author’s note: martha doesn’t exist here, so katie is the reader’s daughter. thought I’d let you know :)
“Promise me you will stay calm.”, John said to you while he walked inside your house, stopping right in front of you, his hands held up in a way of defence.
“What did you do this time?”, you questioned, your eyes wide open while you looked him up and down, trying to find out if there was anything wrong with him, hoping that he wasn’t hurt.
John noticed the way you were watching him hence he put his arms down and took your hands in his, pulling you even closer to him.
“Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with me. Katie has just -”
“Katie has just what, John? What has she done? What happened?”, you asked, getting more nervous by the second as you held his hands even tighter. Your husband quickly pulled his hands away, shaking away the pain before he put them on your shoulders, trying to calm you down.
“It’s nothing serious. She just had a little fight at school. That’s all.”
Your eyes were wide open, even wider than before as you looked into his blue eyes, a shocked expression gracing your face.
“A little fight? Are you serious? A little fight or a big fight, it doesn’t matter. She shouldn’t be fighting at all!”, you stated loudly, already stepping away from John to search for your purse.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, what does it look like? I will go to her school now and ask her teacher what happened.”
As soon as you found your purse, you turned around and started walking towards the front door however you didn’t get far. John pulled you back, not wanting you to leave right now.
“I already talked to her teacher and don’t worry, I talked to our daughter as well.”, he stated, already knowing what you were about to say.
“She knows that what she did was wrong and she won’t be doing it again … hopefully. But, love, who can blame her? She has your temper and my will to fight.”
You instantly punched his arm before playfully pushing him away from you and although you wanted to be mad at him, you couldn’t. You knew that he was right.
“Next time, I will talk to the teacher. And I hope Katie doesn’t think she already got away with it. Once she walks through that door, I will give her a piece of my mind.”, you stated, pressing a quick kiss on your husband’s lips before you turned around and started walking towards the kitchen.
John couldn’t help but chuckle as he lightly caressed the spot where you punched him. He already knew that Katie will be exactly like you in the future, maybe she already was.
You grew up with the Shelby family after your father’s death. He worked for the Shelby’s and when he was murdered by an enemy, Polly took you under her wing.
Through your teenage years, you were especially close to Ada and you two confided in each other about every little thing. This doesn’t change as you get older.
You and Ada are best friends and she is the first one who clocks onto you and John hiding feelings for one another.
“Just tell him, Y/N!”
“I can’t, Ada, there’s no way he feels the same!”
“That’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard. He looks at you like you hung the bloody stars!”
You spent a lot of time with John as a teen, getting into trouble, drinking and smoking, running rings around Polly and running wild around Small Heath.
Polly bollocked John about it to no end and expressed her disappointment in you too, but you two just couldn’t stay away from each other. There was nobody else in the world that made you feel like the weight of the world had been lifted from your shoulders the way he could - he made you feel genuinely happy.
On your 18th birthday in the summer, John steals a bottle of whiskey and you both get drunk out in the fields watching the stars and talking about anything and everything.
You rode out there on horseback but since you were too drunk to ride back, you end up falling asleep under the stars curled up next to John.
When you wake early the next morning, the sheer magnitude of your feelings for him hits you like a freight train.
He wakes up shortly after you and when he sees you propped up on one arm staring at him with a particular twinkle in your eye, he wastes no time in kissing you. You both laugh about how hungover you feel and how it was probably the worst first kiss ever, and then you both panic about the beating you’re both going to receive from Polly when you get home.
It doesn’t take long for John to propose after that, and you don’t hesitate in saying yes.
Polly acts like she’s annoyed about it but deep down she couldn’t be happier for the two of you; part of her hopes that you’ll be able to reign him in a little bit.
Of course this doesn’t happen since the two of you are just as fiery as each other.
Your wedding night is a wild one, that’s for sure. It’s surprising that anyone even remembers it the next morning.
You, Arthur, John and Michael are the worst, it’s actually quite funny to watch.
You literally go off the rails.
Consecrating the marriage is amazing, to say the very fucking least. John treats you like royalty up until you tell him not to…
“I won’t break, you know. You can be a little rougher than that.”
He doesn’t need you to say anymore than that.
Even after being married for some time, you and John are still loved up.
You’re always holding hands at family meetings.
You sit in his lap whenever you get the chance.
Anyone would think you were still teenagers.
You literally cannot keep your hands off each other.
Sometimes you steal his hat and wear it which he thinks is the cutest damn thing ever.
And the sex… well.
You ‘christen’ every room in your house. Hell, you ‘christen’ every surface.
He’s always murmuring crude comments in your ear at inappropriate times because he loves watching you squirm.
When you eventually have children, they are just as wild as their mum and dad. Polly never misses the opportunity to let you know that you only have yourselves to blame for producing such raucous children.
He loves watching you be a mother to his children.
You like to argue about who the fun parent is, but it’s definitely John.
You’re always knocking Tommy down a peg or two, which he actually really respects. He thinks you’re just what his brother needs, and he’s right.
You and Arthur are cut from the same cloth, and when you get together it’s a given that there’s going to be trouble. Nights at the Garrison with him almost always end in a wicked hangover because you’re constantly trying to out-drink one another.
You understand the nature of John’s work but it does get lonely sometimes when he’s always away or coming home late.
But he never fails to make it up to you.
He spoils you incessantly - jewellery, books, fancy dinners, expensive champagne… anything you want. Name it and it’s yours.
Being married to John is literally a dream.
There’s never a dull moment.
There’s never any room for doubt where his love for you is concerned because he tells you whenever he gets the chance.
: You learn that John was actually the one behind one of the best birthday presents you’ve ever received, which leads to a sudden revelation…
:1708
:Swearing
It might have been the booze, or maybe you were simply drunk on life, but you could honestly say that you were happier in this moment than you had been in a long time. Longer than you could even remember, in fact. You told Ada so as you downed what could have been your fourth or fifth Scotch whiskey, beaming underneath the warm lights of the Garrison.
“It’s been a weird couple of years,” You said. “But it finally feels like things are returning to some semblance of normal.” Ada snorted. “Normal? When is anything ever normal around here? We’ll see how long it lasts.” You rolled your eyes. “You’re always so bloody pessimistic. Honestly Ada, why are you always looking gift horses in the mouth?” “Maybe because I know my brothers, and I know that nothing good ever stays that way where they’re concerned.” “You can say that again.” A very drunk Polly retorted, sidling up next to the two of you at the bar. You glanced at her, taking in her dishevelled appearance and the way she was swaying on her feet. “How much have you had to drink, Polls?” She held her head high, nose in the air. “None of your concern.” You spotted Tommy across the pub and he gestured you over. “Ada, make sure Polly stays on her feet.” “You know I will, Y/N.”
You couldn’t remember life before the Shelby family, and you likely wouldn’t remember a life after them because you knew there wouldn’t be one. The Shelby’s were your life - your kin - and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You had never known another mother aside from Polly since your own had died in childbirth, and your father - who had worked for the Shelby’s towards the end of his life - had been killed in an entanglement with an ‘enemy,’ as Polly had explained. Since the age of thirteen you had grown up in close quarters with Tommy, Arthur, John and Ada under Polly’s diligent care and while it had been an unusual childhood, you wouldn’t be who you were without it. Now, at the age of twenty nine, you lived in your own house (a birthday gift from Tommy) and spent most of your days helping Polly with the books when you weren’t writing your own. Words flowed steadily through your blood to your heart and kept you alive; you were in the process of publishing your first novel.
Tommy and John were sitting together in a booth by the front doors watching the grand reopening and taking it all in. They usually kept to a private room while at the Garrison, but right now they wanted to see their success materialising right in front of them. Drink in hand, you took the seat next to Tommy and followed his line of sight.
“Brilliant turnout,” You remarked. “But it’s very…” “Gold?” Tommy inquired, the ghost of a smirk on his face. “That’s one word for it…” John burst out laughing. “Fuckin’ awful, ain’t it?” You downed your whiskey. “I might’ve gone with a different colour scheme,” You snickered. “But it looks great.”
Tommy pulled his packet of cigarettes and a box of matches out of his inside pocket and offered you one. You gladly accepted and let him light it for you before he did the same. John was smoking a large cigar, regal as ever as he leaned back in his chair like he didn’t give a fuck - because he didn’t. Your stomach lurched when he caught you staring and responded with a wink. Ever since you were teenagers, you’d had a soft spot for John Shelby; if it wasn’t for the fact that Polly had forbidden any of her nephews from pursuing you romantically and your embarrassing lack of guts, you would have pounced on the opportunity to be with a man like John. There had never been anyone else for you and you highly doubted there ever would be, but it didn’t matter because it didn’t seem as though he reciprocated your feelings. Besides, Polly would never go for it. She’d have John’s head on a spike before she let him anywhere near you - in that way, at least.
“How’s the writing coming along?” Tommy asked. “Don’t even talk to me about that,” You huffed. “Writer’s block is going to be the death of me.” John frowned. “Thought you’d finished writing your book?” “The first one, yes,” You explained. “Need to chase up the publishers, actually.” Tommy raised a brow. “Need me to have a word?” You appreciated the Shelby’s help - all of it, no matter what it was in regard to - but this was something that you wanted to do on your own. “No, it’s okay. Thank you though.” “So if you’ve finished the book, what’s the problem?” John pressed. “Well, I want to write another one, but I’m stuck for ideas.” “You could write about us,” John grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. “Bet you’d sell thousands of copies. Millions, even. You can put my picture on the cover.” You took a long drag of your cigarette. “Why would anyone want your ugly mug on their bookshelves?” “Oh, Y/N,” John exclaimed dramatically. “You wound me!” “It’s a good idea though,” You said. “Writing about you lot, I mean.” “Really?” “Don’t sound so surprised,” You laughed. “You do occasionally come up with some decent ideas, John.” Tommy stared at you. “That’s gotta be a joke.” “Piss off, Tom.” You smiled at John. “Maybe I’ll do it. Maybe I’ll write a book about growing up with the Peaky Blinders.” Tommy finished his drink before standing up. “As long as you split the royalties.” And with that, he was gone, off to talk to some guests. John took Tommy’s seat next to you. “You wouldn’t ‘ave to, really. He’s just taking the mick.” “I know,” You grinned. “But he did buy me a house, so maybe I’d give him some of the credit.”
You and John were quiet for a long time, just enjoying each other’s company while people watching. Polly was dancing with a fellow that looked to be at least fifteen years younger than her, so Ada clearly hadn’t done a very good job watching her. You understood why she was off the rails tonight and you felt sympathetic for the woman who had practically raised you; finding out your son was alive and well but not being allowed to see him must have been a particularly agonising kind of torture, but you understood why Tommy was keeping the address from her. There were so many ways it could all go wrong. Your thoughts were with Polly while you nursed your next drink, and when John finally broke the comfortable silence, you had to ask him to repeat himself since your mind had been elsewhere.
“I said, Tommy never bought you that house.” “What?” “You really need me to say it again?” You had no idea what he was talking about. “What do you mean, Tommy didn’t buy me the house?” “Well, he sorted out all the paperwork and all that, but I picked it. And it was my idea.” You recoiled. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He shrugged. “Dunno. Just seemed right that it should come from Tommy.” “But it wasn’t,” You felt strangely emotional upon hearing all of this. “It was from you. Thomas shouldn’t get the credit for everything, you know.”
John smiled sadly and you had to swallow the large lump that had formed in the base of your throat. When he looked at you like that with his wide, blue eyes it took everything in you not to lean over and kiss the man senseless. As much as you hated it, you understood where he was coming from; Tommy was the face of the company and the Shelby family overall. It had always been that way and it didn’t look like it would ever change.
But he didn’t deserve to get the credit for this.
“I love my house,” You muttered. “It’s perfect for me. Down to the bloody door frames.” “I knew you would. That’s why I picked it. Who do you think got the bookshelves stocked? And put the typewriter on the desk?”
That did it. You stubbed out your cigarette and grabbed John’s hand, dragging him outside rather forcefully. The noise from the pub faded to a dull murmur as the door closed behind you both, and you realised suddenly that you were still holding John’s hand.
“Y/N, what-” “Thank you,” You said sincerely. “John, thank you.” “It’s only a house. But you’re welcome.”
He didn’t understand what it meant to you. You never thought that you would have a place to call your own, especially not after the deaths of your parents. And he certainly didn’t understand that it meant even more now that you knew it had come from him, so you told him all of this as best you could.
You were rather flustered by the time you finished explaining, and embarrassed to say the least. “Jesus, I’m supposed to be a writer but I can’t even get my fucking words out.” “Y/N, just shut up, will you?”
With a defeated sigh, you dropped his hand and turned to go back inside the pub, but he reached out and grabbed your wrist to pull you closer to him. Your heart dropped into your stomach when you realised just how close the two of you actually were, and when he leant in you could have sworn that you’d stopped breathing.
“Stop thanking me, Y/N. I did it because you deserve it,” He swallowed. “Because I love you.” “What?” “You ‘eard me,“ He smirked. “I love you.” He pressed his lips to yours and after the initial shock had subsided, you relaxed into the kiss, looping your arms around his neck. “I love you too,” You murmured against his lips. “So much.”
He was looking at you like you were the only person left in Small Heath, like you were the only thing that mattered. But of course he had to go and make a ridiculous comment.
“Since the cat’s out of the bag, can I move into my house now?”
Summary: Thomas believes his sister is a blessed woman, never faced war nor the destruction of France, but one day they find out what their sister was up to in 1916.
The words were driving her crazy and burned deep into her skin. Tears veiled her vision, but didn’t slide down her cheeks. Y/N was strong, stronger than the brothers thought, perhaps even stronger than the men together who had found a place around the table on the sofa of dark leather.
Words echoed over and over and the secret almost escaped her lips, but Y/N remained strong, not wanting to be pitied or respected for what she had done as dark messages spread over all lands and drowned golden years. The name of the country which had scarred the hearts echoed hundreds of times, rippling old wounds open and making hatred and tears flow in dark chambers.
No more blood dripped and stained the fields. Nevertheless, when silence reigned, Y/N thought she could hear the cries of the wounded men carried into the tent on makeshift stretchers. The long skirt and the piece of clothing with long sleeves and a high collar made it impossible to discover the traces of France on her body. Deep scars reminded her she was also there, where nobody, woman nor man, should ever be. The deep wounds had long since healed. The blemishes and blueish marks had disappeared many months ago, but her skin ached now and then, and fear clouded her mind when she recalled the gas bomb going off a few steps away from the camp where she was stationed.
Y/N folded her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the frame of the wooden door. Half-heartedly she was listening to her brothers reminisce about the greyed memories of fun days at the front, playing cards in the dark trenches, drinking rum, but with each passing hour, the stories grew darker and darker until they resembled shadows forming into monstrous crashing waves. Tragic stories never crossed Y/N´s lips, not wanting her brothers to hate her for what she had done, had left the land to serve, and wrapped herself in a cloak of silence.
Y/N stared into the distance. Tears no longer obscured her vision, saw sharply and clearly and it seemed as if she was emotionless, not showing compassion, but after watching hundreds of men die, holding the cold hands adorned with dirt and grime, Y/N could no longer grieve nor cry. Winter ruled in her eyes. She remembered the words of men begging for a gentle touch as the spark of life faded away and after seeing children die in her arms, calling for their mother, Y/N grew stone cold. Her heart turned into a block of ice and not even the death of a beloved could make her cry.
Glasses collided with the table again, but Y/N no longer recoiled.
“Won’t you sit at our table, sister?” Arthur joked in a joyful tone.
The tie no longer hung neatly on the white button and traces of wine had eaten into the material.
“No, thank you.”, “She doesn’t belong at our table. Those are stories a woman like her wouldn’t bear.” laughed Thomas harshly.
A dark veil settled on Y/N. She pressed her lips together, forbidding the words to pass and shrugged her shoulders dismissively. The words could no longer hurt her, at least that’s what she thought, but suddenly Y/N felt a slight burning sensation spreading through her heart as she realised how low her brother taught about her.
“Am I not right? The trench I was trapped almost killed me.” Thomas said. “And I will not speak of the land mines. I smell the stench of explosives in my worst dreams.” the dark-haired man in the suit continued.
John, Thomas and the others’ eyes wandered from Arthur to Y/N. A faint smile spread on her lips, had heard those words too often, was able to recite them.
“A woman is not able to face war and danger. While our lovely Y/N, sat here at home on her backside, warming herself by the fire, I risked my life for her safety. That’s why she’s a mere seamstress. The only danger you will face is that you might accidentally hurt yourself with the needle.” Thomas raised his voice.
A mischievous grin spread across his lips. Her blood was boiling. The walls crumbled. Anger mingled with sadness. Y/N gulped and stepped forward, pushed herself off the frame of the door and strolled towards the brothers. Y/N clenched her hands into fists, nails dug deep into the soft flesh. She breathed in and out and tried to calm herself down, but the fire rising in her chest couldn’t be extinguished.
“What are you trying to say, Thomas?” Y/N asked.
She took a step towards her brothers, focused her gaze on Thomas and ignored the others sitting at the richly set table.
“Exactly what I said. Women are.”, “Shut your goddamn mouth, Thomas.” Y/N hissed.
She stopped two steps away from the table. She had heard enough, knew perfectly well what he was trying to say, that she was a mere woman, weak and incapable of defending herself and facing the war.
“How can you be sure I was here? Were you here? How can you be so sure?” asked Y/N in a mocking tone.
“It’s all over your face,” replied Thomas dryly, leaning back with his arms folded in front of his chest.
“Then you are a blind man, Thomas. I was in France. I didn’t have a gun in my hand, but I have seen more of the war than you think. Children died in my arms and the men broke down crying. Y/N said.
Eyes widened. Skin paled.
“A bloody bomb went off next to my tent. I would have died that very night. I was in France, in Verdun and Somme in 1916 and later I worked in a hospital in London. Bombs killed more than dozens of my friends. I was on the same train as you, Thomas, when you were taken from France. You were asleep or maybe you have fainted. I stood right by your side and dabbed sweat from your temple and helped you to drink. I had to help you.” Y/N continued.
Colours slipped from the faces. Questioningly, the men in suits looked at the sister, but Y/N did not want to answer any of the questions escaping in low tones. Her heart broke. Tears obscured her vision, but Y/N saw clearly. The heaviness fell off her shoulders.
“I understand you more than you think, Thomas, yet who is the person who drinks to forget? You or me? The war shattered my heart. When you arrived from war, I stayed at your side. I was strong for you. I nursed you, but who was at my side when I needed someone?” Y/N asked.
There was silence. The last of the curtains dropped.
“No one,” Y/N whispered.
“I don’t ask anything of you in return. I don’t need to hear how great I am, but please stop portraying me as a woman who has been hiding. Please understand me, I didn’t tell you all because I knew you would talk me out of it and I knew I had to help the people. I have saved many lives.” Y/N continued.
Her voice broke into hundreds of pieces. She opened her heart, allowing them to hear the story they had never heard before. John’s mouth dropped open, unable to trust the words of his older sister, as did the others seated at the coffee table. The alcohol had faded out of their bodies and mist no longer dulled their minds.
“I’ll be on my way, the hazardous needles and pins await me and Thomas, your suit is finished. I hope you will like it. I’ll bring it in the morning. If you are looking for me, I will be in my room and do the work of a woman. I need to finish the coats. Good night.” Y/N said.
Silently the young woman walked away, ignoring the questions crossing the lips like a hurricane, pretending to be deaf to those spoken like crashing waves.
He is so, so exhausted all of the time that being able to just relax- to actively, purposefully do nothing- is quite possibly the best thing he can imagine.
In combination with that, he can never quite rid himself of the deep-seated fear that his s/o will finally reach a breaking point, will see him cross some sort of line of violence or depravity, and will no longer be comfortable around him.
So with those two points in mind, Tommy loves nothing more than being able to enjoy some peace and quiet in the presence of the one he loves.
The grounds at Arrow House encompass hundreds of acres, and on sunny days they’ll ride Tommy’s two favorite horses for hours on end. Sometimes they race, laughing breathlessly into the wind, and sometimes they just walk side by side, conversating and looking at the natural world around them.
They’ll put the horses out to graze and sit side by side beneath the shade of a centuries-old oak tree, speaking in voices no louder than a murmur as he unloads himself of his most pressing worries and she offers solutions, cutting him off when his voice sounds too despairing. She’ll tug him down to lie beside her and he’ll offer no more than a half-hearted protest, relaxing into her when she curls into his chest and dozing off into a blissfully dreamless sleep.
John:
John is the total opposite from Tommy when it comes to spending time with his s/o. In his opinion, they relax together every night while they sleep in the same bed, so why spend the waking hours sitting in grass and staring at clouds?
John is the most blatantly nouveau riche of the Shelby brothers, and he loves nothing more than to spend his considerable wealth on his s/o. Ridiculously heavy diamond earrings, dresses made of fabrics imported from continents away, expensive perfumes-gifts are undoubtedly his love language.
Once his s/o is appropriately dolled up in all of these gifts, they’re off to London for a night on the town. They’re both uniquely gifted at making one another laugh, so dinner at a stuffy restaurant turns out to be far from uncomfortable, John’s loud guffaws and her uncontrollable giggles earning them dirty looks from the other patrons.
Then they’re off to a club- sometimes to one controlled by the Blinders if John wants to show off to his s/o, to preen in response to the deference shown by everyone there-which invariably results in a good-natured eyeroll. If they want a little anonymity for the night, they’ll drive to the far reaches of the city and walk into the dining room of the swankiest hotel they find, making out by the bar while John has one hand on the pistol in his waistband, daring someone to say something.
Arthur:
If Tommy and John are total opposites on the spectrum of quality time, Arthur is steadily in the middle. He enjoys comfort, familiarity, the safety of the things he knows. One of the things he loves most about his s/o is the grounding feeling of being with her, the way her gravity pulls Arthur back into sanity whenever he begins to spiral.
He is less concerned about making quality time an “event” like his brothers are, and he’s more than happy to take over the private room at the Garrison with a few pints of beer and sit with her, shoulder to shoulder and intimate in a way they can’t be around the rest of the family, lest they risk mockery.
They’re both perfectly happy to pass the evening in quiet conversation, so comfortable around each other Arthur doesn’t feel the need to mask his vulnerability behind bravado. They joke and laugh and plan for the future and Arthur can’t help but grin at the way she giggles when she gets tipsy.
Michael
Michael is the epitome of class. The quality of his clothing, the weight of the watch on his wrist, the perfectly tailored dresses he gifts his s/o- all of these factors have been carefully designed to give off an air of respectability and style.
The two of them are young, yet untouched by the crushing anxieties of the older Shelbys, and they don’t feel the need to make every moment together particularly meaningful. One of Michael’s favorite things to do with his s/o is to bring her to charity galas, being that attending monotonous evening after monotonous evening was one of his most unenviable tasks as the head of the legitimate business.
He picks her up early, lets her tie his tie because he likes the way she slightly frowns when she concentrates, and lays a hand on her thigh while he drives, intoxicated by the way she laughs when he speeds down empty roads.
Michael is eternally grateful that she’s there to keep him entertained during neverending speeches and mind-numbing small talk. He loves how she tries to hide her laugh when men well into their seventies stutter while talking to Michael, so intimidated by his family and status. He watches those men carefully when she introduces herself, eyes flashing dangerously at any pair of eyes that look lower than her neckline.
When the bands starts playing upbeat swing music, they ignore the groans of the older crowd and make their way to the dance floor, gliding around in a close embrace while Michael mutters jokes into her ear just to hear that laugh he loves so much.
-john has this whole, very well-constructed, image in his head wherein he is this big and tough protector of the innocent and of the downtrodden
-you’re not entirely certain how he manages to justify this to himself as if he isn’t entwines in the very highest levels of a criminal enterprise, but you let him tell himself whatever he wants to hear because it’s too much work to argue
-credit is due, though; despite living in a city which could not exactly be considered clean and safe, with john, you have never felt once that you’re in danger
-he’s made a habit of carrying a gun with him all the time, but when you’re with him, he’s a bit more on edge, one arm around you and the other hovering over the handle of the pistol in his pocket
-he bought you a pistol as a gift on the first anniversary of when you’d starting dating, and the frightened and uncertain look in your eyes when you tried shooting it for the first time only made him want to protect you more
-sometimes he just wanted to keep you to himself, keep you cooped up in the biggest house he could find, but he’d be damned if the second best option wasn’t making sure you can protect yourself
-speaking of being cooped up, though, john instinctively curls his whole body around you while you sleep, as if his body heat alone could save you from ever having a nightmare
-he also sleeps on the side of the bed that’s closest to the door, so that if someone were to manage to break into the house and get to your bedroom, they’d see john first, and hopefully you’d have time to escape
-you wear a thin chain around your neck, threaded through which is a ring that john used to wear when you first met him
-you tried to wear it, too, when he first gave it to you, but it kept falling off, so you wear it around your neck
-john worries about you, a lot, and if he’s away for a long while or if you’ve just returned from a potentially unsafe situation, the first thing he does is frantically grab at your collar to make sure the necklace is still there
-neither you nor he is sure why he has to do this, but you let him take his little comforts
-you’ll never quite get how he separates his violent side so completely from the parts of him that interact with you, but you’ll be damned if you don’t love him for it
You’re somehow both the female version of John and also the antiJohn
you meet in the most random of ways
he has a one night stand and you’re her roommate
he probably notices your looks first, but you offer him a snarky comment and he’s absolutely both attacked and impressed
“you know most people are scared shitless of me”
“doesn’t make you any less of a pussy, John”
his brothers LOVE you for this sheer reason
you’re the only person who can leave him utterly speechless
you’re his wingman
always going out for ‘one’ and ending up out all night with him
he always brings you back to one of the shelby houses, much to the annoyance of whoever else resides in that home
polly meets you when she comes down to her living room one morning to find you and john in fits of giggles trying to shush each other and unsuccessfully hide behind her sofa
she grows to love you though, and she thinks you’re perfect for john
so does ada
they both desperately want you together
they can see the fun side you bring out in john
John might seem like the ‘fun’ shelby, but he’s still haunted by his past and has dark thoughts just as Tommy and Arthur do
he can share that with you too
crying with him when drunk and you telling each other about your whole lives in a back alley after being chucked out of a club
partners in crime; quite literally sometimes
you love each other, in the deepest way possible
you’ve always got each others back
he drives you mental
but he’s the one person you know you can call at 3 am when you can’t sleep because you watched a horror movie and you know he will drop everything just to come over
his Facebook profile picture is one of you and him
people definitely think you’re dating ALL THE TIME
he’s the one you send funny memes too
you force him to make a tiktok so you can send him videos on there too and he ends up learning renegade
its in his drafts, but you’ve definitely seen it and you’re not even sure if its just ironic anymore
you dont know it, but he has a picture of you in his wallet
you set a mug picture of you as his wallpaper and he never changed it
your mum loves him, she’s glad you’re not dating him though
your dad is DEFINITELY glad of this too
you fight like cat and dog
i can imagine you have some pretty explosive arguments too
you’re both such passionate people, you’re gonna clash on some things but you’re also both stubborn as donkeys
Polly is the peace keeper
“its like watching you argue with yourself John”
always making up
he may be a bad boy, but he knows when to apologise
big cuddler
at the end of the day, John knows you’re on of the best things that ever happened to him and he loves you with his whole heart
Alrighty then, so I’m not gonna lie out of the whole show i definitely sleep on John the most? i don’t know why though because the mans a SALT and just an all round geezer. Anyway, i hope you enjoy!
John:
he sees you out somewhere
like if you work in a cafe or bakery or something
tries to slip you his number because he’s a slick boy
and i feel like at first maybe you’re not interested because like
he’s a Shelby you know so, angst
or maybe you’re just playing hard to get you know
so he just comes back everyday
same time, day in, day out
it doesn’t take long for his jokes to get to you and you start to come round to the idea of going on a date with him
‘does this mean you’ll stop harassing me in my place of work?’
‘no promises, love’
he’s literally always smiling when he’s with you
even when youre not there and he’s just thinking about you
bragging to his brothers about how he’s pulled the best bird in all of Birmingham
Arthur and Tommy taking bets on whether you exist or not because they are still get to see real proof of you being a real person
because he never takes you round the peakys
tries to keep you away from all that business as long as possible
you think its because youre just some bit on the side and he doesn’t want to introduce you to his family
he’s actually scared of you finding out what he’s really like
not that he would ever admit he’s scared of anything
he knows you are too good for him and he doesn’t want you to run away and find someone better
because baby boy feels b l e s s e d
and John has some ‘baggage’ - as he would see it
he 100% knows his brothers will say something to screw it up too
and if not them then a drunken Ada or Polly
you probably have had enough of all his secrecy one night and have a go
“youre just better than that love, you deserve more than that and i don’t want to lose you because I’m selfish”
he probably takes a lot of reassuring that he’s good enough for you
even then i don’t think he will ever actually believe that he actually deservessomeone who he sees as so special
hes also probably very nervous of introducing you to his kids
that a whole lot
i feel like he’d avoid telling you about therefor as long as possible
not because he’s ashamed but he’s worried its too much for you
when he does tell you he makes a massive thing of it and youre just like
okay?
a man youve only been seeing for like a few weeks has kids? not partially earth shattering news
you want to meet them but understand that it should wait so they don’t get confused
understanding way he’s so secretive about his personal life and feeling blessed when he feels comfortable enough to share information with you
you open up to him a lot too, because who doesn’t have past
he grows to not hate feeling vulnerable around you, but he probably never enjoys it
he wants to still be big bad John, but he also wants to show you all the little bits of his life he’s never wanted to share with someone before
so one night when youre out on some fancy date in some expensive restaurant
and Johns wearing his best shirt or the only one without some blood stainage somewhere visible
you can’t ignore how out of place he looks anymore
‘take me somewhere you loved as a kid’
and instead of arguing he takes you up the cut
tells you about all the fun him and his brothers had round here before the war
sitting in under the stars with him there and getting mud on your fancy clothes
Johns a hopeless romantic okay
he knows right then and there he’s going to make you his wife
him introducing you to Tommy and Arthur first
right in the deep end tbh
Arthur is just surprised you actually exist tbh
and mad he’s lost a tenner
them telling you all about the stupid shit he’s done
laughing so much with them your whole tummy literally aches
then its Polly and Ada - which is what youre most nervous for
they love you straight away though
you are the ying to Johns yang and they can see how you bounce of each other and they very much approve
Adas inviting you round to hers for some proper one on one girl time
Pollys probably planning her outfit for the wedding
she’s also planning your dress
i feel like all the brothers would just forget to formally introduce you to Finn
like you’d just meet him at some point anyway they just don’t think to introduce him properly
like poor Finn honestly
You meet his kids lads and i feel like John has some sleepless nights about this
because like yer you might likekids but are you ready to be a mother?
they love you straight away
you love them
when he finally gets them off you long enough for you to leave they won’t stop asking when youre coming back
kinda pissed that they seem to love you more than him
him never keeping you away from his family again
keeps you out of the business side of things
all he wants to do is protect you
moving to the country with him
you tell him about how when you were little you used to dream of living in the country and riding unicorns
so he just goes out and buys you a horse
“John why is there a horse in the garden?”
“well i couldn’t find any unicorns”
(insert John smirk here)
riding with him on summer nights
waking up to the kids in the bed with you
John loves seeing you all snuggled up with them
makes it impossible for him to leave the bed
he’s never known love like this
he met his first wife when they were young and everything was so fast and new
and then after losing her he was a bit of a player
never settling for any one girl
but now all he wants is to come home to you forever.
he marries you a soon as you will let him
its a BIG wedding like his whole family is there and so are yours and all the kids friends
he still can’t believe he managed to make someone like you his and he wants everyone to see it happen
he cries when he sees you coming down the aisle
like UGLY cries and everyones shocked
including you
Arthur is gasping for air because he’s laughing at him so hard
he just loves you so much and seeing you in your white dress and flowers in your hair is just all a bit too much for him OKAY
he will never live this down though, his brothers make sure of that
Okay so lets get a bit smuttyyyyy
just want to get this out the way but
johns got a big dick okay
i dont make the rules
anyway
hes deffo got a breeding kink
wants you to have loads of his babies
deffo very sexually attracted to pregnant you
he just loves the whole idea of it
other than that i don’t think he’s that kinky
maybe sex at work - like in the office
but its more just because he literally love shaving sex with you, he doesn’t care about the time or place
hes not more turned on because he’s in the office
it just is what it is
big giver
loves going down on you
he just loves the power of making you squirm you know
probably a bit of a teaser
and love being teased
although he’s quite crass i feel like he’s good at hiding how turned on he is in public
like if youre deliberately trying to get him hard
he won’t let it show that youre getting under his skin
but when you get home
oh boy
good luck to you
hope you don’t have to walk anywhere the next day
hes definitely loud when he can be
at home he’s used to holding it all in because the kids are in the next room
but like when you guys are away in a hotel or something everyone on that floor hears way more than they would like too
your first Christmas together you go to Tommy’s for dinner and end up drinking late into the night and staying over
nobody can look at you the same the next morning
and now theres a yearly argument over who has to sleep in the room closest to yours and Johns
hello i always say this but i may come back to writing just a little bit. today feels appropriate for that. so much has happened in my life these past few months and right now just seems like the messiest, yet stillest time. i will keep my promise and post Bury Me part 4. i will also, if you don’t mind, write for another fandom occasionally. it’s what is most comforting and what i can draw inspiration from at this time. we’ll see how today goes.
anon said:can I please request a john shelby oneshot, where he and reader meet like tommy and grace did, like she’s the new barmaid but she’s more innocent and sweet and he flirts with her? thank you!
pairing:john shelby x reader
warnings:violence, cursing, drinking. you name it, we have it but it’s also very sweet I promise
