pride is here so this is just a reminder not to forget about straight trans people, straight ace/aro/aroaces, and bi/pan people in m/f relationships!!!
To the straight trans guys: you are not a traitor to your community for being straight. Loving women in the way you do will always be different, always be powerful, deep and rich. To love someone as your truest self is an act of service to the both of you, and you are able to give that softness to you and your partner or partners. This is part of your truth, and the journey you’ve taken to get to where you are today, to love the way you do, leads to a love deeper and richer than any cis man’s love for women.
Love yourself for the light you bring to the world, to the smiles you’ll share with your girlfriend, your partner, your wife. All love is beautiful and kind.
I think being transhet is very sexy and galaxy brained actually
people on this site loooove to shit on straight people and I understand the impulse but trans heterosexuality exists on an entirely different plane of nuance and complexity. cisheterosexuality is taken-for-granted, default, easy, and fundamentally disimilar to how trans people navigate that same attraction. finally being able to express my love for women in a way that is comfortable and freeing because I no longer have to pretend to be a woman while I’m doing it has allowed me to find peace with myself in a way no other label or gender configuration has. years of berating myself for not understanding why I feel so out of place in wlw spaces and discussions, for why I felt so off-balance and phony in my celebration of the joy of loving women, for why I couldn’t understand that wrestling out the internalised homophobia I had as a teen didn’t alleviate my discomfort with being with women as a woman - these fears and concerns are now settled because I realised I am in fact a man. transheterosexuality takes just as much internal scrutiny, just as much self-reflection, and just as much courage as realising you’re gay or bi, and there is just as much joy to be found in realising you can experience sexuality on your own terms as a trans person.
lots of people ask me why i take pride in my sexuality when im straight. they say “isnt that like a cishet person being proud of being straight?” and its really not.
yhats like saying a trans woman being proud that shes a woman is the same as a cis woman being proud of being a woman. its not.
one comes from many years and long long hours spent self reflecting and figuring out who you are instead of seeing it paraded everywhere and forced on you from birth. one you never doubt for a second is who you are because when everyone else tells you what youre supposed to be you just go “oh that sounds right ill go with that”. while the other is spent staring at this perfect picture that someone has drawn of what they want you to be, but you know its wrong. the terminology seems right, but you can tell its not meant for the real you.
all my life being told im supposed to be straight, attracted to men as a woman. and i just couldnt tell what was off for the longest time. i knew it wasnt right for me, but i couldnt figure it out what wasnt right.
i thought i was a lesbian for the longest time, but i finally came to the realization that im a man and not a woman in any respect.
ive had people from all over the lgbt community telling me that i shouldnt be taking rpide in my sexuality because its not “oppressed”. if you talk to any straight trans person, theyll tell you the same thing. theyre treated like theyre not part of the lgbt community because theyre not gay. theyre told that being trans doesnt make you lgbt. that you should be ashamed of trying to live the perfect straight wet dream when youre really gay inside.
ive spent years thinking on my sexuality, and i can confidently say that im not gay. i dont like men in any respect. i only like women and im okay with that. but guess what? im still trans and that fits me under the lgbt umbrella. im still lgbt enough even tho i dont like men. because im trans.
ive had cis people tell me that im really a lesbian in denial. that trans people cant have a sexuality because transexual is their sexuality. ive had trans people tell me once i start passing ill be just as bad as any cishet man.
those people forget that being trans isnt my whole personality, that its not a small part of my personality. they forget that at my core im still trans and being trans has sculpted my outlook of the world. ive had to live under so many different names and identities. ive been able to live in a lot of different peoples shoes to get to where i am now. im not going to forget all of the hell i went thru and give that sort of pain back to those who arent like me. ive had to learn compassion intimately. im not going to forget it the second someone thinks of me as a cis man. i havent forgotten it.
at the end of the day, im going to be happy that ive been able to find out who i am. im going to be happy to learn that im a straight trans man. im going to rejoice in it. im going to live as myself and enjoy every second of it. me living like this isnt the same as a cishet persons enjoyment of their life because im not cis. i will never know what its like to be a man who didnt go thru my struggles.
so, im going to enjoy my life as a straight trans man and rejoice in knowing myself better than what others know me as.
straight trans people are lovely and just as much a part of the community as non-straight people. you deserve a safe space and an uplifting community around you– you belong here
shoutout to straight trans people! shoutout to bi people in m/f relationships! i love you all so much! you are wonderful, you are just as important a part of this community as everyone else. thank you for existing. i hope you all will have a lovely pride.
As a straight trans man, my love for women is good. My attraction to women isn’t any less pure than a sapphic woman’s attraction to women. My attraction to women isn’t “creepy” or “predatory” just because I’m a straight man. I’m a man that just so happens to exclusively be attracted to women. That’s all there is to it. Nothing about it is any more or less wholesome.
also don’t forget that cishets already tell us that our attraction to women is sinful, sick and wrong. there is no support for us between cishet circles, even if we’re het. perpetrating this agenda in lgbt+ circles only contributes to transphobia.
but really though, this pride month, shout out to straight trans people. it’s gotta be rough sometimes listening to people constantly complaining about “the straights” and how “it’s gay month if you’re not gay go home”. you’re not contributing to heteronormitivity just by being yourself. you 100 percent belong at pride and all of you make this community a better place.
