#the secret language of relationships

Pisces-Aries Cusp (March 19 – March 24)

• Learning patience is your most important task. Develop social skills through working alongside others. Try to curb your impetuous side–weigh alternatives and consider consequences before speaking or acting. Get to know yourself better.

Aries I (March 25 – April 2)

• Cultivate your quiet side, yet do not neglect your aggressive urges or let them get bottled up inside. When you feel frustrated, try to understand the problem and then take the initiative. Acknowledge your need for affection and support. Do not hesitate to ask for help when you need it. 

Aries II (April 3 – April 10)

• Resist overwhelming people with your energy. Act responsibly. Try not to be too needy of attention and beware of leading others on. Confirm your inner values and develop hidden talents.

Aries III (April 11 – April 18)

• Tune in to what people are really saying. Beware of those who wish to monopolize your time and energy. Ideals and ideas can be worth of devotion, but also destructive. Make sure that others want to be helped or led before you offer. Try to keep in touch with the actual state of things. Beware of being carried away by your own enthusiasm.

Aries-Taurus Cusp (April 19 – April 24)

• Try not to overpower others. Learn to back off and allow things to happen as they will. Although your hands may itch to do the job, give others a chance to do it their way, even if they make mistakes. Try to remain sensitive to the feelings of those around you.

Taurus I (April 25 – May 2)

• Beware of taking on too much responsibility. Consciously work on changing yourself periodically. Beware of procrastinating in the name of prudence or good sense. Open up your horizons by exposing yourself to different disciplines and points of view.

Taurus II (May 3 – May 10)

• Seek to be more affectionate and playful. Beware of strident, dogmatic or inflexible attitudes. Remember that others have gifts to teach also, and that the best teacher is often an eternal student. Set a good example by admitting your mistakes. Rework and revise your ideas periodically.

Taurus III (May 11 – May 18)

• Dig deeper and explore the depths of your personality. Try to take matters a bit more seriously if you wish others to do the same in regard to you. On the other hand, never give up your natural and instinctive approach to life. Set your personal standards a bit higher and expect more of yourself.

Taurus-Gemini Cusp (May 19 – May 24)

• Monitor the pace of your activities carefully. Seek to be more consistent and less casual in jettisoning people and ideas. Don’t come on so strong. Turn off your mental motor from time to time. Confront your fears and insecurities. 

Gemini I (May 25 – June 2)

• Work to finish what you start. Develop the patience to interact fully with others. Your ideals may have to be sacrificed at times for the sake of harmony. Avoid escapism in its manifold guises. Keep busy and happy, but do not neglect your inner emotional life.

Gemini II (June 3 – June 10)

• Try not to come on in a rush. Be clear in what you say but also diplomatic. Don’t be inattentive to the impression you make or the idea others have of you. There is great value in silence. Take the time to develop deep friendships.

Gemini III (June 11 – June 18)

• Sometimes what is right in front of you is just as interesting as something risky or exotic. It may not be incumbent on you to influence the course of things. Allow yourself to express negativity when it is called for. Give yourself easy rewards, too.

Gemini-Cancer Cusp (June 19 – June 24)

• Exercise your magical powers with care. You may need to be a bit tougher on yourself. Keep your eye on the goal and resist any tendency to drift. Do not lose yourself so readily in ecstatic experiences or you may have trouble finding yourself again. Beware of repressing your feelings or allowing destructive emotions to control you.

Cancer I (June 25 – July 2)

• Don’t armor yourself too heavily– on the other hand, remain discriminating. Allow others the freedom to take risks. Though your salesmanship may be excellent, it is not always appreciated. Don’t only challenge your fears– overcome them through self-liberation and action.

Cancer II (July 3 – July 10)

• Make a real effort to get out in the world. Toughen your stance a bit and try not to be so sensitive. Develop your financial sense and cultivate your talent for maintenance and continuity. Keep contact with those who care about you. Put your active fantasy and imagination to productive use.

Cancer III (July 11 – July 18)

• Don’t be too sure you know what is right for people. Work to keep your own house in order. Allow others to express themselves freely. Perhaps no one doubts your good intentions, so it may not be necessary to justify them. Be confident of your abilities at a deep level.

Cancer-Leo Cusp (July 19 – July 25)

• Even out the highs and lows; the rewards of stability are great. Cultivate self-discipline but never lose your spontaneity. Build a calm center that boslters your confidence and remains at the heart of your being. Concentrate more on living in the moment, free of past problems and future expectations. Pace yourself for the long haul.

Leo I (July 26 – August 2)

• Learn to accept people as they are– both the positive and negative. It is probably useless to try to camouflage yourself, but do try to be more diplomatic and sensitive. Although you are good at making decisions for others, you may have overlooked making some crucial decisions for yourself. It doesn’t make you less of a person to be a bit more easygoing.

Leo II (August 3 – August 10)

• Watch your temper. Hotheadedness can throw you off balance and aid your opponent. Compromise and diplomacy are virtues to be cultivated, not weaknesses to be despised. Remain open and vulnerable to love. Don’t be too hard on yourself, or too demanding. ease up a bit on the expectations you place on others.

Leo III (August 11 – August 18)

• Try to tone down your demanding and commanding side. Hold the mirror up to yourself as well– examine your motivations carefully. Battle to keep the combatant in you more peaceful. Take some distance from yourself. Admitting weakness can also be a sign of strength.

Leo-Virgo Cusp (August 19 – August 25)

• Don’t blame the world for not recognizing you if you hide yourself away. Be more transparent– let people see what you are really like. Beware of keeping secrets even from yourself. Allow others in, to share in both your joys and sorrows.

Virgo I (August 26 – September 2)

• Soften your stance a bit– take things as they come and let them go as they will. Try to keep your work and home life separate. Step out a bit and demand dependability from others, too. Protect yourself from hangers-on and parasites. Occasionally be more selfish and unashamedly demand benefits for yourself.

Virgo II (September 3 – September 10)

• Try to maintain flexibility and acceptance without compromising your high standards. Open your heart in love relationships. Be aware of your condemning and unforgiving side. Gentleness, kindness and diplomacy are traits worth developing. Beware of putting yourself above the law or outside society. Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability.

Virgo III (September 11 – September 18)

• Try to be more sympathetic to the feelings of others. Not everyone is as strong-willed and directed as you. Don’t get bottled up in your head; cultivating a love of food, sleep and sensuous activities is essential to the grounding of your energies. Do not hide behind or rely too heavily on those who would serve you.

Virgo-Libra Cusp (September 19 – September 24)

• Don’t be overly concerned with appearances. Keep alive in your search for beauty– avoid becoming jaded, trendy or compulsive. Beware of neglecting spiritual goals or falling prey to excessive materialism. Keep your nervous system under control. 

Libra I (September 25 – October 2)

• Cultivate self-confidence. Beware of being too aggressive in your criticism of others– your bark can bite. Be consistent in your stance. Fight the impulse to procrastinate, but at the same time resist interfering with things that work, even if they do not meet your expectations. Mistakes are just part of the game. 

Libra II (October 3 – October 10)

• Try to find your true heart’s desire. Once you have found it, remember to show you really care. Don’t always give things away– hold on to what is most valuable in yourself. Learn to limit your explorations of interesting but distracting subjects that can sidetrack you from your main purpose. Make some hard choices, but preserve your dreams and visions.

Libra III (October 11 – October 18)

• Beware of making promises you can’t keep. Consider carefully the possible repercussions of your actions. Sometimes it is necessary to play at a part but don’t kid yourself in the process. Be more considerate of the feelings of others; devote sufficient time and patience to emotional matters.

Libra-Scorpio Cusp (October 19 – October 25)

• Try to relax and have fun. Learn to be less picky. Do not cut yourself off from unusual experiences but maintain your poise and balance. Continue to battle with life and resist escapism or the throes of self-pity. Leave the past behind and embrace the future. Cynicism and sarcasm are poison to you.

Scorpio I (October 26 – November 2)

• Supply the same constancy you expect from others, but also be less hard on yourself when it comes to mistakes. If at all possible, try to both forgive and forget. Leave excess baggage behind– the injuries of the past can be too heavy for anyone to bear, even you.

Scorpio II (November 3 – November 11)

• Let the sun shine in and the light within you shine out. Don’t take thing so seriously. Work on leveling out your moods and see how much happiness you can bring to yourself and others. Put your singular insight to productive use. Learn to laugh more at the illusions of the worlds and also at yourself.

Scorpio III (November 12 – November 18)

• Keep a critical eye on yourself. Respond to the highest challenges and occasionally take meaningful risks. Be mindful of what is important in life, of what endures and has lasting value. Always aim high, and don’t be afraid of failure.

Scorpio-Sagittarius Cusp (November 19 – November 24)

• Follow your vision of life but don’t lose touch with where others are. Keep your intentions honest and your motives pure. Develop the objectivity to stand back and observe yourself living. Try to be more forgiving and less possessive.

Sagittarius I (November 25 – December 2)

• Strive to keep your emotions on an even level. Beware of allowing yourself an overly high-minded or high-handed attitude. Keep control over your expectations and try to be more forgiving. There is nothing wrong with compromise, or with occasionally losing. Watch your tendency to exaggerate.

Sagittarius II (December 3 – December 10)

• Try to get out a bit more and do what others do from time to time. Don’t drive yourself into a corner by believing that no one can understand you. Make an effort to let others into your private world. Resist turning off to life: keep things fresh and renew your commitment.

Sagittarius III (December 11 – December 18)

• Learn to enjoy the little things, the simple pleasures of life. Try to be more understanding of others. Apply your ethical standards to yourself and concentrate more of your energies on personal growth. Find a way to blend in when necessary and avoid ruffling feathers.

Sagittarius-Capricorn Cusp (December 19 – December 25)

• Learn to temper your intensity. By understanding yourself better, you will be less at the mercy of your moods. Work on improving social relationships and continue to befriend others. Beware of any tendencies to close yourself off. Allow your warm and loving side full rein and keep your heart open.

Capricorn I (December 26 – January 2)

• Let others take the lead more often. You may be wise, but remember that wise women learn more from fools than fools from wise women. Work hard at trying to admit mistakes when you make them. There is no particular merit in holding on to an outworn creed or outdated idea.

Capricorn II (January 3 – January 9)

• Recognize your limitations– they do exist. Allow yourself to give in occasionally, even to fail and acknowledge it. Showing your more vulnerable side should not be threatening. Try to keep your ideals grounded and be sure your “reality” is not in fact an illusion.

Capricorn III (January 10 – January 16)

• Don’t be afraid to take chances. If you do not dare to fail you may not achieve your true heart’s desire. Your insistence on security may be misplaced at times. Try to be more flexible where the feelings of others are concerned. Do not assume that your values have absolute or universal application.

Capricorn-Aquarius Cusp (January 17 – January 22)

• You must find an outlet for your creative energy. Communicate what you experience. Try not to be discouraged by lack of understanding, ignorance or negative criticism off the deep end, but, rather, find those who understand and appreciate you.

Aquarius I (January 23 – January 30)

• Clarify a realistic picture of yourself in your mind’s eye. A certain amount of undesirable personal interaction is always necessary; try to be a bit more thick-skinned and, if necessary, downright insensitive. Cultivate calm, patience and persistence rather than always going your own way. Learn to handle frustration and be tough enough to quietly demand the very best for yourself.

Aquarius II (January 31 – March 7)

• Try to get in touch with your own deeper feelings. Sometimes it is better to meet problems head on. A bit of pain now may prevent much more later. Don’t be too dependent on others’ opinions of you. Have the courage to be yourself and don’t feel you have to please or entertain.

Aquarius III (February 8 – February 15)

• Accept your need for other people and cultivate meaningful social interaction. Remain open and accepting, but demand that others accept you as you are, too. Your psychic abilities are valuable. use them constructively. Beware of allowing rejection to lower your self esteem.

Aquarius-Pisces Cusp (February 16 – February 22)

• Don’t give up on the world or retreat behind fences. If necessary tear obstructions down to rediscover your sensitive self. Learning to trust may mean ceasing to fear. Without denying your need to explore the depths and heights, take the middle road more often.

Pisces I (February 23 – March 2)

• Sometimes you need to be more aggressive. Keep in touch with everyday matters and remain attentive to your needs and the needs of others. Beware of alienation through placing yourself on a higher plane. Seeking a higher state of consciousness need not mean avoiding shouldering the work of life.

Pisces II (March 3 – March 10)

• Try to remain realistic in your outlook. Resist the lure of escapes, in all their varies forms. On the other hand, leave a window open on the world. Continue to strive for trust and acceptance, but remember to stand up for yourself as well. Improving your social position may make certain things easier for you. Your suffering may neither be unique or, for that matter, necessary.

Pisces III (March 11 – March 18)

• Be more demanding of yourself in your personal development, and contribute actively to the life around you. Beware of neglecting to build a firm foundation. There is a limit to what you are capable of overcoming–make life easier for yourself, and be willing to compromise when necessary.

–The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

August 11 – August 18

Strengths

• Commanding
  
• Heroic
  
• Creative
  

Weaknesses

• Dictatorial
  
• Selfish
• Insensitive

OVERVIEW

The Leo III period takes Leadership as its central image. This period can be likened to a time in the prime of one’s life when the right combination of experience, enthusiasm, energy, and knowledge can make one a strong candidate for positions of responsibility. Perhaps for the first time, taking over the reins of a business, club, or family and leading it to new heights can seem natural and appropriate. Such a leadership role may be a proving ground for assuming even greater roles of this sort later in life–for example, when a manager becomes a partner or owner, or a parent becomes a patriarch or matriarch. 

The days that comprise Leo III picture the adult validating his/her skills and experience, learning when to rely on conventional wisdom and when to take risks, and discovering the most effective way to galvanize a team and lead it effectively, inspirationally, and tirelessly.

Leo III’s often assume a commanding role in their family and social or work group. They have highly developed instincts to lead, but not necessarily to dominate or to rule; it is simply that action comes naturally to these dynamic individuals. They are also good planners, well capable of organizing an effective plan of attack and seeing it through. Building an effective team is essential to their continued success, and learning to delegate authority is key to stopping them from shouldering unrealistic burdens alone, which can result in burnout or breakdown.

People born during this week have a heroic view of themselves. Aggressive, Leo III’s know what they want and how to get it. They may lack consideration for the wishes of others, arousing antagonism and getting them in trouble, particularly since they are not, in fact, insensitive to what others are feeling but may choose to ignore what they know and follow their own desires. By occasionally riding roughshod over the emotions of those in their lives, they arouse resentment, fear and anger. But they may also inspire tremendous loyalty, respect and love in others, so much so that their acquaintances and friends often overlook the more selfish elements of their character.

Individuals born during this week have an overwhelming faith in their own abilities. In extreme cases they see themselves as infallible, and seek to project a godlike demeanor. Obvious problems may result from this egotistical stance, not the least of these being the loss of faith that can be engendered in their children, mates and co-workers when they get tripped up. The fall from grace that inevitably follows may result in deep disillusionment; this can impair the relationship permanently, but it can also lead to a more realistic view of their personality.

Careerwise, Leo III’s specialize in breathing new life into an ailing business or social or family group. Their prodigious energy and single-mindedness may be just what is needed to get things back on track. These folks must see their endeavors bear fruit. Watching their restructuring and its implementation bloom is enormously satisfying to them; conversely, seeing their efforts fail is usually intolerable. Because they are not easily approached on an emotional level, striving shoulder to shoulder with them in such endeavors may be an effective means of getting close to them. Such working relationships may create deep ties of mutual feeling, which sometimes last a lifetime.

If they are to ground their self-image and bring themselves into closer everyday contact with others, it may be important for them to share quite menial tasks. In particular, they will earn greater respect from family members if they shoulder ordinary, everyday responsibilities at home on a daily basis. A refusal or inability to “lower” themselves to this human level may result in tensions, frustrations and arguments. More balanced ones will avoid such needless difficulties by getting their chores done quickly and efficiently, with little fuss, thus freeing themselves up for what they view as more important endeavors.

Their creativity often runs high. Although they are capable of selfishness and narrowness in their personal dealings, in their careers their imagination, philosophical perspective, and wide range of expression often result in artistic, financial and social creations of a very high order. Many of their friends, acquaintances and co-workers, in fact, are not really so much enamored of the person themselves as they are drawn to the aura surrounding them and the work they produce.

Other strong personalities inevitably clash with these folks, and relationships with them are likely to be stormy affairs unless the other party is willing to compromise or back down. But the more clever, and devious, of their partners and mates know exactly how to soothe this savage lion or lioness. These people are not unaware of their charisma, and consequently come to value the constant love and appreciation of that very special person. In fact, they may not actually be at all aggressive toward those they love. As long as they are honored and respected, they will be generous and kind, even to a fault: they will often refuse to see anything wrong in the behavior of a favored family member, a trait that can make them quite unrealistic. Having a thoroughly spoiled mate or child is their trademark. In love, they are subject to sudden, explosive, violent and passionate displays of emotion. Their feelings are capable of smoldering under the surface for a long period only to break out unexpectedly and volcanically.

Those involved in love affairs with those born during the Week of Leadership may appreciate their searing intensity and almost total involvement, but at the same time may have difficulty with their often overbearing, combative and unforgiving attitudes. In personal relationships, although faithful up to a point, they are not particularly long-suffering, and will not hesitate to break things off if they are wounded or see little hope for the future. Coming to feel that they apply a double standard to their relationships, their partners, angry and disgusted, may rudely drop them, which can amaze the more unaware of them since they imagine things are going well. Indeed, such persons may show little interest in seeing things from the other person’s point of view.

– The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

Feel free to ask me about Leo III’s compatibility with other signs!

July 26 – August 2

Strengths

• Truth-loving
  
• Loyal
  
• Passionate
  

Weaknesses

• Frustrated
  
• Demanding
• Egotistical

OVERVIEW

The Leo I period takes Authority as its central image. This period can be likened to the beginning of the mature adult life as an individual turns thirty. Confidence can run high at this point if the doubts and uncertainty of the first Saturn return (age twenty-eight or twenty-nine) have been resolved. Beginning the process of establishing oneself as an authority in a given field can be a focus at this time and an absorbing task. Some must assume the role of authority to their growing children, while others may look to an older, more experienced person who can serve as a teacher, a guide who can initiate them into broader understanding of the world. Other Leo I’s may strengthen their sense of confidence through what they learn from books, religious or spiritual teachings, philosophy, etc.

Among the most powerfully authoritative of the year, Leo I’s are intense, hard-driving, individuals dedicated primarily to their own personal activities, growth and development. Asserting themselves and being taken seriously is what appeals to them. Also, much of their energy is channeled inward rather than outward, toward developing their own strengths and abilities. Yet they do not view themselves as the be-all and end-all either– far from it. They believe in ultimate higher authorities, which they worship and serve: usually the abstract truths and principles embodied in the practice of their principal endeavor, whether it lies in the arts, business, sports or philosophy. Although they have their heroes, it is usually these principles rather than to people that they accord the highest value.

Many Leo I’s can be highly competitive, and geared to coming out on top. Others don’t really care that much for worldly success, being more interested in bettering their own personal best. It may be difficult for Leo I’s to work for a boss, especially one they do not respect. Yet when they runt heir own company or business, they also encounter problems, since their capacity to dominate is often greater than their capacity to lead. They may work most easily with people who have been drawn to them as admirers, students or disciples; then the relationship is clear from the start. Another solution can be working on their own, perhaps as freelancers. Leo I’s can best become team players with co-workers and associates when it is clear that they are all working together for a common, usually higher cause.

Leo I’s are highly physical individuals, magnetically drawn to exciting and confrontational experiences. Those born in this week need to prove themselves repeatedly, whether in the sports arena, the wild world of nature, the jungle of corporate finance or the intimacy of the bedroom. So intense is this area of their personality that intimates and enemies alike may feel a bit ignored, for much of their striving is impersonal in nature, and basically an expression of the Leo I will to overcome. Even in more mundane, everyday activities, mates and loves periodically feel the Leo I’s detachment.

Being involved with such individuals is rarely an easy task. Their standards are extremely high, and they too often want others to show a similar intensity and devotion. In the end, however, they usually do expect more of themselves than of others, and do show an understanding of their colleagues’ and intimates’ limitations. Realistic Leo I’s will not have disproportionately high expectations of co-workers and mates but will only expect the best of which they are capable. This in itself can be a heavy enough load for them to bear. 

Leo I’s can make loyal and faithful friends. It is usually only from such intimates that a Leo I can accept advice, particularly of a personal nature. Leo I’s will not usually accept help from a colleague, professional counselor, or stranger. Perhaps once in a lifetime, however, those born in the Week of Authority may put themselves in the hands of another person to whom they ascribe almost godlike status, often a kind of teacher or guru. Such trust is not given easily, and should it fail, tremendous disillusionment will surely follow.

Most of those born in the Week of Authority would do well to work on their treatment of their fellow human beings, particularly in the areas of kindness, patience and understanding. Those involved with these tough customers must themselves be prepared to show these three traits in abundance. When the high expectations of Leo I’s are not met, they can become unusually frustrated and bitter. Also, they do not react well to negativity, nagging and constant criticism. Those who live and work most successfully with Leo I’s, then, are those whose attitudes are open, determined and optimistic.

Family life works out well for some Leo I’s; for others it is a great mistake. Rarely, however, does a Leo I deeply need it. Should they choose to be parents, they will have a lot to give; they have much to teach, are protective and inspire confidence. But their children and mates must quickly come to appreciate their need for their own space, and for time away from home. Trying to get the undivided attention of a Leo I can be a frustrating experience. Too often their idea of caring and attention may be limited to intense encounters, rather than steady displays of understanding and sympathy.

As lovers, Leo I’s are usually passionate rather than sensuous. They may also exhibit a certain detachment, or a preoccupation elsewhere. Predictable and routine circumstances often dull sexual gratification for those born in this week. More often than not, their most pleasurable sexual experiences come not with their mates or partners, but in casual, chance encounters, or in clandestine affairs of longer standing. Successful spouses of Leo I’s know how to keep the romantic flame alive through a combination of variety, skill and imagination.

Leo I’s must learn to relax and have fun or risk burnout. Those who can seduce them away from their work and their intense preoccupations will play important roles in their lives. Casual friends who can do this often experience the best that those born in this week have to offer.

–The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

Feel free to ask me about Leo I’s compatibility with other signs!

August 26 – September 2 

Strengths

• Structured
  
• Dependable
  
• Service-oriented
  

Weaknesses

• Rigid
• Emotionally unaware
• Self-destructive

OVERVIEW

The Virgo I period takes the System Builder as its central image. This period can be likened to the time in a person’s life when the instinct to consolidate and solidify existing structures, marriages or partnerships, businesses, etc, asserts itself. Also, at this time, many individuals take part in service-oriented activities, whether in their family, professional or social life. The desire to be helpful and to constructively influence the course of events manifests here. The days that comprise Virgo I symbolically reveal the mature adult beginning to apply his/her energies in the service of social ideals, perhaps working with and supporting a partner, building dependability and efficacy, and taking a more no-nonsense and businesslike attitude toward the world. This may indeed be a time when overly carefree or irresponsible individuals recognize it is time to clean up their act.

Structure is an important theme in the lives of those born during the Week of System Builders, a kind of insurance policy they inevitably fall back on in times of stress. It underlies many of their attitudes toward the world. Mental insistence and concentration are often their greatest strengths, and consequently they suffer most when emotional pressures leave them unable to think clearly or manage their affairs well. They are particularly upset by chaos, so building an effective daily routine, a practical home, or an efficient work space is essential to their mental health. Inflexibility or rigidity is also a possible outcome of such structuring, however, and must be guarded against.

Their careers often involve service. In their family role, similarly, they often care for those who need help, or provide the bulwark of dependability in everyday life. Not all of them are well cast in such roles, however, and despite their tendencies and talents to help others, they can find themselves resenting heavy responsibilities loaded on their backs. Although they seem to do well living and working with people who know how to cooperate and to share the burdens of everyday life, it cannot be assumed that they want to be team players. They need to spend a lot of time alone, and do best when their contributions to the well-being of a social or family group are made on their own terms.

They are not usually cut out for solo leadership roles, but can make excellent partners and co-workers. They like to sit back and watch, preferring to observe carefully before acting; this quality of objectivity, and the evaluations that result from it, can make them extremely valuable to a company or family. Writing reports, stating conclusions verbally, and chronicling in different media what they see around them are often some of their best-developed abilities.

These females can have a shy, demure appeal; the males are often taken for strong, silent types. Rather than acting aggressively, they typically prefer to be discovered by others. This behavior is powerfully ingrained, since they thereby avoid rejection and reinforce their power to choose. In fact, choice is crucial to them if they are to feel empowered. Yet they are capable of making unfortunate choices in lovers and friends—in personal matters their decisions are sometimes disastrous. Their objectivity about the world does not involve a corresponding realism about and awareness of their own emotions. Consequently, they can suffer from acute nervous instability and depression when they meet disappointment. Feelings of inadequacy or failure are prone to surface and can prove to be too much for them to handle.

They tend to be fixed in their mental attitudes, and this is likely to arouse antagonism, particularly from those who prefer a more spontaneous, flexible or free-flowing lifestyle. As dominant family figures or parents, they may be prone to making excessive numbers of rules, and to enforcing them overdiligently. Should they believe that people must be free to choose and act according to their own dictates, on the other hand, they may implement such beliefs with equal zeal. They may benefit from personal involvements or working relationships with more easygoing types, who just take things as they come without needing to rely on planning them out in advance.

Since learning to loosen up is essential for them, their best relationships are often with those with whom they can just let go and have a good time. These relationships with fun-loving types can prove mutually advantageous, with them providing structure and dependability and the other party providing the unserious, relaxed attitude that these folks may lack. In love relationships, alas, they may not prove so dependable, for if their emotional state is unsettled they can feel they have little to give. Seeking to withdraw, they become unable to cope with the other person’s feelings.

They can encounter problems when their service-oriented stance and practical abilities attract dependent, needy types, who drain their energies and exhaust their capacity to give. Fostering such dependencies may be a subtle form of self-destructive behavior for them, for although the need to share and to solve problems may initially provide positive common bonds, relationships with insecure and needy individuals can ultimately bring out a corresponding negativity.

Since living through others may be a temptation for these individuals, they must learn to stand up for themselves and become less self-sacrificing. Building a truly independent lifestyle, one less dependent on the needs and wishes of others, whether parents, clients, friends or lovers, may be the greatest challenge they face. In the long run, then, close relationships with highly independent people, particularly those who can demonstrate how to set limits in human interactions, may prove the most productive and rewarding for them. Even if such personalities initially seem selfish or egotistical to them, they are especially beneficial as role models. They may need to free themselves from the constant demands of other people if they are to gain the space they need to develop their own expressive, creative and financially productive side.

–The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

Feel free to ask me about Virgo I’s compatibility with other signs!

August 19 – August 25

Strengths

• Self-contained
  
• Observant
  
• Flamboyant
  

Weaknesses

• Narcissistic
• Secretive
• Nonsharing

OVERVIEW

The Leo-Virgo cusp is an admixture of the fifth sign of the zodiac, Leo, and the sixth sign of the zodiac, Virgo. This cusp can be likened to the period around thirty-five years of age in the human life and also to the actual time of year at which it occurs–the winding down of summer in the northern hemisphere. During this period of the year, grass must be cut to make hay for the winter, some vegetables harvested and others prepared for harvesting. The days grow shorter and the nights longer, fall approaches and vacation time is almost over. In human development, at the age of thirty-five, adulthood is in full swing. This is a period in which the theme of Exposure figures prominently–particularly in terms of personal development, career, and family life. At this time an individual may discover and perhaps reveal to others secret or undiscovered parts of his/her personality. In doing so, new sources of power may be accessed while a sense of identity is strengthened. Both sexes reevaluate their marriages or ongoing relationships, and wish to bring hidden matters out in the open for discussion. Unattached individuals may seek to define a more meaningful living situation for themselves.

Those born on the Cusp of Exposure are an interesting blend of introvert and extrovert. These people combine practical, earthy qualities with more intuitive, fiery traits, producing quietly inspired individuals who keep their light within. Some of them give a muted, almost nondescript first impression while concealing more flamboyant tendencies; others come across as exhibitionistic but are actually sensitive, private types. They may hide certain personal qualities, or facts about themselves, for years, but their inner flamboyance will break out periodically in even the most introverted of them when one day they reveal themselves to the world, in full awareness of what they are doing. Many of them will come to realize that self-concealment is futile—the more they try to hide, the more the world seems to take notice of them. By aiming to be more transparent, letting others see what they really are instead of hiding, they will even out some of their swings between introverted and extroverted behavior.

Such individuals who are born in unremarkable surroundings, or at the bottom of the social ladder, can be late starters in the struggle to move up in the world. Even once they get going, it is only through tremendous tenacity and willpower that they can maintain their momentum. Indeed, many can succumb to their worst fear, a life of boredom and mediocrity. Their belief in themselves is often inversely proportionate to the world’s belief in them; just when they are gaining self-confidence, in other words, others take less notice of them.

While applause is not crucial to these people—who do not need attention in the same way as others—no matter how quiet or self-contained they may be, they have a burning sense of their own worth. It is characteristic of them not to reveal the truth about themselves or show their real inner feelings until they get to where they are headed, socially or professionally. In fact, this desire to divulge, to show, can be the fuel that powers their drive toward a goal. Those who do reach the top and have carried lifelong secrets are prone to be found out, but usually through their own statements and behavior. This tendency can be viewed as a strange blend of narcissism and masochism, of self-indulgence and punishment.

These people are often outstanding observers and judges of character. They know how to watch, silently, without drawing attention to themselves. Further, they are often good at recording their impressions in thought or word, and at expressing them later after long periods of rethinking. Their associates and co-workers will often come to depend on their memory, judgment and objectivity. When able to achieve emotional stability, they can be dependable and reliable friends.

These individuals who use concealment and revelation alternately, as weapons or as ploys to get their way, must come to realize the childishness and nonproductivity of such games. Often the solution to such problems comes when they meet just one person, or a very few, who can accept them exactly as they are; through acceptance, love and trust, they can eliminate the need for hide-and-seek. Emotional immaturity may plague them until they fully accept the challenges of growing up.

People who like mysteries and detective work will like these folks, and those who take the trouble to understand them will be richly rewarded. Although they do not deeply need appreciation, kudos or flattery, they do cry out for understanding. This silent call is heard only by those sensitive enough to take notice of them, on a deep level.

Trust is obviously a big issue for them: their friends must be trustworthy enough to keep their secrets, and their lovers must be trusted to be faithful. These people do not easily attach their passion and affection to someone. If betrayed by a friend or lover, they may suffer emotional collapse.

Characteristically, they form long-lasting relationships with those who first penetrate their shield of mystery. Those who can accept them fully revealed, continuing to like them even after they show more of themselves, will become their closest, lifelong friends and partners. They may not make the best parents or the best children. Their private nature can make intergenerational sharing difficult or impossible. There may well be a family member, however, a cousin or sibling, to whom they periodically open their hearts and with whom they share their secret worlds. Such peers are valuable role models for possible mates later in life; indeed, these people may often cast their life partners in the role of brothers and sisters. Although usually far too self-centered, secretive and unattached to sacrifice themselves for family life, they can be counted on to discharge their obligations in the daily living situation, as long as the demands placed on them are not excessive.

–The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

Feel free to ask me about Leo-Virgo’s compatibility with other signs!