#secret submissive
I was always sheltered. No R-rated movies until I was at least 16. Heaven forbid I looked at porn! I would actually be damned to hell if I branched into extra-marital sex or masturbated.
I broke all the rules. Every damned one of them. And enjoyed it, so I must’ve been a heathen. Slut-shaming may be looked down upon by portions of society now, but back then I was shaming myself for having urges that may be slightly “weirder” than usual, but natural nonetheless. I didn’t discover these urges toward being bound, humiliated and dominated until my first boyfriend did things to me that I wasn’t accustomed to, but liked oh so much. With my second (and most recent boyfriend), these things were missing. He refused to spank me, slap me, or “hurt” me in all the ways that I needed so badly. It didn’t work. Our relationship failed because he was too nice. He respected me enough to hold back, but he didn’t trust me or himself enough to believe that I’d know my own limits.
I know now that I can’t be in a societally “normal” relationship. I have a thing for kink. And I plan on.. exploring… it.
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- I love chocolate. And have a fantasy that includes melted chocolate being poured on me. My food addictions overlap with my sex life. It’s fine.
- I prefer not wearing clothes. I hesitate to say I’m a nudist… but really… it’s just much more freeing.
- That being said, I’m not 100% in love with my body… no one really is. My body does its job, and provides both me and whomever I choose with pleasure. It’s somewhat pretty to look at, but there are still issues I have with it. I’m allowed to pick at my body. You are not. There’s a difference… (unless you own me, and right now you currently don’t)
- I masturbate like four times a day. This may seem excessive, but it keeps me from having unsatisfying sex with strangers… and it would be unsatisfying because apparently college boys aren’t men yet. They don’t know what they want and they can’t give me what I need.
- I have not had sex in so long that I feel like a nun.
- See #4 as to reasons why I’ve discounted that notion.
- I’ve had two relationships - one good, one bad. The good one ended bad, and the bad one ended good.
- I’m super inexperienced. If you want me to list my sexual experiences you can ask me… Or I’ll just post them later. I’ve never made a list. This could either be interesting or very… brief.
- Hmmmm…. I’m a dog person. Or a kitten person. Not a cat person - a kitten person. Unless it’s a munchkin cat. And then I’ll take it. All day erry day.
- I cooked for my family growing up… I make a great spaghetti, even better mashed potatoes, and my Death-by-Chocolate cake will actually bring on a heart attack. It should come with a warning label. Your cholesterol may spike.
That was interesting… maybe I’ll do more of these…
As ever, ASK/SUBMIT things! I want to hear about your lives! Give me your thoughts on… stuff.
I have this fantasy of being bent over a desk and spanked like a slut for enticing my (future) Master while he was at work… fingers crossed that one day it plays out.
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I’ve never been gagged, other than by my own panties, but I know it’d be both humiliating and exhilarating.
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After something that recently happened to me, and a very disturbing submission, I find it a little important to say that domination and the relationship between a sub and a dom is NOT the same as rape. When you rape someone, you’re not dominating them in the same sense. You’re violating their personal right of choice. Sexual molestation and rape are taking away the option of saying no, or negating “no’s” by not taking them into consideration, not stopping, continuing on with the dehumanization of whomever the victim is. Domination adds to the power of the Dom/Domme, by making him/her in control of the scene, but it also gives power to the sub. They willingly let go of their inhibitions with their Dom, and there are RULES in place. There are safe words that a good Dom will recognize, and there is CONSENT between the two. The sub can stop the scene if it becomes too much. The sub can say no. A sub is not a victim. A sub hasn’t had their personal rights violated.
This should be instinctual, and I hope society reaches the point of where I don’t have to think or say things like this anymore… choosing an alternative lifestyle is not choosing to be raped daily. Just because someone else doesn’t approve of what I want, doesn’t mean I will change those desires. And just because you sexualize me, and turn me into a symbol of desire, doesn’t mean that I will return the… lust. In fact, if you use language like “I want to rape you,” it’s likely that I’ll be more concerned for your well-being and the ones around you. Rape implies that consent hasn’t been given. You want to fuck me? Okay, we can consider it. You want to rape me? Sorry, but that’s going to be one big HELL no.
