#scheming

Dealt with a phone customer this afternoon who I’m pretty sure had a five second memory. Imagine this conversation carrying on for twenty minutes:

Customer: “So, you don’t have the pink/multi or the blue/multi [cardigan] in size small, but you have the turquoise and the orange in small?”
Me: “Correct.”
C: “Because I called back on October 2nd, and the woman I spoke with said she’d put the pink/multi on hold for me; but when I called the next day it was gone. Isn’t that weird? It was just gone.”
M: “We only put un-purchased items on hold for up to 48hrs. After that time if we don’t hear back from the customer, we put the items back on the selling floor.”
C: “But I called the next day, and it was gone. Isn’t that weird? It’s so weird. The lady told me to call each week to see if any have come in, so… have any come in?”
M: “No, we only have the pink/multi in medium.”
C: “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And what would you wear with the turquoise?”
M: “… jeans?”
C: “Would you wear khakis with them?”
M: “I don’t own any khakis, so no… I probably wouldn’t wear khakis with that cardigan.”
The woman pauses before asking, “And what would you wear with the turquoise?”
I’m thinking, “Seriously? I just answered this.” I reply, “Probably jeans.”
C: “And the azalea? What would you wear with the azalea? Khaki? Do you like the orange or the turquoise better? I guess the turquoise is busier than the blue/multi… What about the turquoise and the azalea? I suppose the azalea is more versatile. What would you wear with the turquoise? Khaki?”

Rewind… repeat… rewind… repeat…

…Twenty minutes later…

 
C: “It’s just so weird. You have the medium in the pink/multi and the blue/multi, and when I called your store on October 2nd you had them in the small. Then they were just gone. That’s so weird… I might go with the small in the azalea. It’s three dollars cheaper than the turquoise and more versatile… but since I was promised the pink/multi and then it was just gone when I called back to purchase it, which is so weird,right? It’s so weird. Since it waspromised to me, is there anything you can do about the shipping charge? Like waive the shipping charge?”
M: “No, ma'am. There’s nothing I can do about the shipping charge. If we put that cardigan on hold for you, and you didn’t call back within the time you said you would, then it was put back on the selling floor. You do realize this is a retail store, right?”
C: “But I called the next day, and then it was just gone. You had two left, and then it was gone. That’s so weird, right?”
M: “Ma'am, this is an outlet retail store. We sell things. We don’t make promises that certain items will always be in stock; we’re continuously discontinuing and marking down stock.”
C: “So, can you see if you can do something about the shipping charge? I might buy the azalea if you can waive the shipping charge.”
M: “Sure. Hold please.” I leave the woman on hold for a few minutes before coming back to the line saying, “Yeah, we’re not going to be able to waive that shipping fee.”
C: “Oh, okay. I’m going to have to think about that then. Goodbye.”

Apparently five of my coworkers have unfortunately conversed with this woman over the past month. Stories confirmed: Lady is legit cra'y cra'y.

Several days pass:

So, cra'y cardigan lady called back again today… five times… being indecisive if she wanted to buy the tabasco color dress we had on hold for her or the black version the catalog has available. She almost bought the tabasco one we put on hold for her, but she would only buy it if we waived the shipping on this order seeing as we “sold the sweater we ’promised’ her.” She’s naming names now trying to get associates in trouble over the possibility of getting free shipping… over a matter of six dollars.  Had the catalog customer service put a flag on her account so everybody knows this lady is trouble.

*Reposted image that was meant to accompany this story simply because I could not for the life of me find my transcript of this conversation until just now.