, but purdy on the heart
- Brave AF alpha heroine w/ 0 filter
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- The OTP Meet-Cute. (She gives him 2 black eyes!)
- All the hilarious couple banter; my hearttttttttt!!!
- Dude! When our gal literally almost shot Gaston 2.0 between the eyes? I swooned.
- Anytime Mr Beast was respectfully considerate with his kindness towards everyone…[which was 24/7!]
- Every instance this retelling made the source material badass; bloodthirsty sentient rose, curse origin more compelling, magic mirror not being a 1-time MacGuffin!
Favorite Character:
BOTH! I SHAN’T PICK, YOU EVIL ASS-BUTT! Ballard was a man after my own ass & I wanna be Louvaen when I grow up. Both characters made this book, and this reader, 100% theirs.
How smexy was the smex?
Niiiiiiice! We got a heroine who owns her sexuality who rocks the “I Touch Myself When I Think About You” song. We got enthusiastic consent. We even got Louvaen as the one who pursues humpity-hump! This all makes my heart dance a happy jig.
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
Ballard listened to her passionate dissertation without interrupting. Louvaen Duenda had an answer for most things and an argument for everything else. She didn’t debate; she went to war.
*****
Louvaen: I can’t accept this, my lord. It’s too fine a gift, and I am no queen.
Ballard: You are, Louvaen. You’re simply uncrowned.
*****
“All you have to do is breath, and you seduce me.” - Ballard
Got any bitching to do?
None. While I didn’t fall as hard in love with this book as I did with Radiance, it is still phenomenal! It’s a solid fantasy romance & I want more, dammit.
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
Beauty & the Beast retellings are always my favs, hella more so when they’re done this well! Everyone in this book’s world are compellingly real as our leads. They’re given as much character growth & depth as the romance, and I loved them all the more for it. I just didn’t want the story to end, and that is always a sign of Good Book Noise™!
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels,HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
MUCH FANGIRLING AHEAD- PROCEED WITH ALL CAUTION!
One Sentence Summary:
She’s Puerto Rican reality TV show dancer, he’s her new Mountain Man celebrity partner from a family reality show about Alaskan life…and they’re supposed to be the next big showmance.
Name That Trope:
- Big Strong Silent Betatastic Hero
- Takes-No-Shit Alpha Heroine
- Sloooooooooooooooow burn, HAAAAAAAAAAAAWT sex!
- Sexual Tension + Dance Partners = Figurative Sex On A Dance Floor
- Her Deal: “We’re Not Gonna Fake-Date Because I’m A Professional!”
- His Deal: “All I Care About Is Her Job Security, So I’ll Win So She’ll Win!”
- Different Worlds = she gotta live in LA, he gotta live in Alaska, SHIP MUSTN’T SHIP!
What part made you fangirl squeal:
- When our Walking Giant hero was caught on a crowded train but refused to bump past peeps in fear he’d hurt someone! <3 <3 <3
- ALL DAT AWESOME FEMINIST AF WORDAGE! Gina’s professionalism & commentary on the industry’s double & racist standards? Her as the expert, him as the newb?! SUCH GOOD!
- Their 3rd act conflict when they fight in a healthy, communicative, respectful way! That. Shit. Is. My. Jam.
- Two words: video message. That sexy feely hero shit will make yo’ heart pop right out yo’ chesticles!
- Whenever Gina gets complimented, she replies with a confident, competent “I know.” Yaassssss, queen!
- When Stone gives Gina a neck massage that started with kindess and ended with me fanning myself! MUCH! SWOONY! HOTTNESS!
- [I literally might never shut up, someone take my keyboard away from me.]
Favorite Character:
Fuck you, self, for making me pick! Gina is an alpha WOC with autonomy, agency, personality, & competency. Stone is what every goddamn hero should be; a respectfully considerate man who don’t get butt hurt over a woman with power.. I REFUSE TO CHOOSE!
How smexy was the smex?
So explosively erotic that I died & came back again. You gotta wait half a book before the sex gets sexing, but trust a bitch; you gonna love every second of the wait…& the payoff. There’s dirty talk & mutual laughter during foreplay & beautiful deep POV! Plus? Gina & Stone are both dominant & submissive in bed together, each flipping the roles in orgasmic ways that left me swooning for Jesus!
Whose Line Is It Anyway:
“Gina. You don’t have to be alone. I won’t make you choose. I love you, and I’ll follow you wherever you want to go, to the ends of the earth, if need be. Let’s chase your success.”
*****
The spotlight of fame is always harsher on women. - Stone
*****
“When did you decide you wanted to be a dancer?” She paused with the spoon in her mouth, pulling it out slowly as she thought. Killing him. She was fucking killing him. In bike shorts and an oversized tank top, with a yogurt spoon, she was killing him.
Got any bitching to do?
Nope. But if this book doesn’t win one of its 2 potential RITA awards, thenI’ll start bitching.
Visually Depict Yo Book Feels:
Famous last words:
There’s way too much to love in this book, starting with the writing neither romanticizing nor demonizing reality TV and ending with the romance a lifetime!
There’s feminist gender commentary. A betatastic hero. Sexy hot tension. Deep POV. A POC heroine. Lit internal conflict. A+ world building. Female competency porn. Consent for days! This book got it all, y’all.
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For a more in depth, LOL-fest discussion on romance novels, HERE BE MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
[INSERT LOUD HAPPY NOISE HERE!]
