#sherlock reader self insert
Sherlock x Reader
Summary: Sherlock has always had bad ideas… but this one is just ridiculous. After a spider bite renders the consulting detective unconscious, Y/N has to deal with her partner’s carelessness.
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“I don’t think this is a good idea…”
Sherlock turned to Y/N and grinned. “Well, it’s not the worst, either. How else will we substantiate the accused’s defence?”
“Allow me to rephrase,” Y/N began tensely. “This is by far the most ludicrous idea that you’ve ever had! And that’s saying a lot for you, Sherlock Holmes!”
“It’s perfectly sane,” he assured. “Even so, ludicrosity is the essence of methodical study!”
Sherlock and Y/N stood in St Bartholomew’s Hospital laboratory as they investigated their latest case which John had already dubbed ‘The Spider’s Web’. A woman, accused of killing her neighbour denied the charge, pleading innocent after an alleged spider bite incapacitated her throughout the thirty minutes in which the murder was surmised to have occurred.
Now, Sherlock and Y/N hovered over an illuminated examination table, where the case’s greatest piece of evidence awaited testing… the spider.
Y/N looked down at the arachnid crawling in the mason jar and cringed. “What are you trying to prove here, Sherlock?” she asked. “That you’re a reckless investigator with an unhealthy disregard for his own safety? We already know that!”
Sherlock looked up at her and quirked a brow, unimpressed. “If the spider bites me, and I blackout for a half hour, we’ll be able to prove the accused’s story. If I’m completely unaffected, we’ll know she’s lying and the Crown prosecutor can present my findings in court. Really Y/N, keep up.”
“Couldn’t we just ask Molly to run a toxicology test?”
“I like to be thorough,” Sherlock shrugged.
“You like to be showy is what you mean…” Y/N mumbled to herself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
Sherlock gave one last pointed look before pulling out a pocket watch and handing it to Y/N. “The moment I show any signs of wooziness or sickness after the bite, I need you to start taking time. Thirty minutes, Y/N. Remember that.”
“Sherlock, this is so dangerous!”
“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “I’ve done my research and gone through the preliminary analyses. I am absolutely convinced that nothing will happen. The accused is clearly lying, I know that to be a fact!”
“What if something does happen?” Y/N pressed.
“I’m never wrong,” Sherlock insisted. “At worst, It’ll be a small nip. I’m sure of it.”
Y/N rubbed a hand down her face and sighed in defeat. “Alright Sherlock. If you’re sure.”
“I’m positive.”
Y/N gestured towards the waiting spider and looked at Sherlock deliberately. “Go ahead,” she invited.
He made a move towards the mason jar but stopped short. “No kiss for good luck?” he inquired.
“I thought you said that nothing would happen.”
“Well yes, but it would be nice.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes and Sherlock stifled a laugh. “No, you’re right,” he said. “You’ll owe me a kiss after I prove you wrong, and show you that this experiment is completely safe. The accused is guilty and her story is nothing more than a rouse.”
Flashing Y/N a self-assured grin, Sherlock carefully shrugged off his coat and rolled up the sleeve of his dress shirt. Y/N watched as he lifted the mason jar to eye’s length and squinted at the small creature inside. “It’s nothing more than a common house spider,” he said surely. “It could hardly incapacitate a fly, let alone the likes of me.” He lifted his other arm and dipped the jar above it, gently forcing the spider out. “Do your worst, old friend,” he whispered to the arachnid.
Y/N clasped onto the pocket watch tightly as the spider crawled the length of Sherlock’s arm. “Why isn’t it biting you?” she whispered. “I don’t suppose it’s agitated,” Sherlock whispered back.
Y/N tapped her foot, growing impatient. “Perhaps you should agitate it.” she said snidely.
“You’re beginning to agitate me, Y/N,” he retorted. “Perhaps you’ll have the same effect on the spider.”
Y/N smacked his arm playfully, giving him a jolt. It was there that the spider decided to bite.
“Ouch!” he cried sharply. “That’s curious. I wasn’t expecting such a sting.”
Y/N bit her lip and watched as Sherlock shooed the spider back into the mason jar. He was uncharacteristically quiet as he did so.
They waited a few minutes, but there was no obvious reaction. “How long has passed since the bite?” Sherlock finally asked. Y/N checked the time. “Five minutes and thirty seconds.”
He smirked. “Now you see darling,” he began smugly. “I told you that nothing would happen. As the world’s greatest consulting detective, I’m too apt for mistakes! In fact…”
Sherlock hadn’t finished his thought when his speech slurred and he stumbled back a step.
“Sherlock?” Y/N called warily. His knees buckled and Y/N reached out an arm to catch his tall frame. “Perhaps it wasn’t a simple house spider…” he mumbled. She wrapped her arms around him and gently lowered him to the floor.
“Oh no,” Sherlock moaned jaggedly. “Y/N, this can’t be happening! What have I done? All my life, I- I—”
Y/N dropped to her knees and held his head against her chest. “What is it, Sherlock? Does it hurt badly?”
“No,” he said weakly, his eyelids fluttering. “It’s much worse than physical pain, I’m afraid.”
Y/N felt a wave of panic course through her. “Don’t tell me it’s lethal!” she cried out. “Is this going to kill you? Are you going to die?”
“Not lethal,” he affirmed faintly. “I just can’t believe I was wrong. I’m never wrong…”
With that, the consulting detective closed his eyes. Y/N stared down at him incredulously as he began to snore softly. It wasn’t the spider’s venom that he was worried about. It was the fact that he had made a mistake!
Y/N rolled her eyes at his ego. “You’re an idiot,” she said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “But you’re mine, I suppose.” With the unconscious consulting detective resting on her lap, Y/N reached for her mobile and dialed John’s number.
“Doctor Watson here.”
“Hello John,” Y/N began. “Are you still near St Bart’s?”
“Yes, of course. Sherlock told me to stay on standby, though I’m not quite sure why.”
“It seems he’s a bit lethargic… knocked out cold, really.”
“Is he wounded?” John asked anxiously.
Y/N spared a glance at Sherlock and smiled at his unruly curls. “Yes John, he’s been wounded. Though it’s not what you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s mostly an injury to his pride.”
John sighed on the other end of the line. “I think I understand. Stupid experiment gone wrong?” he asked causally.
“Does he conduct any other kind?” Y/N replied with a laugh.
“On my way.”
Y/N tucked her phone away and looked at Sherlock still lying on her lap. “The wounded detective,” she mused. “This could have been easily avoided.” She watched his deep breaths and though she wanted to be annoyed at his stubbornness, she couldn’t find it in herself to reprimand him. It was as she had said before. Sherlock Holmes may have been careless, pompous, and snide; but he was hers.
“I know you can’t hear me,” Y/N teased. “But I think the accused is innocent…”
Sherlock’s light snoring was his only reply, and Y/N giggled. “Sweet dreams,” she whispered. “Is it too late to tell you not to let the bedbugs bite?”
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GiveFragmented Passions a try!!!
This was a weird one I’ll admit, and it was scarring. Just writing this fic made me itchy and yeah-no. I really hate spiders. Ack, I’m actually cringing… WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF??? Okay, now I’m genuinely scared, I’m checking every corner of my room just in case…
Oh, as for the title… arraignment and araña, get it???? Okay, no direct relation BUT law and spiders are kind of the theme for the fic sooo…
***If you’d like to be tagged in any future Sherlock fics, just tell me in the comments! (and if you’d rather not be tagged in ALL Sherlock fics, please specify; EX: Reader x Sherlock, Reader x John Watson…)
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tagging the great: @twisted-monster@starryeddie@high-functioning-lokipath@the-chaotic-cow@turkisherlockian@kabubsmagga@aephereal@andthevillainshallrises@cosbloos@cookiemumster1@eternal-silvertongued-prince@bogginsreadings @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson@lucywrites02@danzalladaggers
