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“Hope is a bloody battlefield of disillusion. It’s gonna take sacrifice. All the blood that we’re bleeding, could fill up a broken heart. The secrets we’re keeping could be used to light the dark.” RUNAGROUND – Anti-Gravity
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I glanced over to the other side of the garage. Mikey and Draken were sitting together, their heads close as they discussed something, most likely about Toman. I’ve been thinking a lot about Hanagaki, not just about if he’s okay but also about what he was going to say. It seemed important and it keeps nagging at me. The biggest hurdle is working up the nerve to ask them if I could leave without making them suspicious. It’s not like I can just, ‘I’m just going to go find my time travel buddy because he has information about the future. No big.’ And what if they insist on coming with me? And even if I do manage to get free from them, what if I –
No, focus on one step at a time or you’ll fall on your face. You got this.
Taking a deep breath, I stood up and approached the two. When they noticed me, they stopped talking, so they clearly didn’t want me to know what they were discussing.
“What’s up, Jaybird?” Mikey grinned, leaning back in his chair.
“Ah, well…” Okay, so maybe I should have put some more thought into a plan before I decided to come over here… I’ll just have to wing it. If Onizuka Eikichi can do it, how hard can it be? “I was wondering… I mean, can I… I need to…” Fuck, this is harder than I thought. If they would just stop staring at me like that, jeez.
“What is it?” Draken asked softly, his eyes locked onto my own. Was his gaze always this mesmerizing?
“I… would like… go out for a bit…”
“Oo, sounds fun!” Mikey jumped up. “Let’s go!”
Shit. “N-No, I mean… uh…” Why does he gotta look at me like that? He looks like a puppy. Why do I feel like he’s gonna look like a kicked puppy if I reject him? But it has to be done. I have to find Hanagaki! “I need some… alone time.”
“Huh?” Mikey tilted his head to the side, a frown on his lips. “How come?”
Should I just play the period card? Ah, but that would be embarrassing to say in front of Draken. Still, it’s a pretty powerful card to have in one’s deck…
Draken stood up, brushing past us without a word. We watched him curiously as he pulled something off one of the shelves at the back of the room, returning with something in his hand, which he held out to me. “Take this.”
I blinked at the flip phone he was holding, slowly reaching out for it. Man, I haven’t held a flip phone in ages. This is filling me with a sense of nostalgia and sadness because damn if that truly wasn’t ages ago. How far we’ve come in ten years.
“All three of us are programmed in already. If anything happens, we’re all on speed dial.”
“Am I number one?” Mikey questioned, reaching for the snacks on the table.
“No.”
“Who’s number one?”
“I am.”
“Eh~ No fair, Kenchin.”
A smile tugged at my lips as I looked at their numbers in the contact list. “Thank you.”
Draken shrugged, looking away. “I figured you’d want to get out on your own at some point, but it’s too risky if we can’t contact you.” His eyes met mine and he folded his arms over his chest. “Don’t go too far. And you better reply when I text you.”
“If you don’t, Draken might destroy the neighborhood trying to find you,” Mitsuya snickered, earning a glare from the taller boy.
“I would not.”
“You definitely would.”
“No one asked for your opinion.”
“Thank you.” I bowed my head, slipping the phone into my pocket. “I’ll be back soon.” I waved at them, heading for the door.
“Before dark!” Draken called after me, a scowl on his face.
“Yes, mother.”
Mitsuya snorted as I shut the door.
I released a breath, mentally patting myself on the back. That’s hurdle number one cleared. Now… I just have to find Hanagaki… with no general location and no way to know if he’s even still in the past. Sounds easy enough. I supposed the best place to start would be the park. That’s where I met him the first time, maybe I’ll get lucky.
But when I got there, the blonde was nowhere in sight.
Where should I check now? Surely he wouldn’t be at the place he got beaten up so badly… right? Honestly, I’m nervous to go there. I’m already having trouble forgetting his fucked up face. To my surprise, he was there, sitting on the steps and staring out at the water, his elbows resting on his knees. I glanced around and he was thankfully alone.
“Oi, meet any time travelers lately?” I joked, meeting his eyes when he turned around. His face was completely healed and I released a breath of relief.
“It’s about time you got here. I was waiting for you.”
“Yeah, well, we didn’t exactly make plans, did we?” I sat on the steps beside him with a sigh, leaning back. For a moment, we just sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company.
“How the hell did you get involved with Toman?”
“Hell if I know. Ken saved me after I first arrived here. And then he saved me again. And then again…” Jeez, talk about a fucking damsel in distress. What a joke. I clicked my tongue. “I guess he took me in as his pet project after the first saving.”
“You’re on a first-name basis,” he looked at me with disbelief. “With the second in command of Toman… Just who the hell are you?”
“Just a no-life hermit trying to make it through the day.” I frowned at him. “I’m no fighter. I’m too weak, too much of a coward. This world that Ken and the others live in… it ain’t for me, but I’ve been forced into it and I don’t know how to get out.”
He gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry…”
“What’s done is done. I just want to figure out why you can leave and I can’t.”
“I have no clue.” Hanagaki shook his head, angling his body toward me. “But, I do have a lot to tell you.”
“Oh?” I sat up, looking at him curiously. “I’m listening.”
“Do you remember the night we met? At the park?”
“Yeah.”
“When I told Naoto about his death, it changed the future.”
“Well, no shit. Humans aren’t supposed to know about their deaths, ya know.”
“He’s alive,” Hanagaki stressed, his eyes meeting mine.
“Alive? Seriously?”
“Yes. And now he’s helping me change the past.”
“But why?” I furrowed my brow in confusion. “He’s alive, right? What else needs to change?”
Hanagaki’s face fell and he lowered his head, hands clenching into fists. “Naoto survived, but… his sister is still dead.”
“Ah… your girlfriend…” I frowned, resting my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “I’ll do whatever it takes to save her, but…”
“But?”
“How much do you know about Tokyo Manji?”
“Nothin’, aside from knowing three of its members.”
Hanagaki stood up, beginning to pace in front of me. “In the present, Tokyo Manji is a criminal organization that has the police chasing their tails. They’ve taken the lives of so many people, including Tachibana.”
“Wait a minute, that can’t be…” I pulled myself off the stairs, feeling my heart beat quicken. “Those guys… there’s no way they would do something like that! Sure, they’re fucking terrifying but they… they’re good guys. Honorable guys! You saw them, they broke up the gambling ring that you were part of.”
“I don’t know what happened or when things changed, but in the future, Toman is completely different from what it is now.”
I couldn’t believe it. The thought of Mikey and Draken becoming hardened criminals… delinquents are one thing, but murderers?
Hanagaki reached forward, taking me by the shoulders. “We have to figure out what changed. I know this is a lot to ask, especially since you’re here because of me, but… please, help me save Tachibana.”
I looked into his eyes, glistening with unshed tears. I could see the love he carried for her in his heart and I wanted to help, but what can I do, really? I’m completely useless. Can I really turn him down when he’s asking me for help? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own misery that I forgot he’s alone here, too. He may have Naoto in the present, but here in the past, he only has himself and me. I took a shaky breath and nodded. “We only have each other to rely on, so… I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you… thank you so much!” He pulled me into a tight hug and I could feel his tears on my neck. “Thank you.”
Tears stung at my own eyes and I looked up at the sky, trying to keep them at bay. Damn me for being a sympathetic crier! I patted his back, letting him cry as long as he needed to.
When he finally pulled away, he looked apologetic again, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“There’s… one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Naoto… wants me to kill Sano.”
“What?!” My eyes widened, heart clenching painfully. “Y-You’re not thinking of… of…”
“Of course not. I’m not a killer…” He ran his hand through his hair. “That’s why we have to find out why they went bad. And I’ll talk to Naoto, see if he can figure out why you can’t return like I can.”
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On the way back to the garage, I was totally out of it. I thought that by talking to Hanagaki and getting some answers, I’d feel more at ease, but it had the opposite effect. I feel restless, uncertain of what’s to come. Trying to wrap my head around Toman going bad, around Naoto wanting Mikey dead… and asking Hanagaki to kill him! I know he said he wouldn’t, but… love is pretty powerful, isn’t it? People have killed for less in the name of love. I want to trust him, but I’m terrified he’s going to do something stupid out of desperation.
One simple action changed the future… it kept someone alive. I always figured something small could alter the path of the future, like trains switching tracks, but to hear that it happened, to know how it happened… it’s surreal. I rested my hand on the garage door, frowning at the feeling of the metal beneath my fingers.
Every action has consequences. That’s just a rule of life, but it feels even heavier when you know it can change the future. How much have I changed already with my choices? Have I saved someone’s life? Ruined it? Maybe I shouldn’t care so much. Self-preservation should be top priority… right? I sighed, resting my forehead against the door. Why is life so complicated? This is all giving me a headache.
The door suddenly swung open and I yelped as I was thrown back, landing on the gravel with a wince. Mikey stood in the doorway, blinking down at me owlishly before grinning. “I was just gonna go looking for you, Jaybird!”
“Well, you found me,” I muttered, rubbing my hip.
Draken came up behind him and clicked his tongue. “I told you it’s dangerous to just burst through the door like that.” He stepped around the shorter boy, reaching his hand out for me. “You okay?”
I looked up into his eyes, feeling emotion swell inside me. How am I supposed to believe that this man becomes a fucking criminal? He’s been nothing but kind to me except for when I didn’t listen, and that’s only because he was trying to spare me. And the way he cares about Mikey! You can’t tell me someone that caring turns into a criminal. My eyes slid over to Mikey. This guy is supposed to be the boss of a criminal organization? Sure, he often acts before thinking and he can be a bit slow when it comes to some things, but he’s not a bad guy. An image flashed through my head – Mikey on the ground, covered in blood, his eyes lifeless. No, don’t do this to me, brain. Stop…
Mikey frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Why are you crying?”
“What? I’m not -” I reached my hand up, feeling the wetness of my cheeks. Damn it all. I furiously wiped at my eyes, but they wouldn’t stop. “I’m s-sorry…”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Draken kneeled beside me, his arms bringing me to his warm chest. “We’re right here, it’s okay.”
Mikey kneeled at my other side, his hand on my head. “Who made you cry, Jaybird? We’ll take care of them for you.”
“No!” I cried, pulling away so I could grab the front of Mikey’s shirt. He looked at me with wide eyes, surprised by the outburst. “Please… I…” What could I say? ‘Don’t become a criminal and murder thousands’? I doubt that’s the career track he wants to go down. Something changed, something so drastic that it altered the way he viewed the world around him. Telling him now would be useless. To change the future, we have to change the past. No matter the consequences, I’ll do it. I couldn’t hold myself as I reached forward, taking Mikey’s face between my hands. “No matter what happens, I’ll protect you. I won’t let you fall.”
His head tilted to the side, confusion clear on his face. “What are you talking about?”
I realized what I was doing and quickly pulled away, looking at the ground. “Sorry…”
“Girls are so strange,” he chuckled, ruffling my hair. “We’re going to be protecting you, not the other way around~ Now come on, the food’s gonna get cold!”
I watched him head back into the garage and I smiled, wiping at my tears again. Please never change Mikey. Stay true to your heart.
“What happened?” Draken whispered.
Shit, I forgot he was there. My face heated up and I looked over at him, meeting his gaze. His brow was furrowed, his eyes searching mine for the answer to his question but even if he found it, he wouldn’t understand it. “Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” he scowled. “You’ve been hiding something since the day we met and it’s clearly bothering you. I thought if I gave you time, you’d open up to me. Do you not trust me?” He tried to hide it, but I could see hurt lingering in his eyes and it made my heart ache.
“Of course I do. More than anyone.”
“Then why?”
“Because! It’s… really complicated.” I ran my hand through my hair in frustration, leaning back against the wall, my eyes on the sky. “I don’t even understand it myself. It’s confusing and terrifying and I… I don’t know what to do.”
He frowned, reaching forward to rest his hand on my cheek, his thumb wiping the tears from my eyes. “Maybe we can understand it better together.”
I reached up, hesitating a moment before resting my hand over his own. “I… really want to tell you.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“It’s dangerous.”
He chuckled, quirking a brow. “You saw what we deal with. Dangerous is kind of our thing.”
“A different kind of dangerous.” I sighed deeply, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth of his hand. It’s strange to me because I honestly hate the heat. I hate feeling warm, but… I find myself craving his warmth, wanting more of it. I wouldn’t mind if he suffocated me with it, honestly. Jeez, what am I saying? “I promise I’ll tell you, just… not right now. I can’t, I’m sorry.”
Draken released a frustrated sigh, looking away as he thought over my words before looking back to me, his expression soft. “I’m holding you to that promise. Don’t forget you’re not alone. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, we’re here to share the burden. You’re one of us, Jae. Don’t ever forget that.”
A smile tugged at my lips as our eyes met, tears stinging at my eyes again but I held them back. “Thank you, Ken.”
He returned to smile, swiping his thumb softly across my cheek before pulling away and standing up. “We should get inside before Mikey eats all the food.”
Tags:User discretion is advised. MDNI, hurt, heavy angst, mentions and descriptions of miscarriage, stalking, emotional abuse, vivid imagery about miscarriages, trophy wife, runaway wife, hiding, strong language, slight yandere themes, panic attacks, grabbing, mentions and descriptions of sex, regret, mentions of Emma, mentions of divorce, one-sided love, a desperate Hanma, brief moments with Kisaki, too many messy emotions in general
Damn. This took hell lot of time ngl (╥﹏╥) It was worth it tho. I took almost three months to complete this because of all my exams and tests in between and was busy balancing my own schedule and concentrating on making myself better. I really hope y'all like it. I felt like I went overboard with the crying here and there but that is justified, afterall, after what Y/n was put through. This the last and final part btw. Enjoy! I’ll link a smol playlist I made for this. Listen to it in order, music makes the reading experience way better, trust me.
|Part 1 | Part 2 | Playlist | Asks about Affliction are open |
By the time Hanma had collected his bearings, leaving the mansion in pieces as the aftermath of his shock, he notices the blue crockery set on the table, laden with food.
He’s shocked.
After some examining, he realises that there was food, and lots of it, and by judging the copious number of boxes in the refrigerator, there was enough to last for one week.
He doesn’t know what to feel.
Guilt eats him alive.
“What have I done?”
He asks himself, repeating the sentence like a broken record.
Hanma sinks to his knees, hands clutching at his head, as the taste of tears register to his tongue.
The only person who stayed constant for the longest time was gone.
Just like that.
Like the first flash of thunder; beautiful in its own fearful way.
The onslaught of emotions he felt at the reality of the circumstances catching upto him was overwhelming. Overwhelming as the events of the day he lost everything grip his mind.
This was the first time he was being frank with himself. The first time he let himself to feel, to kneel on the ground and finally let out the tears which needed to fall. To finally let himself feel the weight of the loss, to revel and bathe in the pain.
To let the burn of abandonment reduce him to the ground and feel what he loved to inflict upon others.
To finally let her see what was underneath the mask of indifference he’d lived under his whole life.
But the thing was, she wasn’t here.
She wasn’t. And by the way her voice seemed to break more and more with each word on the recording…she wouldn’t ever look back.
