#spuri blathers
Hey, sorry that I’ve been absent lately, guys. I took a mental health leave from social media to focus on some writing projects. It’s doing wonders for my productivity, so I’ll probably not be on much for a while still.
your “accidental” homophobia and transphobia as someone who oppressed both gay and trans people is DANGEROUS to us
I’m not gonna pretend it’s accidental, it’s the result of years of living in a homophobic society, and it’s something I have to work on, because I’m human and I fuck up.
But gay men making transphobic or misogynist jokes make the community unsafe for trans and wlw people, and vice versa. You are very eager to lump me with cishet people, because then you can justify the distinction. But like I said, I don’t even know if I’m cis. More than half the time, I consider myself agender. I just haven’t had the energy to find a label that seems to fit my gender identity.
Would it suddenly become unproblematic for me to make a homophobic joke if I’m agender? Of fucking course not. I still fucked up, and it was a joke I shouldn’t have made, and I need to do better.
And you keep treating it like attraction is the only way to measure sexuality. That because I’m not attracted to my own gender (what the fuck would that even be if I’m agender?), I can’t belong in those spaces (which seems kinda dismissive and bigoted towards NB people??), but my lackof attraction towards my perceived opposite gender is also a big deciding factor in what privilege I receive and don’t receive.
Dear aphobes and angry people saying asexual and aromantic people have no place in Pride,
Hate to break this to you, but you are bigots.
From dictionary.com, a bigot is “ a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.” But the core trait behind bigotry, what causesit, is a lack of empathy. The inability to see other points of view, or accept that others’ experiences are valid. You say asexual and aromantic people don’t face oppression. Because you haven’t experienced it. You haven’t seen it.
But how could you have? You’re not ace. You’ve never walked a mile in our shoes, and faced what we face. And I could come with endless examples of how society treats us and have treated us as other. Of how our medical care suffers the moment we come out. Of how we’re ostracized and othered. Of how we’re assualted. Of how a lot of aces struggle with mental health issues at some point due to our sexuality and how very poorly it fits with society. Of how aces have always faced the same choice all queer people have: live according to our identity and be seen as abnormal; or pretend to be like everyone else, enter relationships we’re not interested in, have sex we don’t want and die one small piece at a time.
But no matter what I say, it won’t matter to you. Because without empathy, you don’t have the tools to understand people who are different from you. And you can couch it in all sorts of reasons, make all sorts of excuses, but it doesn’t change the core fact: You lack empathy.
But aces too need suicide hotlines due to their sexuality. Aces too face medical discrimination. Aces too face violence. From the community we thought we were a part of, no less. Because there are people from those communities flooding ace tags and ace safe spaces with sexual content and sexual violence. With violent language towards asexuals and aromantics.
This is bullying, and this is violence. And I’m sure you think of yourself as good - most people do. And you’re making the assumption that a lot of people also do: That because you are good, what you’re doing is good, and right. That you could never be on the wrong side.
But here’s the secret: There are no good people. Only good actions. If you’re verbally or physically violent towards others; if you dismiss or belittle their identity and their struggles; if you dismiss their experiences, because they’re not yours, then you’re not good.
You’re a bigot. And a bully. And you should be ashamed.
