Request: Hello! I’d like to request preferences for the oldest three Shelby brothers and maybe Alfie for how’d they do trying to feed their young child(ren) (like 1 or 2 yrs old) when their S/O is away for the first time and the kid just isn’t having it and tries to make a mess❤️
Requested by Anonymous
Characters: Alfie Solomons, Arthur Shelby, John Shelby, & Thomas Shelby
Warnings:None
A/n: I loved this! Idk what else to say, but I loved it and it was super easy to write. And now I have baby fever, which honestly I always do, but that doesn’t matter. I just thought this was super cute and I hope you guys do too.
Alfie Solomons: Alfie was a very hands on parent and would help you feed the kids. So he never had any issue when it came to watching them alone. It would get a little messy, yes, but that was also because Cyril wanted a taste of what they were having and would always try to get in the way. If the kids were fussy over their food and refused to eat, Alfie would usually taste, he’s that guy, and agree that it was horrible. Young children had taste buds too! And he would make them something else, praying that they would like it more.
Arthur Shelby: Arthur wouldn’t know what to do. You were usually the one to feed the small toddler that was wailing in his arms. He’d watch you do it plenty of times, but obviously Arthur couldn’t replicate that. He’d do his best though. He’d be very gentle and nearly cry if he couldn’t get the baby to stop fussing over it. But eventually he would win and the baby would actually eat the food, finally realizing that Arthur was the only one who was there to feed them. Arthur was very relieved when you came home, telling you all about how picky toddlers can be.
John Shelby: John would be clueless. Yes, he has tons of kids, but you can’t tell me he ever takes proper care of them. Anyway, he would be clueless and worried the whole time. He wasn’t sure what was baby food and what was adult food in the fridge, but he’d paw through everything. The older children would try and help but they didn’t know either. John eventually found what looked like mashed peas and tried to feed it to the little babe. That didn’t go over well. He’d handed the child the spoon, thinking it was old enough to use it, but instead mashed peas just got flung all over the place. John then took the spoon back, but not before the whole kitchen was covered in little green splotches.
Thomas Shelby: Tommy wasn’t too worried about having to take care of the children alone, they were his kids after all, but he was terrified of being left alone with them. He was always worried about doing the wrong thing and usually the led to over thinking. And that’s what happened when it came time to feed them lunch. You had told him what to feed them, but he honestly couldn’t remember a word of what you’d said. So he had to go through all the food in the kitchen to find what he thought would be suitable. The ended up with leftover potato soup and mashed sweet potatoes. They seemed to enjoy it as he watched them with hawk eyes and thought it wouldn’t be too hard to have to feed them dinner.
*~~*~~*
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A/n: I wasn’t sure I liked this that much when I read it and I nearly deleted it. But I loved the first couple paragraphs so I kept it and just fixed it to my liking. It’s short and sweet, but I would totally do a second part about how Tommy reacts to learning about what he said. I think it would be cute and I love the idea of Tommy having this tough extior but melts for his s/o. That thought just kills me.
With a huff, Y/n helped Tommy down the steps of the Garrison, one of his arms draped over her shoulders while she had an arm snaked around his waist to help prop him up. She wished Arthur or John was the one helping him home, but they were just as drunk, if not more than their brother. When Y/n was woken up by a call from Finn, the poor boy had been left to tend to his older brothers, she didn’t believe her boyfriend to be as drunk as Finn had said. Tommy was usually the most sober, or just could handle his whiskey better. She hadn’t been prepared to haul the man home.
“What am I going to do with you?” Y/n ask softly, doing her best to keep them on a straight path.
Tommy mumbled something before tripping over his feet. Y/n did her best to steady him, preventing him from falling face first on the pavement. If he did fall, it would be his fault without a doubt, but Y/n knew she would feel guilty about it. Especially if it left a scratch.
“I fucking love you,” Tommy confessed, slurring his words. His eyes were tracing the outline of her jaw. She’d felt his intense eye on her as she guided them to his flat, but thought it would be far too distracting if she met his eye.
A warm laugh vibrated her chest, “Shut up and tell me this when you’re sober.” She shook her head with a smile. Though she was happy to hear such words from him, she hated that it took liquor to get him to say it.
There was no doubt Tommy loved her. You’d have to be blind to not see the love that coursed through him even just thinking about his girlfriend. As nice as that was, Y/n wished she could get verbal confirmation from time to time.
“No, I mean it,” he said sternly, his business voice coming out. “I fucking love ya. Your smile, your kindness, your warmth. I love everything about ya.”
Y/n nodded, attempting to hide her smile. She would have to remind him of his confession in the morning. She was sure he’d do his best to brush it off as a blush would creep across his cheeks. That’s what she loved the most about him, how easy it was for her to make him blush.
“I love you so fucking much I can’t live without you. Yeah, I can’t do that. No, I won’t. I’m gonna make you my wife, yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m gonna marry you!” he declared with a nod.
His girlfriend raised a brow as she listened to his little rant. She could tell Tommy was no longer talking to her and she had a feeling he’d forgotten she was the only thing holding him up. As Tommy went on and on about marriage and a wedding, Y/n couldn’t contain the bright smile that crept onto her face. She had no idea Tommy had thought so much about marrying her. Or that he wanted to have lilies in the flower arrangements. Weird.
“Tommy,” Y/n said, capturing his attention as they neared his flat. “How about you tell me all about this in the morning?” As much as she wanted him to continue, his excitement about it couldn’t be contained and Y/n was starting to struggle under his weight.
“Oh, yeah,” he breathed. “Maybe we can get married in the morning!”
“Yeah, maybe if you don’t have a killer hangover.”
*~~*~~*
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Request: Ok so this might sound weird but can you do preferences for the younger three Shelby brothers for how they would react to having an S/O having to help the with a bigger sunburn? Because I know just all of them would probably get ✨crispy✨ If there was more sun in the show except for maybe Arthur (idk why I just feel like he would burn for some reason, like he’d tab but the rest would just ) but you don’t have too if you’re not feeling it
Requested by Anonymous
Characters: Arthur Shelby, Thomas Shelby, John Shelby, & Finn Shelby
Warnings: Sunburns (they are the worst)
A/n: I added Arthur in here because you can’t tell me that man wouldn’t burn. Idk why, maybe because I get horrible sunburns, but I enjoyed writing this. Maybe because I’d like someone to take care of me when I’m all burnt. Someone that isn’t my mother who I swear does her best to make it worse. But one thing she had taught me is that vinegar will take the sting out of it. It hurts to put it on tho, so I’m not sure how willing I would be to do that.
Arthur Shelby: Arthur would come home after being outside all day, burnt to a crisp. He hated sunburns, having got them all the time as a child, and he wouldn’t fuss at you trying to help him. He just wanted the pain to go away. He’d let you help him out of his clothes and sit quietly while you rubbed his burns with aloe. He hated that you had to take care of him, but every time he winced, you would too. It was hard to see him in so much pain. He hated to admit it, but he loved it when you would take care of him, except when you’d scold him afterwards. “You know better Arthur Shelby. How many times do you have to burn before you’ll learn?” Even then, he did adore it when you’re get a little angry at him over it, it just showed how much you cared.
Finn Shelby: Finn would try and tough it out, mainly because he wouldn’t want to hear anything from you or Polly. But he is a ginger and you knew right away once you saw his once pale skin was as red as a tomato. Finn would do his best to shrug it off, but you would drag him into the kitchen, making him take his shirt off so you could have a proper look. He was crisp for sure and winced even with your fingers floating over the burnt skin. You’d click your tongue and set off to get the cream Polly had stashed away just for something like this. Finn would insist the whole time that you didn’t need to help him as you rubbed the cream into his back, but someone had to take care of him.
John Shelby: I have a feeling John would be whiney about sunburns. No matter how bad they were, he would always be dramatic about it. He did it mainly because he liked it when you’d take care of him. But the one time he came home with a really bad sunburn, he didn’t enjoy it at all. You were gentle with him as you helped him out of his clothes and rubbed aloe into it. He didn’t complain too much, which told you it must have hurt a lot to shut him up. But he was all smiles, loving how you were so willing to help him. That smile dropped, though, once all his kids came home and wanted to be all over their father. Maybe that would help him learn to stay out of the sun.
Thomas Shelby: Now, Tommy wouldn’t let on about it. He would only come to you when he needed someone to rub cream on his back. You glared at him when he handed you the container, but your eyes quickly softened when you saw how red he was everywhere. You didn’t know what he’d done to get all burnt, but you wished he’d mentioned it sooner. You were gentle with him as you rubbed the cream over his back and encouraged him to tell you next time. Tommy said nothing as you did it, but he appreciated how much you cared and knew he should have said something to begin with. He would next time, that’s for sure.
*~~*~~*
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Synopsis: It’s a race against time for both of them - for Tommy to get his life back, for her to leave her life behind.
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating and lying, death, blood, gunshots
Wordcount: 3053
It was a race against time, or more so a race against Thomas Shelby, as Y/N ripped open her wardrobe and pulled out a suitcase while her friend called up a train station to book the first ticket to Southampton where a ship would take her across the pond to America as far away from the gangster as possible.
She knew she didn’t have much time, because despite her refusal, Thomas was a bastard who didn’t know how to give up, and after wallowing in self-pity for some moments, he’d probably get a scolding from Aunt Polly to just leave her alone, which would only ignite the fire rising in his blood after she’d told him she still loved the asshole. Y/N had no doubt that was the only thing he needed to do what he should’ve done before – fight. She cursed herself for ever letting those damned words slip past her lips.
Y/N felt like a criminal, as she peeped outside the window to make sure none of the Blinders were watching which was fucking ironic considering who she was running from. Tommy probably had someone stationed around her apartment at all times of the day.
Despite them breaking up, she could always feel someone watching her, following her down the street when she came home late from work at the local seamstress’ office or when she was slightly tipsy after a night out with Mary. At least that was what she noticed.
What she didn’t know was that Tommy had bought out the apartment building opposite of hers, and stationed one of his men in the flat which’s windows faced hers, had a man up on the roof with a rifle at all times and one disguised as the front-man of the building, in case Oswald or any of his people decided to do anything even remotely shady - he’d know then and there.
But it was like the stars were smiling down on her, as all of the Peaky Blinders usually on the lookout there preoccupied with other things, giving Y/N and Mary the perfect opportunity to rush out of the house and into the car.
She was jittery the whole way to the station, leg bouncing up and down, lip between her teeth as she eyed each and every person walking down the sidewalks, slipping down the seat to get out of the line of sight if one of them happened to report back to Tommy. She needed to get as large of a handicap as possible.
“Are you sure about this?” Mary asked while she parked the car a bit down the road, watching as people rushed to the platform to not miss the train.
Y/N nodded. “I think so… I just… I have to get away from here, otherwise, I know I’ll never get over him.”
“Okay.” Mary nodded, squeezing her hand. “Just know you always have a friend over the pond no matter what, so please don’t forget to write.”
“I would never.” She shook her head. “Thank you. For taking care of me.”
“Any time. Now go.” She nudged her chin to the station. “Before you miss the train.”
And although she’d already gotten so far, it took everything in Y/N to step out of the car and take her suitcase. When she first arrived in Small Heath, she didn’t have much with her. Her plan hadn’t been to stay in the Birmingham province for long, only to bury her estranged father and take care of the legal documents. But then she met Tommy, and her world changed.
Y/N’s first thought after he’d come back to ask her out a second time was that Tommy was like a cat who’d chosen you as its family without your own put-in. Annoying, always in your way, persistently demanding things, but once you accepted the fact it wasn’t going to just let you live your life as you did – a loyal and even delightful companion emerged.
But then one day that cat knocked over a candle and set the house on fire, but where you could forgive a cat for its mistake, forgiving Tommy for his lies would be like adding gasoline to the blazing flames in her heart.
Y/N slipped between the moving figures in a haze, not really noticing she was standing in front of a carriage door until someone pushed past her inside to take their seat, her hand grabbing onto the metal bar by the side to hoist herself up.
The train let out a loud whistle. Right before she stepped through the doors, Y/N stopped. She imagined, what it would be like if Tommy was right behind her, grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around into his chest. She knew that if her fantasy was real, she’d never be able to make the trip to America let alone Southampton.
With a tentative gaze, she looked over her shoulder to scan the empty platform. No one was there.
“Miss?” The conductor interrupted her, making Y/N’s attention snap to the train. “You stepping on this train?”
She tightened her grip on her suitcase and took the conductor’s out-stretched hand.
***
It didn’t take Tommy too long to gather himself from the alley, but it took all of his strength, mental and physical, to stand up from the ground and stagger back inside the office.
Tommy unceremoniously popped in his chair, not caring about his dishevelled state or red-rimmed eyes. Let them see. Let them all see for he gave no shits at all. It’s not like it would change anything. He didn’t even hear when his Aunt knocked on the door, nor when she entered the room, calling out his name, only becoming aware of her presence when she took the seat of the leather chair in front of the table.
“Arthur said Y/N was around today.” It wasn’t a question, more so a statement. “By the looks of it, seems like you two talked.”
The man snorted. “Talked. Yeah, you could say that.”
“You have to let her go, Tommy,” Polly sighed, marching over where glasses and alcohol stood on a little bronze cart and poured the two of them whiskey. Tommy downed his drink in a second once handed to him. “You broke up with her, despite you doing it with the best intentions, you made the decision to end things.”
“She said she still loved me.” He looked at his aunt. “Is that not enough reason to fight?”
Polly shook her head giving him a pitiful smile. “I’d say she’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want you to fight for her.”
“But she loves me,” he stressed.
“And you love her,” she replied with just as much intensity leaning closer to him over the table. “So, take what she wants into account – let. Her. Go.”
Although Tommy sighed and nodded along, he knew he’d be acting quite the opposite way. The confession which had slipped past Y/N’s lips had been the only confirmation he needed to make up his mind – fuck Oswald, and fuck his threats. He needed his girl back in his life.
“Polly, I gotta go,” Tommy said standing up and shrugging on his coat.
Just as he was about to exit, he heard her mutter to herself ‘God if you’re listening, make her come back. That boy will die without her.’
He wanted to smile at that, but couldn’t. Not until she did come back.
Quickly grabbing Arthur from the bar, he ushered the two inside the Bentley and rushed to Y/N’s place.
“I don’t condone this,” Arthur huffed from the passenger seat.
“You don’t have to. Ya`jus` have to help me convince her to come home.”
The older man didn’t respond, just shook his head.
It took them about ten minutes to get to the apartment building with how clearly Tommy was speeding, but it wasn’t like a copper would dare to stop him. He’d put a bullet through anyone’s heart if they did.
Taking three steps at a time, he made his way to the third-floor apartment and rapped his knuckles against the door. It was difficult to take in a breath, and breathing became even more laboured as second after second passed when no one answered. But instead of going away, he just became more persistent, hitting his foot against the door as well until finally, the resident inside had had enough.
“What do you fucking want?” Mary hissed, ripping open the door, no doubt furious about Tommy’s incessant banging and shouting.
He was practically out of breath as he said, “Where is Y/N?”
Mary scoffed and crossed her arms. “As if I’d ever tell you. You broke her heart.”
“So, then please let me fix it,” he pleaded, and that made the woman take a step back.
Thomas Shelby never begged, not for a single thing. “You really love her.”
“Yes.” There was nothing to add or subtract.
Mary looked him up and down. “And cheating with that secretary of yours?”
“Never happened.” Tommy shook his head. “Son of a bitch Oswald threatened her life, and I couldn’t think of anything else that would be safer for her than to be away from me.”
The woman rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You men are fucking idiots. If you had just talked-”
“Yes, I fucking know, and I’ve been paying for that idiotic mistake for almost half a year now.” The leader of the Peaky Blinders interrupted her. “Now please tell me - where is Y/N?”
Mary’s foot tapped against the ground as she bit her lip. “She’s not here.”
“Then where?” He was becoming desperate now. If she didn’t spill, he’d rip the flat apart if he had to.
“The train station,” she muttered eyes cast down to the ground.
“Thank you,” Tommy breathed out and was just about to rush away when Mary grabbed his sleeve, shaking her head. “What?”
“You won’t find her there.” Mary couldn’t look at him. “She got on that train to get to Southampton… and to get on a ship to America.”
For a moment, Tommy felt dizzy. America. She’d said she’d like to visit the place someday, would like to go see a musical on Broadway like he’d taken her to West End. He just never thought she’d run away to a different continent. But even thousands of miles of ocean wouldn’t keep him away. He’d swim over it if there wasn’t a next ship to get on. But first, he’d rush to the station.
“Tommy…” Arthur grabbed onto his bicep, but his brother snatched his arm out of his hold, pointing at him.
“I’ll stop all the fucking trains if I have to.”
No one dared to argue further, and Tommy with Arthur in tow retreated back to the Bentley to rip down the streets, tires screeching as he did so. But even with all the rushing, with all the speeding and pretty much breaking all the laws of physics known to mankind, when Tommy arrived at the station, he knew he was too late, the empty platform reminding him of how viscerally opposite it had been when he and his brothers were shipped off to fight in the war.
Back then, it was filled to the brim, bodies pushing in between one another to give one last goodbye, believing it could be the verylastone ever. He’d felt so alone then despite the hordes of people. Now he almost wanted it to be filled with bustling voices and scurrying bodies because the absolute emptiness was a crushing weight of pain on his shoulders.
“Fuck,” he whispered running a hand through the short hair atop his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” His voice grew louder with every word until he was pretty much raging on the platform. He was just about ready to start punching holes in the wall when his eyes caught onto something.
The station wasn’t actually empty. There was a body laying further by the grass, a meticulously made suit covering it. Tommy’s eyes widened. He knew that suit, had wanted to stain the white shirt underneath it red with the person’s own blood for ages now. But someone had gotten to him first, and he didn’t know if he should be thankful or pissed off because there he was – Oswald Mosely with a bullet in his forehead, eyes blank and staring up at nothing.
A gun laid not too far from his hand, but despite his obvious state of death, Tommy kicked it away, but he shouldn’t have been worried about Oswald suddenly rising to kill him, but rather of the woman hiding behind the corner of the station, her gun pointed at his chest, her whole body trembling.
Although he wished to run up to Y/N and cradle her to his chest, he lifted his palms, approaching her like you would a wounded wild animal.
“It’s okay.” His voice was soft and low, but still, it startled her enough to point the gun at his head. “Y/N, you’re fine. He’s dead. He can’t touch you.”
Immediately irritation clouded her face, as she slowly lowered the gun. “I know he can’t. I fucking shot him. I thought you were one of his men or something.”
The second the gun was by her side, her finger off the trigger, he rushed to her. “What happened?” Tommy cupped her cheeks, frantically looking her over for any injuries. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” Y/N gritted through her teeth before her shoulders dropped in a big sigh, allowing her body to be comforted by his presence. “He came after me. I was – I was stepping on the train when he called out.” But after that, she didn’t elaborate just pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and kept staring at Oswald’s non-moving body. He’d have to get some of the other Blinders to help take care of it, but Y/N was his first priority.
Tommy tried to catch her gaze, but she refused. “Why didn’t you get on it after that? I’m sure they would’ve waited a bit.”
“Because he started threatening you,” Y/N seethed, hitting his chest with her palm yet instead of taking her touch away, it settled above his heart as if trying to make sure it was still beating. He swore he had died, had to have because she hadn’t gotten on the train. “You know, you are a real dick, Thomas Shelby.”
“Yeah,” he breathed out, tightening his hold on her waist. “Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry.”
“I’m not coming back to Arrow House,” she sniffled, shaking her head, making a soft grin start spreading across his face.
Tommy’s smile didn’t falter as she repeated her sentence. “I don’t care.”
“And I’m not getting back with you.”
Even that didn’t diminish his joy. “I don’t care.”
“And I don’t trust you, so you’ll have to try real hard to even regain some bit of -”
“I don’t care.” He pulled her close to him, resting his forehead against hers and taking in the first real breath ever since he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. “Because you didn’t leave which means one day, we will be together, and one day you will come back home. All I have to do is make sure I don’t fuck up as badly as I did before, which won’t be hard knowing what a nightmare my life is without you.”
Y/N sighed but didn’t pull away from him, her own hands betraying her as they slid up his back to grab hold of his coat. “Don’t hold your hopes up.”
“But I will because I will do fucking everything to make it a reality once more.”
***
The two people were at the very centre of everyone’s attention despite the George Gershwin sitting by the piano, expert fingers running over the keys, a gorgeous tune echoing around the house. When the musician had arrived at Arrow House, Y/N had almost fainted, seeing as he was her absolute favourite new composer from over in America. Tommy had simply put his hands in his pockets and shrugged as if it was nothing.
“You said you liked his music.” His tone was nonchalant, but the sparkle in his eye from watching how she admired the composer, was visible. “It couldn’t hurt to ask.”
Mr Gershwin had winked at her, and Tommy swore Y/N was just about to pass out as she took hold of his bicep and squeezed, nails digging hard into his skin. “He made a very compelling argument as to why I should visit. But next time, I’d like it if you came to see me on Broadway. I’m quite certain you’d love it.”
All she could manage was a pathetic ‘whatever you say, Mr Gershwin’.
After that, it was a lot of ‘I love yous’ from the woman to both of the men before Tommy whisked her off to the middle of the room as gentle notes of jazz fluttered through the air.
Tommy could feel her heart thudding against his chest where he’d pressed her body close to his, as close as he possibly could so only a thin layer of clothing separated the two. Slowly, the beating went from erratic to steady before it synced up to his. He smiled at the feeling, leaning in to kiss the delicate skin of her neck, his nose skimming lines up and down her throat.
“Tommy?” Y/N mumbled glancing to the side at where he’d pushed his face into the crook of her neck. "What are you doing?”
“Hiding,” he muttered against her skin, butterfly light touches of his lips fluttering over her collarbone, bodies swaying to the gentle sounds of the piano and saxophone merging into a gracious melody.
Her brows furrowed as she chuckled, nudging him in the ribs. "Do you mean hugging?”
She could feel his eyebrow rise. "Did I fucking stutter? This is my safe place.” He tightened his grip around her waist. “Now please put your arms around me.”
Y/N snorted and shook her head, but complied, closing her eyes to relish in the moment and weaved her arms fully around his shoulders as he’d asked. With everything that’d happened between them, both deserved to be held by their safe places.
A/N: I found that last bit on pinterest, but I know it originated on tumblr; the one with the ‘what are you doing’'hiding’'do you mean hugging?'just thought it was so cute I had to use it
P.S. please don’t plagiarise my work or repost it on other platforms (like wattpad etc)
Synopsis: He broke up with her, to protect her. He just didn’t know he could never repair what he’d shattered.
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader
Genre: annnnnngst baby
Warnings: swearing, mentions of lying and cheating, threats to life
Wordcount: 3637
The Garrison was loud as it was every day when a race was happening. People were anxious, trying to cure their nerves with beer, whiskey, vodka or a mix of every possible alcohol, while in truth, it only riled them up.
In turn, they went for more drinks, and slowly that cursed noose just grew tighter and tighter, until it ripped apart when a horse crossed the finish line. Then the situation depended on who’d bet on who – the lucky ones or those who knew the race had been rigged, cheered, ordering a round of celebratory shots, while those who lost shouted and grumbled, drowning their losses in the unfinished glasses before them.
Usually, Tommy would be very invested in the races, after all, it took a lot of effort to get the outcome he wanted, and he deserved to celebrate a well-done job, but this time he didn’t care. Not as the woman who’d stolen his heart sat by the bar with her best friend while flirting with some man.
“You can’t keep looking at her like that,” Arthur muttered, watching as Tommy’s eyes stayed on the figure sitting on the stool, her stocking covered legs crossed at the ankles.
“Like what?” His brother gritted through his teeth, swinging back a glass of whiskey, gaze never leaving her form.
“Like you have any rights to her.” Arthur sighed. “You made sure you don’t.”
He wanted to punch Arthur, to scream at him, rip off his moustache and shove it down his throat, because, unfortunately, he was right. Tommy no longer held any rights to Y/N, seeing as half a year prior, although she still had his heart, he had shattered hers to bits.
The thing was – that night when he’d said to Y/N he’d slept with his secretary while she’d been at home with Charlie waiting on him, he’d lied. He and Lizzie had slept before, but that was prior to Y/N even being in Small Heath, let alone in his life.
He couldn’t say the thought hadn’t crossed his mind at all, but more so to make his lies true, but he couldn’t go through with it.
It repulsed him to no end, but he needed to hurt Y/N, needed her to leave him and never come back. So far, she’d done exactly that, and Tommy had no one else but himself to blame about that.
He used to be unshakable, like a mountain, only slowly being eroded by the pressure of the wind and sea, yet still, to the untrained eye – a stoic peak rising to pierce the sky. And then she came along – that fresh cloud of rain after months of scorching drought, bringing back luscious life to his shrivelled heart.
When Grace died, it left a hole in Tommy’s chest. He’d never admit that, but it could be seen by those who knew him. He was colder than usual, worked longer and harder, rarely engaging in anything related to social events, despite his need to keep up appearances.
A year later, and he was still silently grieving the loss, despite the revelation of where his ex-wife’s true alliances laid, he’d loved her; she’d even given him a son in whose face he continuously saw the ghost of Grace.
It was a typical day, however, when his life changed. He was sitting in his office, eyes roaming over rows of numbers of the betting books when a ruckus outside in the bar broke his concentration. For a moment, he thought of letting it go, letting his brother and Henry deal with everything, but when glass started breaking, he had to step in.
“What the fuck is going on?” Tommy roared, flinging open the doors to be met by the furious face of a woman as she pointed at Arthur.
“Ask your fucking cunt of a brother!”
“Her father owes us money!” The older man pointed back at the woman. “And she refuses to fucking pay.”
“Yes, because I won’t be paying off a dead gamblers debts.” She scoffed as if it was the most understandable thing in the world. “Just because my old man was shit with money, doesn’t mean I am.”
“You will pay.” Arthur sneered.
The woman cackled, crossing her arms. “I’d like to see you try and make me. I’m sure the coppers would love to know about you extorting a person who had nothing to do with the illegal.” She threw a scalding gaze at Tommy. “Betting going on in this place, Mr fucking Shelby.”
Tommy put his hands in his pockets. “Someone has to pay.”
“Well, it’s not going to be me.” She shrugged. “Go find some other low-life to shake down. Just because you didn’t get the money before my dad kicked it, doesn’t suddenly make it my issue. Now, you either call off your dogs I see lurking outside my apartment, or I go to the pigs.”
Tommy raised his brow at her boldness. “It’s not wise to threaten a Peaky Blinder.”
“I’m not threatening.” She cocked her head and gave him a sarcastic smile. “I’m making a promise. Keep him out of my sight.” She pointed at Arthur. “And we’ll be fine.”
Arthur was practically seething by that point as the woman turned on her heels and exited the Garrison, not even throwing a single look over her shoulder. “Give me the word, and I’ll put a bullet between her eyes.”
“No need for that.” Tommy shook his head, fishing out a cigarette from the metal holder and dragging it across his bottom lip before placing it in his mouth. “I’ll deal with her.”
And he did. Sort of.
The next day he asked John who’d been placed as a scout by Arthur where Y/N lived, but instead of him threatening her for her father’s owed money, he asked her on a date. She threw her head back in a laugh, said ‘no’ and slammed the door in his face.
The day after that, he did the exact same routine, only he’d brought a box of chocolates sent from Belgium with him.
She eyed the red square as if it was laced with arsenic, crossing her arms over her chest. “If this is some sort of an apology about your stalking, it’s not accepted.”
Tommy frowned looking down at the box. “It’s more so an ‘I’d like to take you out’ more than anything else.”
“So, it’s a bribe to go out on a date?” Y/N lifted her brow and snorted. “I’ll pass.”
“Can I ask why?”
And although he was expecting a disgusting scoff from her, seeing as his gang had followed and harassed her for weeks on end, a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. “Because that box would last me ten minutes, Mr Shelby.” She bit on the bottom of her lip. “And I expect a date to be at least two hours.”
“Tommy,” he said nodding and handing her the box, which she carefully accepted. “Call me Tommy.”
This time, when she said ‘goodbye, Tommy’ and softly closed the door, his own lips lifted in a gentle smile.
It took him ninety-four days before she agreed to go on a date. At one point after the fifth time, he’d asked her out, he started to think he was overdoing it, was being creepy to the point of becoming an actual stalker, but every time Y/N looked at him, there was a coy grin playing on her lips, her eyes sparkling as he talked, her stance open and free to his advances, and he realized she was playing a game, making him chase her a bit to find out if he actually wanted her more than for a single night.
It was almost laughable how three months of getting to know one another before going to the pictures, sharing a kiss at the back of the theatre and two years of a relationship could be ended with a single sentence in less than a minute.
His relationship with his son was now damaged as well. Once, Charlie used to look at him as someone he wanted to be like, admiration in his eyes, but now, he’d even adopted the same scowl Y/N used to sport when something irritated her. She’d become a mother figure to him after Grace’s death. She loved him like her own, and didn’t care he was someone else’s biological child; she took care of him without a second thought and would put her life on the line for him. And Tommy had taken it away much like everything else good in Charlie’s life.
But he hadn’t wanted to. Ripping Y/N out from the lives of his family had been the last thing on his list, but when Oswald Mosely threatened him, he had to make a drastic decision. Well, not really him, but Y/N. Tommy simply couldn’t take the risk. She was too precious, more than any amount of money he could get, so he made up this lie that he and Lizzie had slept together.
When he’d said that, he’d expected shouting, things being thrown, sheets ripped from their bed and windows shattered, but none of that happened. Y/N simply stared at him, with disbelief in her eyes, but when he didn’t budge, didn’t say it wasn’t true, she just nodded her head and stood up from the vanity she’d been sitting in front of.
The silence in which she packed her small number of things was more terrifying than if her emotions had bubbled over and exploded. Tommy knew how to deal with that, but not with the apathy on her face. She was always so open with what she felt; Y/N never hid what was happening in her mind or heart, so when the door closed softly behind her, rather than with a loud slam, Tommy knew it was way worse than he’d imagined. And it was the biggest regret of his life, so now, despite Arthur trying to talk some sense into him, Tommy stood up from where he’d been lounging in the corner booth and went to interrupt the conversation.
Y/N’s best friend’s Mary’s eyes widened, seeing him approach, but quickly narrowed into tiny slits, as she leaned into the other woman and whispered in her ear. Even from how far he was from her, he saw her back straighten and go taut as a wire.
Tommy’s icy gaze snapped from the back of Y/N’s head to the man who was leaning closer and closer to her before he noticed the Shelby man. Instantly, like a wounded dog with his tail between his legs, he gave a small smile to the women and scurried off, making Tommy scoff, as he slid to stand next to her, arms resting on the bar countertop
“Mr Shelby,” Y/N sighed in greeting, not meeting his eyes, but staring straight ahead at the mirrored wall behind the liquor bottles. “To what do I owe this displeasure?”
Tommy pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, dropping his head. “You know I hate it when you call me that.”
“Funny thing.” She pointed a finger at him, not letting go of her now empty glass. “I don’t give a shit. And you scared away my conversation partner.”
“If he’s so easily intimidated, he shouldn’t have even fucking tried. At least find someone with actual balls.”
Y/N scowled. “Yes, because you are the expert in knowing who I deserve to be around.”
“Could we go talk somewhere?” Tommy leaned closer in, disregarding her dig.
She snorted into her glass, shaking her head. “You truly think everyone will just drop everything to dance to your tune. Whenever Thomas Shelby wants something, he gets it right then and there. Besides.” She side-eyed him. “I think you said everything there was to say. Just because you suddenly can’t lay in the bed you made, is not my problem.”
Tommy bit the inside of his cheek. “Please.” The word was lower than a whisper, and if he hadn’t been so close to Y/N, she was sure she would’ve missed the plea.
He could see her debating herself, contradictions of what to do clear as day in her Y/E/C eyes, but finally, she sighed and nodded.
“Fine,” she murmured, emptying her gin glass, leaving a bright red stain around the rim of it. “`S not like it’ll change anything, but maybe seeing you grovel will lift my mood, after you ruined it.”
Just as Y/N slid off her seat, ready to follow Tommy through the back, Mary snatched at her wrist, her eyebrows raised in his direction. “You sure it’s a good idea?”
“No,” Y/N snorted, and Tommy’s heart clenched. “But it’s apparent I don’t make good decisions, so what is one more bad one in the grand scheme of things?”
Mary didn’t approve of her friend’s logic, as she muttered something underneath her breath, but neither of them heard what she said, as they went through the office, and out into a connecting alleyway behind the Garrison.
“So.” Y/N crossed her arms, leaning against the brick wall. “What is so important you had to drag me away from enjoying my day?”
Tommy was silent for a moment, eyes simply roaming over her body. He hadn’t allowed himself that pleasure in what felt like ages, so it was hard not to indulge, but when she shifted on her feet, clearly getting impatient, he said the one thing that’d been on his mind the moment she entered The Garrison. “You look beautiful.”
Y/N lifted her brow. “Seriously? That’s what you wanted to say? Un-fucking-believable.” Her face was filled with annoyance, but the tears slipping down her cheeks showed her true emotions. It took all the willpower in Tommy’s body to not reach forward and wipe them away like he’d done on so many occasions before, and she to him. “You know, I’d say go to hell for wasting my time, but I have a feeling your life already fucking is, and you know what? It’s what you deserve.”
Without saying anything else, she started to make her way out of the alley, signalling she was done with the conversation, but Tommy couldn’t let her go, not after finally getting her to talk to him.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” he said, right as Y/N was rounding the corner and stopped dead in her tracks.
He thought he’d feel relieved finally having gotten the boulder of guilt off his chest, but he didn’t, not as she turned around, incredulous anger warping her features. “What?”
“That night I told you I’d slept with Lizzie, I lied.” Tommy shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets to hide how he was balling them into fists, nerve-wracking anxiety rippling through his body. He hung his head. “Oswald threatened you. Said he’d kill you when I least expected it, so I decided it’d be best to get you out of the direct line of fire.”
“So, you telling me Lizzie lied then?” She shook her head, disbelief still in her eyes. “Because I asked her.”
“No,” Tommy said. “She didn’t lie. We have slept together, but that was before you even arrived in Small Heath. We had something fucking ages ago, but I never slept with her while we were together.”
“And you expect this to do what?” Y/N lifted and dropped her arms. “Make me suddenly want you again? Forgive you and come back?”
In a fantasy land that Tommy desperately wanted to be in, that would be what would happen, but in real life, he knew it wouldn’t be that easy with her. She’d never made anything easy for him. It’d taken him three months to finally get a ‘yes’ from Y/N to go on a date with him, so this would be a Herculean task in comparison.
“I’m just trying to make you understand what happened that night and why it did, and maybe…” he sighed. “Maybe you could come at least visit us? Charlie misses you; he’s been asking when you’re coming back.”
“Oh, that’s fucking rich!” Y/N threw her head back in a mocking laugh. “Using your son to guilt me into bending to your whims.”
“I’m not trying to guilt you into anything.” Tommy defended himself. “I’m finally telling you the truth.”
“And what will it give me now?” She was slowly raising her voice, stepping closer and closer to him. “It won’t change how for sixfuckingmonths, I’ve been imagining you bending that fucking secretary of yours over the desk at the office, and screwing her brains out, or how every time you said you were going for a business meeting, you’d be actually at her place, railing her into the bed!”
“Ilied, okay? None of that ever fucking happened! I did it to protect you!” He exploded, taking hold of her biceps and slightly shaking her, but Y/N didn’t back down, fury written all over hers.
“And that makes everything you said magically, okay? Because fuck you, Thomas Shelby, if you genuinely believe that!” Her tone matched his vicious one. “Fuck you, for thinking lying and ripping out my heart was doing me good. Maybe I didn’t die at the end of Oswald’s barrel, but it sure as fucking hell felt like you killed me by stabbing me in the chest. And you know what the worst part is?” Y/N let out an unamused laugh, pinching her nose and shaking her head. “I still fucking in love with you, and that hurts me even more because I can’t get away from you to move on. You’re fucking everywhere, or you send your Blinders to follow me, and it just keeps on reminding me of you.”
“I’m begging you.” His voice was now low, just like he was while sliding to his knees, hands desperately digging into the soft skin of her thighs. “Please, Y/N try to understand.”
“No,” she choked out, shaking her head and stepping back, but Tommy kept his hold on her. “I never will. I’ll never understand the need to hurt the people you say you love like that. I don’t ever even want to understand it.” She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Because you ran, Thomas which tells me you didn’t love me at all.”
“How dare you say that?” He wanted to sound accusing like Y/N, but it came out as a pathetic whimper.
“Because when you love someone, youfight, not run.” She swallowed. “You took the easy way out.”
“I couldn’t risk what happened to Grace, happening to you.” He shook his head. “Not again.”
“Then what the fuck is your issue?!” She was on the border of hysterics. “You got what you wanted! Why bring this shit up now?”
“Because everything is fucking wrong!” Tommy screamed. “The bed is wrong, the house is wrong, my family hates me, Charlie can’t even look me in the eyes! Everything has become absolutely fucking wrong since you left, and I need you – I need you back.” His voice cracked; he didn’t care how pathetic he sounded, all he needed was Y/N. “I - I need you home. Come home. Please come home to me.”
She stood there in stunned silence, looking at the man who put up such a cold front before people, but she’d seen the soft underbelly, had relished in the love he could give before he so brutally obliterated her. Y/N shook her head. “You think what makes you cruel is the people you killed or screwed over, but no. It’s the fact that you don’t have a heart, because if you did, you wouldn’t be doing this right now.”
“Please,” he pleaded one last time burying his face in her stomach, finally letting the tears he’d been suppressing for the past six months, spill past his lashes. “Please come home. Come back to me, let me make things right.”
“No.” Y/N stepped away from him, his hands slipping from her skin and dropping to the ground. “You have just as much rights to me as I do to that house, to Charlie, to your brothers, Polly, Ada – anyone and anything in your life. None. You made sure of that.”
With a snap of her coat, Y/N twisted on her heels and rushed out of the alleyway, leaving Tommy much like he was sure he’d left her that horrible night – alone and broken.
***
She couldn’t breathe, as she slammed the apartment door closed; her heart beating against her ribs with such force, she was sure it’d break them, but the pain of shattered bones would be a lot more bearable than that of her ripped apart soul.
It’d taken all of Y/N’s willpower to not drop before Tommy on her own knees, shredding her stockings and pulling him in a bruising kiss. That’s all she wanted to do, it’s all she’d wanted to hear – that he loved her still, he hadn’t cheated, was desperate for her to come home, but the pain he’d caused was too much.
It broke her to bits, hearing that Charlie missed her and that the relationship between the father and son was so strained now, but Y/N shook her head. She wasn’t Charlie’s mother, not really, and Tommy had made his decision, so now all of them had to live with the consequences.
“What’s wrong, Y/N, what the fuck did he do to you?” Mary cupped her tear-stained cheeks, breath stuttering in her chest. Y/N hadn’t even thought to check if her friend was still at the Garrison, but she was glad Mary had come home. She wouldn’t be strong enough on her own to fulfil her decision.
Y/N looked at her, with tears in her eyes, steeling her heart against what it really craved. “I need to get out of England. Right. The. Fuck. Now.”
The Layers of Thomas Shelby - Unbreakable (one-shot)
Synopsis: Just because they now have a child, does not mean Tommy Shelby’s wife has started to use her brain. It’s how Tommy finds himself in a very familiar position, but not one he’s happy about, all because she is a complete menace with a lack of self-preservation.
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader
Genre: angst/fluff
Warnings: swearing, mentions of being mugged/stabbed, blood, Reader being a menace again (someone call a doctor for Tommy, his heart won’t hold out too long), smutty mentions, but nothing explicit
Wordcount: 3644
He was going to kill her. Yes, she might be his wife and the mother to their daughter, the pride and joy of the Shelby clan, but Tommy was no longer above wrapping his hands around Y/N’s neck and squeezing the life out of her body.
Tommy sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Where was she seen last?”
“Out in the park with your kiddo Sadie,” John said, taking off his peaky hat and dropping it on the table. “Asked Ada to take the little bugger ‘cause she needed to run into the shops. When she didn’t come back after an hour and a half, Ada found Arthur.”
“Jesus Christ, the girl just gave birth,” Tommy muttered, dragging a hand down his face as he flipped the betting book he’d been looking over closed. "And she’s already getting herself into trouble? Should’ve just tied her to the bed for a year or something.”
A silence settled over him and his brother, but when Tommy didn’t say anything, John piped up. “So, do you want us to do anything or…?”
“Do I want you to – of course, I want you to do something!” Tommy scoffed standing up and pulling on his coat. “Get out there, find her before she gets herself chopped into pieces!”
John was out the door before Tommy could put an arm through a sleeve, but he shouldn’t be too surprised about that. Having been Y/N’s brother-in-law for a couple of years now, John had pretty much come to expect her getting into trouble, so he had a car and a few of the Peaky Blinders on standby in case something like this happened… again.
The search, however, proved to be fruitless, and it irritated Tommy to no end, as seemingly history was repeating itself, but this time, no matter if Y/N wanted to spare the lives of those involved, he wouldn’t listen. They’d receive pure Shelby judgement once they were found.
After four hours of driving around Birmingham and having sent men to London, just in case, Tommy decided to go back to the shop and get some of the documents so he could take them home, saying to John “if someone contacts for ransom, they’ll probably call to the house, so I need to be there. Have Arthur stay here for the night, and let me know if you have anything. I’ll have the car ready to go.“
But despite trying to focus on the betting books, it was as impossible as his wife’s stubbornness, seeing as every possible option of what could’ve happened or be happening to his wife, was running rampant through his head. Tommy had made a lot of enemies, and now with Sadie in their lives, they knew one or the other loss would be absolutely devastating, which is why when eight in the evening rolled around, and there were no signs of Y/N, Tommy went over to his sister’s and took Sadie home. He needed her next to him, needed to feel her skin on his chest, her rapid heartbeat against his own, and those tiny puffs of breath tickling his skin; to know at least one of his girls was home and safe with him.
Despite all the anxiety he’d masked during the day, it had finally accumulated and reached a crashing point as he, with Sadie laying on his chest and him in the rocking chair Y/N used while feeding the little munchkin, fell into a fitful sleep, darting awake at the slightest sound, body and mind completely exhausted.
It was around three in the morning, Tommy rocking Sadie back to dreamland after she’d screamed her head off announcing she needed to be fed, Frances making some baby formula to appease the black hole in the child’s stomach when a knock at the door disturbed him.
“Lock yourselves in, and don’t answer unless it’s me.” He handed the maid his daughter before taking out a gun from a drawer next to her nappies, always ready to protect the most precious jewels of his family.
Frances nodded, and without a sound, locked the door.
His steps were silent as he went to the front door, stepping over the creaking floorboards which had been left there on purpose, to alert them of an intruder as everyone else was aware where not to step.
Right before Sadie was born, Tommy had also had all the window latches changed and the doors as well, made of as thick of wood as he could find. He wasn’t going to risk his family because of the job he did, so when he ripped open the front doors, he’d expected to find someone wishing harm as all his extended family who he trusted had their own set of keys, yet instead, it was his own missing wife.
“What a lovely greeting for your missis,” Y/N snorted, eyeing the gun. “Could you please lower it? I think I’ve had enough bullet holes shot in me to last me a while.”
Instantly he put the gun behind his trousers and stepped forward, holding her at an arm’s length, eyes roaming up and down her body. “Where the hell have you been?”
“Out.” Y/N pointed with her thumb over her shoulder, giving him a quick peck before slipping past him and into the lobby.
“Out?” Tommy was just about to yell before he remembered about Sadie, so instead, he clenched his fists, trying to curb the emotions rising in him. “What do you mean out? You disappeared for the whole day! No one could find you! We tore the city apart; I’ve been worried sick!”
“Oh, love, you shouldn’t have. You know I’ll always come back,” Y/N cooed, cupping his face and pulling him in for a kiss. Typically, Tommy would melt against her, but he knew it was a distraction strategy, his wife being well aware of what her mouth on his did to his common sense. It eradicated it, but he didn’t get to even snatch at her coat’s sleeve, as she ducked under his arm and rushed upstairs to their room
Quickly Tommy followed her, but before that, he went over to Sadie’s nursery and informed Frances everything was alright and that Mrs Shelby had finally gotten home.
The door clicked and Frances poked her head out, Tommy noting from over her shoulder Sadie was sound asleep in the crib he’d so meticulously built and carved, her stuffed horse gripped tightly in her small fingers.
“Does the missis need any help getting ready for the evening?” Frances asked, quietly stepping out of the room and closing it.
Tommy shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “No, it’s alright, I’ll take care of it. You should get some rest too, I’ll let you know if anything’s needed.”
Frances nodded and with one last ‘goodnight’ diverted to her quarters, while he gathered himself a bit, otherwise, he was sure not-so-sweet things would escape his mouth when he confronted Y/N about what had happened.
As he entered to stand at the opening of their room, anger was written all over his face clear as day, at least to her. Others wouldn’t be able to see it through the poker-face he always sported, but Y/N knew every twitch and tell of her husband. He was absolutely furious.
He nudged his chin at her, observing her state. “What are you hiding?”
“Whatever do you mean?” She shook her head, trying to give him a coquettish, smile, but he just squinted at her.
“I mean.” He stepped into the room. “Why haven’t you taken your coat off?
“Maybe I’m cold?”
He motioned to the roaring fire in the hearth. “I always keep it going throughout the day so you’re not chilly at night. Try again.”
“Well, maybe I just like it.” She trailed a hand down its sleeve. “I mean, it’s cashmere and in such a gorgeous colour. I just don’t think I wear it enough. Don’t you think I look beautiful in it?”
Tommy placed his hands on his hips and walked to tower over her. “You have a dress made of exactly the same material in exactly the same colour, and you only fish for compliments like that when you’ve done something stupid.”
"Please don’t be mad at me,” Y/N whispered as she winced while sitting down on the bed not daring to look at him.
Tommy gritted his teeth and puffed out a breath. "Why?”
“Because I may or may not have potentially gotten myself stabbed?”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Well, seeing as I am bleeding from a hole in my side which wasn’t there before, I think I am telling,” Y/N muttered, and Tommy noted the slow way she was saying the words. The panic had been underneath that ocean of calm of his all the time, but when he noted the first signs of her starting to lose consciousness, that’s when it overtook his senses.
“Hey, look at me.” He cupped her cheeks, and she gave him a delirious smile dissolving in his touch. “Don’t you dare pass out! Polly still needs to give you a talking.”
Y/N dragged a finger down his chest looking at him coyly. “You could give me a talking if you know what I mean.”
Tommy rolled his eyes, hands gently going to the lapels of the coat and pulling it off, eyes widening at the sight of red starting to stain her right side, her white and black polka dot dress now splotchy with blood. She’d obviously found some bandages if it’d taken it so long to start bleed through, but the wound probably needed stitching, not just light wrapping.
"Who did this to you?” he asked, voice low, but Y/N pulled her lips in a tight line and shook her head while he went and got a bottle of vodka which he soaked a gauze with, and she unwrapped herself from the dress, slightly swaying on her feet, the silken material slipping to the floor leaving her in just her undergarments and garters. She’d even managed to lose her shoes. He sighed. Her and her shoes…
Tommy went back to her and tucked open the end of the wrapping, gently removing it from around Y/N’s waist. The gash was small and shallow, but blood was still pouring out of it, so while she laid down on the bed, their white sheets stained red immediately, he found some suturing needles and stitching thread. “I’m gonna ask only once. Who did this to you?”
Defiant silence greeted him as his wife stared back at his blue eyes, annoyance shining in hers. Tommy dropped his head. “Why can’t you, at least for once in your life just listen to me? Just do what you’re told.”
Y/N let out a teary chuckle as she hissed and dug her nails in his biceps while Tommy pressed the alcohol-soaked cloth to the wound. He knew that feeling well, so the fact that she wasn’t calling him every name under the sun, probably meant she was becoming very delirious, and he needed to quickly patch her up. “Well, you didn’t fall in love with me because I was so good at listening to you or because I was such an obedient little wife.” She smirked and wiggled her brows. “But I can be a very good girl if you ask me nicely.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tommy muttered, wiping at the edges of the wound and disinfecting the needle and thread. “Why are you horny right now? You’ve been stabbed.”
“How can I not be?” She dragged a hand over the waistline of Tommy’s trousers pushing her fingers behind the belt. “When I have such a handsome husband. Besides, me being injured has never stopped us from having fun.”
“No, it hasn’t.” Tommy leaned to hover over Y/N’s face. “But during those moments, you weren’t actively bleeding out. Now take a drink and lay still so I can stitch you up.”
She rolled her Y/E/C eyes. “You’re no fun.” But no more complaints came from her mouth as she accepted the vodka bottle, took a generous swing of the contents and allowed Tommy to close the wound in her side. By the time he was tying the last knot and putting a bandage over it, Y/N’s eyes were starting to droop, the adrenaline having left her system and now just wishing to sleep the rest of the week away.
More times than he could count, Tommy had had to take Y/N up to their bed. Even when they hadn’t been `together`, he always made sure if she fell asleep somewhere that wasn’t her bed, she’d wake up warm underneath her sheets. Her body was nothing but a feather at this point, so used to the weight and motions of lifting her up and pulling away the covers to lay her down on them.
“I was doing research,” Y/N grumbled, underneath her breath as Tommy tucked her in.
His groomed eyebrows rose to the middle of his forehead. “Research? For what?”
“My book.”
Tommy dragged a hand down his face. “And how was getting stabbed involved in it?”
“It wasn’t,” she sighed. “But hey – now I’ll be able to accurately describe what it’s like to get stabbed in full detail.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I think it is.”
“You also think Finn is a comedic genius, so your judgment is way off here, love.” Y/N pouted at that, but Tommy just bit on his bottom lip instead of leaning down and kissing it away like he normally would. “Why aren’t you telling me how you got hurt? Was it…” Something dawned on him, and his whole being straightened out, deathly calm overcoming him. “Was it Grace?”
“No.” Y/N opened her eyes, shaking her head and ran a reassuring hand down his chest to slow that racing heart of his. “No, it wasn’t her. I’d never let that woman get within hundred feet of me, and if I did there’d be a bullet in her head.”
Tommy was completely lost. “Then who?”
“It’s stupid.” Y/N covered her face with her palms and then hissed as she pulled at the stitches, Tommy grabbing her wrists and tenderly pulling them down to rest by her sides, his thumbs rubbing circles against the skin on the inside of them.
“Just tell me.”
His tone was almost pleading. Tommy never begged, he wasn’t one to do that unless it came to his wife. If she asked him to get on his knees, he’d do so without so much as a peep, if she demanded he plead, he’d do so as if his life depended on it, and Y/N had abused that power over him many a night during moments where he so desperately chased pleasure, pliable clay in her masterful hands, mouth, but most of the time in his favourite place, wrapped tightly in her warm cunt, milking him for all he had.
“I got mugged,” she finally muttered, a big pout on her lips, as she avoided Tommy’s gaze, but he just frowned, already mentally on his way to find out who’d dared to do that to his wife. He was very much so surprised there were still idiots around them who didn’t know who Y/N was and what happened to those who tried to hurt her.
“And how is that stupid?”
“Because I’m a Shelby, and I couldn’t fight off two men with pocketknives,” Y/N groaned, throwing her head back against the pillows. “Do you know how embarrassing that is?”
Tommy sighed, leaning over her and pressing their foreheads together, a gentle hand cupping her cheek. “You gave birth barely a month ago.”
“So?”
“So?” He rolled his eyes, before softly smiling at her. “So, I’m not expecting you to be able to even properly walk, let alone fight. Which is why from now on, I’d prefer if you didn’t go off like that alone again. I know you never take my advice.” He gave her a stern look, and Y/N sunk deeper into the pillows. “But this time, it won’t be a suggestion, but an order.”
“Why?”
“Because apparently when you’re on your own, you have this way of attracting trouble.”
“Not true.” She poked his side, smirking. “I got shot standing right next to you.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me,” it was Tommy’s turn to grumble, before sighing and leaning down to untie his shoes. It didn’t appear he’d be getting any more work done, seeing as that night he’d not only have to take care of their little Sadie but his wife as well. “I just,” he started and then swallowed, the words he wanted to say one of the hardest to get out. “I need you to be more careful. I already told you, the only thing that’d ever break me is losing you, and now that we have a kid… I can’t do this without you. It won’t break me; it’ll shatter me to the point there won’t be anything to put back together. I need you more than anything.”
“I know I worry you,” Y/N muttered, lifting her hand so that her fingers could trace the knife-sharp cheekbones. "And I’m so sorry, as it’s not my intention, and you have to know that I’ll fight until my very last breath to come home to you, to Sadie, but you also need to know, I’m like water, so you don’t have to concern yourself so much about me,” she mumbled, sleep lacing her words and thoughts.
“In what way?”
“I’m unbreakable.”
“But water is liquid.”
“Exactly,” she muttered.
Tommy’s brow furrowed. “That’s not how things work,“ the words were soft as he was trying to figure out what her incoherent mind meant.
But there was no reasoning with Y/N at that point, as her delirious brain made her say, “Of course, it does. Water never breaks, well, except when it’s frozen, but then it’s ice, so it doesn’t count, or when you’re pregnant, but that’s not even water, and that’s not the thing breaking and -,” yet Tommy wasn’t truly listening anymore, just smiled at the sound of his wife’s rambles, while he unbuttoned his shirt, and took off the trousers to quickly rush into the bathroom and give his face a quick wash because he was definitely not gonna be able to have a normal shower or bath that night.
It took him two minutes, but when he returned, Y/N had already snuggled into his pillow. He’d have a hard time later on in the night retrieving it to put under his own head. She always had an iron tight grip on it if she fell asleep like that. “Can I ask you something?” she mumbled, more asleep already than awake.
“That depends.” He sat back down on the side of the bed and pushed a strand of hair away from her face. “Will it end up with me banging my skull against the wall because of your recklessness?”
Y/N shrugged. “Maybe.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “What is it, love?”
“Will you paint my toes in the morning?”
He lifted a brow. "And Ada can’t because…?”
She frowned, opening one of her eyes. “Because she doesn’t know how to stay in the lines. I end up with painted toes, not nails, and I want to wear those strappy shoes with the open front to the gala we have in two days; the ones you got me before my feet swelled three times their size.”
“What makes you think I’ll be taking you to the gala? You don’t have that good of a track record with them, and you have a very much so bleeding hole in your side.”
Y/N scoffed. “I’m your wife. Of course, you’ll take me.”
“You know, I did save your life,” he chuckled, sliding underneath the covers. “Shouldn’t I be the one making demands as you owe me now?”
“Nope,” Y/N popped the `p`, shuffling closer to Tommy and the warmth radiating from his body. “God wanted me dead, but you didn’t let me. Now I’m your problem.”
“What?”
“I mean – he wanted me dead.” She winked up at him. “Now you get to find out why.”
Tommy sighed, dropping his head into the crook of her neck. “You will make me go grey before I even should.”
“Oh, no, that.” She poked him in the sun tattoo. “Is Sadie’s job. And trust me – she’s going to be even worse.”
He rolled his eyes, smiling at her. “She’s an angel.”
“Yeah, for now, but just you wait.” Y/N snuggled into his body, while Tommy’s arm wrapped around her waist, wary of her hurt side. “She’s the merged version of us, and honestly, I don’t think the world is prepared for that. And neither are we.”
Tommy closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s temple. “Well, it’s a good thing then that she’s not allowed to grow up.”
“Go and try to tell her that.” She yawned, body relaxing in his safe hold. “You should know better than anyone that Shelby women have a hard time listening to what they’re told.”
“I think, I’m gonna go enlist for a war again.”
Y/N snorted, shaking her head before her own arm settled around Tommy’s waist as it did most nights. “Good luck with that.” She pressed a kiss to his chest, right above his steadily beating heart. “You won’t get out of the bed, let alone the country. I am never letting you go without a fight, and trust me – I’ll take on an army before that is even an option.”
Tommy couldn’t help the smile he seemingly had permanently etched on his face whenever Y/N was around. Not that he was complaining. He never wanted to be let go by her. After all – she was his home, and there was no place like it.
Synopsis: For the first time in his life, Tommy has everything he wants, but when his wife starts doubting things, all he can hope is that he can fix everything.
Warnings: swearing, talks of birth and pregnancy (I literally cannot think of anything else, but if you do see something, please let me know :) )
Wordcount: 3341
The light that filtered in through the room was soft as it gently glid over the two entwined bodies lying in bed.
One of Tommy’s hands was underneath Y/N’s cheek as she still slept, while the other was on her ever-growing stomach. Nowadays he pretty much never took his touch away from it, just waiting for the moment when their little miracle would kick for the first time. Even when they were walking down the street, coats covering their bodies, his arm would be wrapped around Y/N’s back and firmly placed at the side of her stomach so he wouldn’t miss a thing.
They found out about the pregnancy two weeks after they’d last seen Grace. Together Tommy and Y/N had gone to Polly’s for a pre-Christmas dinner and to decorate the tree, but she barely got to take her coat off, when the older woman gasped, one hand instantly going to squeeze her left breast.
“Ow, what the fuck, Pol?!” Y/N exclaimed, jumping back and putting her hands in front of her chest as if Polly was gonna go for them again, Tommy stepping forward as if he was her bodyguard, no matter who tried to hurt her.
“You’re pregnant,” she whispered, eyes wide and glimmering with joy, while Tommy’s snapped down to Y/N’s stomach as if he could see through and into her womb. “You’re pregnant!”
“No, I’m not,” Y/N shook her head, body rooted in the spot from her words.
“Yes, you are.” Polly countered reaching for her crossed arms and pulling them down by her sides her gaze wandering over her body. “Your tits are bigger, they hurt when they’re touched, and you have that – that glow only pregnant women get.”
Tommy cupped his wife’s face making her look at him. “Is this true? Did you know?”
“Of course not!” Y/N scoffed. “I had none of the symptoms.”
Tommy’s eyebrow lifted at that.
Y/N rolled her eyes shooting Polly a look, who was grinning like a madwoman. “I thought my tits were bigger and hurting because I was about to bleed for a week. Like I do every month, remember?”
“But you haven’t.” It was like Tommy suddenly was enlightened. “You didn’t bleed last month.”
She scoffed looking him. “And how would you know?”
“For one, you haven’t asked Frances to boil the rags, and two,” Tommy now fully stepped before Y/N, leaning in so his lips skimmed the shell of her ear. “We’ve been shagging every day of the week. You never let me do that when you’re bleeding.”
And that same enlightenment came over Y/N. “Holy shit. I think I might be pregnant.”
“You are,” Polly piped up, having gone to the kitchen, two glasses of champagne in her hands. Y/N was already reaching for it when Polly pulled it back and handed it to Tommy, a pout forming on her lips.
“Nothing like this for you, for some time now.” Polly scolded her with a smile, while Y/N rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest, but she still saw Tommy’s wide smile as he lifted a glass mimicking Polly.
“To the newest Shelby of the family,” she said, softly smiling while Tommy kissed Y/N’s temple, hiding his nose in her hair just for a moment to revel in the news.
“To you, Y/N,” he whispered and clinked the glass with his aunt, downing the drink in one go.
Y/E/C eyes didn’t take their gaze off him, which made him let out a nervous chuckle.
“What?”
Y/N looked both of the Shelbys before scoffing and entering the living room to start decorating the tree. “This sucks! You knocked me up,” she pointed at Tommy who was leaning against the doorway, amusement glimmering in his eyes as he put his hands on his hips. “And now I can’t drink? Nope, that’s not how things are going to go.”
“And how are they going to go?” Tommy was smiling as he grabbed the box filled with baubles from the settee it was resting on and took it to Y/N, who fished out a golden and red ball, twirling the string around her finger.
“Like this,” she gave him her most devious grin. “Whatever I can’t do, neither can you. No smoking,” she listed off. “No drinking, no nothing.”
Had Y/N not known who and what Tommy was, by the pout on his face, you’d never be able to tell he was one of the most notoriously dangerous mobsters in all of England. “That is cruel.”
“Call it solidarity,” Y/N said, throwing him the bauble, which he easily caught. “Now chop-chop, baby daddy. The tree won’t decorate itself.”
Christmas had now become his favourite holiday, and he couldn’t wait for the next year’s celebrations with one more Shelby added to the family. Tommy seemed to be pretty much floating through life now after he found out about their addition. He was still conniving when it came to business, eyes cold as the iced colour of them, but whenever he saw Y/N he lit up like the tree they’d decorated.
Once the fourth month rolled around, Tommy couldn’t wait anymore and started to build the nursery, refusing Y/N plea to have constructors come in and help.
“You’re creating them,” Tommy had smiled, letting his palm glide over her robe covered stomach. “So, let me create something as well.”
Y/N’s lips pulled up in a smile, as she cupped his cheeks. “Okay,” she muttered and pecked his lips. “Okay. But how about you do it during the daytime, instead of at three AM?” Her eyes shot towards the large grandfather clock in the hallway. “And not leave your pregnant wife alone and cold in the bed?”
“You’re trying to guilt-trip me,” Tommy smirked, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist and pulling her into him. Her own arms weaved around his neck.
“Very much so. And I would also very much so like to get some rest.”
“Okay,” he sighed, and hung his head, pressing their foreheads together. “Alright, let’s get you some rest.”
“And you,” Y/N added raising her brow at him as they exited the nursery and closed the door behind them. “If you think I’ll be the only one waking up at night to take care of the little one once they’re born, you’re dead wrong. It takes two to tango, and it’ll take two to raise them.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And because it was true, that his wife was creating a baby in her body and needed to get more sleep than usual, he worked on the crib during the evenings, leaving work earlier during the day, so at night he could sleep next to his wife and watch over her.
It was during one of those evenings when Polly had arrived at Arrow House to give Y/N some company and the two could have a late luncheon, when Tommy overheard the two talking. He’d been walking down the stairs to go find some wood glue and screws, finally being at the point he could start putting the crib together when the two female voices invaded his ears.
“I want them to have Tommy’s eyes.” Y/N smiled at Polly, as his aunt placed a teacup in front of her. “’S all I’ve been seeing in my dreams – a little chubby face with Tommy’s eyes.”
His heart had to have physically grown in his chest at that moment because he was sure the love that’d filled it for the past two years now, two wonderful, frustrating, respect-filled years since they’d met, had doubled if not tripled in size.
“Actually, maybe not,” Y/N mumbled, looking at Polly, eyes wide. “Sometimes his eyes scare me.”
That made Tommy frown. If there was one thing in life he didn’t want, it was for Y/N to ever be afraid of him. And she’d never, even at the moment he’d been completely unhinged, had shown any signs of fear.
“How so?” Polly asked.
“Like,” his wife huffed, looking down at the tea leaves swirling in the hot water. “Like I sometimes feel like he can see through my soul or read my mind. It’s terrifying.”
Polly chuckled shaking her head. “What - you afraid he’ll find out about your secrets?”
“Of course, I am!” Y/N exclaimed, and Tommy’s heart clenched in his chest. He hadn’t been aware there were any secrets between the two. He didn’t pry into her business with the publishing house nor did he ask her to read any of her writing while still in the beginning phases, knowing how intimate such an action could be, but after everything they’d gone through, Tommy assumed both were open books to one another.
“God, if he actually can read minds, which I wouldn’t be too surprised about, given you and your scary baby prediction skills,” Y/N nudged her chin towards Polly. “I’d be so dead. That couch in his office, the one he got imported from Italy? I spilt wine all over the cushions on the first day it came. Red wine. Tried to get it out, but nothing would help, so I just flipped them over. I saw how much it cost.” She snorted leaning closer to Polly. “He’d wring my neck for it if he knew. And let’s not talk about that one silk shirt he’s been looking for the past month, which I accidentally burned a hole through with the iron. He still thinks Frances is doing some ‘maid magic’ to it when actually I threw it in the fireplace and lit it up.”
“Why’d'ya burn it?”
Y/N scoffed at Polly’s question. “That was evidence! Besides,” she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “When all that happened, we weren’t… well, we weren’t the way we are now.”
If Tommy’s heart had been pinched by the thought of his wife not trusting him, then now it warmed feeling that love fill it up again, knowing the kind of secrets she was keeping. They weren’t life-changing or love-altering ones, like the ones Grace had kept, ones that had broken him completely and utterly. They were small ones, things Y/N wanted to keep from him because she’d known he’d be upset or frustrated, while she tried to resolve the issues, tiny secrets so his life was easier, filled with less stress.
He looked at his aunt, her lips pulled in a small smile, while she squinted at Y/N. “Okay, but what’s the biggest thing?” Polly asked.
Y/N averted her gaze. “What do you mean?”
“The biggest secret you’re keeping from him? It can’t be a burned shirt or a ruined couch. Something else is pressing on you.”
His wife let out a large sigh, dropping her head down while her shoulders slumped as well. Now Tommy was truly afraid. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but now he simply couldn’t turn back.
“When the baby is born…” Y/N pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “I want him to be there for me. For us.” She placed her hand on her stomach. “I know it’s women’s business, and men aren’t supposed to get involved, but I’m scared shitless, Polly, and I need him there. We created this; he should be there.”
“Then ask him,” his aunt said like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Y/N scoffed and downed the last of her tea. “How? He’ll probably say no.”
Polly levelled a gaze at her. “That man is incapable of saying no to you.”
“Oh, trust me, he has. This one time -,”
“I’d never say no to that,” Tommy interrupted whatever Y/N was going to say, finally emerging into the kitchen, startling his wife, but not his aunt who’d known he was just right around the corner, and now Tommy had a sneaking suspicion, she’d coaxed that out of her because, on her own, she wouldn’t have brought it up to him.
“How long have you been there?” Y/N whispered, large Y/E/C eyes staring at him.
Tommy shrugged stepping before her and parting her legs so he could slot between them. “Long enough. And it hurts me you’d ever dare think I wouldn’t be there for you. Even if you’d need me to hold your hand while walking from the bed to the bathroom – all you have to do is tell me, and I’ll be there. You said it.” He put his palm over her own, where it still rested on her belly. “We created this. This is ours. It would be an honour to be there for you both because I want to be there. I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable by that thought or feel pressured by it, so I didn’t say anything.”
“Are you – are you sure?” There was a new uncertain note in Y/N’s voice, something he’d never heard before from her. She was always so confident, his ever-certain rock. “Because once you see how it happens, you won’t unsee it. It might… it might make you not want me anymore.”
“Look at me girl,” Polly grabbed Y/N’s free hand in hers and squeezed it nudging her chin at Tommy. “If that lad ever does or says something that makes you feel that way, you come to me. He might be my nephew, but I’m not above cutting things off.”
And although all of them let out small laughs, Tommy shifted in place, knowing she wasn’t throwing around empty threats.
“You’re the one bringing this life both of you created into the world.” Polly’s tone was stern. “You. Not him. So, what you say goes.” Her gaze shot to Tommy. “Got it?”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
After that, the luncheon passed relatively smoothly, but even with everything now out in the open, Tommy could feel that Y/N was still holding something back, even as he helped her undress that night and slipped into her nightgown, he actually wished he could read her mind.
“I can see those cogs in your head turning so fast they’ll snap,” Tommy said, placing his watch on the bedside table before sliding between the sheets, laying on his side, and propping his head on his hand, the other returning to its usual spot on Y/N’s stomach where she placed her own palms over his. “What’s going on up there?”
“Do you really want to be there?” She looked at him, small fear in her eyes. “Because it won’t be pretty.”
Tommy snorted, leaning in to press his lips against hers and placing his forehead to rest against hers. “I’ve been to war, and you know what my business involves. None of it was or is pretty, I’d say.”
“Yes, but this is different.” She sighed, glancing up at the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting painting in the world. “You’d have to see something the size of – a – a – football being pushed out of my vagina. I heard sometimes women shit themselves and things… tear…” Y/N grimaced at that before finally glancing over at Tommy. “Would you really be able to find me beautiful, find my body beautiful after seeing something like that?”
“No, what I’d be seeing is my wife, bring our baby to life.” Tommy let out a heavy breath. “Is that what this is about? You scared about me watching you give birth?”
“I’m scared that after this, you won’t find me attractive anymore.” She whispered into the skin of his neck. “I don’t want to become one of those poor women whose husbands got their heir or whatever, and then start searching for other, younger, prettier women whose bodies haven’t been ruined.”
“First of all.” Tommy’s hand slid down Y/N’s side, before settling on her hip and giving it a squeeze. “Your body has not been ruined. You should never think that, nor do I, and if I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, I will tell what you said to Polly, and you’ll have to deal with that. Second of all, you’re creating a new being inside you, of course, it’ll change.”
But even that reassurance didn’t make Y/N smile or even lessen the frown on her face. “I’ve gained weight though.”
Tommy shook his head. “And?”
“And what if I can’t lose the weight?”
His brows furrowed, and Y/N on instinct pressed her thumb between them, trying to smooth the skin out. “Why would you need to lose the weight?”
“So, that afterwards I’m more pleasant to look at.” She grumbled as if annoyed, but he could see tears brimming along the bottom lash line. It pained Tommy to see her cry unless it was of laughter or when drowning in waves of pleasure. “So, you’re proud to stand next to me and call me your wife.”
“I’m never going to search for anyone else because I don’t need anyone else.” Tommy kissed both her lids before giving her a deep kiss on the lips. “I love you, and I’m in love with you. When we got married, although it wasn’t under the perfect circumstances, I meant what I said – for better or worse till death do us part. You’re mine, just as much as I’m yours. I swear that to you. And I am proud you’re my wife; I’m proud to be your husband, and every day everything I do is so that you’d be proud to stand next to me, okay?”
“Okay,” Y/N sighed. Tommy knew she wasn’t still fully convinced, but he’d get there in time. He’d make sure she not only heard him but believed him. “Good. Good. Because I don’t share, and I’d probably end up behind bars if I saw you even sneak a glance at someone else.”
Tommy snorted, cupping her cheek. “I know you don’t. Almost cut off my finger that one time when I tried to take a bite out of your chocolate cake.”
“In my defence, it was really good chocolate cake.”
“Yes, it was,” Tommy chuckled, snuggling closer to his wife, and placing a kiss on her collarbone, right on that scar which’d started everything, but when she didn’t lean into the touch and sighed instead, he pulled back, brow furrowed. “But that’s not all, is it?”
For a moment, she didn’t respond, just worried her bottom lip between her teeth, which made Tommy sigh, as he tenderly pulled it out with the pad of his thumb. “What if I’m a bad mom?” Her voice was low, and had she not been laying so close to him, Tommy wouldn’t have probably heard it. “I mean I can barely take care of myself and keep myself from being hurt, how am I supposed to make sure a child is alright?”
“Thank you for admitting that,” Tommy said, and Y/N shoved at his shoulder, scoffing.
“I’m serious Tommy.” Both her hands were now protectively placed on her stomach. “How am I meant to do this? I don’t know what the hell is going on in there,” she pointed at her stomach. “How am I supposed to figure out what to do when they’re out here?”
“You know you won’t be doing this alone, right?” Tommy kissed her collarbone again. “I won’t let you do it alone. And Polly will be there, and Ada, John, Arthur, Esme – everyone and anyone you want to be involved will. We’re in this together, and we’ll be alright.” He whispered, pulling Y/N in for a kiss. “We’ll be just fine. All of us.”
Y/N’s chest fell, as she sighed into the kiss, and then broke apart, laying her head on Tommy’s chest, listening to the sure and steady beats of his heart as the rhythm lulled her to sleep.
They drifted off like that, legs intertwined, chests pressed against one another with Y/N’s head on Tommy’s shoulder, his arms a protective hold around her, the morning light now rising to shine through the window.
Yeah, Tommy could be soft and could be wrathful to those who decided to harm his family, but most of all he was finally, after years of misery, pain and numbness, fulfilled.
So it started out as a one-shot, but in turn it has sort of become a series of stand-alones featuring the same reader, which is why I created a separate masterlist for all one-shots involved in this series. Chronological order of posting is going from top to bottom :) Enjoy
Warnings: swearing, blood, implied sexual assault, sexy times (just a lil bit smutty), injuries, Y/N being a menace and doing and saying dumb things when she shouldn’t
Wordcount: 4486
Wrath was something Thomas Shelby was very familiar with. He felt it course through his veins whenever he saw and had dealings with rival gangs, he felt it overtake his mind whenever a business transaction went awry, and he felt it blind his sight whenever an employee screwed something up, ruining things for him. But never had he felt such absolutely consuming rage as he did when he came back home, entered his room, and found it trashed with blood spatter on the windows, mirror, and his marriage bed without his wife anywhere in sight.
He knew someone had taken her. He`d gotten threats about it before, and although he didn`t think anyone would be stupid enough to actually go through with them, he`d increased the security around her. That is on top of the security measures he`d taken after what had happened at the charity ball where Y/N had ended up taking a bullet to the shoulder. It seemed that not only would he have to kill whoever took her, but also the imbeciles who hadn`t done their jobs.
She`d put up one hell of a fight, that was visible as day, but he didn`t expect anything less from her. A week after he`d taken her home from the hospital, she`d snuck out of the bed, despite being under strict orders from the doctor (whom Tommy, for the first time in his life, listened to and enforced fully), was by the stove and cooking herself some lunch.
Y/N had swatted at him with a ladle where the soup was boiling as he rushed to pull her away. “I`m hungry.”
“It`s why I pay for a fucking chef!” Tommy exasperated. “Where even is he?”
“Don`t know, and don`t care.” She huffed. “I want food right now, so I`m making it.”
“No, you are going back to bed.”
His wife snorted and placed a hand on her hip, fully turning to face him. “You know what, I think I’m starting to agree with the people who say a woman’s place is in the kitchen. It’s where we polish our knife skills so, later on, it’s so much easier to cut up our nagging husbands.”
She had seeped so much into Tommy’s being, his eye roll could now rival hers. “How about a concerned husband whose wife got shot three weeks ago?”
“Exactly,” Y/N said with a smile. “I got shot three weeks ago. Not you. So I get to do whatever I want, and if that includes making fucking soup, you have no choice but to let me.”
The two stared at one another, Y/E/C stubborn eyes into the piercing blue of Tommy’s. If it had been a tug of war, the rope would have snapped in half because of the evenly matched tension.
“That’s it,” he huffed and quickly picked Y/N up bridal style before she could do anything, the ladle dropping on the floor.
“Wha - but my soup!” she whined, placing her chin on Tommy’s shoulder as he took her upstairs. Even though he couldn’t see the pout he knew it was there.
Tommy puffed and shook his head, entering their room and gently placing Y/N in the bed. Although she no longer had the full wrap around her body, the doctor still recommended for the wound to be wound under a gauze, and every evening he made sure to clean the stitched-up skin before putting a fresh covering over it.
As she scowled, he tucked his wife under the covers, placing both her and his pillows under her head, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at her face.
“I’ll make you your soup.” He pecked her lips, and she reciprocated but made a face at him. “What?”
“You can’t cook. That’s why you hired a chef.”
He pointed a stern finger at her. “I will make you your god damned soup, and if it tastes like ass, that’ll be your punishment for getting out of the bed.”
“God, you’re horrible,” Y/N groaned, but there was a smile on her lips. “I have married a monster who loves to torture me.”
Tommy leaned over her body, hands braced by her head as his mouth skimmed over hers, making Y/N choke on a breath. “Oh, you have no idea what kind of torture I can put you through. When that shoulder of yours heals, I’ll show you just what I think about doing to you.”
She looked properly frustrated, and even with the duvet covering her, Tommy saw her start rubbing her thighs together and being still pissed off about her getting out of bed, he leaned down and sucked a bruise on her collarbone just to prolong her agony. When her hands started threading through his hair, he pulled himself away before strutting out the door, but not closing it, so he could hear every single movement she made.
“You are fucking evil!” Y/N screamed after him with a groan.
“Yeah?” he yelled from the kitchen. “Just wait until you get your fucking soup!”
However, midway through making it, Tommy had to turn the flame off and rush back up to their room as the tightness in his pants had grown to an uncomfortable level, throwing the covers off her wife’s body, raising the slip she had on and then eating her out like a starved man.
Her broken moans were a new symphony for him, something he’d never heard before, but would raise hell and tear down heaven for them to never end. It was blissfully quick, how fast they came, despite him trying to drag every second out; both of them had been so wired up, five minutes was enough to have stars dance behind their lids.
As Y/N panted, one hand thrown over her eyes, Tommy placed sweet kisses to the insides of her thighs, and then swiftly but tenderly cleaned her up with a warm cloth as well as changed out of his now stained underwear and trousers.
“What was that?” she asked. “First you tell me off while I’m standing, mind you, by the stove for getting out of bed, but then you push your tongue as far as it can go in my cunt? What happened to no strenuous activities until the doctor says so?”
A smirk was now etched on his still cum covered face, as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, blowing a stream of white smoke in the air. “For one, I just simply couldn’t wait any longer to do that.” He sat down on the bed next to her and raised her leg to rest on his shoulder so he could kiss her calf. “And two, I’ve decided on a new rule, since you’re so eager to disobey – you do something you’re not supposed to – I eat you out. You follow the rules – I eat you out, but twice as long.”
Y/N snorted, eyeing him up and down. “Seems like a win-win to me.”
“Ah, but here’s the kicker.” Tommy took one last drag of the cigarette and extinguished it in the tray on the bedside table. “You disobey, I get to eat that pussy for as long as I want, but you are not allowed to cum. Got it?”
His wife scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You are one cruel man Thomas Shelby. But if you want me to listen to you, you better get that soup here as quick as you can. Otherwise, I might do something that’ll get me punished.”
Tommy’s eyes glinted like the devil’s. “Seems like a win-win to me.”
In the present though, he was a tornado in the room, trying to find any clue as to who had been the one to execute this plan. There was a lot of blood, but he hoped that not all of it was Y/N`s, otherwise he feared, by the time he came for her, she might`ve died from the loss of it.
Right as he tossed over the mattress, he saw something glinting on the carpet. Leaning down he picked up a golden circle and twisted the ring around. It wasn`t one his, nor was it Y/N`s wedding ring, that being the only piece of golden jewellery she`d ever wear as she preferred silver.
“Well, you gave me a silver fucking engagement ring,” she`d scoffed at him one time while the two were laying naked in bed. “And I can`t take that off, so I have to match everything else to it. `S your fault.”
“Yes, of course.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Everything is my fault.”
“Well, this is.” She extended her left hand up and wiggled her fingers, the single diamond in the centre of it glinting in the soft candlelight. Slowly, he`d dragged his palm up the inside of her arm before entwining his hold with hers, bringing their linked hands down for him to kiss.
“Do you regret it, though?” His voice had been low, words whispered in the skin of her shoulder where a light star-shaped scar was the only reminder of the day he realized he was in love, as he rested his head against her chest. “Marrying me. Do you regret it sometimes?”
Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “I regret a lot of things, some of which were always out of my control, yet I still can’t help but wish I could’ve done something to prevent them. But no. I don`t think so. At least there hasn`t been a moment up until now which would make me feel this way.”
“Really?” The word was laced with so much hidden fear, for a moment Y/N didn`t recognize the Tommy she`d grown to know and love.
Gently she cupped his cheek and pulled him closer so she could plant a delicate kiss on his lips. “Really. I love you. As you said in the hospital – you weaselled your way into my heart, and now I cannot imagine my life without you. Also, if you’re worried about that little thing,” she motioned with her head to her shoulder. “It just gives me plenty of blackmail against you because I know you feel guilty, so I can ask anything from you.”
Tommy’s deadpan face was good, but it couldn’t cover the smile Y/N knew was hiding underneath. “You might not regret this, but I am starting to.”
She just chuckled. “No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.” And then he kissed her breathless.
So now, as he twirled the ring between his fingers, he hoped it would lead him to his wife, but for forty-eight hours it had brought no fruits. It had no insignias or sigils, no carvings or any distinguishing marks he could use to discover who’d ordered the kidnapping.
He had his men trail every possible enemy but to no avail, and it filled him with such rage he was ready to tear down England if he had to, staring with Birmingham itself and ending with the King’s castle.
“Tommy,” John started as he walked inside his brother’s office where he had been cooped up for the last half-day only to be met by a flying glass of whiskey, and he barely got out of the way before it smashed against the mahogany doors. “The fuck is wrong with you?” John screamed.
“The fuck is wrong with me?” Tommy sneered. “Let me think – my wife is missing, someone could be torturing her, while I’m stuck in the fucking betting shop looking over numbers I couldn’t care less about! That’s what’s fucking wrong! And people,” he pointed at John. “Keep fucking interrupting me without jackshit of worth to say so unless you have some-”
“We found her!” John matched his tone interrupting his brother mid-rant.
Tommy`s world stopped at those words, and his own answer was a whisper, almost not believing what his brother was saying. “You found her?”
“Yes.” John nodded. “So do you want to keep looking over the books or -,” but John didn`t get a chance to finish as Tommy had stood up and was rushing out the door before him.
“How’d you know it’s her?” he asked, quickly slipping in the car as Arthur pressed down on the gas.
John snorted. “Talked to some old lady who complained about hearing some woman ‘swearing up and down a storm’ a couple of nights ago. Said she’d never heard such crude words come out of a woman’s mouth, and that she was more a sailor than a proper girl.”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, sounds like her.”
Arthur cut the Bentley’s lights as they arrived near the warehouse, and so did the caravan of cars behind them, before stopping and quietly exiting.
It was swift after that, as everyone assumed their positions, some of the Blinders climbing up on the roof to lay fire from up above while Tommy and the rest snuck inside the place.
There were no guards or lookouts, which meant whoever was in charge of the operation was incredibly stupid, but for a moment he thought they were at the wrong place, as everything was dead silent until he heard a far-off echo of a familiar scoff.
As he trailed after the sound, his wife’s voice became clearer and clearer as did a deep man’s one, his New York accent pushing through every syllable.
Tommy hadn’t even thought it could be an American, he hadn’t had any dealings with the overseas people yet, the only person he knew who he had a clear connection to was…
And that’s when it hit him. Only one person would hold such a personal grudge against him. After all, when all the lies had come to light, he’d banished her from the town and threatened to put a bullet between her eyes himself if she did come back. He just never thought Grace would find some lapdog to come and have him get her revenger for her.
When he rounded the corner, Tommy finally, after two excruciating days, laid eyes on Y/N.
She was bloodied, beaten, face swollen and almost unrecognizable, had it not been for the wrathful look in her Y/E/C eyes, Tommy wouldn’t know the woman sitting in the chair. He wasn`t going to lie – he definitely got hard at the way his wife was glaring at her captor, murderous intent in that blood-shot gaze while he circled her like a bee around a hive.
“He`ll come for you,” she said, voice steady and sure.
The man snorted and leaned down to face her, tilting his head to the side, his tone as if he was explaining simple math to a child. “That`s what I’m counting on.”
“Then you`re even more fucking stupid than I thought.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head.
Had she not looked half-dead, Tommy would`ve been proud of her standing up for them, but in this case, it made him sigh and grit his teeth, as even while being tied to a chair in just her slip, the fabric half-ripped and slashed, and he was very sure she probably had broken ribs as well - even in a moment like this, she just couldn`t keep her tongue behind her teeth. And then her eyes snapped at where he was hiding behind the corner and she winked.
Of fucking course Y/N knew he was here. She was probably riling the man up because she knew Tommy was just right around the corner. She was gonna give him a heart attack one day. Tommy used to think he`d die at the barrel of a gun, but nope, it was going to be his wife and her seeming need to piss off every other gangster around them no matter what the situation was.
“Yeah, the only thing I care about is him watching the life in your eyes die, but maybe while we wait…” The man turned towards Y/N and slowly started to unbutton his trousers. “We could have some fun? I`m sure Tommy won`t mind I use his whore for a bit. Has he stuck his prick in all your holes? Should probably experience some real pleasure before I put a gun between those lips and blow your brains out.”
Tommy`s blood was cold in his veins, his vision now completely tunnelled in on the two bodies barely fifty feet away. Grace would suffer more than she ever had.
With barely contained rage, he watched the scene unfold, his hands shaking, just itching to take the gun and bust the guy`s kneecaps, but John hadn`t given him the sign he was in position. Y/N cocked her head and eyed her captor up and down with a withering gaze.
“Yeah, hard pass.” She crossed her legs, invertedly making the slip rise up her thighs, but the message was clear. “Besides, whatever you have hanging between those cheeks, could never compare to Tommy.”
The man chuckled, unbuttoning the last of the buttons. “You`ve got a mouth on ya, don`t you? Don`t worry.” He put a hand on the back of Y/N`s head. “We`ll put it to good use for at least once in your sad life.”
Tommy averted his gaze from the scene as something shiny caught his eyes as John flashed his watch, and Tommy nodded he`d seen it. He looked at Y/N. She was staring right back at him. She nodded as well.
Right as the man was about to pull down his underwear, all hell broke loose, starting with his wife, who sprung up from her seat with the rope that’d been tied around her hands sawed in half more towards her left wrist, as she kicked the guy in the nuts and twisted the rope around his neck.
Every Blinder that’d entered along with Tommy and his brothers, burst from behind crates and corners, guns levelled at the single man kneeling before his wife, as he choked for a breath.
She was in such a trance, she didn’t hear nor notice Tommy step behind her and whip his coat off and around her, but he didn`t expect Y/N to try and fight him as she kicked and swatted at him, letting the man fall to the ground gasping which prompted John to kick him in the back of the head, knocking him out.
“It`s me!” he yelled at his wife, while his brothers with the help of some other Blinders dragged the unconscious body out to be dealt with later. “Fucking quit it, will you?! It`s me!”
“Tommy?” Y/N stopped struggling and looked at him while he covered her shoulders with the coat.
“Yes, fucking Tommy, so will you stop trying to scratch my eyes out?”
“Well, what do you expect me to do?” She waved her hand around. “I`ve been held captive for like two days and suddenly a bag is being pulled over my head!”
“It`s not a bag!” Tommy held on the lapels of the piece of clothing. “Just put on the damned coat.”
With a huff she grabbed at the front of it like she’d done so many times to Tommy to pull him down for a kiss, carefully sliding one arm in before Tommy took hold of the back of it and helped Y/N put the other one in as well. He could see her wincing in pain, and was pretty sure her ribs were at least bruised if not cracked or broken, so he mentally checked off a list as to what he had to do to Grace when he tracked her down.
“Did you bring me any shoes?” Y/N dug around his coat’s pockets and found the leather gloves he preferred, slipping them on her smaller hands.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “I was more preoccupied with trying to find and save you, than choosing which of your fashion accessories to bring along when I did.”
Y/N pointed an accusatory finger at him. “If I catch a cold because of you, you will be the one taking care of me, not Ada or Polly. And I`m a horrible patient… Fashion accessories my ass.” She grumbled out the last bit as she buttoned his coat over her body.
“Yes, I know.” Tommy wrapped his hand around her waist mindful of her injuries. “I had to take care of you after you got shot, remember? A bloody nightmare you were.”
But he didn`t let her reply with whatever kind of witty remark was already on her tongue as he pressed his lips against hers. He hadn`t been able to kiss her for two days, so he put all of the ferocious love he had for her in his heart into that kiss.
She hummed into the feeling of his lips on hers, hands weaving in his hair despite her body screaming at her, scratching at the nape of his neck before letting out a small hiss, her busted mouth being a pain, but Tommy’s tongue quickly rushed out to soothe the pain.
“Tommy?” Y/N whispered after she pulled away for a breath.
“Yeah, love?” His hands cupped her cheeks while she looked up at him with blown pupils.
“You`ll always catch me, right?”
His brows furrowed at her question. “Of course, I will.” He muttered, pecking her mouth. “Always.”
“Good, good…” She nodded before rapidly blinking a few times. “Cause I`m about to pass out.” And then she promptly did. Her legs gave out underneath her, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
“Shit!” Tommy exclaimed as his hands went under her arms, before hoisting her up in his hold bridal style almost at the last second.
Tommy sighed, looking down at her. She was now covered in his large coat, while he placed his peaky cap over her ears for warmth. “What am I going to do with you?” he mumbled more to himself than her, but Y/N nevertheless hummed in response slowly coming to, but Tommy didn`t dare put her on the ground. He`d carry her through fire if needed.
“Love me,” she mumbled.
A smile came on his face. “Already do.”
“Feed me,” she continued, and Tommy snorted.
“Will never be able to fill that void in your stomach.”
Y/N sighed and opened up her eyes to look at him. “And never leave me.”
Tommy shook his head. “Wouldn`t ever even dream of doing such a thing, but Y/N, I think I know who did this.”
She hummed nodding her head and snuggling closer to his chest. “I think I do too. That ex of yours – Grace.”
“How’d you figure it out? Was she here?” Tommy’s blood was boiling just at the thought of the blonde snitch being anywhere near Y/N, let alone harming her. “I swear if she did anything to you, she’ll be wishing for death.”
By that point, he’d exited the warehouse and was gently placing Y/N in the back seat of the car, laying her head in his lap, as disorientated Y/E/C eyes stared at him. She shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard to figure it out. Between the American accent and how he tried to be clever and slip in conversation that “I could never be as graceful of a woman as I should”, it took me like a minute. Also, when I ripped off a ring from a chain he had around his neck, and he realized it, he went mental and started screaming he was going to propose to her with it.” Y/N winced as she shrugged. “This was apparently supposed to be some demented engagement gift.”
“I’ll kill them,” Tommy whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll find Grace and make her watch as I kill the guy first, and then I’ll kill her. Or you can if you want.”
Neither had noticed that the car was already moving and Arrow House had come in view, let alone that it had stopped, and Tommy’s brothers had exited to give them a little bit of privacy, already knowing Polly and Ada were in the house, and fussing would start when they’d see the state Y/N was in.
After her getting shot, the matriarch of the Shelby clan had slowly started to become more friendly to Y/N. During their tea evenings, they were cordial but mostly had small talk. But afterwards, they talked about everything and anything, and Polly even sometimes re-laid Y/N’s ideas during family meetings when she was off doing her own thing at the printing press or her office of the publishing house Tommy had helped her establish to specifically take on female writers.
“Funnily enough, I don’t want either of them dead,” Y/N said, cupping Tommy’s cheek and rubbing her thumb along his sharp jawline. “But I want them to suffer for an eternity. So leave them alive.”
He couldn’t understand her train of thought. “Why?”
“Because they failed, Tommy,” Y/N explained.
“They might try again.”
“And they’ll fail again if they do.” She pulled him down by his shirt and gave him a quick kiss. “I know you want to hurt them because they hurt you, but -,”
“No, I want to hurt them, because they hurt you,” Tommy interrupted her. “In fact, I want them to bleed dry… but… if the Mrs. says I can’t…” He let out a sigh as if the next words were physically painful for him to say. “Then I won’t.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, slowly staring to sit up, Tommy’s steady hand on her back to help however he could. “I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying you shouldn’t because now for the rest of their miserable lives they will live with the knowledge that we’re together, and we’re happy. We’ll be on their minds twenty-four seven without a break. We don’t need to hurt them to ruin their lives.”
Tommy’s eyebrows were furrowed, as he pushed a dirty strand of hair behind her ear. Despite her state, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d laid his eyes on and had had the privileged to lay with. “When did you become such an expert in revenge?”
“When she tried to take me away from my family.”
He’d never been more grateful for Grace breaking his heart than in that moment, otherwise, he wouldn’t have met the love of his life.
And a few weeks down when Y/N was healed, just some small aches in her body a reminder of what had happened, and they’d seen Grace through the windows of the Garrison, he couldn’t help but smile at the woman, while his wife shot her a devious wink before emptying her gin and tonic and pressing her lips against his in a kiss. When they pulled away and looked at her, Grace’s mouth was open in shock, eyes brimming with tears as her jaw clenched.
Yeah, his wife was right - this kind of revenge was truly the best as he got to watch Grace’s world crumble while his only grew, a gentle hand placed on his wife’s stomach. Not that either of them knew yet.
Synopsis: They’ve been friends ever since before the war. He’d do anything for her despite the ups and downs they’ve gone through, so when he finds her sobbing in his office he is ready to pull the world apart.
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader
Genre:angst/fluff
Warnings: swearing, some implied sexy times, mentions of war and death, suicide (implied, nothing explicit) but please do let me know if anything needs to be added.
Wordcount: 5373
Tommy wasn’t good with tears. He wasn’t good with the emotional pain of others; he didn’t really know how to console them or soothe the heartache in their chests. He wasn’t good with love either, at least in his own opinion. He never really knew how to express it, or show it in a way that it registered his loved ones knew he meant it. So, when he found Y/N sitting in his office on the settee absolutely bawling her eyes out, a fire blazing in the hearth, the Christmas tree decorated to the nines by the previously mentioned woman, he froze in the doorway, looking at her, the sleeve of the red and green festive dress used as a napkin to wipe away the biggest tears.
A million thoughts ran through his mind – she was hurt, someone had done something they’d lose their fingers and tongue for, especially during `the most wonderful time of the year`. Or maybe she’d accidentally hurt herself – if there was a characteristic that described his best friend since childhood, it was an absolute lack of coordination. It’s how they`d actually met.
He was about ten years old when he and his brothers had snuck out of the house to not do the chores Aunt Polly had set for them and ran off towards a field to kick around the ball, or just do nothing when he saw a small figure sitting by the dip in the ground where a lake was.
Her camel-colored coat covered shoulders were shaking while her face was hidden by her pulled up knees, and even from so far away he could see red staining what were once white knee-high socks, now covered in mud and blood, soaking ice skates right next to her while a hole had been cracked at the edge of the lake. Even so young he understood how lucky she’d been that she hadn’t ventured further in the water.
“Are you okay?” Tommy asked as he gave his brothers a look.
The question startled the girl and made her jump up, lip wobbling as she winced in pain. She was smaller than him, but around the same age, a knitted blue hat sliding down her forehead which she pushed back up in annoyance.
“`M fine.” She grumbled. “Who`re you?” A small sniffle escaped her as she wiped at her nose.
“`M Tommy.” He said and then pointed at an older boy and the younger one. “They’re my brothers Arthur and John.”
She eyed them warily, but nevertheless gave them a small wave; her mother would be appalled by her manners, but she was upset and didn’t care.
“We - we can take you home,” Tommy looked down at her knees and motioned to his brothers not really knowing what else to do in such a situation. Whenever Ada cried, he called for Aunt Polly, but there was no Aunt Polly here, yet she just shook her head, stepping forward and grabbing onto his arm.
“No. No, I can’t go home. My Mum will kill me. She told me not to come to the lake, and I’m wearing my good socks too, so if she`ll see them dirty, she`ll double kill me.”
A smile pulled on Tommy`s lips. “How can you double-kill someone?”
The girl just shrugged, pouting at his teasing. “I don`t know, but she can. She’s my Mum, she`ll find a way.”
“Okay,” he let out a small chuckle. “Well, we can take you to our Aunt maybe? She’ll help. And I promise she won’t say a word to your Mum.”
The girl squinted at him before extending her pinkie finger towards him, face now all serious as if this was an important business transaction and they were signing a contract. “You promise?”
He didn’t hesitate to link his own. “Promise. What`s your name?”
“Y/N.”
And that’s how their friendship had started. They grew up together, Y/N becoming quick friends with the Shelbys and especially Ada, seeing as Y/N was an only child, it was great to have another girl to talk to, but even so, she was always closest to Tommy. They shared secrets and dreams, and their bond grew from something fragile into the most stable thing in their lives. All that came crashing down when a single letter had been sent to Tommy`s house.
When she`d entered their house the next day and seen the white envelope, Y/N hadn’t needed to open it, to know what it said. Her father had gotten the exact same one a couple of days before.
Tommy knew she’d seen it, there was a different air about her while they talked and drank their whiskey-spiked tea, something electric and charged had formed between the two, but as she left his room with a chaste kiss to his cheek, eyes cast on the ground, he thought she understood it, understood why they had to go and fight, yet for the last two weeks before being shipped off, Y/N completely cut off all contact with him.
In his mind, he tried to justify it by saying to himself she had to spend as much time as possible with her father, it could be the last time she’d ever see him, but those days could also be the last time they would see one another, and his heart broke little by little with every moment she didn`t go see him.
When that horrible day he’d gone off to the station came, he’d expected for Y/N to come and say goodbye but as he stood on the platform, neck stretching over the sea of swirling people, only Aunt Polly and Ada were there to send him and his brothers off. He’d never cried in front of them, but as his heart shattered realizing Y/N was not going to arrive, he couldn’t contain the emotions.
“I`m sorry Tommy,” Ada pulled him in for one last hug, wiping his cheeks. “I went to her flat and begged her to come, told her you had something important to say, but no one answered.”
Tommy shook his head taking in a stuttering breath. “She – she probably already has to say goodbye to her dad, and her Mum didn’t take the news too well when the letter came in the first place. She’s probably with her.” Even with his love broken and in pieces on the ground by his feet, he still tried to give her an excuse, give a reason why she wouldn’t want to come.
Ada just gave him a sad smile, as the train let out a shrill whistle, making it known – this was the last goodbye. He stepped inside it, not looking back.
He’d never admitted it to anyone, not even his brothers knew, but when the train had started moving, Tommy had found the quietest and darkest possible place and just cried. He knew other men were crying too, heard their sniffling and whimpering as they left their lives and families behind, but he didn’t want to confide in people, didn’t want to be consoled. This was his pain, and his pain alone.
Four years. Four horrible and gruesome years passed before he was able to step on that same platform again, and much like when he`d left, the only people there to await him were his Aunt Polly and Ada, but his heart still ached for someone else.
“Is – is she still in town?” Tommy asked as they walked down the streets of Small Heath, feeling like a schoolboy with a crush as he asked that, not a man who`d returned from war having witnessed the most horrible things the world had to offer.
“She is.” Ada nodded. “Still lives in that tiny apartment. Her dad – he died during the first year of the war, and her Mum couldn’t take it. Joined him two months later.” She gave him a down-cast look.
Tommy didn’t need Ada to elaborate, understanding the underlying meaning behind her words. He`d heard about Mr Y/L/N death while in the trenches, he`d even written to Y/N, but never received any sort of a response or an acknowledgement she`d gotten his words of condolence, so as he broke off from his family and stepped up to the third floor of the dingy house where he knew the Y/L/Ns used to live, still dressed in his clothes from the ride, still with a bag of the minuscule number of things he had over his shoulder, his mind kept reeling, but it was already too late to back away as his hand had knocked against her door without his consent.
The sound of quick feet padding against the floor echoed around him, and it wasn’t too long before the door opened, it’s hinges creaking, and he finally laid his eyes on the woman who’d broken him all those years ago.
“Thomas,” Y/N whispered out, surprise lacing her features. She looked so much like the last time he’d seen her, yet she was different. A sadness swirled around her now, darkening her shadows and dulling her once bright Y/E/C eyes. He hated it. “I didn’t know you were back in Small Heath.”
“I – I was waiting for you.” He said the first thing that came to his mind, voice low, pushing away the pain that came with when Y/N called him his full name. She only did that when she was angry with him. He was always her Tommy. Yes, others called him that as well, but he was her Tommy. “I thought you`d at least come and say goodbye.” He murmured.
Y/N let out a sigh and shook her head, averting her gaze and crossing her arms. “If you`ve come here to drag up old shit, you can just leave.”
“What?” Tommy looked at her incredulously, his frame straightening up, back steeling at her hurtful words. “You think I wanted to go?”
She let out a sarcastic snort. “Well, you weren’t too eager to stay.”
“Well, you didn’t show up at all!” Tommy raised his voice, and instantly regretted it, as he saw a wall come up behind her gaze, Y/N taking a step back and bracing herself against the verbal blow.
“As I said.” Her voice was calm and emotionless. “You are more than welcome to leave if you have come here to berate me after all these years.”
“I – that’s not why I came here.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I came here to – I – Please.” He begged. She was the only person he’d ever plead for, but he didn’t know what he was begging for. For Y/N to let him in? To hug him? To give him a chance to come back in her life? “Please, I just need to know why?”
“I couldn`t,” she hissed, tears spilling past her eyes, finally showing some sort of sign his return was impacting her. “You wanted me to do what? Cheer you on as you stepped on that train? Wanted me to hug and kiss you before you went off? That would never have happened.” Those last words were spat with as much venom as possible.
“I thought we had something. I thought we meant something to one another.” Maybe he`d been wrong. Maybe the lingering gazes they`d shared meant something completely different to her, but when she said `we did` his heart broke even more. “So why didn’t you come?”
“I couldn’t stand on that platform and send you off to die!” Y/N exploded, four years of pent-up emotions rolling off her tongue in a stream. “Because know this, Tommy.” She pointed a finger at him. “I would`ve done everything to stop that train from leaving, even jumped in front of it, if I had to. I already had to watch my father leave. I wouldn’t have survived if I’d had to watch you do the same.”
He saw her shoulders drop, as if an invisible weight had finally come off of them, her chest stuttering as she took in a breath and finally looked him in the eye. “How could you have possibly expected me to go there and be alright with what was happening? To let my best friend go without lifting so much as a finger to prevent it.”
“It was the war. I couldn`t not go.”
“And had I gone there, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go.” Y/N let out an unamused laugh. “I know you`re tough, and can handle yourself, but how in the world were you expecting me to give you my blessing to go off and greet death like that? To not even die in your country but somewhere in the ditches in France? I couldn`t, so I didn`t.”
Tommy`s throat closed up, as he took a step closer. “You could`ve at least written to me, explained it, but you didn’t even do that.”
“I did write.” She whispered her defense, Y/E/C eyes shooting between his ice blue ones, a certain fear in them he couldn’t crack. “I just never sent them.”
“Why?” That was the question that`d been running through his mind for all those years, and a boulder had been lifted from his heart as he finally got the answers he so desperately had needed.
They were whispering now, as if raising their voices would somehow be inappropriate in that situation.
“Because I thought you hated me after I didn’t come to see you off. And I couldn’t bear to receive a response where you told me to stop writing, so I just kept them, thinking that maybe one day when I was old and you were old, I’d send them to you… or lay them at your grave, that way I had less of a chance of receiving a response.”
With that she ventured off into the small one-bedroom apartment, not even inviting Tommy in, already knowing he’d take the hint to enter as his boots thudded against the floor but not before closing the door to not let the cold air in. The apartment was freezing enough.
When she returned from her bedroom, in her hands was a thick wad of papers tied with a ribbon.
“Here.” She sniffled and cleaned her nose with the sleeve of her dress as she handed them to Tommy. “I don`t know if you still want them, really I don’t know why you’d want them, but uh – here.”
Carefully, as if it was the most precious diamond in the world, Tommy took them out of her hands, and as their fingers brushed against one another`s, it was like the dam that`d been raised between them shattered, and he took her by the wrist, pulling her body in his, their frames curing around one another like fire around a long.
“I could never hate you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, as Y/N buried her face in his chest, her grip on his waist tightening, as if she was afraid this was the goodbye they hadn’t had before the war. “You`re my girl, how in the world could I ever hate you?”
Tommy really couldn’t hate her, despite her being the one girl who`d truly and utterly broken his heart at one point, she`d also been the one to pick it back up and piece it together, as they mended one another not even a single scar on it, so when he kept looking at her sobbing form in the present, three years down the line they’d come back to one another, she was breaking it all over again.
“Who did this to you?” His voice was a deadly whisper as he stepped in his office, kneeling before her trying to pry her hands away from her face, thoughts of bloodshed already on his mind, as he placed his hand on Y/N`s thigh. She’d hate him if he went out on Christmas Eve on a rampage, but nobody dared to make her cry and get away unscathed. “Who hurt you?”
But Y/N was inconsolable, as she shook her head and fell forward, wrapping her arms around Tommy’s shoulders to bury her face in his neck.
For just a moment, he froze, mind short-circuiting as to what to do now, before his arms raised on their own accord, sliding under Y/N`s legs so he could pick her up and place himself on the lounge chair, her body now curled up in his.
He tried to ask what had happened and who`d done it, but she couldn’t speak properly, so he just held her, pressing kisses to her forehead, and holding onto her frame, as if his touch alone could keep her from falling apart.
“She killed him.” Y/N sniffled after a good ten minutes of crying, cheek against Tommy`s chest where his heart stopped for a moment.
It wasn’t like she didn’t know what he did for a living; she was well aware of the invisible amounts of blood on his hands, but the thought of his sweet, kind-hearted girl having to see death up-close like that made him rage full.
He never talked about his business dealings, nor what was going to happen in regards to settling things between him and his associates. If a `catch-up` with another gang was planned, he’d always make sure Y/N was safe and off the streets before anything went down. He never went to her injured or with a single speck of blood on him. She worried enough, and he didn’t dare add any more stress on her, especially knowing he’d be the cause of it.
She didn’t know it, but every time he thought he’d die, whether it was in the ditches in France or during a skirmish with some gangster, he’d think of her. If he had to go, the only person he`d lay his life for would be the girl with the bloodied knees he`d met by the lake.
“Who killed who, Y/N?” His palm ever so gently lifted her face up to him. It always surprised Tommy himself how gentle he could be, but it shouldn’t, at least not when it came to her. “I need a name. Who killed who?”
“Ma-Mary.” She swallowed harshly. “She killed Jack.”
Tommy`s brow furrowed. He didn`t know a Mary or a Jack that Y/N had in her life, let alone whose death would impact her so much. He made sure to be all up in her business (without her own knowledge, of course, otherwise she`d chew him a new hole to shit out of, if she found out), but it was at the top of his list to know who hung around Y/N. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her because he hadn’t done his research on a new person who’d entered her life.
And that’s when she pulled out a book from where it`d been pushed in the corner of the settee slapping it onto her knees.
“You – you’re – what?” For the first time in Tommy`s life he was absolutely speechless.
“She killed him off!” Y/N wailed again, throwing the book on the ground, the leather-bound pages landing with a loud thud. “She took a dagger and pushed it into his heart, which effectively pushed it into mine! I need you to find her.” A fire lit in Y/N`s eyes as she looked at Tommy, tears still slipping down her cheeks, which he brushed away with the pads of his thumbs. “I need you to find her and make her bring him back. I can’t go on like this. My heart just – it won’t hold!”
“You were crying because of a book?” Tommy finally managed to get out before running a hand through the hair at the top of his head. “Jesus fucking Christ Y/N, I thought something horrible had happened to you!”
“Something terrible has happened!” She countered, standing up from his lap. “That – that – bitch killed off my favorite character! And she had the nerve to kill the dog off too right on the next page! I need you to do something about it, Tommy.”
“I – I will,” Tommy said, biting down on his fist as he suppressed the laughter rising in his chest, as he watched her throw back her head in a groan. “Of course, I will. Anything my girl wants. I`ll have Arthur start tracking her down right now.”
Y/N nodded, having started to pace. “Good, good. But he needs to stay there and make sure she writes Jack back to life. I don’t trust her on her own. Look what happened last time!”
A smile had stretched across his lips now, and Tommy wasn’t even hiding it anymore as he rested his cheek on his fist, winter blue eye watching as she bit on her thumb.
“Sweetheart…” The word was laced with amusement, but she was quick to interrupt him.
“Don`t tell me I`m overreacting. I`ve lived with those characters for six years. Six books! I`ve dedicated hours to them, and then she just has the audacity to do something like that!”
Tommy`s heart swelled in his chest at that. She’d gone through so much heartbreak, even more than he had, he thought at times, yet Y/N so willingly and openly allowed herself to love and fall in love – fictional people or not, she gave them her all.
“I won`t.” Tommy shook his head, reaching out for her hand, which she easily slipped hers into. “It’s okay to feel betrayed after, as you said, six years of dedicating yourself to them. But maybe that’s what had to happen. Jack had served his purpose to the story, and he had to go.”
Y/N let out an offended gasp, pulling her hand away from his and pressing it to her chest, as if Tommy had been the one to stab it just like the author had done to Jack. “No he did not!” She stomped her foot. “How is Rose supposed to get her happily ever after now?”
He just tilted his head and looked at her, as a comfortable silence settled between the two while Y/N went over to pick up the offensive book from the ground before going back to Tommy.
“Adam said it`s stupid.” She huffed as she plopped next to him, fingers scratching at the leathery spine of it. “Said it`s absolutely idiotic I get attached to characters like that.”
Adam had been courting Y/N for a while, and it grated on Tommy`s nerves to no end. He understood that at one point she’d probably find someone, get married and start a life with them, hell, after he’d come back from the war, he was half-expecting she’d already have a bunch of kids and lived somewhere far away where he’d never be able to reach her, but when that hadn’t happened, he’d hoped that something would blossom between the two. His feelings definitely had, they`d already been there before he got shipped off, he just couldn’t get a proper read on Y/N and what went on in her head. Despite them reconnecting and their friendship being stronger than ever, she no longer told him about her crushes or what she hoped for the future, and it killed Tommy because he hated not knowing things especially when it came to the people most important to him in his life.
“Well, Adam is wrong.” Tommy cleared his throat, as he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into the warmth of his body. “I think it’s endearing because if you can love someone who doesn’t exist that much, the real people in your life who you care for should feel absolutely blessed.”
A gentle smile appeared on Y/N`s face as she pushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. “And people say you don’t have a heart.”
Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. “I don`t. And given how it’s been yours since that day by the lake, I really hope to never get it back. Don’t know a safer place where it could be kept.”
Y/N let out a snort cupping his cheek. “And what happens when some girl will want to have it? How`ll you marry her if it`s with me?
“What? You’re saying you won’t marry me?” he said it in a joking tone, but underneath it hid actual fear and concern. Everything he did, he did for her, to make her life easier, better, with less worries or concerns. He tried to keep her as safe as possible, and despite her having a blazing target on her back because of her association with the Shelbys, nobody had yet dared to even harm a hair on her head, because everyone knew – she was Tommy`s girl, and there`d be hell to pay if something happened to her.
Y/N scoffed at him. “If that’s your version of a proposal, it’s a definite no. I hope when you do it for real it`ll be a lot more heartfelt. At least get on one knee before the girl.”
Tommy seemed to mull over her words before giving her a small nod. And then Y/N`s eyes widened while he slipped down onto the floor, kneeling on both knees before her, holding onto her hands as if his life depended on it.
“Like I said.” His heart was a freight train in his chest as he pressed a kiss to her palm. “My heart is yours. Always has been. And I want it to stay that way for as long as we’re both alive.”
“Tommy,” she breathed out, but he shook his head.
“Please let me say this. I`ve been carrying it around for so long, now that I`ve started, I can’t leave it unsaid.”
Y/N nodded mutely, as he took in a breath and continued. “It`s not stupid the way you fall for characters. You feel more for them than some people feel for their fellow peers. It`s admirable. It`s brave to love something like that so much. And you’ve taught me how to be brave as well. How to not shut everyone out. It’d be so easy to stay on my own, to not have to worry, but you`ve shown that the easy way out isn’t the best one. And I don’t want anything easy when it comes to you. I want all of it. Everything. The good, the bad, the ugly and beautiful, all of the tears,” he whispered and wiped away the new trails on her cheeks. “I want you.”
And then he pulled out a ring from his pocket, to add the cherry on top of it all.
A brutal sob ripped through Y/N`s chest as she pressed a palm to her mouth. “How long have you been carrying that around?”
“Since before the war,” his tone matched the shaky one of Y/N`s. “Took it with me to the station, was gonna ask you then, beg you to wear it and wait for me to come home. To become my home to come back to.”
“I`m sorry,” she whimpered through a choke and Tommy swore he couldn’t breathe, all the air punched out of his chest, as Y/N shook her head. “I`m so sorry I didn`t come that day. I should`ve.”
Relief flooded his veins in an instant as he took hold of Y/N`s wrist and pulled himself up, wrapping her in his arms, his mind having gone to the immediate worst option of her rejecting him instead of her regretting not seeing him that day. “Don`t be. Had I done it, it wouldn’t have been fair for you to wait for something that possibly wouldn’t have happened. But it can now… if you say yes.”
He wondered if it was possible to become more alive than he already was as Y/N whispered an “oh, Tommy” and then kissed him with everything she had in her, matching the power of his own reciprocated action.
This time he wasn’t gentle with her, his arms going around her waist, fingers digging in her hips for sure to leave blooming marks the next day, but neither of them cared, as Y/N tugged on his hair and raked her nails down his back. They`d waited for that moment for so long, they wanted to leave some sort of evidence behind on the other; it had actually happened and hadn’t been one of their dreams.
“We`ve kind of done it backwards though,” she breathed against his lips finally pulling back for some air after a good fifteen-minute make-out, her dress hiked around her waist, one of the garters snapped open with his strong grip kneading the inside of her thighs, while Tommy`s shirt was completely unbuttoned, the single one of his trousers undone as well, his leather shoes somewhere on the floor, chest to heaving chest, hips grinding against one another. “You`re supposed to ask me on a date, romance me and sweep me off my feet before proposing.”
“I don’t need to date you, to know you`re the one,” he mumbled before pecking her mouth, the other hand rubbing her waist as he sneakily untied the string that`d cinched it together. “Knew it when I found you crying by that lake, knew it when you kicked Polly in the shin as she cleaned the scrapes on your knees, knew it when you punched Lisa Jenkins from down the street when she was making fun of me after Ada gave me that horrible haircut when we were fifteen. I`ve always known it.”
“And what about me?” Y/N asked, toying with the lapels of his shirt, eyes tracing the tattoo on his chest before leaning forward to kiss it. “Maybe I need to date for a bit before marrying someone?”
That Tommy hadn’t thought of as he shrugged. “Then we can date for however long you want – a day, week, year, ten years if you need to. But you know where I stand. That whenever you’re ready I’m willing to drop before you any time of day.”
“Now that you’ve said that out loud, I don’t need any of that. Too long. Let’s get married.” Y/N nodded cupping his cheeks before pulling Tommy in a bruising kiss that left both of them gasping. “Right now. I think the courthouse is open until nine so we still have half an hour. I don’t want to wait any longer. We`ve done too much of that already.”
“Woah, no.” Tommy pulled back and shook his head. “First of all, Polly will have our heads if we do that, and Ada will help her.” Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes at that. “And despite the fact I`d be more than willing to marry you with paper rings, I wanna do it properly. Have you have your dream wedding.”
“My dream wedding would be with you by my side. `S all I need or want. Nothing else matters.”
Tommy pressed his forehead against hers and just reveled in the moment if only for a second. He got the girl. That’s all he`d ever wanted. For a long while he’d thought the last time, they’d seen one another, she`d left him on his own for good, never to return. But instead, she`d carried him in her heart all those years with the fear he would never come back to her.
“Tommy?” Her quiet voice brought him out from his thoughts, Y/E/C eyes staring up at him. “Take me to our bed?”
And how in the world was he supposed to refuse such a sweet request coming straight from the mouth of his would-be wife?
“You’re not.” A devilish smirk appeared on Y/N`s lips, as Tommy realized he’d said it out loud. “And you should do well to do as I say. Will make your life as a husband easier.”
Rough hands grabbed her now bared thighs her stockings rolled past her knees as he hoisted her up, her arms around his shoulders, fingers twining in his hair. There were small scars left on them from when she’d fallen on the ice. He loved those scars more than anything.
“Whatever you say, wife.”
Even while he took her upstairs, throughout the night and into the late morning he didn’t stop whispering `I love you` into her ears, skin, and against her mouth as they lost themselves in one another. How could he, when she so sweetly called him hers?
A/N: I have now seen Spiderman twice… Boy oh boy do I have ideas for fics, but in the meantime, Thomas Shelby has overtaken my life. No thoughts, head empty except for that fine ass man (I think I’ll start watching the show tomorrow)
Synopsis: They say Thomas Shelby has become soft because of her. And maybe he has, he just has no idea yet why. (Sort of an AU)
*Part 2(ish) - both can be read as stand-alones though Wrath (one-shot)
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader
Genre: fluff/ a bit of angst
Warnings:Swearing, spicy convos, but nothing explicit, blood, guns
Word count:4189
She heard it constantly around them.
“That girl has turned Thomas Shelby soft,” the voices whispered behind their backs whether at a charity event or simply strolling down the street. They never dared to do it while he was in earshot of them, but it didn’t make it any better, as rumours still liked to fly.
In Y/N’s mind, it was actually quite the opposite. Yes, Tommy was soft with her, but he’d also become more ruthless than ever. No one would ever dare even breathe the wrong way at Y/N, because if Tommy even had a whiff of something like that, their only company for the rest of their lives would be the fishes living at the bottom of a river.
Yet it hadn’t always been like that.
In the beginning, Y/N had simply been a woman coming up in society and in the need of someone with money, while Tommy had still been wallowing in self-pity after it had turned out Grace had been lying and betraying him the whole time while he shared a bed with her. So when Y/N had come to him with a proposition, he jumped on it, in need of showing that no one could ever wound Tommy Shelby so bad he couldn’t recover.
It was a marriage of mutual benefit – Y/N wanted to be a writer, but no publisher would accept her manuscript under a female name, and she adamantly refused to use a male pen-name, so while negotiating, Tommy agreed to sponsor her endeavours as a writer, agreed to help her publish her stories, if she after becoming Mrs Shelby would be the ever-great actress and help him rebuild his reputation. And it also didn’t hurt that despite her constant rejections of publishers, she still had connections in high places where she could easily slip him needed information so all his operations ran smoothly.
The wedding had been a grand affair, and very much so for the show of others than the emotional bond of the bride and groom. Had it been up to Tommy and Y/N, it would’ve been a quiet union just between the two of them, but they had to show they were powerful together and would remain so in everyone’s eyes.
Tommy’s family had been very wary about Y/N with good reason, but as they got to know her, and realized their relative was in it for just as selfish reasons as she was, yet Y/N had no problems with helping them out by passing on information from the coppers and such, they warmed up to her. Didn’t open up, but didn’t ice her out either.
The wedding passed by relatively fine and without a hitch, and as Tommy’s brothers whistled while they stepped in the car to go on their ‘honeymoon’, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at their antics.
But that night they hadn’t laid together. Tommy hadn’t pushed himself on her, rather poured both of them glasses – whiskey for him and gin and tonic with a slice of lime for her – and then they talked the whole night away. Meaningless turned into deep and thoughtful topics, through which Y/N realized Tommy was a lot more of a complex person than he let on, while he saw a spark of something wild hiding underneath the usually calm and collected surface. They spoke until the sun rose, and understood that they might not love one another, but when they’d entered their agreement, now sealed with the union, it had been done based on mutual respect.
Tommy did soon find out that that spark was something more, and wanted to book an appointment with a dentist as quickly as possible because good god if he wouldn’t stop grinding his teeth whenever Y/N did or said something in public as someone berated her or tried to ‘put her in her place’, he’d soon be eating nothing but porridge.
She didn’t know how to hold her words behind her teeth, she didn’t know how to back down from an argument or a fight, and always put her nose in “men’s business”, which surprisingly didn’t grate on Tommy as much as he thought it would, rather what came after – his “associates” always told him she had him by the balls, to control his wife and teach her how to respect men. It was eating away at him not only because his reputation was starting to hurt, and he’d married her for the opposite reason, but also because Y/N’s ideas often were sounder and would bring larger profit than that of the men who spoke.
And he shouldn’t have been that surprised that it would end up being her inability to shut up and the stubbornness that coursed through her veins, that’d get herself in the situation she was in at that moment.
Y/N would admit that, Tommy knew, but she would do it with a roll of her eyes and an annoyed huff, but he also knew some fault was on him. They’d been at a charity event, her body covered in a deep ruby red dress, matching the handkerchief in his suit’s pocket when one of Changretta’s men had approached him and started to deal passive-aggressive blows.
Throughout the ‘polite’ conversation, the grip on his wife’s waist started to tighten and tighten, and it wasn’t long before he snapped, dealing a verbal blow to the man, soon followed by Y/N’s venomous hiss, and that’s when the look in Changretta’s eyes shifted, a sickening feeling dropping in Tommy’s stomach as all the rage and anger went towards his wife.
It all happened too quickly, and Tommy hated for being so caught off guard, but in a matter of seconds, the Changretta’s man’s sleazy hands were in her hair and a gun was pressed to her side.
“You should teach your bitch how to stay in her place, but maybe she’ll let her loose tongue be put to good use and give me what I want, huh, sweetheart?” he sneered, and it made Y/N wince as his grip in her hair tightened, pulling at what once was a meticulously pinned up-do, the rancid breath of alcohol mixed with shrimp wafting over her nose. She hadn’t been too fond of Tommy’s lingering aroma of cigarettes and whiskey in the beginning, but now she associated the scent with comfort. With safety. With respect and someone who’d come to her aid as he had at that moment, his gun and his brothers’ trained towards the idiot who’d decided to use Y/N as bait for information of some hidden guns.
But as Y/N held her mouth shut for once in her life, much to Tommy’s dismay, he saw something shift in her Y/E/C eyes as they finally settled on him rather than looking at the ceiling with the most done expression ever.
He’d gotten used to those Y/E/C eyes. He’d gotten used to seeing them leaning over him while he had one of his nightmares, he’d gotten used to the anger that flashed whenever someone tried to diminish her whether because of her age, seeing as she was more than a decade younger than him, and people considered her naïve and foolish, or because of her gender as she broke every barrier that’d been set by the society. Those Y/E/C eyes had become a staple in his life, and much to his own shock, he yearned to see them every day.
“Fine,” the Changretta guy sneered, bringing Tommy out from his daze, and into the horrible reality of watching how he tightened the grip he had on his wife as he leaned closer to her ear. When she visibly shuddered in disgust, Tommy wanted to press the trigger and put a bullet in the man’s head but his wife’s head was way too close to risk it. “Any last words, princess?”
“Tommy.” Her voice was thick as she swallowed looking into his own ice blue eyes. “I know that sometimes what I do and say, especially without thinking grates on you, so I sincerely hope you don’t hate me after this because I’ve thought this through as much as possible.”
He didn’t even get a chance to ask what the fuck she was talking about when her heel covered foot came smashing down on the man’s, making him loosen his grip, as she swung her head back against his nose, the sickening sound of bone crunching behind her.
The grip on her hair was no longer there, and it allowed Y/N to twist underneath him before dealing a swift blow to his throat, and although Tommy was in awe of her, and in different circumstances, it would’ve been an admirable action as a punch like that would level any man, in this case, the Changretta’s man’s body seized up as he stumbled back, and his finger pulled the trigger.
*** When the gun went off, Tommy saw a flash of white, his breath got stuck in his throat and it took him a second to gather his bearings, when he saw Y/N flinch, and he swore his whole life flashed before his eyes.
When her scream of shock and pain echoed around him as her body hit the ground more from the force of the shot than anything, Tommy was ready to burn the world down starting with Changretta and everyone he loved.
His world broke as he rushed towards her, all the meticulously put together pieces of the puzzle shattered, as reality crashed in; his wife on the floor groaning and clutching her shoulder where blood had started to stain the floor and pool around her, the colour so close to that of her dress it almost seemed like an odd train she was laying on.
From the peripheral, he could see his brothers dragging the man away, and one look at John told him to leave him alive. He wanted to deal his own judgement. Y/N’s whimper snapped him back into the moment, and Tommy choked on his breath.
He’d seen blood, he’d been covered in it, practically bathed in invisible amounts of it every day, but this time it was different.
“You,-” His breath got stuck in his throat as he dropped to his knees, hands trembling as they hovered over her. His hands never trembled. “You’re okay,” he said, more so to himself not Y/N, but she just groaned.
“Of course, I’m not okay!” she hissed and stomped her foot on the ground as Tommy applied pressure to the wound, scarlet spilling between his fingers. “I just got fucking shot! How the fuck am I okay?!”
But he wasn’t listening, just kept muttering, “you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” as he shrugged off his jacket and tied the two sleeves around Y/N’s shoulder in a tight knot. She gasped at the pain as he lifted her up in his arms and levelled her forehead against his chest.
The whole way as he rushed to the parked Bentley he never took his eyes from her body to make sure she was alive, but Y/N made it very clear she was very much awake as explicit words flew from her mouth with every step he took.
Usually, he preferred not to go to the hospitals, too many people around to witness things and spread information, but he wasn’t going to risk it with Y/N, as Arthur barreled down the streets before pulling up right in front of the doors.
An angry nurse rushed out ready to chew their heads off seeing as only ambulances were allowed to stand there, but when Tommy exited with a blood-covered Y/N, the tone changed in the snap of a finger as they rushed her inside and immediately wheeled her away for surgery.
To Tommy’s chagrin, no amount of threatening would make the nurse budge and let him be in the operating room.
“I could have your whole family killed,” he sneered, running a hand through his hair. “You will let me inside there.”
But she just squinted at him. “The only thing I will let you is shut up and sit down in the waiting room. If you don’t stop your tantrum, you’re more than welcome to wait outside.”
And that was it. He couldn’t do anything but comply as she went away to check on other patients, Tommy was left alone to slide down the wall, head against his knees as he waited and waited and waited for any news on Y/N.
By the time she was stitched up, he’d dozed off and found himself being shaken awake by Polly, a blanket draped over his shoulders.
“Where is she?” he slurred, staggering up against the wall and grabbing his aunt by her biceps. “Is she alright?”
“She’s fine.” Polly placed a hand on his cheek before giving him a bundle of clothes. “You’ll go change, and then I’ll take you to her room.”
“I don’t have time to change, I need to see my wife.”
Polly’s eye-roll was as royal as Y/N’s usually were. He wondered if when they’d share tea on Friday evenings, they compared the better techniques of how to accomplish a better one. “You will get changed because you’re covered in blood. Y/N doesn’t need to see you like that, so go. I’ll be here, and she isn’t going anywhere.”
For a moment they held one another’s gazes like a bull and its matador before Tommy gave in and rushed to the men’s bathroom to quickly wipe himself down with some moist toilet paper and shrugged on the clean clothes. When he looked in the mirror, he wondered if Polly had really done it for Y/N’s sake or his, as the thought of her blood on his hands made bile rise in his throat.
Once he was finished, Polly was there as promised and quickly lead him to a secluded room where he found Y/N’s sleeping body.
They’d washed her face and taken her hair out from the up-do, now put in a simple braid, while her body was covered in a white hospital gown, the layers of gauze where she’d been pierced by the bullet visible as her left arm had been wrapped to her stomach to limit movement.
The shot hadn’t been fatal, the doctor informed him. A through and through of the left shoulder, and all of that would’ve been well, had it not been during the second night of their stay when Tommy snapped awake to Y/N’s moans, her face covered in sweat and body shuddering.
Instantly he rushed out to find a nurse who quickly took her temperature.
An infection had spread, and when he was pushed out of the room by another nurse as a doctor rushed in, vials and syringes in hand, something crystalized in Tommy’s mind. That incredible fear he’d felt when he’d seen Y/N bleeding under him, while she’d looked at him with annoyance and frustration was something he thought he’d never feel again after Grace; he thought the snitch had taken all of it with her when the truth had come out.
Love. He was in love. What had started as a business transaction of mutual benefit, had somehow morphed into mind-numbing love that now coursed through Tommy’s veins. All the things he’d wanted with Grace before – a family, a house somewhere far away from everything, with nights spent curled up with one another while a fire crackled in the hearth – he’d never wanted with Y/N, not until the moment that option had been seemingly ripped away.
Now all he could see, as he sat vigil by her bed day and night, were the ghostly apparitions of their would-be future had he not been what he was – a little girl swinging her legs on the edge of Y/N’s bed, his piercing blue eyes combined with soft Y/H/C hair, the lovely slope of her wife’s nose and his high cheekbones making up her face. A perfect little copy of the two, as if one night they’d stood in front of a mirror and their reflections had melted together. And then the apparition looked at him, accusation in her eyes – what gives you the right to be sitting there with barely scraped knuckled, while she is on that bed? She wouldn’t be there if not for you and your ways.
Tommy shook his head, averting his gaze as if trying to shake the ghost away, leaning his head against her free hand he’d kept clutched in his for days on end as doctors and nursed cleaned and rewrapped her wound, put antibiotics in her drip and monitored her breathing and heartbeat.
“You can’t leave me,” he mumbled under his breath, tone as if he was experiencing a feverish hallucination or more a sleep-deprived one. “You can’t leave me. I forbid it, ya hear me? Forbid it. You’re ma wife, and I refuse to let you die; you have no rights to die, and if you do, I’ll follow you and drag you back here, ya listening? I mean every word – you are not allowed to die!”
He was ranting like a madman and had it not been for a huff filled with exasperation escaping Y/N’s lips he would’ve continued, but then she mumbled “Bold of you to assume I’ll listen to any shit you tell me to do,” and Tommy swore he passed out.
The relief which flushed through his body made him lightheaded, and normally when Y/N would say something like that, Tommy would just clench his teeth and sigh, but just at the sound of her voice – trembling, gravelly, exhausted voice – he was laughing, taking in deep breaths to have his brain come back to normal. She was awake, and despite her words, she’d done what he said for the first time in her life. She hadn’t left.
It didn’t come easy for him to say the words, but they were true, and if he held onto any sort of principle, it was never to lie to Y/N. Withhold information maybe, but never lie.
“I was so scared you were gonna die.” The words were quiet, barely a whisper as Tommy kept his eyes on her.
Y/N snorted and shook her head. “I’d burn hell down if I let a stupid infection be the thing that took me out. I’m a Shelby. If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be with guns blazing not because of a dirty scalpel or unwashed hands. Besides I need to have a word with the asshole that started the whole thing, so can’t die before I’ve given him a piece of my mind. Unless…”
But Tommy shook his head at her inquiring gaze. “We’re keeping him in a warehouse. Told John to make sure the bastard is alive when I come for him, but seeing as I haven’t left the place, haven’t had the chance to.”
Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked Tommy up and down. “How long haven’t you slept?”
“Fuck if I know.” He shrugged. “Close to six days?”
“Fucking shit, Tommy!” Y/N scolded him and threw her head back into the pillow. She missed the plush one she had at Arrow House. “I need to focus on healing, not making sure your idiotic ass doesn’t drop dead from sleep deprivation.”
“I couldn’t,” he stressed, squeezing her palm, a new note in his voice, one neither had heard before coming from him. “I couldn’t leave. I had to make sure you were breathing. What if I fell asleep and you stopped, and I didn’t notice? Didn’t get a doc or a nurse here in time? What then?”
Y/N was stunned at his words, at the raw emotion in them as if he had been absolutely petrified at the thought of her dying. “What happened to this being a marriage only in name?” She whispered as it was true – they’d never even had sex and the only time they’d kissed was at the wedding. From her point of view, they were more coworkers than anything.
“What happened is you weaselled your way into my heart.” He gave her a pained smile. “You dug those manicured nails into the walls I’d built, and then you simply destroyed them. And now, because of what you’ve done, the only thing that would destroy me is losing you. And I can’t… I can’t have that.”
Y/N’s eyes softened as her lips curled into a gentle smile, her hand cupping Tommy’s cheek, and he practically melted, placing his own palm over hers so she couldn’t take it away. “Well, I guess it’s good to know it only takes me almost dying for you to admit it.”
Tommy chuckled as a new wave of relief flooded his veins as she hadn’t rejected him. “I know you’re just itching to call me an idiot, so go for it.”
“Oh, you’re more than just an idiot.” Y/N snorted. “But I’ll refrain myself from that pleasure. You look bad enough, and I don’t need to hurt your ego more. Lord knows the one’s with the biggest ones, have them the most fragile.”
A cheeky smirk appeared on his face, something Y/N had grown to love in secret and revelled in the fact she no longer had to keep it that way. “Mine might be massive, but it’s hard as a rock.”
And there it was – that eye-roll he’d been missing and feared would never see again before she took her hand away from his face and started to shimmy to the side.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” he scolded her watching as she winced in pain, but not letting the opportunity to roll her eyes once again at him pass her by. “You need sleep,” she huffed, finally on the edge of the already small bed. “And I need to know you’ll actually sleep not pretend to do so. So, you’re going to get in this bed, and do as I say.”
Tommy chuckled, raising his hands in defeat before he toed off his shoes and slid next to her. “Doctor’s orders?”
“My orders.”
“Then I can’t disobey, can I?”
“Not unless you want me to cut off that ego, no you can’t,” Y/N grumbled as Tommy laid down, one hand going under her pillow to pull her closer, motions done with the utmost care to not hurt her even more.
“Y/N, I-,” He swallowed before closing his eyes for a moment and then opened them. “I love you. And I will never be able to say how sorry I am for all of this. I just – I just need you to know. To have you hear it from my own mouth.”
The silence that settled at that moment was absolutely terrifying. She hadn’t rejected him when he’d revealed his true feelings, but now he’d said the actual words, had said the three words which meant the world to him, and that scared him shitless, but he shouldn’t have been as the smile that erupted on her face made him choke on a breath and he didn’t even protest when she practically launched herself at him to press her mouth against his in a feverish kiss.
It was the first true kiss they’d shared, in Tommy’s mind, not just as a husband and wife, but as a whole, as two people who had vowed to devote themselves to one another, and he never wanted it to end.
Y/N’s pressing need for air made her pull back, but he didn’t let her get too far away forehead pressed together as they enjoyed their newfound relationship, but Tommy just couldn’t leave it like that. “I heard you one night,” he murmured, his lips skimming hers. “Heard you playing with yourself and moaning my na-,”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Tommy,” she shoved at him, almost pushing him out of the bed, but still too weak to do any damage. He almost wished she could as it’d mean her strength was coming back, but he eased himself from the thought. Little by little; she’d get there. “Way to ruin a fucking moment.”
Tommy just chuckled, nuzzling his face against her neck. “Wanna know a secret?”
“No.” She looked at him with a pout on her lips which he affectionately pecked. “Definitely not.”
Tommy shrugged. “I’ll tell you anyway – that night, I touched myself as well. And all I had on my mind was how you’d look underneath me.”
For a second, Y/N held his eyes and then a wicked smile emerged on her lips. “Funny. That night I was thinking of how you would look underneath me.”
Tommy hummed before kissing her again. He couldn’t get enough. “You. Just you, I’d let be on top.”
Y/N’s tongue snaked into his mouth, and if she wasn’t still injured and in a hospital bed Tommy would’ve ripped her clothes off in a second. “I think I’ll let you live with the illusion you’d have a choice in that for just a little while longer.”
Yeah, Tommy might be soft with her, but if anyone tried to mess with Y/N, he’d show just what kind of justice he can serve. The Changretta’s man would attest to that. That was if he could speak after the Shelby couple was done with him.
A/N: I saw Cillian Murphy in a dream once this week, and now I’m an absolute simp. Please also note, I haven’t actually seen Peaky Blinders, so most of this is going by what I’ve read. But my god, do I HAVE to watch the show now.
You waited in the small pub just outside of Small Heath. There had been gunfire and shouting. Men running back and forth. No word had been sent by Tommy but you still followed through with his plan to meet you at the train station.
“This is ridiculous. We should go back to London.” You sister chastised. She had come along to meet the family you had married into. The rest of your family disapproved and wouldn’t come. By the way she was acting you assumed she had only come along to voice her disapproval in person.
“It’ll all be fine. It always is. He has a way of being fine.” You said calmly as you sipped your drink. You had been served at the table you chose, the crowd around the bar had been abandoned by the bartender who rushed to serve a Shelby lest something terrible happened in the pub.
“He’s like a cockroach. Always survives.” Your sister said with a touch of irritation. She had put her handkerchief down on her seat before sitting. She pulled another from her bag to clean the glass she was served and then set her bag on her lap where she clutched it. You had someone at the train station take the bags and keep them locked in the office so that someone could be sent to fetch them later, they of course agreed, your sister complained and insisted that you would be robbed. You felt there would be no point explaining no one would rob a Shelby.
“I’ll ignore that.” You muttered as you sipped at your drink. She scoffed, refusing to touch the drink beyond cleaning the glass. Both of you turned to the door when someone stepped in and the pub fell silent. “Tommy!” Getting up you hurried over to him. He was tucking his gun under his jaket. He embraced you as you reached him and looked over your shoulder to your sister who was giving him her hardest stare.
“The man who shot at me looked more friendly than you sister.” Tommy muttered.
“Be grateful she is the only one who came. There is fury over the secret wedding we invited them to, which they all refused to come to. They tried to introduce me to someone when I was up there. They’ve been informed I will not be going back until we have an apology. I think she came back with me to convince me to go back to my parents home.” You filled Tommy in. He chuckled and nodded as he listened, you had warned him that something like that had happened. He and his brothers had taken bets on the whole ordeal.
“I think I’d rather take on another gun man.” Tommy said but smiled as he approached your sister. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I imagine it is.” She answered curtly. Looking to you, she added. “Will we be getting out of this place?”
“Of course. I just need to make a phone call.” You excused yourself and left the two of them together as you asked the bartender for the phone. Dialling for Ada you informed her that your sister was behaving the exact way you had assumed and that she should go ahead and give Polly the ok for her plan to dazzle your sister with lavish decorations, food and company. Ada laughed as she hung up. When you made your way back to them you found Tommy and your sister stood in awkward silence.
I decided to try drawing traditionally for the first time in a while, and I’ve recently gotten a new hyperfixation: Peaky Blinders. So, have this Tommy Shelby portrait thingy, I hope you like it!
Also I’ve got a prettyhuge crush on Cillian Murphy, so this isn’t the last you’ll see of him on my page, probably ;)
Does this mean my hiatus is over? Will I be posting regularly again?
Probably not, to be honest. I think I’ll simply post whenever I finish a drawing I’m proud of, so I honestly don’t know when I’ll be posting again. ^^
