the great thing about batman’s rogue’s gallery is how they all directly reflect/contrast an aspect of his own personality: the joker representing chaos to his order, the riddler reflecting his intellect, two-face reflecting his duel identities, captain boomerang reflecting his tendency to throw boomerangs at people, and so on
steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual
he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone
he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws
The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed
The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.
Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there’s art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn’t been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman
you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.
She is feeling FreshandFabulous.
SHE SURE IS because she is literally finishing up a shed there, look, you can see the last of it clinging to her tail
but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor
the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered
I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours
“oh my GOD T’sissra your scales are SO VIBRANT this picture is going to be AMAZING”
Extra bonus points because she used that skin as part of her backdrop. Its like a banner behind her head.
‘Out with the old, in with the glam!’
I read “finishing up a shed” and for a few microseconds I was like “sexy AND an accomplished carpenter”
I love every addition to this post. :D especially the last one.
also, for those curious? the art is by James Ryman (you can KIND OF faintly see this printed in the watermark but not everybody has good vision, so it’s worth noting! that link on his name goes to Gatherer’s complete list of cards he’s done illustration for, which is quite a few turns out)
it was for the card “Naga Vitalist”, a card which is from the 2017 set called Amonkhet; she’s a Naga Druid creature, with an ability that gives you access to extra mana! you can read more about the card, including rulings on the mechanics of it and the legality in various formats of the game, on WotC’s Gatherer database, here: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=426878
and no, for the record, I didn’t know which card it was just off the top of my head - I only play MtG very VERY casually, and then only because the spouse plays avidly (and thus has a gazillion cards I can borrow and knows how to advise on deck construction lol).
but, BUT
I do LOVE this art, it’s fabulous and I don’t CARE that it’s not current for Standard or even that I barely even play I - kinda want it?? just for the art??
so - how to ID it?
protip: I solved the dilemma in like literally 2 seconds when I “reverse image search”ed it (which you can do on Google with a mere right-click on the image from Chrome to get to the correct menu!) and this immediately provided the “closest match” (in this case the Correct Image!) and the Gatherer link above, because the image of course is on part of the page as well.
if any of you reading this ever need to find the artist behind an image (or in this case, identify a specific piece of media or item) when you only have the image, you can use Google’s Reverse Image Search for that, works quite well! :)
