#stem major

Words fail to describe the frustration I hold that learning is often behind a paywall. Learning is fun until you have to pay a ton for classes, then pay for online tutoring to avoid failing by the scrutiny of exams.

goldensunset:

reblog game where you #cancel the previous person for something completely arbitrary

“We may live in an age of instant messaging, instant gratification and Instagram, but there is no way to short circuit the path to success.” - Tory Burch

24/06/2020, Wednesday.

I did it! On 10th June 2020 I graduated

Since my last post I worked on my thesis (wrote it in English, which is not common for undergraduate students), completed the PowerPoint presentation and kept attending on-line lectured. K. (my supervisor) was extraordinary! Yes, she left all the work for the very last week (almost died of anxiety), but when she got into it she helped me enormously

When the day came, I was more excited to present my work than anxious. I was worried because my graduation was on-line, but everything went perfectly. Family and friends could watch the presentation on the university YouTube channel ☺️

Even if graduation is enough, I could enroll for the postgraduate lectures I wanted! Double the joy

The downside is I had no rest time. I had to start study right after… But I try to do my best, I hope to finish exam in July

Any advice for a postgraduate student?

Personal life had been inexistent, all my forces are in academia. Not a big loss because in Italy there still are restrictions. I kept working out, but I need to do more because spending all my time in the house drives me crazy

It doesn’t matter how powerful you become, the fact of the matter is you will one day be reduced to a surname and first initial in the References section of an essay written by some dead-tired STEM major who breezed through your abstract and called it good.

Running outside with everyone in your dorm at night to try to catch the 2 minute downpour.

Moving your furniture around every few days until you can get your space exactly right.

Rooms glowing blue and red and purple and green, all lit with LED lights.

Music and vacuums at 10 pm and microwaves at midnight, the sounds filtering in through your closed door.

Spending a week and a half in your room studying and working, only leaving for those few in person classes and to get more food.

Scrambling at the last minute to join video calls and hoping you aren’t late yet.

Constantly searching for assignments, hoping you haven’t missed any hidden away somewhere.

Wondering how long it takes to develop a caffeine addiction as you drink more and more coffee than you ever have before.

An ever-growing list of things to do and watching TV and movies on your computer instead.

Washing dishes, cleaning your room, and running a load of laundry as stress relief and to avoid homework.

You have 12 hours of classes a week (18 counting labs) and each class gives 3 hours of homework and each class says to study for 3 hours per hour of class but you always need more that that to get everything done and that’s already about 70 hours without the extra time and you still need to sleep and eat and take care of yourself and have a life and there’s never enough time for it all.

Wondering if you’re developing insomnia or if your sleep schedule is just that fucked up.

Going to back to back chem lab and bio lecture starting at 7:30 am while running on 3 hours of sleep, caffeine, and quickly fading adrenaline.

Late night study sessions with friends and roommates out on the front lanai that gets a decent wifi connection.

Productivity hours kicking in at 10 pm and keeping you up until 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning.

Taking the 67 bus into Kailua for a Target run or walking to the Walmart downtown, carrying snacks, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies back on the city busses.

Going to Kailua Beach for 3 hours when you finally catch a break just to jump in the ocean again.

Convincing your friend with a car to take you with them on their next adventure.

Rolling out of bed and stumbling to the dining hall to try to wake yourself up with food.

Probably spending way too much money on boba at the Teaspresso Bar at the downtown campus.

Barely even hearing the helicopters going to the marine base anymore.

Lecture being put on a 5 minute hold because fighter jets are taking off and no one can hear the professor talking.

Your business major friend being unable to comprehend how much work you, a STEM major, always have.

Putting your hair up in a half pony/half bun thing to try to escape the humidity clawing at the back of your neck.

It’s sunny with partial clouds. You look outside and it’s raining.  It’s sunny with partial clouds. You look outside and it’s raining.  It’s sunny with partial clouds. You look outside and it’s raining. It’s sunny with-

Walking at night with a group of girls and being catcalled again.

Coming back from a beach at night, the only sober friend, windows down, blasting Led Zeppelin, speeding down the H-1 to the never ending cacophony of “I want to go to the beach!”

Making a vow to yourself that you’ll climb Stairway before you graduate.

Frantically rushing back from town at night so you aren’t late for 8 pm bio recitation again.

The wifi cutting out for 1-3 hours every few days, always just when you’re about to be productive.

Always be nice to the people working in the dining hall. They see you at your put-together best and your zombified worst.

Being simultaneously fascinated and grossed out as the local ant colony clears away dead bugs from the hallway.

Trying desperately to catch one of the lizards in your building.

Being warned to stay in the lit areas at night so you don’t have a run in with the wild boars.

Temporarily relocating a couch from the common area into your room for movie night with your roommates.

Hoping your RA doesn’t catch you without a mask on while you do your laundry.

Knowing your new therapist is going to have a field day with you. (She’s great though and I already love her)

Sending all your friends and family back home pictures when you do something fun, knowing you’re flexing on them.