I was lucky enough to write a blog post for Sincerely Essie, a great online community focused on empowering women! I talk about my experiences with distance learning and the Open University, and I’d really appreciate it if you gave it a read (and also check out the Sincerely Essie website!)
Psalm 4:8 I will lie down in peace, and sleep: for You, Lord, only make me dwell in safety.
Proverbs 3:24 When you lie down, you shall not be afraid: Your sleep shall be sweet.
Today, if you’ve been struggling with getting good sleep because you’ve been carrying the cares of the world, release them to God. Just say, “Father, I trust You. I trust that You are working things out for my good. I trust that You are ordering my steps. Thank You for Your good and precious promises, and thank You for the gift of sweet sleep! I receive it in Jesus’ name!”
I’ve been struggling with this. It’s my second week of the Winter Semester. I’m a university student. Academics stress and worry me a lot and affect my sleep. I hope this helps someone who is also struggling with sleep for whatever reason(s). May God help us all rest well! Amen
Hey guys! In case you didn’t catch it in my last 30dop post, I’m gonna start tracking #heydilli on tumblr so please tag me and I’ll try to boost your posts <3
30.05.2022 // Got in to uni early today to study. The barista put ice cream in my overpriced coffee :( Daily prompt: the two realisations that changed me as a person are probably not so profound but they changed me nonetheless. The first: I just realised that I don’t have to take everything so seriously. The second: there is beauty in every moment I experience, from my lowest lows to be highest highs, even if I don’t see it at the time, it’s there.
philosophy paper due friday but today’s been exceedingly unproductive… chalking it up to over-saturation, but tomorrow’s a new and fresh day ！☀︎ (and also one day till my deadline)
here’s a pic of my brown sugar raisin bread and peanut crisp mochi bun !! big yums to fuel the brain that did nothing today ack
look, i get the whole validation from english teachers thing (i really do), but can we talk about impressed upperclassmen who treat you like you’rethe upperclassman??
I wrote my first university level Spanish final about non-binary people who use they/ them in English which was 1) hard because it is a bit awkward to use neutral language and I don’t know any non-binary Spanish speaking people to practice on other than myself and I don’t use neutral words for myself in Spanish and 2) so fucking awesome to hit the ignore button when google docs tried to gaslight me into thinking elles isn’t a word because not only is there an elle user but there are two and together they are powerful
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
22/05/2022, Sunday.
I finished my exams
On the 12/05/2022 I took my last exam ever, it was Advanced Organic Chemistry. I still have to realise that I am free from studying!
Now I’ll start the master’s thesis. On Tuesday I should start the training in the lab, I hope to be independent fast. The sooner I do my analysis the sooner I can graduate and, who knows, maybe apply for a PhD!
Last week I went to a Polymers Conference, 5 days long. It has been inspiring, I’ve met young researchers/PhDs and talked about how it works where they are from. Honestly, I have a positive energy since I got back! I just want to do things and work in the lab
“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.” - Virginia Woolf
02/05/2022, Monday.
Here I am, after 10 months… A lot has happened! I stopped posting last Summer, waiting the new academical year to start. The first semester has been tough! I was worried about my health, my grandmother died and my parked car got involved in a car accident and ended up completely destroyed. I developed an anxiety problem. Psychologically I was overwhelmed, I had burnout before Christmas!
University had the lowest priority, I took a break.
Recovery started slowly on January, the process is long. I am a work in progress! I still study, but I have to be careful on the work-fun balance. Sometimes I still have panic attacks
I am currently studying for may last exam (can’t wait to be done with it!), trying to be gentle with myself. I am supposed to begin my master traineeship in a few weeks in the same research group I was in for the undergrad thesis.
To be honest, I just want to do something other than study and I need to be out of the house. Be at home, day after day is just exhausting!
“If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride.” – Karen Horney
29/07/2021, Thursday.
The past semester was a tough one! A string of lectures, laboratories and projects left no time for anything else.
The past academical year had been intense. I was excited to start and afraid to fail. It is over now, if I look back I could not be more proud of myself! I worked hard and passed every single exam with the maximum score, I would have never thought I could achieve these results.
Catching up:
✔ Advanced Physical Chemistry Laboratory: exam was on the 1st June. It was the third and last part of an annual course! I do not have to think about it anymore.
✔ Advanced Analytical Chemistry Laboratory: my group and I had to make a presentation on the 2nd July, we focused on soil and water elemental analysis. It had been difficult to focus on the presentation having so much else to study! I do not know how, but we managed.
✔ Analytical Chemistry: Environments and Materials: it has been interesting to study environmental chemistry. Understanding the mechanisms nature uses to defend itself against changes offered me the opportunity to reflect upon the anthropogenic impact on earth. Exam was on the 21st June.
✔ Physical Chemistry: Catalysis and Materials: it was the hardest one. The amount of material was insane and I felt submerged by it! In addition to the regular study hours (6-9 h a day) I had to present a project. It consisted in a graphical abstract, the image summarised the development of a new material. I presented it on the 26th July.
I am on vacation till the new academical year, my mind is a swirl of thoughts on how I should spend my time… Should I rest 2 months? Should I prepare for next year revising old topics? Should I find a traineeship?
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” - William James
21/04/2021, Wednesday.
Advanced Physical Chemistry Laboratory ended on March 31st. My group and I decided to be done with the report by this Friday, April 23rd. To make the work more enjoyable, I write and review from the balcony on my @onyxboox Note Air e-ink tablet
Advanced Analytical Chemistry Laboratory has stated on April 12th, I am enjoying it so far! We are running analysis on samples of our choice. My group picked: old tea cups, little paintings on gold supports, soils, almonds, a Bahamian banknote and a Coastal batik. It will be interesting to put it all together for the final presentation
Big news: lectures are held both on-line and in class. I cannot stat to express my joy
Studying home has its perks, but Italians lockdowns have been mentally difficult for me (and many others). Even though Piedmont (my region) is constantly shifting between slightly different restrictions, I have seen no difference in my day to day life; As my activities pre-pandemic were: attend university; workout at the gym (which has been closed from Novembre 2020, opening again who knows when); spend time with S. (thankfully I managed to keep doing it)
“The harder I work, the luckier I get” - Samuel Goldwyn
27/03/2021 , Saturday.
Catching up:
Winter exam session was brilliant. I passed three exams -Advanced Analytical Chemistry, Advanced Macromolecules Chemistry and Advanced Physical Chemistry- with the highest grade possible
It was difficult in the beginning, I thought I would not make it! I never passed more than two exams each session, and it never occurred to me to score this high. I am proud!
Exams ended on March 1st. On March 8th I was already projected in the new semester.
Courses:
Advanced Physical Chemistry Laboratory;
Advanced Analytical Chemistry Laboratory;
Analytical Chemistry: Environments and Materials;
Physical Chemistry: Catalysis and Materials.
The labs are strictly linked to previous semester courses, while the remaining two I chose (I reached the point, I can finally customize my academical curriculum)
At present:
I am currently attending Advanced Physical Chemistry Lab. Although I am not fond of the subject itself, I enjoy being back at university! ⚗️
In Italy it is still not permitted to attend lectures first person. I continue to spend most of my time on the computer. The situation is better than few month ago thanks to @onyxboox Note Air! I can’t do everything on it, but it hugely helps. I recently bought a bluetooth keyboard (Logitech, K380) and my e-ink tablet turned nearly into a computer ⌨
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
24/01/2021, Sunday.
Catching up:
On the 23rd December I had Advanced Macromolecules Laboratory exam, passed it super good;
I spent winter holidays at my parents house. Due to anxiety, I studied! But it was excellent to have good surrounding;
Returned home on the 4th January and studied ever since.
Helas, S. And I don’t live together any more… After our region downgraded to “orange zone”, he went back at his parents house.
Due dates:
24th January, Advanced Analytical Chemistry exam… Only two days left! How am I supposed to feel calm
3rd February, Advanced Macromolecules Chemistry exam. in one week I have to master all the exercises and the theory, I do not think I can make it! But I’ll try anyway
In the past year I had to study from home, which ment spending an insane amount of time on the computer… My eyes were screaming! As a Christmas gift I got @onyxboox Note Air. A life saver
I’ve been studying with it for four weeks and I’m in love!
“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value” - Albert Einstein
22/11/2020, Sunday.
University shifted to online classes two weeks ago, I am sad because I love attending lectures and the general university atmosphere! I am trying to study in advance and keep up with the program as we do it. Not anxious enough to be productive 24/7, but I am working way more than I was used to do in my undergrad.
The good news is: Laboratories are allowed! They are the most important and enjoyable part of the courses, only have 6 afternoons though… Better than nothing! 2 done, 4 to go
Personal life: S. moved in temporarily. It is the best option to keep seing each other during lockdown 2.0. Life with a “roommate” is going smoothly. I thought it would have been harder! It is to be considered that he keeps going at university in order to finish his traineeship, he’s out of the house during office hours (I still have my alone time)
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing” - Walt Disney
02/11/2020, Wednesday.
I started my laurea magistrale on the 28th September. Till now, I have been able to attend my lectures. The university has created an app to reserve your seat, it gives you a QR code to access the structure! ☺️
I do not know for how long we are allowed to go there! There has to be an announcement tonight/tomorrow. Worst scenario: everyone goes back to online mode! I fear I won’t be able to attend my lab this semester (6 afternoons! Just 6, let me do them!)
So far, I am attending three courses:
Advanced macromolecular chemistry;
Advanced physical chemistry;
Advanced analytical chemistry.
I decided to attend fewer courses than the average student. My hope is to better focus on these and get rid of them as soon as possible (winter exam period: late January -> early March) with the highest grade I can achieve
After 5 years, I finally have a proper desk! Before I studied in the dining room (luckily it was rare I had something left to do at home, I managed to finish everything at university)… I am creating my study space, it was about time! It is important to me, especially because I’ll be doing most of my work at home
“Starting is not most people’s problem, staying, continuing and finishing is.” - Darren Hardy
09/09/2020, Wednesday.
Advanced Inorganic Chemistry: yesterday I got the result, 28/30 it is a remarkable grade, especially with this professor. I am satisfied!
Passing the exam means I am free from university till the beginning of the lectures (it seems on the 28th September). I finally can rest, without worrying about my next step or study session or exam
It is the first time I relax for real after graduation! Bonus point: it’ll be the first birthday without working (25th September)
I know it may sound strange (considering the global situation), but I believe 2020 is my year! I graduated, passed two exams with excellents grades (gaining time during the actual master degree or laurea magistrale), had improvements done in the house (fells more mine now), kept up with training (I never look this good and never felt this healthy and energetic!) and my relation with S. is still solid
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier
18/08/2020, Tuesday.
Catching up:
Biomolecular Spectroscopy Laboratory went insanely good! 30/30 on the other end, I scored low in Advanced Inorganic Chemistry. I passed and not by chance, but it was just not high enough. Long story short, I’ll retake it on the 3rd September
Today is the first day back studying. Not really motivated yet, waiting for anxiety to kick in
Who else has exams in September?
Many readers are writing me, I am glad someone follows my adventure and find inspiration in it. I just wanted to thank you for your time ☺️
“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” - Bill Bradley
12/07/2020, Sunday.
On the 2nd July I had Biomolecular Spectroscopy Laboratory exam… I am still waiting for the result, but I already know I made a stupid mistake, I was distracted in that moment! Probably, I’ll have to retake it on the 23rd July
Currently studying for Advanced Inorganic Chemistry! Exam on the 16th July. I am nervous because it is the only shot I have in the summer, I am afraid of failure! I do not want to restudy it for September
In the meanwhile, I just need a break! I just need to know I did good and I can rest!
“Every man who receives a liberal education now counts chemistry among the most indispensable objects of his studies” - Antoine François Fourcroy
27/06/2020, Saturday.
Today I got back at my parents house, I love to study at my old desk
Currently doing NMR spectroscopy, I find it fascinating! I enrolled for two lectures this spring/summer:
Advanced Inorganic Chemistry;
Biomolecular Spectroscopy Laboratory.
The first one is mandatory for graduate students, it includes NMR basics (with some hardcore formulas). The second one is focused on 2D-NMR for macromolecules (for example proteins)
“We may live in an age of instant messaging, instant gratification and Instagram, but there is no way to short circuit the path to success.” - Tory Burch
24/06/2020, Wednesday.
I did it! On 10th June 2020 I graduated
Since my last post I worked on my thesis (wrote it in English, which is not common for undergraduate students), completed the PowerPoint presentation and kept attending on-line lectured. K. (my supervisor) was extraordinary! Yes, she left all the work for the very last week (almost died of anxiety), but when she got into it she helped me enormously
When the day came, I was more excited to present my work than anxious. I was worried because my graduation was on-line, but everything went perfectly. Family and friends could watch the presentation on the university YouTube channel ☺️
Even if graduation is enough, I could enroll for the postgraduate lectures I wanted! Double the joy
The downside is I had no rest time. I had to start study right after… But I try to do my best, I hope to finish exam in July
Any advice for a postgraduate student?
Personal life had been inexistent, all my forces are in academia. Not a big loss because in Italy there still are restrictions. I kept working out, but I need to do more because spending all my time in the house drives me crazy
“A well-educated mind will always have more questions than answers” - Helen Keller
04/05/2020, Monday.
Academical situation:
On the 21st April, I passed my last exam! On-line testing was better than I thought. It was quick and I got my grade confirmed (as the exam was only a part of a bigger one). Registering Physical Chemistry II grade meant registering my last undergraduate exam. Yes, I am done
I intend to apply for grad-school at the same university, many more exam to go. But, I closed a chapter. I am sad… Not because of the closing, not because of the changing… No… I am sad because I haven’t felt the joy of it, I haven’t felt different or relieved or anything…
Updates are on their way! Italy has entered phase 2 today, universities have high autonomy and during last week tons of meetings were made to decide and organise the following steps. I, a common student, have to wait few more days. By the end of the week, I will know what the future holds for me
Will I be able to enrol in two post-grad courses? Will I have to wait till autumn (and loose time)? Who knows.
While waiting for both updates and thesis correction, I keep up with on-line classes.
Personal situation:
I did 7 weeks of solitary isolation, it went extraordinarily good! I am surprised! Had ups and downs, but -overall- I am satisfied about how I adapted my routine during a difficult time. Especially due to the fact that I spent my study hours at university, and relaxed at home. Radically changing my habits has been a big turn
Today I saw S., we considered the risk (extremely low) and agreed upon seeing each other. My lonely time has come to an end! Seeing each other means -as well- that I can train at his place, with weights! Time to set up a new routine ️♀️
During quarantine, I listened to many podcasts (in italian)! They are my new passion, If anyone has suggestions on interesting ones (in italian, english or french) they will be welcome
“Being alone has a power that very few people can handle” - Steven Aitchison
15/04/2020, Wednesday.
Academical situation:
It is unlikely university reopens in this academic year. Officially, everything is closed till 3rd may. After that date, who knows?
In these weeks, I rolled up my sleeves! I finished writing my thesis, sent it to my supervisor and I am currently waiting for the correction. The work is not finished, but the “creating from zero” part is behind me!
While waiting, I had my last exam scheduled on the 21st april. It’ll be held online, on a specific platform and I have to sign a from declaring that I am not cheating. Yesterday, I started revising and I hope everything goes on smoothly
In parallel, I am following online first year second semester postgraduate lectures (only two of them). I hope to be able to undergo the exams, even if now I can’t be sure! It does depend on bureaucratic matters, not me…
Personal situation:
I am on my 5th isolation week. I am doing solitary quarantine! It is not bad as it may seem, nobody interrupts while I work! And I can concentrate truly well. I do not feel lonely, but -of course- I have down moments! I may not be an extremely social person, but staying alone for 5 weeks is not good either
I created a new routine: I don’t get up late, kept my week day usual alarm (7h45 a.m.). I try to have my work done in the morning, or - in general- in the first part of the day. Thus, when I am done I know I can dedicate myself to my hobbies!
The activities I want to do range from gaming to cooking, from reading a book to cleaning the house. I try to be flexible and do what inspires me in that moment. I still train, every other day. Home workouts are hard and makes me exhausted but satisfied! On rest days, I practice yoga (25-45 minutes, depending on my energies level). I made great progress with my flexibility and I am proud ♀️
After dinner S. and I watch a couple of a tv series episodes, we both have Amazon Prime Video and we manage to start at the same time, that way we are sync even if we live in different houses! We just finished “The Man in the High Castle”, I highly recommend it
“Knowledge is a weapon. I intend to be formidably armed” - Terry Goodkind
20/03/2020, Friday.
Another month passed by. It feels like everything stopped, but a lot has changed.
Academical situation:
On february 24th italian universities closed due to Covid-19 spreading. Official reopening on april 3rd, but the date is likely to be postponed because the situation appears to be critical.
As a consequence I was unable to undergo my last exam (physical chemistry II - laboratory). Formal indications are: it is not possible to take exams from remote, as cheating can occur. As soon as the structure reopens, exams are scheduled. At the moment I do not have a date, most likely mid-april ⏳
Graduations is delayed as well. As previously, no approved date, june is a possibility. If that was definitive, I would be unable to attend first year second semester postgraduate courses and labs. I do not want to lose time… I do not want to wait till autumn…
What am I doing? Temporarily left aside my exam, I am concentrating on writing my thesis and following online classes (I refuse to fall behind)
Personal situation:
Rigid lock down began on march 2nd. I decided not to go at my family house, I stayed alone in my flat. It was the right call because I got ill, yes, it probably was the famous virus (I had the typical symptoms, in a light form, and in november I had myself vaccinated against flu).
I felt poorly for 7/8 days, even had fever on thursday the 12th. But now I am good, it has been 4 days since symptoms disappearance. I saw noone and followed certified indications (those communicated by official organisations).
I do not find difficult to be in self-imposed isolation, the worst enemy is boredom. Since I got well, I’ve been doing yoga. And I am searching an at-home-training in substitution of gym one. ️♀️
How are you dealing with the situation?
Do you have any suggestion on at-home activities I could try? (New organising methods, smart-working techniques, home workouts, yoga classes, books… Recipes as long as they are light)
“You don’t have to do this, you get to do this” - Tom Kubis
27/02/2020, Thursday.
Physical chemistry II: On Friday 21st I passed physical chemistry II, theory
I was nervous and scared before my exam, as usual! Still need to do laboratory part: it was supposed to be on friday 28th… Guess what?
University is closed the whole week! Cause: coronavirus precautions
I do not have a new date yet. But I need to study like due date hasn’t changed because if it is postponed for too long I’ll have to split my time between study and thesis
Thesis: it has been two weeks since I was in the lab. I officially finished my samples, no more synthesis for me. Now I “just” have to write it
Self-care: gym is close as well… Slightly mad. Positive aspect? Yesterday I did yoga for the first time in moths! Turns out I lost flexibility! ♀️
“Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle” – Abraham Lincoln via Tina MiModels
07/02/2020, Friday.
One month had passed since last post. I started writing a few times but never finished, I thought I had nothing to share… I realised not posting had a negative influence on my productivity! I am aware it’s stupid, but I am generally more encouraged if I think about sharing my day
Catching up:
Physical Chemistry II: I started four weeks ago, not giving 100%… I kept postponing “real studying” and kept reading my notes over and over. It seemed like every day I had better tasks (chores, thesis assignments). But now the time has come: due date 21st february! It is so close
Good news are that I find the topic extremely interesting and I have my productively anxiety (about time!)
Thesis: I haven’t started writing yet. First I want to close the exam; that way I can focus on one task at a time! It is still not clear on what my thesis is about… Polypeptoids are the main topic, of course, but we have to decide on which aspect I should focus
Needless to say: the situation makes me distressed.
“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” - Norman Mailer
02/01/2020, Thursday.
Here I am again: reading articles and plotting excel graphs. It is the first university related activity I do during winter break. Currently at my parents house and enjoying rest and family
I have no intention in working (for real) till I get back! No routine, no stress and no anxiety!
New Year Resolution: 2020′s goal would be consistency. I don’t have a list full of things I already know I won’t accomplish. My purpose is to build a path towards my future and become a person I’ll be proud to be, step after step
I need to focus on the present and stay honest to myself.
2019 thought me I have to work, I have to modify my life. I do not have to be scared of changes, they are opportunities. It thought me results will come if I do the necessary. Last year was full of personal growth and I am extremely proud
“The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others” - Hasidic Proverb
25/12/2019, Wednesday.
Merry Christmas!
This year winter break means relax, time with family and feeling free! I need detachment from university, at least for a bit. I do deserve it, I earned it
Physics II: had my exam in the 23rd! I refused to enter holidays knowing I was supposed to study. I rolled up my sleeves, I gave everything I had left and I passed my exam
One exam down, one more to go (obviously divided in two parts). Not only I passed it, but I scored 30/30
Thesis: project keeps going, nothing to report. I should probably start writing something, introduction would be nice!
