Tik Tok has been showing me thousands of this edits with the ‘Grow a Pear’ by Ke$ha song with their own headcanons about the Marvel characters sexuality and I just have to do it.
First of all, as a bi girl, I have to start with my bi pals: Tony, Peter Parker, Valkyrie, Loki and Peter Quill. 4/5 have been confirmed in a certain way and it makes me so fucking happy. I am also going to put Clint here, I am sorry but I love his comic counterpart so much to not put him here and I have the biggest hope for the Hawkeye show to make him a lil’ better. Also know by me as the people with the coolest music taste in the MCU I just know it because it’s a bi superpower. Also Sylvie! And FUCKING STEPHEN STRANGE
This may be (or not) a controversial opinion: Steve, Bucky, Sam, Bruce are all gay. I say the controversy thing beacuse especially the first three are seen as bi/pan but I just… can’t? For me Steve and Bucky’s romantic feelings for women in the MCU are due to comphet (don’t get me started on Bruce and Nat) and Sam has never had a love interest but his relationship with Riley kind of fits. Also, Mobius AND PIETRO? and MY MAN RHODEY and his life time crush in Tony? I am fucking sure.
really personal thought but Steve, Sam and Bucky are all in a closed poly relationship. stop the sambucky/stevebucky wars.
Next are what I like to call Fury’s lesbians: Carol, the OG and the oldest daughter, Maria Hill, the middle child and Natasha, the littlest daughter. (Fury treated Nat like a daughter way more than this Alexei motherfucker, fight me on this, cowards!) Then you have Maria Rambeau, Carol’s girlfriend that Fury secretly also loves so much.
Bruce and Nat could have been the cutest queerplatonic relationship ever but Marvel are cowards.
We can not forget the pan pals: Thor, because somehow living thousands of years gives me a pan vibe, Wanda because is the anything more pansexual than loving an android, and my man T'Challa who everyone always forgets in these: I dont know how to explain it but this man has the BIGGEST pan energy ever. Also see: my girl Pepper Potts.
Also my asexual people! We have Yelena, Gamora, Nick and Heimdall who are ace/aro and they have always had beautiful relationships, just not romantic ones. And then Nat and Bruce who are both homoromantic aces and NO ot has nothing to see with either the Red Room or the Hulk they ARE ace. What I do think, though, is that both facts have intruded in their relationship with sex: they are probably sex-repulsed and they just understand eachother so well.
Then demisexuals a demiromantics beacuse they do not get talked about enough. Hello? Mr. Steve Rogers and his whole 'I want somone with a shared life experience?’ T'Challa because I just know once he connects with people he just falls in love, he cant help it. My man Stephen Strange and Pepper Potts, I just know it. My heart also says Peter Parker.
Another unpopular opinion but Tony, Pepper, Rhodey and Stephen would make an amazing polycule but insert audio of “nobody thinks what I think”
Steve and Bucky getting in mock arguments and Steve just randomly throwing in “Wooow, can’t believe you’d say that to me while knowing both of my PARENTS are DEAD. Can’t believe you’d say that when you know my mom is literally DEAD. Insensitive much???”
With Bucky as a kid, I imagine like big-dead eyes, constantly smiling, has literally nothing going on in his brain, has like 6 rocks in his pockets that he’s gonna show his ma later. Holding hands with Steve, who is just this tiny form of mass thats constantly vibrating with anger and pent up energy, and is gnashing his jawls at you, and has his hair sticking up everywhere because as hard as the hair gel fights for its LIFE it is NOT staying down.
All I want is to fly with you All I want is to fall with you So just give me all of you It feels impossible It’s not impossible Is it impossible? Say that it’s possible (insp.)
