In the Shadow of Somme

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x female/Sister/Reader

Summary: Thomas believes his sister is a blessed woman, never faced war nor the destruction of France, but one day they find out what their sister was up to in 1916.

Warning:mentions of war, death, argument

Word Count: 1.4k      

Thomas Shelby Masterlist

The words were driving her crazy and burned deep into her skin. Tears veiled her vision, but didn’t slide down her cheeks. Y/N was strong, stronger than the brothers thought, perhaps even stronger than the men together who had found a place around the table on the sofa of dark leather.

Words echoed over and over and the secret almost escaped her lips, but Y/N remained strong, not wanting to be pitied or respected for what she had done as dark messages spread over all lands and drowned golden years. The name of the country which had scarred the hearts echoed hundreds of times, rippling old wounds open and making hatred and tears flow in dark chambers.

No more blood dripped and stained the fields. Nevertheless, when silence reigned, Y/N thought she could hear the cries of the wounded men carried into the tent on makeshift stretchers. The long skirt and the piece of clothing with long sleeves and a high collar made it impossible to discover the traces of France on her body. Deep scars reminded her she was also there, where nobody, woman nor man, should ever be. The deep wounds had long since healed. The blemishes and blueish marks had disappeared many months ago, but her skin ached now and then, and fear clouded her mind when she recalled the gas bomb going off a few steps away from the camp where she was stationed.

Y/N folded her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the frame of the wooden door. Half-heartedly she was listening to her brothers reminisce about the greyed memories of fun days at the front, playing cards in the dark trenches, drinking rum, but with each passing hour, the stories grew darker and darker until they resembled shadows forming into monstrous crashing waves. Tragic stories never crossed Y/N´s lips, not wanting her brothers to hate her for what she had done, had left the land to serve, and wrapped herself in a cloak of silence.

Y/N stared into the distance. Tears no longer obscured her vision, saw sharply and clearly and it seemed as if she was emotionless, not showing compassion, but after watching hundreds of men die, holding the cold hands adorned with dirt and grime, Y/N could no longer grieve nor cry. Winter ruled in her eyes. She remembered the words of men begging for a gentle touch as the spark of life faded away and after seeing children die in her arms, calling for their mother, Y/N grew stone cold. Her heart turned into a block of ice and not even the death of a beloved could make her cry.

Glasses collided with the table again, but Y/N no longer recoiled.

            “Won’t you sit at our table, sister?” Arthur joked in a joyful tone.

The tie no longer hung neatly on the white button and traces of wine had eaten into the material.

            “No, thank you.”, “She doesn’t belong at our table. Those are stories a woman like her wouldn’t bear.” laughed Thomas harshly.

A dark veil settled on Y/N. She pressed her lips together, forbidding the words to pass and shrugged her shoulders dismissively. The words could no longer hurt her, at least that’s what she thought, but suddenly Y/N felt a slight burning sensation spreading through her heart as she realised how low her brother taught about her.

            “Am I not right? The trench I was trapped almost killed me.” Thomas said. “And I will not speak of the land mines. I smell the stench of explosives in my worst dreams.” the dark-haired man in the suit continued.

John, Thomas and the others’ eyes wandered from Arthur to Y/N. A faint smile spread on her lips, had heard those words too often, was able to recite them.

“A woman is not able to face war and danger. While our lovely Y/N, sat here at home on her backside, warming herself by the fire, I risked my life for her safety. That’s why she’s a mere seamstress. The only danger you will face is that you might accidentally hurt yourself with the needle.” Thomas raised his voice.

A mischievous grin spread across his lips. Her blood was boiling. The walls crumbled. Anger mingled with sadness. Y/N gulped and stepped forward, pushed herself off the frame of the door and strolled towards the brothers. Y/N clenched her hands into fists, nails dug deep into the soft flesh. She breathed in and out and tried to calm herself down, but the fire rising in her chest couldn’t be extinguished.

            “What are you trying to say, Thomas?” Y/N asked.

She took a step towards her brothers, focused her gaze on Thomas and ignored the others sitting at the richly set table.

            “Exactly what I said. Women are.”, “Shut your goddamn mouth, Thomas.” Y/N hissed.

She stopped two steps away from the table. She had heard enough, knew perfectly well what he was trying to say, that she was a mere woman, weak and incapable of defending herself and facing the war.

“How can you be sure I was here? Were you here? How can you be so sure?” asked Y/N in a mocking tone.

            “It’s all over your face,” replied Thomas dryly, leaning back with his arms folded in front of his chest.

            “Then you are a blind man, Thomas. I was in France. I didn’t have a gun in my hand, but I have seen more of the war than you think. Children died in my arms and the men broke down crying. Y/N said.

Eyes widened. Skin paled.

“A bloody bomb went off next to my tent. I would have died that very night. I was in France, in Verdun and Somme in 1916 and later I worked in a hospital in London. Bombs killed more than dozens of my friends. I was on the same train as you, Thomas, when you were taken from France. You were asleep or maybe you have fainted. I stood right by your side and dabbed sweat from your temple and helped you to drink. I had to help you.” Y/N continued.

Colours slipped from the faces. Questioningly, the men in suits looked at the sister, but Y/N did not want to answer any of the questions escaping in low tones. Her heart broke. Tears obscured her vision, but Y/N saw clearly. The heaviness fell off her shoulders.

            “I understand you more than you think, Thomas, yet who is the person who drinks to forget? You or me? The war shattered my heart. When you arrived from war, I stayed at your side. I was strong for you. I nursed you, but who was at my side when I needed someone?” Y/N asked.

There was silence. The last of the curtains dropped.

“No one,” Y/N whispered.

“I don’t ask anything of you in return. I don’t need to hear how great I am, but please stop portraying me as a woman who has been hiding. Please understand me, I didn’t tell you all because I knew you would talk me out of it and I knew I had to help the people. I have saved many lives.” Y/N continued.

Her voice broke into hundreds of pieces. She opened her heart, allowing them to hear the story they had never heard before. John’s mouth dropped open, unable to trust the words of his older sister, as did the others seated at the coffee table. The alcohol had faded out of their bodies and mist no longer dulled their minds.

“I’ll be on my way, the hazardous needles and pins await me and Thomas, your suit is finished. I hope you will like it. I’ll bring it in the morning. If you are looking for me, I will be in my room and do the work of a woman. I need to finish the coats. Good night.” Y/N said.

Silently the young woman walked away, ignoring the questions crossing the lips like a hurricane, pretending to be deaf to those spoken like crashing waves.

Taglist:

blyanyanfckminiTalessandra97921-800-coffeemillies0bsimpmarvelwhoreunfortunatelyalessandra9792smailawaysummertimedepressionalldaysdreamerselliazemystic-gnome

kathrinemelissatedpicklezdaynaelizabethclairereynolds

Lost and Rewritten

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x female/Reader

Summary: Thomas Shelby, a single father, lost his son at the fair and finds him in the arms of an unknown woman and is enchanted by her.

Word Count: 2.1k     

a/n:Thomas Shelby Masterlist

Part OnePart Two

The day was waning, and the golden hue of the sun kissed the end of the world. Birds chirped, left the kingdom and settled on the lightly dancing branches of the trees, framing the estate like a painting.

In the depths of the eyes, they had long since lost themselves, no longer able to look into the distance and were deaf to the voice of the wind knocking on the windows flanked by dark curtains. The cups had been emptied and crumbs adorned the round plates painted with beautifully curved flower tendrils in bluish tones. With each word, stories of greyed memories, the hearts opened wide. Thomas laughed and Y/N continued the tale. His eyes sparkled in delight and his voice was nearly delicate, longing to hear more, ignoring the sun and the faint stars gracing the sky. The smile seemed to grow larger with each passing moment, a grin, not even dreadful news could make it disappear, was on his features. Delight and happiness painted his eyes in bright hues, lighter than the sun and all the stars of the sky together.

A cold gust accompanied by joyous shouts swept through the estate, filled every room and let the adults seated on the sofa in dark shake the heads. Fear didn’t cloud the mind nor rooted deep in the hearts chanting serenades as Thomas and Y/N looked simultaneously at the grinning children rushing in great haste through doors like a horde of savages. Scolding words didn’t escape the young mother. Joy ruled in her daughter’s gaze, swiftly followed by Charlie into the living room. Breathing heavily, huffing, the children stopped. A bright reddish hue painted the cheeks, and they grinned widely at the parents, looking wondering at the children. Charlie and Claire exchanged quick glances. Soft words echoed; an illegible murmur of faint voices oozing with excitement. The children clasped the hands behind the body and Charlie whispered low words and looked questioningly at Claire, but no answer escaped. Y/N knew the expression of mischief, had seen it countless of times. Y/N gazed from Tommy to the children and sat down on the sofa so she could survey them closely.

            “We wanted to ask you something.” Claire broke the silence. “Now it’s your turn, Charlie,” Claire added after a moment.

Nudging Charlie with her elbow, Claire poked him again, but the shy boy didn’t respond. Her eyes spoke volumes, could not understand why Charlie had not yet continued as agreed a few minutes ago in the garden. The dark-haired boy lowered his gaze in shame, pressed his lips to a fine line and again looked up as he realised he had to continue.

            “Eh, we were going to ask you if we could play hide and seek or catch together. All of us. You and Y/N/N and Claire and I. It will be more fun.” Charlie shyly proffered.

He was blushing and Y/N´s heart melted like gold.

The desire to follow them was non-existent and hundreds of excuses rested on the tip of the tongue, but none overcame, came to light and stayed well hidden, locked up behind sealed lips. The parents exchanged glances, wanting to continue the conversation they had started, to find out more about each other, but the expression on the children’s faces made it impossible to send them out of the house again, to let them know they had no desire or interest to spend more time together.

            “What do you think, Y/N?” Thomas asked.

A soft laugh escaped the young mother, couldn’t remember the last time she had played catch and was shocked, couldn’t believe she had never played it with her daughter and Y/N couldn’t say no.

            “Why not? But the sun is about to set and I think we should head home soon, Claire. We don’t want to delay or disturb you and Charlie unnecessarily.” Y/N pronounced.

An indignant sound immediately escaped as Claire heard what her mother had pronounced in an audible tone, but the look in her eyes forbid Claire to say anything, to protest loudly.

“You are not disturbing us Y/N and we have enough unoccupied rooms in the building and I am certain the children would be happy to spend more time together.“ Thomas said.

Slowly Thomas rose as he spoke the words Y/N in the deepest depths of her heart, hoped to hear. The elegant gentlemen held out his right hand and Y/N accepted his invitation and realised, astonished, that his hand was huge compared to hers. Her lips gaped open and Y/N did not notice how she threatened to lose herself in the depths of the sky, in a sea of adoration, but no water filled her lungs. A warm shiver travelled down her spine and banished the cold from her limbs. In a gesture, almost affectionate, Thomas lowered his hand to Y/N’s back, led her away from the sofa they had been sitting on for the last few hours, strolled towards the door where the whispering children stood, grinning and chatting in delight, happy the plan they created in great detail worked perfectly.

Claire smiled, had never witnessed such happiness painting her mother’s eyes in the brightest of colours.

Thomas stepped away from Y/N and immediately she missed his closeness, the warmth his heart was spreading. Again Y/N wanted to find herself in his embrace, sitting on the sofa and listening to stories and tales. Eyes met and Y/N felt her heart collide with her chest, wishing their paths had crossed earlier, maybe ten years ago, seeing the love, the joy in his eyes as Charlie came to tell him something. Y/N knew he had to be a good man, had never seen such love in a man’s eyes. Warmth rose in her cheeks. Thomas took the coat from the hook and walked with long steps towards Y/N, who was looking at the joyful children who disappeared from the house with quick steps and wanted to separate from the adults as quickly as possible to hide from them.

            "I hope you don’t mind,” Thomas said.

Y/N looked up questioningly. An unfamiliar scent, yet so familiar, a scent befuddling her senses and making her heart beat faster, enveloped her as she felt a heavy material settle on her shoulders. Y/N smiled and her fingers clawed into the dark material. Her coat was hanging again.

            “It rained early this morning and I don’t want your coat to get dirty. I hope you don’t mind. I will give Claire one of Charlie’s shirts and trousers. I am convinced I will find something fitting.”, “Why should I mind Thomas? Thank you, but it’s not necessary. Really.” Y/N breathed, but Thomas shook his head in response.

            “May I?” Thomas asked.

Confused, Y/N looked up, unable to take her eyes off the tall man, but then she saw his hand pointing to the long sleeves and the young mother understood and nodded. Thomas took a step towards Y/N. The black suit jacket no longer covered his body. His fingers played with the long sleeves, rolled up the too-long material and her delicate hands, her fingers appeared in the bright golden light.

The black waistcoat covered the white button-down, white as a pearl as clouds, and Y/N recognised her work, saw the extra compartment for small bottles on the waistcoat to which a golden clock was attached.

            “Thank you, Thomas but.”, “You don’t have to worry about me darling, I certainly won’t be cold and we should hurry, the children are waiting and we shouldn’t keep them waiting,” Thomas interrupted Y/N, knew exactly what she wanted to pronounce

Warmth rose again in her cheeks and gratefully Y/N accepted the arm Thomas offered her. Wordlessly, Thomas led Y/N out of the house, down the long corridor, and together they strolled towards the light streaming into the house through the open front door of dark wood. Following the path, they heard the chanting of laughter echoing loudly across the land, through gardens and fields.

Suddenly, there was a great silence. Y/N and Thomas exchanged quick glances and mischievously they grinned.

            “Oh, where might the children be?” Y/N cried out loud.

The question did not have to escape, saw the children hiding behind the trunk of the enormous tree.

“I wonder, I can’t see them anywhere. Hopefully, they haven’t gone missing but you don’t have to worry Y/N, I’m sure we’ll find them and if not, I’ll contact the police. You don’t have to worry, I won’t sleep a wink this night until we find them,” Thomas agreed in a worried tone.

Grinning, they walked towards the lonely tree many steps away from them, behind which the children thought they were completely hidden.

“I think you must call a doctor; Mister Shelby, I feel my heart about to burst with worry. I think I need to sit down.”, “You worry me, darling, Y/N/N, come sit on the bench. I will bring you a glass of water and a damp cloth for your forehead.” Thomas reassured the young woman at his side.

Grinning, he showed with his eyes that they should surprise the children from both sides to forbid them to run away. Y/N grinned, missing his closeness, longing to be near him, and moved towards the tree, whose bark was dark as oak. A shriek escaped the children. They jumped, no longer giggling softly, and ran away in great haste.

            “It’s your turn mum.”, “Oh no! I’ll catch you,” Y/N said in shock.

Y/N did not run quickly after the two children and Thomas ran alongside them, was slow, and saw the joy in the children’s eyes as they ran away from Y/N in his direction. The curls danced in the wind. Y/N rushed up slowly, felt the heels of her shoes sink into the soil, reached out with her arms and caused the children to burst out laughing as they escaped her reach. He got lost in her eyes and for a moment Thomas thought that he had known her for a long time, that she was part of the family.

            “Tommy?” breathed a voice.

Suddenly he awoke from his stupor and felt hands resting on his body and he looked down, saw the woman who was smaller than him. Thomas stood motionless in the shadow of the tree.

            “Your turn,” Y/N added, out of breath.

Thomas caught himself and laughed. Turning around, he made no effort to run slowly, running faster towards the children. They chased each other up and down the garden like wild animals, laughing and shrieking, ignoring the stains freckling the clothes.

The day was waning, and the sun shrouded the world in a reddish glow

            “My legs aren’t that long; I can’t run fast.” Y/N breathed out of breath, gasping for air, trying to fill her lungs with air.

Suddenly, her eyes widened, noticing how close they were. His warm breath collided with her face. A shiver danced down her spine. The fingers of his right hand traced the contours of her face, memorising every perfection, seeing the goosebumps, the loving smile on her lips and the love in her eyes seeming endless.

            “Are you cold?” Thomas asked.

Worry spread on his features, kissed by the golden sun. Nothing could escape his sharp eyes. Carefully, his hands slid up and down her arms to give her warmth. Y/N shook her head, but Thomas saw the lie in her gaze.

            “Charlie, Claire, we’re going back inside. Y/N is cold and you should come too and if you are hungry, then go into the kitchen.” the man added.

Smiling, he ignored the faint words escaping Y/N, trying to stop him from letting the children know she was no longer able to play with them in the garden.

            “Okay.” the children said at the same time.

The children continued to play in the garden, hiding behind the bushes and the trunks of the many different trees whose branches danced in the wind.

Down the narrow path, Thomas with Y/N at his side walked towards the house and it seemed as if they were a couple setting out on a journey together. Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling comfortable at a man’s side after long years of loneliness. His hand rested on her back in a protective gesture and the warmth his body radiated banished the cold feasting on her skin.  

Memories made to last forever - Tommy Shelby (smut)

Requested by the lovely @zablife - Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: A morning spent together after a night filled with anticipation and pleasure thumping through their veins.

Warnings: 18+, mutual masturbation, pretty soft

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

The morning was about to break through the darkness, waking those that needed to flee from home, to make it to work on time, escaping from their deep slumber. Neither (y/n) nor Tommy had managed to fall asleep, bodies tangled, fucking through their highs and lows like starving soldiers trodding through a warfield.

“Watch me, I told you to keep your eyes on me, didn’t I?” With his naked body on full show, Tommy leaned back, body resting on their warm mattress. He alighted his cigarette, smoke momentarily engulfing him as his eyes focused on (y/n). She ran her hands along her bare body, placed vis-a-vis her grinning husband. 

(Y/n) had lost count on how many orgasms had swapped through her in the past hours, consuming her heart and soul like poison thumping through her body. He was her own personal darkness, the bite of death she couldn’t and didn’t want to run from. A soul darker than the cloudy nights, though a heart warmer than the summer heat. Tommy Shelby, a mystery to those that don’t know him like she does. 

“Fuck,” a cry bubbled out of her, eyes fluttering close as she added more pressure to her touch. “When you’re away from me, I keep on touching myself to the thought of you. I try to imagine how you’d touch me, how you’d kiss me. How you’d fuck me.” Her arousal-covered digits rubbed her clit, the sensitive bundle of nerves pulsed, begging for yet another relief. 

Tommy blew the blue smoke through his nostrils, eyes not leaving her frame once as he placed his cigarette down. His cock grew harder, struggling to go against his mind’s command, not wanting to give into her games just yet. But he was awful at gambling, at least when he was playing against her, would lose every game with a smile tugging on his lips and his eyes growing softer. He would willingly lose everything, if it meant seeing her smile for him. 

“Touch yourself for me, Tommy.” His big hand found his cock, following her command without thinking twice. She would guide him, every movement of his hand, every squeeze of his fingers, even his pace - (y/n) was the only one who could command him like this. 

“Want to touch you, feel your skin beneath my fingers.” Tommy’s rough voice coaxed a whimper out of her, fingers moving quicker, adding more pressure to her clit. It was a sinful sight, a sight that would burn itself into their memories, forever following the two lovers around when they’d part ways for hours, days, or even weeks. 

Memories made to last forever. 

“Don’t close your eyes.” Her warning left him smirking, eyes struggling to stay open as he squeezed his shaft. Both would try to give in at the same time, moaning for one another as if they were singers, practicing their new performance. 

His hands moved in uneven strokes, having to ground himself before he would cum way too soon with her name burning on his tongue and his head thrown back. Tommy enjoyed watching (y/n) make herself cum to the sight in front of her, his naked frame, the desperate moans rumbling through him, a sight only she gets to see. 

“My beautiful girl, fuck, can’t wait to feel you wrapped around me again.” He had an insatiable hunger for her, needing her like the air he was breathing, tasting like the first cigarette Tommy would smoke in the morning, feeling like a hug shared after months apart. The rising of his day. 

“I’m so close, will you cum with me?” Her glassy eyes were filled with excitement, moaning as Tommy murmured a small “let go”. His name left her, rumbling through her body like a scream echoing through the night. Tommy followed her down the edge, cum painting his fingers white as he lazily kept stroking his cock. 

“Fuck, didn’t think you’d do this with me.” (Y/n)’s chuckles reverberated through the bedroom, hand reaching for a tissue Tommy could use to clean his fingers. He pulled her into his chest, lips meeting her sweaty forehead and for a second all they shared was silence. A silence that would soon be broken again with their moans and whines.

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Synopsis: He was soft as a snowflake with her, but that wrath he had in his veins still remained. Especially towards those who want to harm her.

A sort of a Softcontinuation

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: swearing, blood, implied sexual assault, sexy times (just a lil bit smutty), injuries, Y/N being a menace and doing and saying dumb things when she shouldn’t

Wordcount: 4486

Wrath was something Thomas Shelby was very familiar with. He felt it course through his veins whenever he saw and had dealings with rival gangs, he felt it overtake his mind whenever a business transaction went awry, and he felt it blind his sight whenever an employee screwed something up, ruining things for him. But never had he felt such absolutely consuming rage as he did when he came back home, entered his room, and found it trashed with blood spatter on the windows, mirror, and his marriage bed without his wife anywhere in sight.  

He knew someone had taken her. He`d gotten threats about it before, and although he didn`t think anyone would be stupid enough to actually go through with them, he`d increased the security around her. That is on top of the security measures he`d taken after what had happened at the charity ball where Y/N had ended up taking a bullet to the shoulder. It seemed that not only would he have to kill whoever took her, but also the imbeciles who hadn`t done their jobs.  

She`d put up one hell of a fight, that was visible as day, but he didn`t expect anything less from her. A week after he`d taken her home from the hospital, she`d snuck out of the bed, despite being under strict orders from the doctor (whom Tommy, for the first time in his life, listened to and enforced fully), was by the stove and cooking herself some lunch.  

Y/N had swatted at him with a ladle where the soup was boiling as he rushed to pull her away. “I`m hungry.”  

“It`s why I pay for a fucking chef!” Tommy exasperated. “Where even is he?”  

“Don`t know, and don`t care.” She huffed. “I want food right now, so I`m making it.”  

“No, you are going back to bed.”  

His wife snorted and placed a hand on her hip, fully turning to face him. “You know what, I think I’m starting to agree with the people who say a woman’s place is in the kitchen. It’s where we polish our knife skills so, later on, it’s so much easier to cut up our nagging husbands.”  

She had seeped so much into Tommy’s being, his eye roll could now rival hers. “How about a concerned husband whose wife got shot three weeks ago?”  

“Exactly,” Y/N said with a smile. “I got shot three weeks ago. Not you. So I get to do whatever I want, and if that includes making fucking soup, you have no choice but to let me.”  

The two stared at one another, Y/E/C stubborn eyes into the piercing blue of Tommy’s. If it had been a tug of war, the rope would have snapped in half because of the evenly matched tension.  

“That’s it,” he huffed and quickly picked Y/N up bridal style before she could do anything, the ladle dropping on the floor.  

“Wha - but my soup!” she whined, placing her chin on Tommy’s shoulder as he took her upstairs. Even though he couldn’t see the pout he knew it was there.  

Tommy puffed and shook his head, entering their room and gently placing Y/N in the bed. Although she no longer had the full wrap around her body, the doctor still recommended for the wound to be wound under a gauze, and every evening he made sure to clean the stitched-up skin before putting a fresh covering over it.  

As she scowled, he tucked his wife under the covers, placing both her and his pillows under her head, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at her face.  

“I’ll make you your soup.” He pecked her lips, and she reciprocated but made a face at him. “What?”  

“You can’t cook. That’s why you hired a chef.”  

He pointed a stern finger at her. “I will make you your god damned soup, and if it tastes like ass, that’ll be your punishment for getting out of the bed.”  

“God, you’re horrible,” Y/N groaned, but there was a smile on her lips. “I have married a monster who loves to torture me.”  

Tommy leaned over her body, hands braced by her head as his mouth skimmed over hers, making Y/N choke on a breath. “Oh, you have no idea what kind of torture I can put you through. When that shoulder of yours heals, I’ll show you just what I think about doing to you.”  

She looked properly frustrated, and even with the duvet covering her, Tommy saw her start rubbing her thighs together and being still pissed off about her getting out of bed, he leaned down and sucked a bruise on her collarbone just to prolong her agony. When her hands started threading through his hair, he pulled himself away before strutting out the door, but not closing it, so he could hear every single movement she made.  

“You are fucking evil!” Y/N screamed after him with a groan.  

“Yeah?” he yelled from the kitchen. “Just wait until you get your fucking soup!”  

However, midway through making it, Tommy had to turn the flame off and rush back up to their room as the tightness in his pants had grown to an uncomfortable level, throwing the covers off her wife’s body, raising the slip she had on and then eating her out like a starved man.  

Her broken moans were a new symphony for him, something he’d never heard before, but would raise hell and tear down heaven for them to never end. It was blissfully quick, how fast they came, despite him trying to drag every second out; both of them had been so wired up, five minutes was enough to have stars dance behind their lids.  

As Y/N panted, one hand thrown over her eyes, Tommy placed sweet kisses to the insides of her thighs, and then swiftly but tenderly cleaned her up with a warm cloth as well as changed out of his now stained underwear and trousers.  

“What was that?” she asked. “First you tell me off while I’m standing, mind you, by the stove for getting out of bed, but then you push your tongue as far as it can go in my cunt? What happened to no strenuous activities until the doctor says so?”  

A smirk was now etched on his still cum covered face, as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, blowing a stream of white smoke in the air. “For one, I just simply couldn’t wait any longer to do that.” He sat down on the bed next to her and raised her leg to rest on his shoulder so he could kiss her calf. “And two, I’ve decided on a new rule, since you’re so eager to disobey – you do something you’re not supposed to – I eat you out. You follow the rules – I eat you out, but twice as long.”  

Y/N snorted, eyeing him up and down. “Seems like a win-win to me.”  

“Ah, but here’s the kicker.” Tommy took one last drag of the cigarette and extinguished it in the tray on the bedside table. “You disobey, I get to eat that pussy for as long as I want, but you are not allowed to cum. Got it?”  

His wife scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You are one cruel man Thomas Shelby. But if you want me to listen to you, you better get that soup here as quick as you can. Otherwise, I might do something that’ll get me punished.”  

Tommy’s eyes glinted like the devil’s. “Seems like a win-win to me.”  

In the present though, he was a tornado in the room, trying to find any clue as to who had been the one to execute this plan. There was a lot of blood, but he hoped that not all of it was Y/N`s, otherwise he feared, by the time he came for her, she might`ve died from the loss of it.  

Right as he tossed over the mattress, he saw something glinting on the carpet. Leaning down he picked up a golden circle and twisted the ring around. It wasn`t one his, nor was it Y/N`s wedding ring, that being the only piece of golden jewellery she`d ever wear as she preferred silver.  

“Well, you gave me a silver fucking engagement ring,” she`d scoffed at him one time while the two were laying naked in bed. “And I can`t take that off, so I have to match everything else to it. `S your fault.”  

“Yes, of course.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Everything is my fault.”  

“Well, this is.” She extended her left hand up and wiggled her fingers, the single diamond in the centre of it glinting in the soft candlelight. Slowly, he`d dragged his palm up the inside of her arm before entwining his hold with hers, bringing their linked hands down for him to kiss.  

“Do you regret it, though?” His voice had been low, words whispered in the skin of her shoulder where a light star-shaped scar was the only reminder of the day he realized he was in love, as he rested his head against her chest. “Marrying me. Do you regret it sometimes?”  

Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “I regret a lot of things, some of which were always out of my control, yet I still can’t help but wish I could’ve done something to prevent them. But no. I don`t think so. At least there hasn`t been a moment up until now which would make me feel this way.”  

“Really?” The word was laced with so much hidden fear, for a moment Y/N didn`t recognize the Tommy she`d grown to know and love.  

Gently she cupped his cheek and pulled him closer so she could plant a delicate kiss on his lips. “Really. I love you. As you said in the hospital – you weaselled your way into my heart, and now I cannot imagine my life without you. Also, if you’re worried about that little thing,” she motioned with her head to her shoulder. “It just gives me plenty of blackmail against you because I know you feel guilty, so I can ask anything from you.”  

Tommy’s deadpan face was good, but it couldn’t cover the smile Y/N knew was hiding underneath. “You might not regret this, but I am starting to.”  

She just chuckled. “No, you’re not.”  

“No, I’m not.” And then he kissed her breathless.  

So now, as he twirled the ring between his fingers, he hoped it would lead him to his wife, but for forty-eight hours it had brought no fruits. It had no insignias or sigils, no carvings or any distinguishing marks he could use to discover who’d ordered the kidnapping.  

He had his men trail every possible enemy but to no avail, and it filled him with such rage he was ready to tear down England if he had to, staring with Birmingham itself and ending with the King’s castle.  

“Tommy,” John started as he walked inside his brother’s office where he had been cooped up for the last half-day only to be met by a flying glass of whiskey, and he barely got out of the way before it smashed against the mahogany doors. “The fuck is wrong with you?” John screamed.  

“The fuck is wrong with me?” Tommy sneered. “Let me think – my wife is missing, someone could be torturing her, while I’m stuck in the fucking betting shop looking over numbers I couldn’t care less about! That’s what’s fucking wrong! And people,” he pointed at John. “Keep fucking interrupting me without jackshit of worth to say so unless you have some-”  

“We found her!” John matched his tone interrupting his brother mid-rant.  

Tommy`s world stopped at those words, and his own answer was a whisper, almost not believing what his brother was saying. “You found her?”  

“Yes.” John nodded. “So do you want to keep looking over the books or -,” but John didn`t get a chance to finish as Tommy had stood up and was rushing out the door before him.  

“How’d you know it’s her?” he asked, quickly slipping in the car as Arthur pressed down on the gas.  

John snorted. “Talked to some old lady who complained about hearing some woman ‘swearing up and down a storm’ a couple of nights ago. Said she’d never heard such crude words come out of a woman’s mouth, and that she was more a sailor than a proper girl.”  

Tommy nodded. “Yeah, sounds like her.”  

Arthur cut the Bentley’s lights as they arrived near the warehouse, and so did the caravan of cars behind them, before stopping and quietly exiting.  

It was swift after that, as everyone assumed their positions, some of the Blinders climbing up on the roof to lay fire from up above while Tommy and the rest snuck inside the place.  

There were no guards or lookouts, which meant whoever was in charge of the operation was incredibly stupid, but for a moment he thought they were at the wrong place, as everything was dead silent until he heard a far-off echo of a familiar scoff.  

As he trailed after the sound, his wife’s voice became clearer and clearer as did a deep man’s one, his New York accent pushing through every syllable.  

Tommy hadn’t even thought it could be an American, he hadn’t had any dealings with the overseas people yet, the only person he knew who he had a clear connection to was…  

And that’s when it hit him. Only one person would hold such a personal grudge against him. After all, when all the lies had come to light, he’d banished her from the town and threatened to put a bullet between her eyes himself if she did come back. He just never thought Grace would find some lapdog to come and have him get her revenger for her.  

When he rounded the corner, Tommy finally, after two excruciating days, laid eyes on Y/N.  

She was bloodied, beaten, face swollen and almost unrecognizable, had it not been for the wrathful look in her Y/E/C eyes, Tommy wouldn’t know the woman sitting in the chair. He wasn`t going to lie – he definitely got hard at the way his wife was glaring at her captor, murderous intent in that blood-shot gaze while he circled her like a bee around a hive.  

“He`ll come for you,” she said, voice steady and sure.  

The man snorted and leaned down to face her, tilting his head to the side, his tone as if he was explaining simple math to a child. “That`s what I’m counting on.”  

“Then you`re even more fucking stupid than I thought.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head.  

Had she not looked half-dead, Tommy would`ve been proud of her standing up for them, but in this case, it made him sigh and grit his teeth, as even while being tied to a chair in just her slip, the fabric half-ripped and slashed, and he was very sure she probably had broken ribs as well - even in a moment like this, she just couldn`t keep her tongue behind her teeth. And then her eyes snapped at where he was hiding behind the corner and she winked.  

Of fucking course Y/N knew he was here. She was probably riling the man up because she knew Tommy was just right around the corner. She was gonna give him a heart attack one day. Tommy used to think he`d die at the barrel of a gun, but nope, it was going to be his wife and her seeming need to piss off every other gangster around them no matter what the situation was.  

“Yeah, the only thing I care about is him watching the life in your eyes die, but maybe while we wait…” The man turned towards Y/N and slowly started to unbutton his trousers. “We could have some fun? I`m sure Tommy won`t mind I use his whore for a bit. Has he stuck his prick in all your holes? Should probably experience some real pleasure before I put a gun between those lips and blow your brains out.”  

Tommy`s blood was cold in his veins, his vision now completely tunnelled in on the two bodies barely fifty feet away. Grace would suffer more than she ever had.  

With barely contained rage, he watched the scene unfold, his hands shaking, just itching to take the gun and bust the guy`s kneecaps, but John hadn`t given him the sign he was in position. Y/N cocked her head and eyed her captor up and down with a withering gaze.  

“Yeah, hard pass.” She crossed her legs, invertedly making the slip rise up her thighs, but the message was clear. “Besides, whatever you have hanging between those cheeks, could never compare to Tommy.”  

The man chuckled, unbuttoning the last of the buttons. “You`ve got a mouth on ya, don`t you? Don`t worry.” He put a hand on the back of Y/N`s head. “We`ll put it to good use for at least once in your sad life.”  

Tommy averted his gaze from the scene as something shiny caught his eyes as John flashed his watch, and Tommy nodded he`d seen it. He looked at Y/N. She was staring right back at him. She nodded as well.  

Right as the man was about to pull down his underwear, all hell broke loose, starting with his wife, who sprung up from her seat with the rope that’d been tied around her hands sawed in half more towards her left wrist, as she kicked the guy in the nuts and twisted the rope around his neck.  

Every Blinder that’d entered along with Tommy and his brothers, burst from behind crates and corners, guns levelled at the single man kneeling before his wife, as he choked for a breath.  

She was in such a trance, she didn’t hear nor notice Tommy step behind her and whip his coat off and around her, but he didn`t expect Y/N to try and fight him as she kicked and swatted at him, letting the man fall to the ground gasping which prompted John to kick him in the back of the head, knocking him out.  

“It`s me!” he yelled at his wife, while his brothers with the help of some other Blinders dragged the unconscious body out to be dealt with later. “Fucking quit it, will you?! It`s me!”  

“Tommy?” Y/N stopped struggling and looked at him while he covered her shoulders with the coat.  

“Yes, fucking Tommy, so will you stop trying to scratch my eyes out?”  

“Well, what do you expect me to do?” She waved her hand around. “I`ve been held captive for like two days and suddenly a bag is being pulled over my head!”  

“It`s not a bag!” Tommy held on the lapels of the piece of clothing. “Just put on the damned coat.”  

With a huff she grabbed at the front of it like she’d done so many times to Tommy to pull him down for a kiss, carefully sliding one arm in before Tommy took hold of the back of it and helped Y/N put the other one in as well. He could see her wincing in pain, and was pretty sure her ribs were at least bruised if not cracked or broken, so he mentally checked off a list as to what he had to do to Grace when he tracked her down.  

“Did you bring me any shoes?” Y/N dug around his coat’s pockets and found the leather gloves he preferred, slipping them on her smaller hands.  

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I was more preoccupied with trying to find and save you, than choosing which of your fashion accessories to bring along when I did.”  

Y/N pointed an accusatory finger at him. “If I catch a cold because of you, you will be the one taking care of me, not Ada or Polly. And I`m a horrible patient… Fashion accessories my ass.” She grumbled out the last bit as she buttoned his coat over her body.  

“Yes, I know.” Tommy wrapped his hand around her waist mindful of her injuries. “I had to take care of you after you got shot, remember? A bloody nightmare you were.”  

But he didn`t let her reply with whatever kind of witty remark was already on her tongue as he pressed his lips against hers. He hadn`t been able to kiss her for two days, so he put all of the ferocious love he had for her in his heart into that kiss.  

She hummed into the feeling of his lips on hers, hands weaving in his hair despite her body screaming at her, scratching at the nape of his neck before letting out a small hiss, her busted mouth being a pain, but Tommy’s tongue quickly rushed out to soothe the pain.  

“Tommy?” Y/N whispered after she pulled away for a breath.  

“Yeah, love?” His hands cupped her cheeks while she looked up at him with blown pupils.  

“You`ll always catch me, right?”  

His brows furrowed at her question. “Of course, I will.” He muttered, pecking her mouth. “Always.”  

“Good, good…” She nodded before rapidly blinking a few times. “Cause I`m about to pass out.” And then she promptly did. Her legs gave out underneath her, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.  

“Shit!” Tommy exclaimed as his hands went under her arms, before hoisting her up in his hold bridal style almost at the last second.  

Tommy sighed, looking down at her. She was now covered in his large coat, while he placed his peaky cap over her ears for warmth. “What am I going to do with you?” he mumbled more to himself than her, but Y/N nevertheless hummed in response slowly coming to, but Tommy didn`t dare put her on the ground. He`d carry her through fire if needed.  

“Love me,” she mumbled.  

A smile came on his face. “Already do.”  

“Feed me,” she continued, and Tommy snorted.  

“Will never be able to fill that void in your stomach.”  

Y/N sighed and opened up her eyes to look at him. “And never leave me.”  

Tommy shook his head. “Wouldn`t ever even dream of doing such a thing, but Y/N, I think I know who did this.”  

She hummed nodding her head and snuggling closer to his chest. “I think I do too. That ex of yours – Grace.”  

“How’d you figure it out? Was she here?” Tommy’s blood was boiling just at the thought of the blonde snitch being anywhere near Y/N, let alone harming her. “I swear if she did anything to you, she’ll be wishing for death.”  

By that point, he’d exited the warehouse and was gently placing Y/N in the back seat of the car, laying her head in his lap, as disorientated Y/E/C eyes stared at him. She shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard to figure it out. Between the American accent and how he tried to be clever and slip in conversation that “I could never be as graceful of a woman as I should”, it took me like a minute. Also, when I ripped off a ring from a chain he had around his neck, and he realized it, he went mental and started screaming he was going to propose to her with it.” Y/N winced as she shrugged. “This was apparently supposed to be some demented engagement gift.”  

“I’ll kill them,” Tommy whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll find Grace and make her watch as I kill the guy first, and then I’ll kill her. Or you can if you want.”  

Neither had noticed that the car was already moving and Arrow House had come in view, let alone that it had stopped, and Tommy’s brothers had exited to give them a little bit of privacy, already knowing Polly and Ada were in the house, and fussing would start when they’d see the state Y/N was in.  

After her getting shot, the matriarch of the Shelby clan had slowly started to become more friendly to Y/N. During their tea evenings, they were cordial but mostly had small talk. But afterwards, they talked about everything and anything, and Polly even sometimes re-laid Y/N’s ideas during family meetings when she was off doing her own thing at the printing press or her office of the publishing house Tommy had helped her establish to specifically take on female writers.  

“Funnily enough, I don’t want either of them dead,” Y/N said, cupping Tommy’s cheek and rubbing her thumb along his sharp jawline. “But I want them to suffer for an eternity. So leave them alive.”  

He couldn’t understand her train of thought. “Why?”  

“Because they failed, Tommy,” Y/N explained.  

“They might try again.”  

“And they’ll fail again if they do.” She pulled him down by his shirt and gave him a quick kiss. “I know you want to hurt them because they hurt you, but -,”  

“No, I want to hurt them, because they hurt you,” Tommy interrupted her. “In fact, I want them to bleed dry… but… if the Mrs. says I can’t…” He let out a sigh as if the next words were physically painful for him to say. “Then I won’t.”  

Y/N rolled her eyes, slowly staring to sit up, Tommy’s steady hand on her back to help however he could. “I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying you shouldn’t because now for the rest of their miserable lives they will live with the knowledge that we’re together, and we’re happy. We’ll be on their minds twenty-four seven without a break. We don’t need to hurt them to ruin their lives.”  

Tommy’s eyebrows were furrowed, as he pushed a dirty strand of hair behind her ear. Despite her state, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d laid his eyes on and had had the privileged to lay with. “When did you become such an expert in revenge?”  

“When she tried to take me away from my family.”  

He’d never been more grateful for Grace breaking his heart than in that moment, otherwise, he wouldn’t have met the love of his life.  

And a few weeks down when Y/N was healed, just some small aches in her body a reminder of what had happened, and they’d seen Grace through the windows of the Garrison, he couldn’t help but smile at the woman, while his wife shot her a devious wink before emptying her gin and tonic and pressing her lips against his in a kiss. When they pulled away and looked at her, Grace’s mouth was open in shock, eyes brimming with tears as her jaw clenched.

Yeah, his wife was right - this kind of revenge was truly the best as he got to watch Grace’s world crumble while his only grew, a gentle hand placed on his wife’s stomach. Not that either of them knew yet. 

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64​@supernaturalbaesduh​@breezy1415​@thatawkwardlittlefangirl​@sea040561​@staryeyedgirl​@deathbyarabbit​@m-a-t-91​@maladaptive-ninja-returns​@averyrogers83​@in-the-end-im-still-trash​@gallifreyansass​@dewy-biitch​@avxgers​@unlikelygalaxygiver​@magicwithaknife​@ollyoxenfrees​@bnhvrdy​@tvwhoresblog​@thatkindofgurl​@sj-thefan​@lestersglitterglue​@im-squished​@strangersstranger​

Thomas Shelby tags: @datewithgianni​@captivatedbycillianmurphy​@screemqueen​

A/N: This man has me by the ovaries.

P.S. please don’t repost on different platforms without my specific written consent. Reblogs are fine and welcomed

Synopsis: They’ve been friends ever since before the war. He’d do anything for her despite the ups and downs they’ve gone through, so when he finds her sobbing in his office he is ready to pull the world apart.

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader

Genre:angst/fluff

Warnings: swearing, some implied sexy times, mentions of war and death, suicide (implied, nothing explicit) but please do let me know if anything needs to be added.

Wordcount: 5373

Tommy wasn’t good with tears. He wasn’t good with the emotional pain of others; he didn’t really know how to console them or soothe the heartache in their chests. He wasn’t good with love either, at least in his own opinion. He never really knew how to express it, or show it in a way that it registered his loved ones knew he meant it. So, when he found Y/N sitting in his office on the settee absolutely bawling her eyes out, a fire blazing in the hearth, the Christmas tree decorated to the nines by the previously mentioned woman, he froze in the doorway, looking at her, the sleeve of the red and green festive dress used as a napkin to wipe away the biggest tears.

A million thoughts ran through his mind – she was hurt, someone had done something they’d lose their fingers and tongue for, especially during `the most wonderful time of the year`. Or maybe she’d accidentally hurt herself – if there was a characteristic that described his best friend since childhood, it was an absolute lack of coordination. It’s how they`d actually met.

He was about ten years old when he and his brothers had snuck out of the house to not do the chores Aunt Polly had set for them and ran off towards a field to kick around the ball, or just do nothing when he saw a small figure sitting by the dip in the ground where a lake was.

Her camel-colored coat covered shoulders were shaking while her face was hidden by her pulled up knees, and even from so far away he could see red staining what were once white knee-high socks, now covered in mud and blood, soaking ice skates right next to her while a hole had been cracked at the edge of the lake. Even so young he understood how lucky she’d been that she hadn’t ventured further in the water.

“Are you okay?” Tommy asked as he gave his brothers a look.

The question startled the girl and made her jump up, lip wobbling as she winced in pain. She was smaller than him, but around the same age, a knitted blue hat sliding down her forehead which she pushed back up in annoyance.

“`M fine.” She grumbled. “Who`re you?” A small sniffle escaped her as she wiped at her nose.

“`M Tommy.” He said and then pointed at an older boy and the younger one. “They’re my brothers Arthur and John.”

She eyed them warily, but nevertheless gave them a small wave; her mother would be appalled by her manners, but she was upset and didn’t care.

“We - we can take you home,” Tommy looked down at her knees and motioned to his brothers not really knowing what else to do in such a situation. Whenever Ada cried, he called for Aunt Polly, but there was no Aunt Polly here, yet she just shook her head, stepping forward and grabbing onto his arm.

“No. No, I can’t go home. My Mum will kill me. She told me not to come to the lake, and I’m wearing my good socks too, so if she`ll see them dirty, she`ll double kill me.”

A smile pulled on Tommy`s lips. “How can you double-kill someone?”

The girl just shrugged, pouting at his teasing. “I don`t know, but she can. She’s my Mum, she`ll find a way.”

“Okay,” he let out a small chuckle. “Well, we can take you to our Aunt maybe? She’ll help. And I promise she won’t say a word to your Mum.”

The girl squinted at him before extending her pinkie finger towards him, face now all serious as if this was an important business transaction and they were signing a contract. “You promise?”

He didn’t hesitate to link his own. “Promise. What`s your name?”

“Y/N.”

And that’s how their friendship had started. They grew up together, Y/N becoming quick friends with the Shelbys and especially Ada, seeing as Y/N was an only child, it was great to have another girl to talk to, but even so, she was always closest to Tommy. They shared secrets and dreams, and their bond grew from something fragile into the most stable thing in their lives. All that came crashing down when a single letter had been sent to Tommy`s house.

When she`d entered their house the next day and seen the white envelope, Y/N hadn’t needed to open it, to know what it said. Her father had gotten the exact same one a couple of days before.

Tommy knew she’d seen it, there was a different air about her while they talked and drank their whiskey-spiked tea, something electric and charged had formed between the two, but as she left his room with a chaste kiss to his cheek, eyes cast on the ground, he thought she understood it, understood why they had to go and fight, yet for the last two weeks before being shipped off, Y/N completely cut off all contact with him.

In his mind, he tried to justify it by saying to himself she had to spend as much time as possible with her father, it could be the last time she’d ever see him, but those days could also be the last time they would see one another, and his heart broke little by little with every moment she didn`t go see him.

When that horrible day he’d gone off to the station came, he’d expected for Y/N to come and say goodbye but as he stood on the platform, neck stretching over the sea of swirling people, only Aunt Polly and Ada were there to send him and his brothers off. He’d never cried in front of them, but as his heart shattered realizing Y/N was not going to arrive, he couldn’t contain the emotions.

“I`m sorry Tommy,” Ada pulled him in for one last hug, wiping his cheeks. “I went to her flat and begged her to come, told her you had something important to say, but no one answered.”

Tommy shook his head taking in a stuttering breath. “She – she probably already has to say goodbye to her dad, and her Mum didn’t take the news too well when the letter came in the first place. She’s probably with her.” Even with his love broken and in pieces on the ground by his feet, he still tried to give her an excuse, give a reason why she wouldn’t want to come.

Ada just gave him a sad smile, as the train let out a shrill whistle, making it known – this was the last goodbye. He stepped inside it, not looking back.

He’d never admitted it to anyone, not even his brothers knew, but when the train had started moving, Tommy had found the quietest and darkest possible place and just cried. He knew other men were crying too, heard their sniffling and whimpering as they left their lives and families behind, but he didn’t want to confide in people, didn’t want to be consoled. This was his pain, and his pain alone.

Four years. Four horrible and gruesome years passed before he was able to step on that same platform again, and much like when he`d left, the only people there to await him were his Aunt Polly and Ada, but his heart still ached for someone else.

“Is – is she still in town?” Tommy asked as they walked down the streets of Small Heath, feeling like a schoolboy with a crush as he asked that, not a man who`d returned from war having witnessed the most horrible things the world had to offer.

“She is.” Ada nodded. “Still lives in that tiny apartment. Her dad – he died during the first year of the war, and her Mum couldn’t take it. Joined him two months later.” She gave him a down-cast look.

Tommy didn’t need Ada to elaborate, understanding the underlying meaning behind her words. He`d heard about Mr Y/L/N death while in the trenches, he`d even written to Y/N, but never received any sort of a response or an acknowledgement she`d gotten his words of condolence, so as he broke off from his family and stepped up to the third floor of the dingy house where he knew the Y/L/Ns used to live, still dressed in his clothes from the ride, still with a bag of the minuscule number of things he had over his shoulder, his mind kept reeling, but it was already too late to back away as his hand had knocked against her door without his consent.

The sound of quick feet padding against the floor echoed around him, and it wasn’t too long before the door opened, it’s hinges creaking, and he finally laid his eyes on the woman who’d broken him all those years ago.

“Thomas,” Y/N whispered out, surprise lacing her features. She looked so much like the last time he’d seen her, yet she was different. A sadness swirled around her now, darkening her shadows and dulling her once bright Y/E/C eyes. He hated it. “I didn’t know you were back in Small Heath.”

“I – I was waiting for you.” He said the first thing that came to his mind, voice low, pushing away the pain that came with when Y/N called him his full name. She only did that when she was angry with him. He was always her Tommy. Yes, others called him that as well, but he was her Tommy. “I thought you`d at least come and say goodbye.” He murmured.

Y/N let out a sigh and shook her head, averting her gaze and crossing her arms. “If you`ve come here to drag up old shit, you can just leave.”

“What?” Tommy looked at her incredulously, his frame straightening up, back steeling at her hurtful words. “You think I wanted to go?”

She let out a sarcastic snort. “Well, you weren’t too eager to stay.”

“Well, you didn’t show up at all!” Tommy raised his voice, and instantly regretted it, as he saw a wall come up behind her gaze, Y/N taking a step back and bracing herself against the verbal blow.

“As I said.” Her voice was calm and emotionless. “You are more than welcome to leave if you have come here to berate me after all these years.”

“I – that’s not why I came here.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I came here to – I – Please.” He begged. She was the only person he’d ever plead for, but he didn’t know what he was begging for. For Y/N to let him in? To hug him? To give him a chance to come back in her life? “Please, I just need to know why?”

“I couldn`t,” she hissed, tears spilling past her eyes, finally showing some sort of sign his return was impacting her. “You wanted me to do what? Cheer you on as you stepped on that train? Wanted me to hug and kiss you before you went off? That would never have happened.” Those last words were spat with as much venom as possible.

“I thought we had something. I thought we meant something to one another.” Maybe he`d been wrong. Maybe the lingering gazes they`d shared meant something completely different to her, but when she said `we did` his heart broke even more. “So why didn’t you come?”

“I couldn’t stand on that platform and send you off to die!” Y/N exploded, four years of pent-up emotions rolling off her tongue in a stream. “Because know this, Tommy.” She pointed a finger at him. “I would`ve done everything to stop that train from leaving, even jumped in front of it, if I had to. I already had to watch my father leave. I wouldn’t have survived if I’d had to watch you do the same.”

He saw her shoulders drop, as if an invisible weight had finally come off of them, her chest stuttering as she took in a breath and finally looked him in the eye. “How could you have possibly expected me to go there and be alright with what was happening? To let my best friend go without lifting so much as a finger to prevent it.”

“It was the war. I couldn`t not go.”

“And had I gone there, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go.” Y/N let out an unamused laugh. “I know you`re tough, and can handle yourself, but how in the world were you expecting me to give you my blessing to go off and greet death like that? To not even die in your country but somewhere in the ditches in France? I couldn`t, so I didn`t.”

Tommy`s throat closed up, as he took a step closer. “You could`ve at least written to me, explained it, but you didn’t even do that.”

“I did write.” She whispered her defense, Y/E/C eyes shooting between his ice blue ones, a certain fear in them he couldn’t crack. “I just never sent them.”

“Why?” That was the question that`d been running through his mind for all those years, and a boulder had been lifted from his heart as he finally got the answers he so desperately had needed.

They were whispering now, as if raising their voices would somehow be inappropriate in that situation.

“Because I thought you hated me after I didn’t come to see you off. And I couldn’t bear to receive a response where you told me to stop writing, so I just kept them, thinking that maybe one day when I was old and you were old, I’d send them to you… or lay them at your grave, that way I had less of a chance of receiving a response.”

With that she ventured off into the small one-bedroom apartment, not even inviting Tommy in, already knowing he’d take the hint to enter as his boots thudded against the floor but not before closing the door to not let the cold air in. The apartment was freezing enough.

When she returned from her bedroom, in her hands was a thick wad of papers tied with a ribbon.

“Here.” She sniffled and cleaned her nose with the sleeve of her dress as she handed them to Tommy. “I don`t know if you still want them, really I don’t know why you’d want them, but uh – here.”

Carefully, as if it was the most precious diamond in the world, Tommy took them out of her hands, and as their fingers brushed against one another`s, it was like the dam that`d been raised between them shattered, and he took her by the wrist, pulling her body in his, their frames curing around one another like fire around a long.

“I could never hate you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, as Y/N buried her face in his chest, her grip on his waist tightening, as if she was afraid this was the goodbye they hadn’t had before the war. “You`re my girl, how in the world could I ever hate you?”

Tommy really couldn’t hate her, despite her being the one girl who`d truly and utterly broken his heart at one point, she`d also been the one to pick it back up and piece it together, as they mended one another not even a single scar on it, so when he kept looking at her sobbing form in the present, three years down the line they’d come back to one another, she was breaking it all over again.

“Who did this to you?” His voice was a deadly whisper as he stepped in his office, kneeling before her trying to pry her hands away from her face, thoughts of bloodshed already on his mind, as he placed his hand on Y/N`s thigh. She’d hate him if he went out on Christmas Eve on a rampage, but nobody dared to make her cry and get away unscathed. “Who hurt you?”

But Y/N was inconsolable, as she shook her head and fell forward, wrapping her arms around Tommy’s shoulders to bury her face in his neck.

For just a moment, he froze, mind short-circuiting as to what to do now, before his arms raised on their own accord, sliding under Y/N`s legs so he could pick her up and place himself on the lounge chair, her body now curled up in his.

He tried to ask what had happened and who`d done it, but she couldn’t speak properly, so he just held her, pressing kisses to her forehead, and holding onto her frame, as if his touch alone could keep her from falling apart.

“She killed him.” Y/N sniffled after a good ten minutes of crying, cheek against Tommy`s chest where his heart stopped for a moment.

It wasn’t like she didn’t know what he did for a living; she was well aware of the invisible amounts of blood on his hands, but the thought of his sweet, kind-hearted girl having to see death up-close like that made him rage full.

He never talked about his business dealings, nor what was going to happen in regards to settling things between him and his associates. If a `catch-up` with another gang was planned, he’d always make sure Y/N was safe and off the streets before anything went down. He never went to her injured or with a single speck of blood on him. She worried enough, and he didn’t dare add any more stress on her, especially knowing he’d be the cause of it.

She didn’t know it, but every time he thought he’d die, whether it was in the ditches in France or during a skirmish with some gangster, he’d think of her. If he had to go, the only person he`d lay his life for would be the girl with the bloodied knees he`d met by the lake.

“Who killed who, Y/N?” His palm ever so gently lifted her face up to him. It always surprised Tommy himself how gentle he could be, but it shouldn’t, at least not when it came to her. “I need a name. Who killed who?”

“Ma-Mary.” She swallowed harshly. “She killed Jack.”

Tommy`s brow furrowed. He didn`t know a Mary or a Jack that Y/N had in her life, let alone whose death would impact her so much. He made sure to be all up in her business (without her own knowledge, of course, otherwise she`d chew him a new hole to shit out of, if she found out), but it was at the top of his list to know who hung around Y/N. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her because he hadn’t done his research on a new person who’d entered her life.

And that’s when she pulled out a book from where it`d been pushed in the corner of the settee slapping it onto her knees.

“You – you’re – what?” For the first time in Tommy`s life he was absolutely speechless.

“She killed him off!” Y/N wailed again, throwing the book on the ground, the leather-bound pages landing with a loud thud. “She took a dagger and pushed it into his heart, which effectively pushed it into mine! I need you to find her.” A fire lit in Y/N`s eyes as she looked at Tommy, tears still slipping down her cheeks, which he brushed away with the pads of his thumbs. “I need you to find her and make her bring him back. I can’t go on like this. My heart just – it won’t hold!”

“You were crying because of a book?” Tommy finally managed to get out before running a hand through the hair at the top of his head. “Jesus fucking Christ Y/N, I thought something horrible had happened to you!”

“Something terrible has happened!” She countered, standing up from his lap. “That – that – bitch killed off my favorite character! And she had the nerve to kill the dog off too right on the next page! I need you to do something about it, Tommy.”

“I – I will,” Tommy said, biting down on his fist as he suppressed the laughter rising in his chest, as he watched her throw back her head in a groan. “Of course, I will. Anything my girl wants. I`ll have Arthur start tracking her down right now.”

Y/N nodded, having started to pace. “Good, good. But he needs to stay there and make sure she writes Jack back to life. I don’t trust her on her own. Look what happened last time!”

A smile had stretched across his lips now, and Tommy wasn’t even hiding it anymore as he rested his cheek on his fist, winter blue eye watching as she bit on her thumb.

“Sweetheart…” The word was laced with amusement, but she was quick to interrupt him.

“Don`t tell me I`m overreacting. I`ve lived with those characters for six years. Six books! I`ve dedicated hours to them, and then she just has the audacity to do something like that!”

Tommy`s heart swelled in his chest at that. She’d gone through so much heartbreak, even more than he had, he thought at times, yet Y/N so willingly and openly allowed herself to love and fall in love – fictional people or not, she gave them her all.

“I won`t.” Tommy shook his head, reaching out for her hand, which she easily slipped hers into. “It’s okay to feel betrayed after, as you said, six years of dedicating yourself to them. But maybe that’s what had to happen. Jack had served his purpose to the story, and he had to go.”

Y/N let out an offended gasp, pulling her hand away from his and pressing it to her chest, as if Tommy had been the one to stab it just like the author had done to Jack. “No he did not!” She stomped her foot. “How is Rose supposed to get her happily ever after now?”

He just tilted his head and looked at her, as a comfortable silence settled between the two while Y/N went over to pick up the offensive book from the ground before going back to Tommy.

“Adam said it`s stupid.” She huffed as she plopped next to him, fingers scratching at the leathery spine of it. “Said it`s absolutely idiotic I get attached to characters like that.”

Adam had been courting Y/N for a while, and it grated on Tommy`s nerves to no end. He understood that at one point she’d probably find someone, get married and start a life with them, hell, after he’d come back from the war, he was half-expecting she’d already have a bunch of kids and lived somewhere far away where he’d never be able to reach her, but when that hadn’t happened, he’d hoped that something would blossom between the two. His feelings definitely had, they`d already been there before he got shipped off, he just couldn’t get a proper read on Y/N and what went on in her head. Despite them reconnecting and their friendship being stronger than ever, she no longer told him about her crushes or what she hoped for the future, and it killed Tommy because he hated not knowing things especially when it came to the people most important to him in his life.

“Well, Adam is wrong.” Tommy cleared his throat, as he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into the warmth of his body. “I think it’s endearing because if you can love someone who doesn’t exist that much, the real people in your life who you care for should feel absolutely blessed.”

A gentle smile appeared on Y/N`s face as she pushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. “And people say you don’t have a heart.”

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. “I don`t. And given how it’s been yours since that day by the lake, I really hope to never get it back. Don’t know a safer place where it could be kept.”

Y/N let out a snort cupping his cheek. “And what happens when some girl will want to have it? How`ll you marry her if it`s with me?

“What? You’re saying you won’t marry me?” he said it in a joking tone, but underneath it hid actual fear and concern. Everything he did, he did for her, to make her life easier, better, with less worries or concerns. He tried to keep her as safe as possible, and despite her having a blazing target on her back because of her association with the Shelbys, nobody had yet dared to even harm a hair on her head, because everyone knew – she was Tommy`s girl, and there`d be hell to pay if something happened to her.

Y/N scoffed at him. “If that’s your version of a proposal, it’s a definite no. I hope when you do it for real it`ll be a lot more heartfelt. At least get on one knee before the girl.”

Tommy seemed to mull over her words before giving her a small nod. And then Y/N`s eyes widened while he slipped down onto the floor, kneeling on both knees before her, holding onto her hands as if his life depended on it.

“Like I said.” His heart was a freight train in his chest as he pressed a kiss to her palm. “My heart is yours. Always has been. And I want it to stay that way for as long as we’re both alive.”

“Tommy,” she breathed out, but he shook his head.

“Please let me say this. I`ve been carrying it around for so long, now that I`ve started, I can’t leave it unsaid.”

Y/N nodded mutely, as he took in a breath and continued. “It`s not stupid the way you fall for characters. You feel more for them than some people feel for their fellow peers. It`s admirable. It`s brave to love something like that so much. And you’ve taught me how to be brave as well. How to not shut everyone out. It’d be so easy to stay on my own, to not have to worry, but you`ve shown that the easy way out isn’t the best one. And I don’t want anything easy when it comes to you. I want all of it. Everything. The good, the bad, the ugly and beautiful, all of the tears,” he whispered and wiped away the new trails on her cheeks. “I want you.”

And then he pulled out a ring from his pocket, to add the cherry on top of it all.

A brutal sob ripped through Y/N`s chest as she pressed a palm to her mouth. “How long have you been carrying that around?”

“Since before the war,” his tone matched the shaky one of Y/N`s. “Took it with me to the station, was gonna ask you then, beg you to wear it and wait for me to come home. To become my home to come back to.”

“I`m sorry,” she whimpered through a choke and Tommy swore he couldn’t breathe, all the air punched out of his chest, as Y/N shook her head. “I`m so sorry I didn`t come that day. I should`ve.”

Relief flooded his veins in an instant as he took hold of Y/N`s wrist and pulled himself up, wrapping her in his arms, his mind having gone to the immediate worst option of her rejecting him instead of her regretting not seeing him that day. “Don`t be. Had I done it, it wouldn’t have been fair for you to wait for something that possibly wouldn’t have happened. But it can now… if you say yes.”

He wondered if it was possible to become more alive than he already was as Y/N whispered an “oh, Tommy” and then kissed him with everything she had in her, matching the power of his own reciprocated action.

This time he wasn’t gentle with her, his arms going around her waist, fingers digging in her hips for sure to leave blooming marks the next day, but neither of them cared, as Y/N tugged on his hair and raked her nails down his back. They`d waited for that moment for so long, they wanted to leave some sort of evidence behind on the other; it had actually happened and hadn’t been one of their dreams.

“We`ve kind of done it backwards though,” she breathed against his lips finally pulling back for some air after a good fifteen-minute make-out, her dress hiked around her waist, one of the garters snapped open with his strong grip kneading the inside of her thighs, while Tommy`s shirt was completely unbuttoned, the single one of his trousers undone as well, his leather shoes somewhere on the floor, chest to heaving chest, hips grinding against one another. “You`re supposed to ask me on a date, romance me and sweep me off my feet before proposing.”

“I don’t need to date you, to know you`re the one,” he mumbled before pecking her mouth, the other hand rubbing her waist as he sneakily untied the string that`d cinched it together. “Knew it when I found you crying by that lake, knew it when you kicked Polly in the shin as she cleaned the scrapes on your knees, knew it when you punched Lisa Jenkins from down the street when she was making fun of me after Ada gave me that horrible haircut when we were fifteen. I`ve always known it.”

“And what about me?” Y/N asked, toying with the lapels of his shirt, eyes tracing the tattoo on his chest before leaning forward to kiss it. “Maybe I need to date for a bit before marrying someone?”

That Tommy hadn’t thought of as he shrugged. “Then we can date for however long you want – a day, week, year, ten years if you need to. But you know where I stand. That whenever you’re ready I’m willing to drop before you any time of day.”

“Now that you’ve said that out loud, I don’t need any of that. Too long. Let’s get married.” Y/N nodded cupping his cheeks before pulling Tommy in a bruising kiss that left both of them gasping. “Right now. I think the courthouse is open until nine so we still have half an hour. I don’t want to wait any longer. We`ve done too much of that already.”

“Woah, no.” Tommy pulled back and shook his head. “First of all, Polly will have our heads if we do that, and Ada will help her.” Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes at that. “And despite the fact I`d be more than willing to marry you with paper rings, I wanna do it properly. Have you have your dream wedding.”

“My dream wedding would be with you by my side. `S all I need or want. Nothing else matters.”

Tommy pressed his forehead against hers and just reveled in the moment if only for a second. He got the girl. That’s all he`d ever wanted. For a long while he’d thought the last time, they’d seen one another, she`d left him on his own for good, never to return. But instead, she`d carried him in her heart all those years with the fear he would never come back to her.

“Tommy?” Her quiet voice brought him out from his thoughts, Y/E/C eyes staring up at him. “Take me to our bed?”

And how in the world was he supposed to refuse such a sweet request coming straight from the mouth of his would-be wife?

“You’re not.” A devilish smirk appeared on Y/N`s lips, as Tommy realized he’d said it out loud. “And you should do well to do as I say. Will make your life as a husband easier.”

Rough hands grabbed her now bared thighs her stockings rolled past her knees as he hoisted her up, her arms around his shoulders, fingers twining in his hair. There were small scars left on them from when she’d fallen on the ice. He loved those scars more than anything.

“Whatever you say, wife.”

Even while he took her upstairs, throughout the night and into the late morning he didn’t stop whispering `I love you` into her ears, skin, and against her mouth as they lost themselves in one another. How could he, when she so sweetly called him hers?

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh@breezy1415 @thatawkwardlittlefangirl@sea040561@staryeyedgirl@deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns@averyrogers83@in-the-end-im-still-trash@gallifreyansass@dewy-biitch@avxgers@unlikelygalaxygiver@magicwithaknife@ollyoxenfrees@bnhvrdy@tvwhoresblog@thatkindofgurl@sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue@im-squished@strangersstranger

Thomas Shelby tags: @datewithgianni​@captivatedbycillianmurphy​@screemqueen​

A/N: I have now seen Spiderman twice… Boy oh boy do I have ideas for fics, but in the meantime, Thomas Shelby has overtaken my life. No thoughts, head empty except for that fine ass man (I think I’ll start watching the show tomorrow) 

Happy Holidays everyone :)

Synopsis: They say Thomas Shelby has become soft because of her. And maybe he has, he just has no idea yet why. (Sort of an AU)

*Part 2(ish) - both can be read as stand-alones though Wrath (one-shot)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff/ a bit of angst

Warnings:Swearing, spicy convos, but nothing explicit, blood, guns

Word count:4189

She heard it constantly around them. 

“That girl has turned Thomas Shelby soft,” the voices whispered behind their backs whether at a charity event or simply strolling down the street. They never dared to do it while he was in earshot of them, but it didn’t make it any better, as rumours still liked to fly.  

In Y/N’s mind, it was actually quite the opposite. Yes, Tommy was soft with her, but he’d also become more ruthless than ever. No one would ever dare even breathe the wrong way at Y/N, because if Tommy even had a whiff of something like that, their only company for the rest of their lives would be the fishes living at the bottom of a river.  

Yet it hadn’t always been like that. 

In the beginning, Y/N had simply been a woman coming up in society and in the need of someone with money, while Tommy had still been wallowing in self-pity after it had turned out Grace had been lying and betraying him the whole time while he shared a bed with her. So when Y/N had come to him with a proposition, he jumped on it, in need of showing that no one could ever wound Tommy Shelby so bad he couldn’t recover.  

It was a marriage of mutual benefit – Y/N wanted to be a writer, but no publisher would accept her manuscript under a female name, and she adamantly refused to use a male pen-name, so while negotiating, Tommy agreed to sponsor her endeavours as a writer, agreed to help her publish her stories, if she after becoming Mrs Shelby would be the ever-great actress and help him rebuild his reputation. And it also didn’t hurt that despite her constant rejections of publishers, she still had connections in high places where she could easily slip him needed information so all his operations ran smoothly.  

The wedding had been a grand affair, and very much so for the show of others than the emotional bond of the bride and groom. Had it been up to Tommy and Y/N, it would’ve been a quiet union just between the two of them, but they had to show they were powerful together and would remain so in everyone’s eyes.  

Tommy’s family had been very wary about Y/N with good reason, but as they got to know her, and realized their relative was in it for just as selfish reasons as she was, yet Y/N had no problems with helping them out by passing on information from the coppers and such, they warmed up to her. Didn’t open up, but didn’t ice her out either.  

The wedding passed by relatively fine and without a hitch, and as Tommy’s brothers whistled while they stepped in the car to go on their ‘honeymoon’, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at their antics.  

But that night they hadn’t laid together. Tommy hadn’t pushed himself on her, rather poured both of them glasses – whiskey for him and gin and tonic with a slice of lime for her – and then they talked the whole night away. Meaningless turned into deep and thoughtful topics, through which Y/N realized Tommy was a lot more of a complex person than he let on, while he saw a spark of something wild hiding underneath the usually calm and collected surface. They spoke until the sun rose, and understood that they might not love one another, but when they’d entered their agreement, now sealed with the union, it had been done based on mutual respect. 

Tommy did soon find out that that spark was something more, and wanted to book an appointment with a dentist as quickly as possible because good god if he wouldn’t stop grinding his teeth whenever Y/N did or said something in public as someone berated her or tried to ‘put her in her place’, he’d soon be eating nothing but porridge.  

She didn’t know how to hold her words behind her teeth, she didn’t know how to back down from an argument or a fight, and always put her nose in “men’s business”, which surprisingly didn’t grate on Tommy as much as he thought it would, rather what came after – his “associates” always told him she had him by the balls, to control his wife and teach her how to respect men. It was eating away at him not only because his reputation was starting to hurt, and he’d married her for the opposite reason, but also because Y/N’s ideas often were sounder and would bring larger profit than that of the men who spoke. 

And he shouldn’t have been that surprised that it would end up being her inability to shut up and the stubbornness that coursed through her veins, that’d get herself in the situation she was in at that moment.  

Y/N would admit that, Tommy knew, but she would do it with a roll of her eyes and an annoyed huff, but he also knew some fault was on him. They’d been at a charity event, her body covered in a deep ruby red dress, matching the handkerchief in his suit’s pocket when one of Changretta’s men had approached him and started to deal passive-aggressive blows. 

Throughout the ‘polite’ conversation, the grip on his wife’s waist started to tighten and tighten, and it wasn’t long before he snapped, dealing a verbal blow to the man, soon followed by Y/N’s venomous hiss, and that’s when the look in Changretta’s eyes shifted, a sickening feeling dropping in Tommy’s stomach as all the rage and anger went towards his wife. 

It all happened too quickly, and Tommy hated for being so caught off guard, but in a matter of seconds, the Changretta’s man’s sleazy hands were in her hair and a gun was pressed to her side.  

“You should teach your bitch how to stay in her place, but maybe she’ll let her loose tongue be put to good use and give me what I want, huh, sweetheart?” he sneered, and it made Y/N wince as his grip in her hair tightened, pulling at what once was a meticulously pinned up-do, the rancid breath of alcohol mixed with shrimp wafting over her nose. She hadn’t been too fond of Tommy’s lingering aroma of cigarettes and whiskey in the beginning, but now she associated the scent with comfort. With safety. With respect and someone who’d come to her aid as he had at that moment, his gun and his brothers’ trained towards the idiot who’d decided to use Y/N as bait for information of some hidden guns.  

But as Y/N held her mouth shut for once in her life, much to Tommy’s dismay, he saw something shift in her Y/E/C eyes as they finally settled on him rather than looking at the ceiling with the most done expression ever. 

He’d gotten used to those Y/E/C eyes. He’d gotten used to seeing them leaning over him while he had one of his nightmares, he’d gotten used to the anger that flashed whenever someone tried to diminish her whether because of her age, seeing as she was more than a decade younger than him, and people considered her naïve and foolish, or because of her gender as she broke every barrier that’d been set by the society. Those Y/E/C eyes had become a staple in his life, and much to his own shock, he yearned to see them every day. 

“Fine,” the Changretta guy sneered, bringing Tommy out from his daze, and into the horrible reality of watching how he tightened the grip he had on his wife as he leaned closer to her ear. When she visibly shuddered in disgust, Tommy wanted to press the trigger and put a bullet in the man’s head but his wife’s head was way too close to risk it. “Any last words, princess?” 

“Tommy.” Her voice was thick as she swallowed looking into his own ice blue eyes. “I know that sometimes what I do and say, especially without thinking grates on you, so I sincerely hope you don’t hate me after this because I’ve thought this through as much as possible.” 

He didn’t even get a chance to ask what the fuck she was talking about when her heel covered foot came smashing down on the man’s, making him loosen his grip, as she swung her head back against his nose, the sickening sound of bone crunching behind her.

The grip on her hair was no longer there, and it allowed Y/N to twist underneath him before dealing a swift blow to his throat, and although Tommy was in awe of her, and in different circumstances, it would’ve been an admirable action as a punch like that would level any man, in this case, the Changretta’s man’s body seized up as he stumbled back, and his finger pulled the trigger.  

***
When the gun went off, Tommy saw a flash of white, his breath got stuck in his throat and it took him a second to gather his bearings, when he saw Y/N flinch, and he swore his whole life flashed before his eyes. 

When her scream of shock and pain echoed around him as her body hit the ground more from the force of the shot than anything, Tommy was ready to burn the world down starting with Changretta and everyone he loved.  

His world broke as he rushed towards her, all the meticulously put together pieces of the puzzle shattered, as reality crashed in; his wife on the floor groaning and clutching her shoulder where blood had started to stain the floor and pool around her, the colour so close to that of her dress it almost seemed like an odd train she was laying on.  

From the peripheral, he could see his brothers dragging the man away, and one look at John told him to leave him alive. He wanted to deal his own judgement.  
Y/N’s whimper snapped him back into the moment, and Tommy choked on his breath. 

He’d seen blood, he’d been covered in it, practically bathed in invisible amounts of it every day, but this time it was different. 

“You,-” His breath got stuck in his throat as he dropped to his knees, hands trembling as they hovered over her. His hands never trembled. “You’re okay,” he said, more so to himself not Y/N, but she just groaned.  

“Of course, I’m not okay!” she hissed and stomped her foot on the ground as Tommy applied pressure to the wound, scarlet spilling between his fingers. “I just got fucking shot! How the fuck am I okay?!” 

But he wasn’t listening, just kept muttering, “you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” as he shrugged off his jacket and tied the two sleeves around Y/N’s shoulder in a tight knot. She gasped at the pain as he lifted her up in his arms and levelled her forehead against his chest. 

The whole way as he rushed to the parked Bentley he never took his eyes from her body to make sure she was alive, but Y/N made it very clear she was very much awake as explicit words flew from her mouth with every step he took.  

Usually, he preferred not to go to the hospitals, too many people around to witness things and spread information, but he wasn’t going to risk it with Y/N, as Arthur barreled down the streets before pulling up right in front of the doors.  

An angry nurse rushed out ready to chew their heads off seeing as only ambulances were allowed to stand there, but when Tommy exited with a blood-covered Y/N, the tone changed in the snap of a finger as they rushed her inside and immediately wheeled her away for surgery. 

To Tommy’s chagrin, no amount of threatening would make the nurse budge and let him be in the operating room. 

“I could have your whole family killed,” he sneered, running a hand through his hair. “You will let me inside there.” 

But she just squinted at him. “The only thing I will let you is shut up and sit down in the waiting room. If you don’t stop your tantrum, you’re more than welcome to wait outside.” 

And that was it. He couldn’t do anything but comply as she went away to check on other patients, Tommy was left alone to slide down the wall, head against his knees as he waited and waited and waited for any news on Y/N. 

By the time she was stitched up, he’d dozed off and found himself being shaken awake by Polly, a blanket draped over his shoulders. 

“Where is she?” he slurred, staggering up against the wall and grabbing his aunt by her biceps. “Is she alright?” 

“She’s fine.” Polly placed a hand on his cheek before giving him a bundle of clothes. “You’ll go change, and then I’ll take you to her room.” 

“I don’t have time to change, I need to see my wife.” 

Polly’s eye-roll was as royal as Y/N’s usually were. He wondered if when they’d share tea on Friday evenings, they compared the better techniques of how to accomplish a better one. “You will get changed because you’re covered in blood. Y/N doesn’t need to see you like that, so go. I’ll be here, and she isn’t going anywhere.” 

For a moment they held one another’s gazes like a bull and its matador before Tommy gave in and rushed to the men’s bathroom to quickly wipe himself down with some moist toilet paper and shrugged on the clean clothes. When he looked in the mirror, he wondered if Polly had really done it for Y/N’s sake or his, as the thought of her blood on his hands made bile rise in his throat. 

Once he was finished, Polly was there as promised and quickly lead him to a secluded room where he found Y/N’s sleeping body.  

They’d washed her face and taken her hair out from the up-do, now put in a simple braid, while her body was covered in a white hospital gown, the layers of gauze where she’d been pierced by the bullet visible as her left arm had been wrapped to her stomach to limit movement.  

The shot hadn’t been fatal, the doctor informed him. A through and through of the left shoulder, and all of that would’ve been well, had it not been during the second night of their stay when Tommy snapped awake to Y/N’s moans, her face covered in sweat and body shuddering. 

Instantly he rushed out to find a nurse who quickly took her temperature. 

An infection had spread, and when he was pushed out of the room by another nurse as a doctor rushed in, vials and syringes in hand, something crystalized in Tommy’s mind. That incredible fear he’d felt when he’d seen Y/N bleeding under him, while she’d looked at him with annoyance and frustration was something he thought he’d never feel again after Grace; he thought the snitch had taken all of it with her when the truth had come out. 

Love. He was in love. What had started as a business transaction of mutual benefit, had somehow morphed into mind-numbing love that now coursed through Tommy’s veins. All the things he’d wanted with Grace before – a family, a house somewhere far away from everything, with nights spent curled up with one another while a fire crackled in the hearth – he’d never wanted with Y/N, not until the moment that option had been seemingly ripped away.  

Now all he could see, as he sat vigil by her bed day and night, were the ghostly apparitions of their would-be future had he not been what he was – a little girl swinging her legs on the edge of Y/N’s bed, his piercing blue eyes combined with soft Y/H/C hair, the lovely slope of her wife’s nose and his high cheekbones making up her face. A perfect little copy of the two, as if one night they’d stood in front of a mirror and their reflections had melted together. And then the apparition looked at him, accusation in her eyes – what gives you the right to be sitting there with barely scraped knuckled, while she is on that bed? She wouldn’t be there if not for you and your ways. 

Tommy shook his head, averting his gaze as if trying to shake the ghost away, leaning his head against her free hand he’d kept clutched in his for days on end as doctors and nursed cleaned and rewrapped her wound, put antibiotics in her drip and monitored her breathing and heartbeat.  

“You can’t leave me,” he mumbled under his breath, tone as if he was experiencing a feverish hallucination or more a sleep-deprived one. “You can’t leave me. I forbid it, ya hear me? Forbid it. You’re ma wife, and I refuse to let you die; you have no rights to die, and if you do, I’ll follow you and drag you back here, ya listening? I mean every word – you are not allowed to die!” 

He was ranting like a madman and had it not been for a huff filled with exasperation escaping Y/N’s lips he would’ve continued, but then she mumbled “Bold of you to assume I’ll listen to any shit you tell me to do,” and Tommy swore he passed out. 

The relief which flushed through his body made him lightheaded, and normally when Y/N would say something like that, Tommy would just clench his teeth and sigh, but just at the sound of her voice – trembling, gravelly, exhausted voice – he was laughing, taking in deep breaths to have his brain come back to normal. She was awake, and despite her words, she’d done what he said for the first time in her life. She hadn’t left. 

It didn’t come easy for him to say the words, but they were true, and if he held onto any sort of principle, it was never to lie to Y/N. Withhold information maybe, but never lie.

“I was so scared you were gonna die.” The words were quiet, barely a whisper as Tommy kept his eyes on her.  

Y/N snorted and shook her head. “I’d burn hell down if I let a stupid infection be the thing that took me out. I’m a Shelby. If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be with guns blazing not because of a dirty scalpel or unwashed hands. Besides I need to have a word with the asshole that started the whole thing, so can’t die before I’ve given him a piece of my mind. Unless…” 

But Tommy shook his head at her inquiring gaze. “We’re keeping him in a warehouse. Told John to make sure the bastard is alive when I come for him, but seeing as I haven’t left the place, haven’t had the chance to.” 

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked Tommy up and down. “How long haven’t you slept?” 

“Fuck if I know.” He shrugged. “Close to six days?” 

“Fucking shit, Tommy!” Y/N scolded him and threw her head back into the pillow. She missed the plush one she had at Arrow House. “I need to focus on healing, not making sure your idiotic ass doesn’t drop dead from sleep deprivation.” 

“I couldn’t,” he stressed, squeezing her palm, a new note in his voice, one neither had heard before coming from him. “I couldn’t leave. I had to make sure you were breathing. What if I fell asleep and you stopped, and I didn’t notice? Didn’t get a doc or a nurse here in time? What then?” 

Y/N was stunned at his words, at the raw emotion in them as if he had been absolutely petrified at the thought of her dying. “What happened to this being a marriage only in name?” She whispered as it was true – they’d never even had sex and the only time they’d kissed was at the wedding. From her point of view, they were more coworkers than anything.  

“What happened is you weaselled your way into my heart.” He gave her a pained smile. “You dug those manicured nails into the walls I’d built, and then you simply destroyed them. And now, because of what you’ve done, the only thing that would destroy me is losing you. And I can’t… I can’t have that.” 

Y/N’s eyes softened as her lips curled into a gentle smile, her hand cupping Tommy’s cheek, and he practically melted, placing his own palm over hers so she couldn’t take it away. “Well, I guess it’s good to know it only takes me almost dying for you to admit it.” 

Tommy chuckled as a new wave of relief flooded his veins as she hadn’t rejected him. “I know you’re just itching to call me an idiot, so go for it.” 

“Oh, you’re more than just an idiot.” Y/N snorted. “But I’ll refrain myself from that pleasure. You look bad enough, and I don’t need to hurt your ego more. Lord knows the one’s with the biggest ones, have them the most fragile.” 

A cheeky smirk appeared on his face, something Y/N had grown to love in secret and revelled in the fact she no longer had to keep it that way. “Mine might be massive, but it’s hard as a rock.” 

And there it was – that eye-roll he’d been missing and feared would never see again before she took her hand away from his face and started to shimmy to the side.  

“What the fuck are you doing?!” he scolded her watching as she winced in pain, but not letting the opportunity to roll her eyes once again at him pass her by.  
“You need sleep,” she huffed, finally on the edge of the already small bed. “And I need to know you’ll actually sleep not pretend to do so. So, you’re going to get in this bed, and do as I say.” 

Tommy chuckled, raising his hands in defeat before he toed off his shoes and slid next to her. “Doctor’s orders?” 

“My orders.” 

“Then I can’t disobey, can I?” 

“Not unless you want me to cut off that ego, no you can’t,” Y/N grumbled as Tommy laid down, one hand going under her pillow to pull her closer, motions done with the utmost care to not hurt her even more.  

“Y/N, I-,” He swallowed before closing his eyes for a moment and then opened them. “I love you. And I will never be able to say how sorry I am for all of this. I just – I just need you to know. To have you hear it from my own mouth.” 

The silence that settled at that moment was absolutely terrifying. She hadn’t rejected him when he’d revealed his true feelings, but now he’d said the actual words, had said the three words which meant the world to him, and that scared him shitless, but he shouldn’t have been as the smile that erupted on her face made him choke on a breath and he didn’t even protest when she practically launched herself at him to press her mouth against his in a feverish kiss.  

It was the first true kiss they’d shared, in Tommy’s mind, not just as a husband and wife, but as a whole, as two people who had vowed to devote themselves to one another, and he never wanted it to end. 

Y/N’s pressing need for air made her pull back, but he didn’t let her get too far away forehead pressed together as they enjoyed their newfound relationship, but Tommy just couldn’t leave it like that. “I heard you one night,” he murmured, his lips skimming hers. “Heard you playing with yourself and moaning my na-,” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Tommy,” she shoved at him, almost pushing him out of the bed, but still too weak to do any damage. He almost wished she could as it’d mean her strength was coming back, but he eased himself from the thought. Little by little; she’d get there. “Way to ruin a fucking moment.” 

Tommy just chuckled, nuzzling his face against her neck. “Wanna know a secret?” 

“No.” She looked at him with a pout on her lips which he affectionately pecked. “Definitely not.” 

Tommy shrugged. “I’ll tell you anyway – that night, I touched myself as well. And all I had on my mind was how you’d look underneath me.” 

For a second, Y/N held his eyes and then a wicked smile emerged on her lips. “Funny. That night I was thinking of how you would look underneath me.” 

Tommy hummed before kissing her again. He couldn’t get enough. “You. Just you, I’d let be on top.” 

Y/N’s tongue snaked into his mouth, and if she wasn’t still injured and in a hospital bed Tommy would’ve ripped her clothes off in a second. “I think I’ll let you live with the illusion you’d have a choice in that for just a little while longer.” 

Yeah, Tommy might be soft with her, but if anyone tried to mess with Y/N, he’d show just what kind of justice he can serve. The Changretta’s man would attest to that. That was if he could speak after the Shelby couple was done with him.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

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A/N: I saw Cillian Murphy in a dream once this week, and now I’m an absolute simp. Please also note, I haven’t actually seen Peaky Blinders, so most of this is going by what I’ve read. But my god, do I HAVE to watch the show now.

Sorry for the wait. Sorry this is reeeaaally short. Mostly consist of Ada. Part 4 will come later tonight! | Part 1  |  Part 2

With an aura of mystery surrounding your death, you had become a myth of some sort in the whole of Birmingham and beyond. Every wife of every gangster and politician uttered condolences with a hint of fear in wake of the news. Wives- mothers- were untouchable in the business of ilegal biddings and violent men; yet, you had perished, leaving a body that was rumored to not be yours and a trace of letters that had no address or clues of your whereabouts. 

Ada Shelby, your sister in law and friend, had taken it upon herself to gather every book on cryptic messages used by spies and forensic detectives to decode any clues hidden amongst your passive letters. She studied every letter, every number, every single curvature that your shaky handwriting provided in hopes of interpreting your cries for help. You were smart- smarter than most, and Ada knew that. Even in death you would negotiate a better deal for yourself.

It was half past midnight when Ada slipped a bit of rum to her third cuppa that she noticed subtle clues in the second letter. For a woman that avoided Church as much as the devil itself, you made far too many biblical allusions. “To indulge in the garden of all things forbidden provided by our Lord. Oh Arthur!”

Her brows furrowed and mouth parted in a silent squeal. Ada tripped over her own feet, spilled the rum and tea that had already gotten cold, and raced to the telephone in sweaty haste.

One ring

Two rings

“This better be good Ada, do y-”

“She’s in London. The Eden Club.”