I had the honor of being a guest contributor for @shieldandking, an FFXV zine centered on the Shields and Kings of past and present. I’m very excited to finally share my work!
Fast sketch comics about Ardyn, Somnus and Aera. I’ve been inspirited by Final Fantasy 15: Episode Ardyn and my favorite Temple of the Winds (series The Sword of Truth).
Samuel Hayden: I’m taking the custody of the glaives, you irritating ugly mystic-ass Bahathussy.
Somnus: so short sighted and-
Samuel Hayden: I’m very glad you asked, a Bahathussy is an worn throat pussy for his bland as bread leader who didn’t even hide the fact he set you up.
Somnus: Yours is not-
Samuel Hayden: Fuck you.
(I’m so close to just making a side blog specifically for this.)
Somnus: we have to do this, every descendant must suffer and we must kill people discriminately if they show the smallest sign of illness. I mean bahamut said I have to, idk how he put my brother I killed in cold blood as the head of the evil he said he can’t control, but we must make everyone suffer.
Samuel Hayden: this isn’t progress… It’s madness. The board understands the peculiar nature of your ‘work’, no one is in the dark in what those sacrifices mean to-
Somnus: Humanity
Samuel Hayden: your ego you draconic dick sucking bitch.
Samuel “we need energy, probably should’ve forced Olivia to just shut up and take the meds instead of her demonic essential oils” Hayden
is more of a hero than
Somnus “I purposefully neglected to do shit so I can have each of my descendants suffer for CENTURIES all because I love sucking bahamut’s dick because he’s the only one that likes me after I go on an illness genocide” lucis calbitch, I mean calories, I mean caelum like we see him.
Also he’s smarter, because he didn’t choose to charge Nyx and try to kill him when all he wanted to do was save people. And you know realizing that it’s not worth fighting the Doomguy.
Somnus is a massive donut hole, he says he has to fulfill a prophecy and everything MUST and just HAS to be done this EXACT way with MURDER and DEATH no rly guys, but in truth was never actually meant to stick himself into an actual hole of a donut. But there he goes, ruining a perfectly good iced and sprinkled donut.
His “I’m sorry” apology the bitter and 2000 year old taste not justifying never ringing up Ardyn Adele-style or making positive changes. Then he has the nerve, the fucking gall to tell Nyx who’s cursed to never see things. Boy you had two whole centuries to figure this shit out, also:
1. Who put you in charge of the court?
And
2. Of course you don’t give a single shit for insomnia because it wasn’t your work going into it, your work was burning anyone that had, oh no wait, looked like they may be ill and stabbing a woman to get your jimmies knocking.
You know after all this the rest of those “round knights” gangbeat him into the dust for wasting their time and everyone else’s.
Hell, 2000+ plus years and this was it? The big payoff? The thing you subjected everyone else to? Did you get the big nose? Did you get your colorful wig? Did they finally make a clown car regalia for you to drive around in you mad cow?!
