#the general
Ten Movies That Made TWG Love Film
(I wrote all of this to post on Facebook and figured I’d SYNERGIZE™ it.)
1.)Armageddon(1998)
[First Viewed Circa 1999]
- Michael Bay’s star-spanglin’ dick-swangin’ Paris-obliteratin’ ode to Average Joes saving the world from a big-ass asteroid served as an important mile marker in my development as a film fan: it was the first film I ever watched and thought, “That was bad.” See, when I was a kid, I emerged from every film I saw with the same take, something roughly akin to, “It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.” I was vaguely bewildered whenever I would see a film with some of the impossibly erudite elders of my neighborhood kid gang (some as old as 13 or 14!) and they’d spend the car ride home pointing out how terrible the film we just saw was. So naturally, the distaste I had for Michael Bay’s “Budweiser commercial directed by Leni Riefenstahl” style came as a massive relief. I wasn’t stupid! I could dislike something! And lemme tell you, dear reader, I haven’t stopped disliking things since.
2.)Monty Python and the Holy Grail(1975)
[First Viewed Circa 1999]
- Given the fact that I watched this film at least once at any sleepover from roughly 1999 to 2004, Monty Python’s digressive, and deeply, deeply silly magnum opus is still the film that I’ve watched more times than any other. It was the first movie that I was obsessed with, which is not surprising given that it’s the exact sort of film that rewards obsession. It’s filled with absurd background details you only catch on the fifth viewing (the countless extras beating cats against walls), long streams of absurd riffs ripe for memorization (the list of animals vanquished via the holy hand grenade), and the sort of nonsensical humor that makes you feel like you’re part of a special group of those who Get It (…the whole film, really). While this whole list is full of films that defined my taste in film, this is the only one that feels like it defined who I am.
3.)Signs(2002)
[First Viewed Circa 2002]
- Most people remember Signs as the last good M. Night Shyamalan film. Or the first bad one. Or the one with that really good scene where Joaquin Phoenix freaks out watching TV and not much else. I remember it as the first time I ever thought, “That was a cool shot.” It comes at the end of the film, where Joaquin takes baseball bat to an alien who falls backwards into a table, knocking over a glass of water, the liquid we’ve spent the whole film learning is poisonous to this breed of extraterrestrial. But what was cool was that Shyamalan shot it from the alien’s perspective. Looking back, it’s not exactly the bone-to-spacestation match cut, but it was the first time that I found myself actively aware of the man behind the curtain, and the first step in my journey to be one of them.
[First Viewed Circa 2003]
- During my middle school years, most every weekend involved a trip to the video store with my mom. Our local store was End Zone Video, named in honor of the fact that every facet of life in Knoxville, Tennessee, must revolve around University of Tennessee football. Each week I’d comb the aisles, careful to avoid looking directly at the covers for Evil Dead 2orApril Fool’s Day, and select a tape to rent. Sometimes, though, Mom would suddenly realize I hadn’t seen a film that she’d call a classic and decide we needed to rent it RIGHT NOW. So, the two of us either wound up watching a recent film for which she had an irrational amount of affection (Ever After,Sliding Doors) or an older film that was part of the Official Canon. Rear Window was the first of these older films that snuck up on me and hit me over the head with a sock filled with batteries. (In a good way.) One minute my mom was explaining how the fact that we could see Miss Torso strip down to her slip was once scandalous, and the next I was asphyxiating because Grace Kelly didn’t know that Thorwald was right outside the apartment she was searching. From then on, I was allowed two movies, and one of them was always a Hitchcock.
5.)Fight Club(1999)
[First Viewed Circa 2006]
- I first watched Fight Club with Jen and Samantha while lounging on the massive sectional in Jen’s basement. Before we started it, Sam turned to me and said, “Taylor, this is the day you become a man.” And, folks, she weren’t wrong. For a lot of people of a certain age, Fight Club was one of those movies that landed in your lap like an A-bomb. It wasn’t just a movie—it was a life event. It gave you a whole new definition of nihilistic macho cool. It pulled the rug out from under you with a twist that made you salivate over any movie described as a “mindfuck.” It made you post pictures on MySpace of yourself with a stage-make-up lye-burn on the back of your hand. And it was only years later that you realized that hey, maybe we’re not supposed to like this Tyler Durden guy?
[First Viewed Circa 2006]
- I become aware of a thing called indie rock sometime in the summer of 2003 when my ex-girlfriend changed her AIM buddy icon to a picture of Death Cab For Cutie. About three years later, I found my cinematic Death Cab buddy icon in the form of Wes Anderson’s third film, playing in the middle of one Saturday afternoon on Comedy Central shortly after my dad finally caved and got cable. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen, fussy and formalist and packed to the gills with bespoke flourishes (dalmatian mice, the 375th Street Y, etc). The characters didn’t look or act or sound like real people, but somehow one of them saying “I’ve had rough year, Dad,” could drive me to tears. I’d taken fledgling steps exploring the world of film, and this was the movie that made me realize that there was this entire other world that I’d never glimpsed before.
7.)Hostel(2005)
[First Viewed Circa 2007]
- When I was in kindergarten, we watched a children’s VHS entitled There’s A Nightmare In My Closet. Based on a book by Mercer Meyer, it told the story of a boy who learns that the monster in his closet is actually nice and just wants to be friends. The horrific implication of this was that A) monsters are real, and B) nice monsters are definitely not the norm. I slept with the lights on until middle school. Growing up, even the VHS box of most horror films would freak me out (April Fools Day,Evil Dead 2). In short, I was a big chicken, even into my teen years. Then one day Sam, Travis, and I piled into Travis’s living room and put on Eli Roth’s infamous gut-ripper Hostel. I braced myself, determined to play it as cool as I could. (After all, I’d been sleeping in the dark for years at this point!) Then the movie turned out to be…not as bad as I thought? I mean sure, it had people getting their achilles tendons cut, and their stomachs chainsawed, and their eyes popped out of socket. But I survived. In fact, I enjoyed it. And thus a former chicken metamorphosed into an absolute horror junkie.
8.)Grindhouse(2007)
[First Viewed Circa 2007]
- I don’t think I’ll ever have a better time out at the movies than I did seeing Grindhouse. For three hours, Sam, Travis, and I cackled our way through exploding zombie heads, fake British horror trailers, and guys getting off to car crashes. There were only a handful of other people across the aisle in the smallest theater in Downtown West, which only made it seem more obvious that this movie was made for us. For a bunch of movie crazy kids who got together to watch Robot MonsterandFaster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! back to back. It was like a gift from the movie gods. A movie that was every bit in love with the idea of movies as we were. No wonder every film we shot that summer wound up covered in fake film scratches and ‘70s R&B needle drops.
9.)The General(1926)
[First Viewed Circa 2010]
- By this point in my life, I was well acquainted with classic film. I knew that The African Queen wasn’t a monarch, that The Thin Man wasn’t Nick Charles, and that The Maltese Falcon wasn’t a real bird. But even so, I was still an utter neophyte when it came to the pre-sound era. Sure, I’d suffered through The Birth of a Nation a couple of times in history classes, but the silent era was very much unexplored territory for me. So, when I settled down on my parents’ old couch in my college apartment and listened to Robert Osbourne introduce The General, I was expecting a night of eating my cinematic vegetables. But then, I found myself chuckling when Buster sat on the titular engine’s churning connecting rods, then cheering when he used one railroad tie to see-saw another off the track, then completely cracking up at the final (literal) twist of the cannon sequence. By the time Buster dropped the entire train in river, I was hooked. Fast forward eight years, and suddenly I’m the guy who’s not sure that the advent of sound wasn’t a mistake.
10.)La Jetée(1962)
[First Viewed Circa 2013]
- All the movies on this list contributed to my love of film. They opened my eyes, whetted my appetite, and pointed me in new directions. But perhaps none affected me as profoundly as La Jetée. The other films on this list helped show me that film could make me laugh until my side cramped up, white-knuckle the couch armrest with terror, and gawp in amazement. They showed me what film can do. La Jetée showed me what film is. There is a moment (if you’ve seen it, you know it) that displays the truth it took me my whole life to realize: the moving image is nothing less than a miracle. And I’m forever grateful for it.
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This real stunt from 1926
Buster Keaton. This man risked his life for his films.
The General
Directed by Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton
Written by Al Boasberg, Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton
USA, 1926Watched (at Ultimate Picture Palace, Oxford) on 20th June 2014
With live musical accompaniment by Ric Elsworth (percussion) and Peter Foggitt (piano)
Tonight was a truly special cinematic experience. I’ve been a Buster Keaton fan since I first saw The General on DVD six or seven years ago. Since then I’ve seen nearly all his silent films in numerous editions, but this was my first time seeing the Great Stone Face on the big screen - with live music, no less!
Live music brings the film alive for the audience. There were ooh’s and ahh’s aplenty as Buster Keaton performed death-defying feats for the camera, accompanied by cascading piano, rumbling of tom-toms, the shocking crack of a snare, clashing cymbals…
One scene (in which Buster uses one railway sleeper to knock another off the tracks) even elicited a ripple of applause. It makes me a little emotional to think that a stunt from nearly 90 years ago made a group of people in Oxford clap tonight. Bravo, Buster!
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“So, this ‘Empire of the Spider’ mess. You tellin’ me Selim’s taken over the world?”–Spider-Man
Cover art for Miles Morales: Spider-Man #038, “Empire of the Spider - Part One”
Art by Taurin Clarke
FromMiles Morales: Spider-Man #038, “Empire of the Spider - Part One”
Art by Christopher Allen, Alberto Foche, Oren Junior, José Marzan Jr. and Brian Reber
Written by Saladin Ahmed
Before Edgar Wright and Wes Anderson, before Chuck Jones and Jackie Chan, there was Buster Keaton, one of the founding fathers of visual comedy. And nearly 100 years after he first appeared onscreen, we’re still learning from him. Today, I’d like to talk about the artistry (and the thinking) behind his gags. Press the CC button to see the names of the films.
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There’s no end of opinions about Buster Keaton’s work & whilst I’d place him on the highest pedestal, other critics are little more grounded. Here’s what Paul Rotha had to say in his 1930 book, ‘The Film Till Now; A Survey of the Cinema’
“Apart from the comedies of Chaplin it is necessary only to mention
the more recent work of Buster Keaton and the expensive knockabout contraptions of Harold Lloyd. Keaton at his best, as in The General, College, and the first two reels of Spite Marriage, has real merit. His humour is dry, exceptionally well constructed and almost entirely mechanical in execution. He has set himself the task of an assumed personality, which succeeds in becoming comic by its very sameness. He relies, also, on the old method of repetition, which when enhanced by his own inscrutable individuality becomes incredibly funny. His comedies show an extensive knowledge of the contrast of shapes and sizes and an extremely pleasing sense of the ludicrous. Keaton has, above all, the great asset of being funny in himself. He looks odd, does extraordinary things and employs uproariously funny situations with considerable skill. The Keaton films are usually very well photographed, with a minimum of detail and a maximum of effect. It would be ungrateful,perhaps, to suggest that he takes from Chaplin that which is essentially Chaplin’s, but, nevertheless, Keaton has learnt from the great genius and would probably be the first to admit it.”
Amusingly, he also mentions Donald Crisp, whose efforts on ‘The Navigator’ were almost entirely reshot because Buster was unimpressed with the result. He pretended it was a wrap & sent Crisp home!
“Donald Crisp is a director of the good, honest type, with a simple go-ahead idea of telling a story. He has made, among others, one of the best of the post-war Fairbanks films, ‘Don Q’, and Buster Keaton’s ‘The Navigator’.”
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#SorryNotSorry
Buster Keaton’s candid moments…& not ‘Candid Camera’!
The General (1926)
If you can dream it,
you can wake up in a cold sweat screaming about it.
Welcome to Night Vale.
Night Vale, today is the birthday of Leonard Burton. Many of you are too young to remember Leonard. He was my mentor, my friend, and my predecessor at this radio station. I watched him die nearly 40 years ago, right outside this very radio station on Mesa Boulevard, when a cargo truck ran him over. The sight was – grisly and upsetting. But it is that sound, that horrible “snap!” I will never forget. Dozens of witnesses gathered around to help, but it was too late. I crouched over Leonard’s body, lying to him that he would be OK, attempting to coax him from some hint of life. But there was no final word to hear, not even a final breath. I noted there were tears on his cheeks, as a host of angels behind me moaned softly while touching fingers above a flaming trashcan.
Leonard was a dutiful journalist, a true servant of his town. He loved Boston cream pies and paintings of snakes. If he had lived, he would have been 117 years young today.
Listeners, thank you for all your kind emails. A few weeks ago I was a tad – too revealing about my personal life and I mentioned, in passing, that I’m a perennial bachelor. It’s true. I’ve never had a long term serious relationship, but honestly, it’s fine. [chuckling nervously] I get out, I-I s-, I see people. You do not need to try to set me up on blind dates with friends, relatives, ancestral ghosts. Thank you, I’m doing OK. In fact, I had a date recently. His name is Carlos. He says he’s a scientist, well – we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. He has perfect hair, a perfect lab coat and – and teeth like a military cemetery.
The date started well. We went to dinner at Big Rico’s Pizza. He had originally suggested Gino’s Italian Dining Experience and Bar and Grill, the fanciest restaurant in town, but since it was our first date, I suggested something more casual. And that was when things started to go wrong. Before we had even placed our orders, Carlos already seemed – disappointed. Which, in turn, disappointed me. Then there was dinner.
I was trying to tell Carlos about my job here at the station, about my family and interests, and he was like “I know I know, Cecil, we’re in love. You and I are in love. You just don’t remember it.”
And I told him, “You’re cute, but this is our first date, so let’s take this slow.” And then he looked sad, and I quickly finished my pizza, and we left.
An update on the Blood Space War. A few weeks ago, the Polonian forces who oppose us seemed all but defeated, their remaining ships cornered in a tiny moon on the far reaches of the Crab Nebula. Yet our attempts to finally destroy the enemy failed, and the Polonians escaped and regrouped. We’re getting word that the General has agreed to step down from her post, and new leadership will replace her. Some of you may remember the story of Eunomia, the teenager who left our Earth 200 years ago to join in the Blood Space War. She was a dreamer, a scientist, who was recruited for her sharp mind and later groomed as a master strategist for the Wolf Gang, our allies in this unending war. The Wolf Gang were able to use worm holes to travel great distances in mere moments. And Eunomia eventually discovered they could use these same portals to travel in time. After a brutal loss in the battle of Gamma Trachonus, Eunomia, then a captain, ordered her decimated platoon back in time to the beginning of the battle. With a greater understanding of their initial failures, she was able to better fight the battle again. Still she lost, only to return back through time to re-engage the enemy over and over again, she refought the battle until she won. Dozens of battles like this won led to her promotion to General of the Earth-Wolf Gang alliance. But after our most recent failure in the Crab Nebula, there is concern that she has lost her effectiveness.
An emissary from the Blood Space War has returned to Night Vale. They are wading through town in their oversized space suit. No doubt here to deliver us more terrible news from the front. Perhaps there will be no peace in our lifetimes. More on this story as it develops.
Our town is returning to normal, or so I have been told. Community college student and Blood Space War protest organizer, Basimah Bishara, said her mother exists once again. Basimah claims that a few weeks ago, her mother suddenly did not exist, thus making Basimah not exist but as of this week, they do exist. Basimah blames the time traveling actions of our General for changing the landscape of everyone’s existence. I can’t wrap my head around this, listeners, I-I.. I don’t remember Basimah ever not existing or, or-or that she was gone and returned. So it’s hard for me to believe this story. I-I took inventory of my own life and everything is as it always has been for me. I work at a radio station, I own a (-) [0:08:20] bike, I have a one-bedroom apartment with a soaking tub, walk-in closet, carpet shredder, knife compiler and a full-length mirror in the hallway. It’s an antique my mother handed down to me. She knows I love mirrors.
I don’t have any siblings, but my mother’s alive and I talk to her regularly. We get along great, I-I-I called her to make sure everything is as she always remembered it, and she said, “What, I don’t know. Yeah sure, what a dumb question.” She’s always been witty like that.
All is stasis. Nothing has been taken from my life.
The Intergalactic Military Headquarters reported all time high profits this month. They have built a stealth bomber entirely out of rare 1913 Liberty Head nickels, each valued at around - five million dollars. Senior strategic advisor Jameson Archibald admitted their financial success was not attributable to the new smart phone app he developed.
“[cackling] No-ho-ho-ho-ho,” Archibald said, sitting astride a white tiger. “That app was super glitchy, but my Dad’s crazy rich and knows a bunch of people in the Pentagon, so we’re go-o-o-od!”
Archibald then took a massive hit of a vape pen.
“This is my new thing,” Archibald said. “Steam pens! No nicotine, no THC, only pure water vapor. Did you know water is good for you? Like, it gives you life, man. If we’re gonna vape anything, we should be vaping vapor. O-o, what if that’s what vape means? Vapor! If it doesn’t, it should!”
This has been your financial report.
Sad news, Night Vale. John Peters – you know, the farmer – reported that his brother James is returning to service in the Blood Space War. James has been promoted to General to replace the retiring Eunomia.
“Dang, James is such a good brother,” John said from the middle of his field of invisible corn. “I really like having him home, I’m gonna miss him. But I guess the universe needs him more than I do.”
John then uprooted an invisible corn stalk and hugged it tightly, while humming the classic church hymn “Party in the USA”.
OK, this is getting annoying. So the guy I was telling you about earlier, Carlos, he’s been texting me this whole show, saying he wants to see me again, let’s see, something something, my timeline is still wrong? I should have a sister named Abby, here’s a photo of her with some kid. My mother died? Hmph. I’m supposedly afraid of mirrors, and he and I are actually married. This is ridiculous! OK, now he’s texting me a picture of a dog. “Our little puppy Aubergine,” it says. In the picture Carlos is holding the dog.
I… Hm, that’s weird. I just had a strange feeling. What’s that term, uh, jamais vu I think, where you remember something that never happened.
Outside my window, I see the Emissary, their-their oblong mirrored face pressed against the glass, each hand raised to their head to block out glare from the sun. I’m waving to the Emissary now. Hello Emissary! I said just now. What is the French term for remembering something you’ve never experienced? I said even louder wondering if the Emissary can hear me through the window and that thick helmet. Also, is Aubergine a good name for a dog? I think it is! I called once more, just to start a decent conversation, because I was getting creeped out by the sight of a silent astronaut peering at me through my window.
[chuckles] I can, I can see myself in the reflective face. I…
[mumbles] I don’t like this. I do not like this at all.
[panicked] Please go. Please leave, it cannot. Uh, I’m covering this window with a sheet, I do not like this mirror. I don’t like it one bit, no!
Let’s go to the weather.
[Weather: “Sad But Not Depressed” from the podcast It Makes a Sound
https://nightvale.bandcamp.com]
I will tell you about the Emissary in a moment. But first, I must tell you that Carlos called me. Here’s his voicemail.
Carlos:Cecil, I_I’m calling for personal reasons. I-I’m, [sighs] I’m calling to tell you that I love you. That I have loved you almost since the first day I met you nearly 7 years ago. I didn’t know anyone in Night Vale [chuckles] and you were the first person to take any interest in my studies. Its not easy feeling alone, but within a year I wasn’t, cause I was with you. And now we are married. Well, at least in my lifetime we were married. We have been married, and we have a beautiful puppy named Aubergine, a house, a relationship. You have a sister, and you know, you have a brother-in-law too and, and a niece who is a talented athlete and (enormously), just a kind young woman. And we have – oh, you’re gonna play this on air, aren’t you? Oh, of course you are. Well never mind. Anyway uh, somehow you don’t know any of this. I’ve been working nights and days trying to repair this break in continuity, and I haven’t slept much, because I-I can’t sleep until we’re back in the same timeline. But I can’t find anything that will fix this, I-I don’t know what else to do other than to just say: Trust me. I will start over, we’ll go to Rico’s on another first date, I will pretend to hear about your life for the first time, I will tell you about mine for the thousandth time. It won’t be the same for me, but it will still be you. And, and that’s all that matters. You, you’re the one. Oh god, this must sound crazy, you barely know you and, and I’m coming off as desperate, but it’s because I am. Please call me. [beep]
Cecil:And I did, call him back. A-a-and I said: “I love you too. Babe, I love your beard. I love our dog. I love… I-I love our life together.” Minutes before that, I did not feel that way. I did not know about my life with Carlos, because it had never happened in my history.
It was in those minutes, though, that the Emissary spoke to me. The Emissary entered my studio and removed her helmet. And underneath was the face of an old woman, it was the face of Eunomia, the young girl who disappeared from Night Vale on her 17th birthday 200 years ago. Eunomia told me she had resigned her post as General. She was the most successful leader in the Blood Space War, but tampering with timelines had caused life in the universe to nearly cease to exist.
Eunomia knew she would have to undo what she had undone so many times over, even though it would put peace out of her reach. She’s doing that. She is taking responsibility by visiting every single person affected by her actions. She’s telling them what she has taken from them. And what she will now give back. It will take her a long, long time to do this. it will take her the rest of her life.
In my case, she told me I have a sister, Abby, a brother-in-law, Steve, a niece, Janice. I-I did not know those times. She told me about my husband Carlos. I knew that name, but did not feel love for it. She took my hand and told me to look at the moon. There was a thick wedge missing from it. I never noticed that the moon was broken. Eunomia said: “I will leave now and I will undo what has been done, and your life will return to how it was.”
I asked: “But I have a life now.”
And she said: “But what of the lives of others? You are all connected. If I do not fix yours, how many others will never have back what the war has taken?”
“And what about you?” I said. “Will you return to your teenage life on the farm?”
“No,” she said, “I cannot go back to that age, but I will go back to that time and place. I only wish to see my family one more time.”
“And what about the war?” I said. Hmph.
“There will always be a war, because there will always be a lust for a war,” she said. “I am sorry, Cecil. I have to go.” She pointed to the moon once again. And it was whole, unbroken. I tried to squeeze her hand, but it was gone. It was only me in the studio.
On a late summer afternoon in 1816, an astronaut appeared in the center of Night Vale. 96 years later, a dog park would be established on that exact spot. The astronaut walked silently through the dusty streets. Bow-legged and slow, the Emissary walked through the outskirts of town. It took hours, and nearly the entire city followed her. Past a lot that would eventually to Old Woman Josie. Past the homestead of Eugene Leroy. Until she reached the Peters farm. And there, she stopped.
There was a greenish aura about the astronaut, as she turned to face the gathered mob. The astronaut put her gloved hands to her neck and unlashed the helmet. There was a loud hissss and a pop, when she lifted the mask. The crowd approached tentatively. As the helmet came fully off, the townsfolk cried out. The face of the visitor was nearly skeletal, a rotted corpse, long white hair peeling down the back of the skull, an incomplete set of elongated teeth visible with no lips to hide them, startled eyes, ever staring with no lids to express anything else. And what was left of the skin had shriveled and yellowed.
The crowd had begun to step backward, but one woman stepped forward. a tired and pale woman. The woman whose farm it was approached the decomposing astronaut and said: “Eunomia?”
The General opened her mouth slowly and spoke in a hoarse cough. “Mother,” she said.
Eunomia’s young mother touched her elderly daughter’s face. Eunomia broke into dust. And the empty space suit collapsed to the ground, leaving behind the faint shape of the woman’s dissipating daughter.
In a cornfield on the outskirts of town, the General’s ashes scattered across a golden lake of ripened corn. In the very place where her military successor, James Peters – you know, the General – would be born 150 years later.
The memories of what Eunomia said to me, the memories of my life without my family, are fading quickly.
Night Vale returns to normal, whatever that means. [chuckles] I told Carlos I was so sorry for causing him such pain. I can not ever know how difficult that must have been. He only tilted his head and said: “Already forgotten.”
I wasn’t sure if he was being literal. Hmm.
Stay tuned next for the unceremonious continuation of all that is real.
Good night,
Night Vale,
Good night.
Today’s proverb: I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road, and then we’re gonna go grab drinks and dinner, maybe watch a movie. Girls’ night.
#SundaySales If you want to know more about the making of “The General,” you won’t go wrong with this wonderful softcover publication with 51 pages of rare photos & stories reprinted from The Cottage Grove Sentinel busterstuff.com/product/the-day-buster-smiled/213
#MovieMonday “The General,” 1926 is widely regarded as Buster Keaton’s masterpiece, frequently topping best movie of all time charts & lauded by the best of the best in the movie industry. A story of a stolen train that stole the hearts of the folks of Cottage Grove, Oregon who still celebrate the fact that they were home to Buster Keaton & crew throughout filming.
