#sappire personal

psyducked:

Pokemon Blue was my first video game ever and I still have some painful memories.

When you first start the game I had no idea that to exit the house you have to stand on the darker patch of ground (which I later learned was a doormat) and press down because I assumed that would mean walking into a wall. Two hours later, I finally exited and found the lab and Oak was not there, so I left and explored the town then went back and he still wasn’t there, so I left my character sitting in the lab waiting for him to return and I’d sometimes run back home but only quickly for fear of missing the professor, and it took 5 hours for me to try leaving the town. I hadn’t acquired Flash before Rock Tunnel so I navigated the entire thing in pitch black (and back then you didn’t even have a circle of light). I got so comfortable with the slow pace that when I got the bike and zoomed forward I got so scared that I never used the bike again. It took me months to get into Saffron because I never thought to get something from the vending machine for the security guard to drink so I wandered around for ages trying to find things to do—I’d even wait just before his line of sight to see if he’d turn away. I used only one Pokemon to fight (my starter Bulbasaur) for the entire game so I beat the league with a level 80-something Venusaur and only used Razor Leaf every single time and when that ran out I used leech seed + solar beam. I used my Master Ball on a Snorlax because it took me so long to get passed his blockade (recall how long it took me to get through Rock Runnel) and I thought he was the ultimate Pokemon.

This was absolutely me when I saw six with my first Pokemon Red. I knew nothing of Pokemon prior to the game and I literally only picked it up at a garage sale because it had a dragon on it.
The doormat thing had me stumped for a few minutes, and the only reason I left town as quickly as I did was because I came to A Very Serious Decision that  was going to be a rebel. I assumed by not waiting around long enough for Oak to introduce himself that I could charge ahead and be labeled as a rebellious trainer and be a lot cooler in-game. I also assumed I could just catch my first Pokemon as I had no idea starters were a thing. I assumed something as cool as Charizard was just going to be a special boss later in the game.

Once I got that squared away, though, and spent about a day and half lost in Viridian because I didn’t know how to return Oak’s parcel, you know what absolutely scarred me for life?

Viridian freaking Forest.

There were no steps leading out of it and no doormat to mark the exit, so the only exit I knew of was the southern one back to Viridian City. The northern exit was just a black wall with a sign in front of it with some kind of trainer tip that had nothing to do with getting out.
I legit spent a week in that forest.
Every day I’d try interacting with a different bunch of trees and defeated trainers and see if something had changed to let me escape the horrible forest all the NPCs kept warning me was a giant maze. Every day I’d fail and have to save among the trees in defeat.
Eventually I forgot how to head south.
I got confused in the little wiggly path on the northernmost end of the forest near the exit that eluded me for so long, and I thought I was going in actual circles because all of the up and down paths looked alike in Red and Blue.

I was trapped.

I spent another two days in that horrifying loop alone and I just cried over my Gameboy every minute of it because all I could think of was that all of my Pokemon were going to die in the forest and it would be my fault.
I also had no concept of stat modifiers being temporary in battle- I started crying at another point because all the bugs (naturally) kept using string shot and I thought the lowered speed stats were permanent. I remember actually going to my mom in tears because my Pokemon were going to be so slow by the time I finally got away from the bugs. I’d have to replace them all and they’d never be useful again. It took another several months before I noticed the stat pages didn’t actually change.

And the music.

To this day the Viridian Forest music from gen I makes me want to cry. Other kids were scared of Lavender Town, but I was scared of Viridian Forest. I had nightmares about Viridian Forest. You could torment me by just playing the Viridian Forest theme and I would dissolve into tears and beg you to stop.
I had to play with the volume off because the music made me so incredibly upset.

Finally, after nearly two weeks of being stuck in that horrible forest (only finding my way back to Viridian City for a heal because my Pokemon used Struggle until they all fainted and I blacked out), I went up to the dead end in the forest and started jamming the A button. I was so upset and scared and worried about my Pokemon that I was going to jam that A button at the black wall until the game did something or my Gameboy broke. I just wanted to move on and get my Pokemon healed at a new city and maybe go shopping like the nice lady with the mean grandpa.

And then, by some miracle- some glorious miracle- I accidentally hit the ‘up’ button.
The black screen scared me to death for a split second because I knew if I had actually broken the game I’d never be allowed a replacement, but then I realized I had stepped through the exit.

I was out of the forest in a totally new gate building with totally new NPCs and I remember cranking the volume back up just to hear the glorious sound of my triumph.

I cried the entire way to Pewter and vowed to never go back in the forest again.

I never did, I was terrified of it and legitimately never went through that forest again until I got Yellow a year later.

I then proceeded to challenge Brock with a level 9 Charmander, a level 7 Metapod (that only knew Harden), a level 6 Kakuna, and a level 5 Pidgey. I had no potions left after the forest and lost spectacularly.
I immediately challenged him again with zero leveling up and lost again.
I lost to him about a dozen times and realized I was never going to get past this city with my weak Pokemon and panicked because I had survived the forest of death and torment and more death only to end up at this weird new city that I couldn’t pass.

It felt like it took an eternity, but ultimately it was probably a week or so later I finally defeated Brock with a level 17 Charmeleon that solo’d the entire battle (I hadn’t trained anyone else) and somehow managed to come out on top.

The rest of the game was spent just leveling up my Charmeleon because I thought we could win against anything if we just had enough ~friendship.~

Misty was a nightmare.
I don’t even remember how long I was stuck on her because Charmeleon was the only one I had at a high level and I didn’t know that the local Oddish would be strong against her if I took the time to train them a little.

I do remember getting the bike, though, and insisting on riding it everywhere and running into everything. Just everything. People. Buildings. For some reason it moved too fast for me to control.
But the music was so upbeat.

And Lt. Surge, the first gym leader I wasn’t at a disadvantage against? Yeah, Charmeleon evolved into Charizard literally the battle right before him.
Guess who got downed by Thundershock over and over and over again because she didn’t know electric types were strong against a Charizard?

Me.

That’s why whenever I see how they’re making the new games easier and more user-friendly and simpler for kids to understand I can only be grateful that the next generation isn’t going to have to suffer through what I did. It might make fond memories (like pep-talking to my Charmander’s stat screen as if it would help us not get beaten to a pulp for the tenth time) but my gosh I would not wish that on any unknowing child. If they want a challenge and want to go in blind, that’s one thing.

But generation one was merciless and unforgiving and mildly traumatizing.

We just got what is possibly the best news we could possibly have gotten right now and I want to cry but I’m too happy to cry.

We’re going to be able to afford food again.
We can afford medical copays again.

I am so thankful right now.

*installs XKit for the first time*

… WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS.
THERE’S A POKEMON RELATED EXTENSION?

Update on kittens being loose in the house that I was 99% sure I had already posted?:

They eat everything. I have seen these three cats eat things that I have never seen cats eat in my 21 years of having cats.

The one brother of the group has decided he’s now the alpha male and is having to learn that harassing his elders will result in a timeout. He does not approve and is trying to learn how to turn the doorknob in the timeout room.
He gets unnerving close to managing this.
His favorite pastime seems to involve laying on top of me and keeping from moving for hours because he looks infinitely too cute to disturb.

The small sister is tiny and remains tiny. Small sister is also apparently part Siamese because all she does is wail for attention and rub against my face.
But she’s tiny and cute and I love her anyway.

The bobtail sister is a vacuum in cat form. I don’t know how she finds the things she eats but somehow she finds them.
She’s also mute (we talked to the vet and it doesn’t seem to be any cause for concern since she’s otherwise as healthy as a horse) but incredibly talkative so all she can do is run up to see you and making excited hissing noises. It’s the most heart-melting thing ever and she’s learned it always wins her a shoulder ride around the kitchen. She’s a manipulative little ball of floof.

That said, the three have been doing really well over the past monthish and the older cats have adjusted to them. Most of them have made friends and aside from the brother’s attempt to climb to the top of the pecking order everything has pretty well settled and is working out great. :D

Yeah, it’s definitely up there as one of the worst calls that have to be made, but it does get a little easier in time. Calling the vet for Moony was the first time for me and it was the roughest, but for Elvis and Tricky it was a tiny bit easier. Such is the life of a pet parent! D:
There’s that one quote that talks about how every time you lose a dog they take a part of your heart with them and leave a part of themselves behind and, eventually, your heart will be more canine than human. That’s how I feel with our cats! They take a part of me with them, but I’ll always have a part of them with me in its place. :3
I also have two parts dog in there, but they were good puppers who got along with our kitties so they can stay too.

But oh man, LGPE is so good!!
I was only able to get it and a Switch because I’d been helping to keep the budget kind of straightened out for a few months, so we’d managed to save up a little. It was definitely a lifesaver as a distraction, too, so I think it was a good advance birthday/Christmas investment. :D
As a bonus I even ended up with a shiny Chansey and Onix! Riding a shiny rock snake around Kanto is amazing.

It makes me really excited for the game due out next year!

Hi!! :D Oh man it’s been ages akjdhsjdh.
It’s nice to be posting again and plodding around Tumblr, even if I have a ton to catch up on!
I’m hoping I can get back in the habit of posting here on the regular again! c:

Whee, updates!

Short summary (because it gets reeeeally long under the read more and I totally don’t expect anyone to read everything):
Pupper died, kitty died x2, mom’s in a wheelchair because the VA is terrible apparently, epilepsy is still a thing, money’s still a bit tight, and our winters are cold.
But! Video games are fun and I’ve adopted a new feral kitty and her kittens! Also I’m trying to make a game now! And my uncle is nice enough to take me to church whenever he can! :D

• Still living at home with mom; still have epilepsy, still not able to work or drive, still trying to earn my keep by helping out around the house.
• Last winter we had some pipes burst! I’ve had to master the art of DIY plumbing and got it mostly fixed but it was way more stressful than it should’ve been and that was preeetty much why I vanished on here again.
  
• I don’t recall ever putting it on here; our dog, Elvis, ultimately passed away about a year or so after my step dad did. He ended up with cancer and we had to put him down. He was a good pupper right up until the end and I had to do my darnedest not to cry in front of him since he was such a sensitive bab. At the time, our car was in the shop and we had to call for a taxi. The driver was insanely kind to us and put up with us putting a hundred pounds of dog in his backseat, and didn’t charge us extra when we asked to stop at a gas station to get some junk food to drown our sorrows in. He also told us the story of how he put his own dog down, and how sorry he was to hear it had happened to us, too.
• One of our cats died- Tricky, our big black kitty. She got cancer, as well, and when we couldn’t get her to eat even with taking something to increase appetite we had to have her put down. She was an absolute sweetheart and the vet let me hold her while they gave her the injection.
• I’m pretty sure I posted on here when our other kitty- Moony- died year before last? In case I didn’t: It was kidney failure. There wasn’t anything that could be done. He became joined at the hip with me when he first started getting sick, and having to make the call myself to have him put down hurt.
• More kittens happened!! We had a feral kitty (feral as in you didn’t want to approach her or she would probably attack) that was best friends with Elvis and used to eat and sleep with him for protection against our other feral cats. After we lost him, we kept putting food out in his bowl for her to eat in the garage. That became primarily my job and after working with her for around three years (I’d started trying to work with her before Elvis even got sick) she started approaching me and rubbing against my legs. Then she proceeded to have kittens and I had to activate CODE ADORABLE and we adopted all four of them- and her! The kittens were darlings and one in particular (named Cobbler now) considered me his second mother, but it was pretty easy to coax them inside the house once they were around three weeks old. Mama cat followed them and we led them into a spare bedroom. That was two years ago, and they’ve all been fixed and given their shots and they’re a bunch of healthy little babies! Cobbler is still the mama’s boy, though, and he won’t eat in the morning unless I pick him up and talk to him for a good few minutes.
• Pokemon!! Pokemon has been something of a saving grace for me! Between car break downs (which happen every few months it seems), doctor appointments, and just life being generally not fun, Pokemon has helped keep me a little sane. In the past year and a half I’ve played through around… seven games, including the USUM and LGPE. Let’s Go Eevee is stupidly fun, for the record, and Eevee, Mew, and I are steamrolling over Kanto and finding shinies along the way.
• This spring! This! Past! Spring! I saw someone reblog a post on here talking about turning characters without a set backstory into a fighting game, then someone added to make a dating game and included links to Ren’py and a few other engines and whoo boy. I decided to try Ren’py and I got hooked and now I’m making a game I guess?? It’s a weird mix of point-and-click, dating sim, and adventure at this point. I’m making it entirely myself (art, programming, writing/plot) and it’s been super fun!! My art’s improved a lot as a result and I totally need to share game progress on here!
• My mom’s wheelchair thing is a loooong story. In an effort to keep it a little short: basically her VA doctor ignored her back pain, sent her to physical therapy, ultimately drove her into a wheelchair. Not fun.
• This past November was a mess of no sleep and little food and I’m still kind of reeling from it. Slowly getting back into the swing of things, though!
  
• Throughout all of this, I’ve been super grateful for my uncle!! He lives an hour away and preaches at a church in his city, but he makes a concentrated effort to come and pick me up once a month to go to church with him and have a meal with his congregation. He also sometimes drops some food off for me and my mom when he knows things are particularly tight for us. I’d never tell him and he probably doesn’t realize it, but he feels like the closest thing I have to a dad these days. <3

I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE FAMILIAR NAMES IN MY NOTESSSS.
It’s been so long I’m not even sure how to address replies any more aksjdfhksjdf TIME TO WING IT

@theriu replied to your chat “Me: Hmm…”
HEEEEEEEY I’M STILL HERE! :D Welcome back! I was just thinking about you the other day, hope you’re well!

AAAH???
HELLO AGAIN AKDFKHDF
Oh man, time away from Tumblr or not, a part of me still has a mini heart attack seeing you pop up in my activity feed?? I DO NOT DESERVE SUCH A NICE ARTISTIC ROLE MODEL. ; w;
I’m so glad you’re still here though!! Now I can resume following your exploits! And your amazing taste in reblogs! :D
And weeping as I try to catch up to your level of art mastery because I’m gonna get there one day.

@paperairplanemob liked your chat “Me: Hmm…”

Aggressive hugging Eevee still has a score to settle with you.

@datarsiah-noodles replied to your chat “Me: Hmm…” Hi! You’re back! I was thinking about you! I was hoping you were doing OK!

SIAAAH.
SIAAAAAH.
FOR SOME REASON I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO BE AROUND AND NOW I AM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT.
IT’S BEEN SO LONG.
OH MY GOSH AKHSFKSKFH I’M STILL TRUCKING ALONG BUT HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??

@borrowedmediocrefiction replied to your chat “Me: Hmm…” I’m still here, and it’s always good to hear from you!

FELICITY.
I’M GONNA CRY I NEED TO SEND YOU A MESSAGE OR SOMETHING TO CATCH UP AKJSKF
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND BECAUSE I AM EMOTIONAL NOW GOSH DANG IT. ;A;

@rejnka replied to your chat “Me: Hmm…” hi person i followed just because you posted about glitch pokemon can you post about glitch pokemon thanks

Hello back, person I don’t know!!
To be honest I totally do want to post about glitch Pokemon again, I just gotta find my muse for it! I probably should go poking around the list of glitch Pokemon and their various effects for inspiration; I still absolutely love the little glitchy babies and they have a ton of potential that’s gone surprisingly untapped by the Pokemon fandom~

Me: Hmm, I was hoping to try and get back on Tumblr in October, but then life kind of exploded. Maybe I could step back on now to check up on-

Tumblr: EVERYTHING IS FLAGGED AS EXPLICIT NOW

Me: … Ah.

Tumblr: BLOGS AND THEIR POSTS ARE OUT OF ORDER

Tumblr: BUT ONLY SOMETIMES

Tumblr: GOOD LUCK FINDING RECENT POSTS

Tumblr: OR EVEN A HINT OF METHOD BEHIND HOW THEY’RE SORTED

Tumblr: ALSO EVERYONE IS LEAVING

Tumblr: ARE THEY LEAVING BECAUSE WE HAVE A HIDDEN AGENDA WITH MALICIOUS INTENT OR BECAUSE WE’RE MAKING POOR DECISIONS??

Tumblr: WHO KNOWS

Tumblr: BUT THE GREAT BLOG PURGE IS NIGH

Tumblr: EVERYTHING IS PROBABLY ON FIRE

Tumblr: NO BLOG IS SAFE

Tumblr: DOOM AND DESTRUCTION AWAIT YOU ALL

Me:

Me: Ah, it’s good to be back.

Apparently my guess of becoming inactive after Pokemon Sun and Moon came out was 100% on the mark.
I’ve spent the last couple weeks getting together all my old teams from gen III to bring up to my Sun game and only /just/ finished today.

I have over sixty Pokemon that I’ve accumulated since my first playthrough of Ruby back in the day, and even successfully recreated my old 1998 team with the VC version of Red.
(I’m working on my old Yellow team still, but at least I’ve got them started!)

I also need to apologize to all the daily Pokemon blogs I’ve been mass following but apparently I’ve reverted back to the age of six and I’m just devouring every Pokemon-related thing I can find again.
Next comes the Pokemon stickers ending up on everything.

I’m even kicking around over on @charizard-daily for the extra art practice when I should be trying to post more often here.

Somehow my brain has had its Pokemon switch flipped and doesn’t know how to turn it off. ; A;