#samuel hayden
Samuel Hayden: I’m taking the custody of the glaives, you irritating ugly mystic-ass Bahathussy.
Somnus: so short sighted and-
Samuel Hayden: I’m very glad you asked, a Bahathussy is an worn throat pussy for his bland as bread leader who didn’t even hide the fact he set you up.
Somnus: Yours is not-
Samuel Hayden: Fuck you.
(I’m so close to just making a side blog specifically for this.)
Somnus: let me have my protagonist back, I need to stop the star scream.
Samuel Hayden: let’s see, what did you do with the last protagonist?
Somnus: made him burn alive because he’s an unclean foreigner.
Samuel Hayden: …
Samuel Hayden: get out of my office Lucy.
Somnus: we have to do this, every descendant must suffer and we must kill people discriminately if they show the smallest sign of illness. I mean bahamut said I have to, idk how he put my brother I killed in cold blood as the head of the evil he said he can’t control, but we must make everyone suffer.
Samuel Hayden: this isn’t progress… It’s madness. The board understands the peculiar nature of your ‘work’, no one is in the dark in what those sacrifices mean to-
Somnus: Humanity
Samuel Hayden: your ego you draconic dick sucking bitch.
Samuel “we need energy, probably should’ve forced Olivia to just shut up and take the meds instead of her demonic essential oils” Hayden
is more of a hero than
Somnus “I purposefully neglected to do shit so I can have each of my descendants suffer for CENTURIES all because I love sucking bahamut’s dick because he’s the only one that likes me after I go on an illness genocide” lucis calbitch, I mean calories, I mean caelum like we see him.
Also he’s smarter, because he didn’t choose to charge Nyx and try to kill him when all he wanted to do was save people. And you know realizing that it’s not worth fighting the Doomguy.
(since everyone that gives a shit about the doom eternal lore hates it and is vehemently ignoring it, i thought i would join in, too)
(some notes: vega and the father aren’t the same person. vega was made by samur combining maykr tech and hell energy, so he has some divine powers, but he’s not god or anything. also, samur himself is very much centered around the human portrait you see of him as hayden in doom 2016, as he’s a humanoid demon taken in by the father who took pity on him when they saw the dude bleeding out on the ground in jekkad. he’s disgusting and i love to hate him.)
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samuel hayden: i only further traumatized the doom slayer by giving him powers he did not ask for in an extremely painful manner for the good of humanity
