so direct action is not an option available to you. what can you do right now instead?
Be mindful of the content you’re putting on your social media accounts. Stop retweeting/reposting violent images and videos of black people dying. Know that content like this, even with trigger warnings included, can be very emotionally disturbing/distressing and yes, even traumatic, for black people navigating the internet right now.
Report any images and videos you see where protestors’ faces are visible/unblurred, particularly in content surrounding the lootings. Don’t retweet or repost these images and videos. This can be a death sentence.
DONATE, PARTICULARLY TO MINNESOTA-BASED BLACK YOUTH MOVEMENTS / MUTUAL AID FUNDS WHO ARE DOING WORK ON THE GROUND. FOLLOW/BOOST IF YOU CAN’T.
Holy shit, it’s been a while since I’ve last posted here, but this thing just happened:
I was playing Identity V on my phone, and I open the game chat on the English channel (The only English channel on the asian server), and this person wrote “Need help from abroad” and “Help Thailand”.
I sent them a message asking them to tell me what’s going on, and this is the chat:
Trigger warning: mentions police violence
(the screenshots were taken with the person’s permission)
After fleeing your abusive husband and changing your name, you find yourself in the small coastal town of July, North Carolina. Soon you meet Frankie Morales, Air Force Veteran and single dad. As the two of you grow closer, you begin to let go of your past and learn to love again. That is until a strange man shows up in town, and you ’re forced to choose between your safety or the safety of the people that you love.
The gentle spring breeze sent the smell of flowers down the corridor of the grand marble building. There were hundreds of them, Ben’s wife had done an amazing job putting this all together. The ceremony took place in the courtyard of the banquet hall and now you stood watching as people filtered into another room for the cocktail hour.
Lucy had looked absolutely adorable as the flower girl; the big frilly blue dress appealing to her sense of style.
You were happy for them, Ben and his wife, but you couldn’t help but feel a little sad as well.It had been a year now but the aftershocks were still strong as ever. You had been seeing a therapist, but you knew a grieving cycle as complex as this one took time.
David’s death had lifted a huge burden off your shoulders, you didn’t even realize just how big until someone came in and told you the news. You cried in the hospital bed, weeped like a child, for hours. Santiago was there, he stayed by your side the whole time, sitting silently and allowing you to move through all these emotions.
“Champagne for the pretty lady,” a voice said, snapping you out of your daydream.
You turned to see Frankie striding up to you with a glass in hand, looking as handsome as ever in his suit and tie.
“Aren’t you supposed to be taking photos right now” you asked, smiling and allowing him to pass you the champagne flute.
Frankie had been the one to save your life that day. Even with two bullet wounds, one to the shoulder and the other to the abdomen, he had been the person who fired the shot that brought David down. The surgery took hours, but Frankie managed to pull through and make a really substantial recovery. He had a few minor issues still, but nothing life threatening.
The story ended up making headline news. Some other evidence of David’s misdoings came out in the weeks after as well. Frankie and the others were never charged with anything related to the incident. You weren’t either. The best of all however, was that Summer had gotten her name back. Summer’s family reached out to you via letter, they did not hold any ill will towards you at all. They were glad that their daughters’ last doings on this earth was helping a woman in a similar situation. They said they would continue to pray for you, and keep you in their thoughts.
Frankie looped his arm around your waist and pulled you in. “They don’t need us right now, besides I haven’t seen you all day. I wanted to get a good look at you in that dress” he smiled.
You rolled your eyes, setting the flute down the little foyer table next to you then reaching up to adjust his tie.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, lowering his voice a little.
You let out an amused huff but didn’t look up at him “about the wedding, and how nice it is.”
He nodded, knowing you had more to say.
“I think” you went on, “maybe we could bring it up next week in couples counseling. I feel like I might be coming around to the idea of marriage again. With you, at least. ….What do you think?” You asked, giving him a little grin as you looked up at him.
“I think that it definitely sounds like something worth bringing up… and I would have to look into the legality of it all, but even if it never happens, as long as I am with you I’m happy.” He leaned forward and gave you a soft kiss.
Santi’s voice came bellowing through the corridor. “Fish - make out with your girlfriend later we have shit to do.”
“I’m being summoned” Frankie laughed, “I’m glad you feel that way though.”
You smiled and patted him on the chest “me too, now go, I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said, turning on his heels.
You watched him go, smiling and picking up your glass. You drew in a slow and steady breath feeling the breeze from outside shuffle the fabric of your dress a little. Lucy’s bright laughter came floating through the hallway. There was a time in your life where you never thought any of this would be possible, that you would be happy again, but you were… and for that you were so proud.
After fleeing your abusive husband and changing your name, you find yourself in the small coastal town of July, North Carolina. Soon you meet Frankie Morales, Air Force Veteran and single dad. As the two of you grow closer, you begin to let go of your past and learn to love again. That is until a strange man shows up in town, and you ’re forced to choose between your safety or the safety of the people that you love.
You tried pulling at the metal rod the cuff was attached to. Even with decades of rust, it didn’t budge. You moved onto your back, grinding your teeth and using your legs to push off against the radiator with all your might. Still, nothing came loose.
‘Focus’ you told yourself, looking around the room.
It was pitch black, only the silhouette of the door frame was visible. You were reminded about the day you pulled Lucy from the water, how dark it was, how quiet. Like suspended in ether. That’s what it felt like now, being underwater.
You stretched your arm out as far as it could go and searched around for anything you could use to break the chain on the cuff. When you realized there was nothing of use around you, you pulled on the cuff again. Then spit on your wrist and rubbed your saliva around your skin.
You braced yourself, drawing in a quick breath and yanking as hard as you could. Even with all that force, the cuffs didn’t move an inch. Desperate now, and you got onto your knees and smoothed your hands along the floorboards. Fingers scanning for a catch or a dip in the wood.
A gasp escaped your lips as you felt one. Quickly you wiped the soot off your fingers, gripped the nail between your thumb and pointer, then jimmied it upwards.
Inch by inch, you pulled, readjusted and pulled again, repeating that process until you got enough of the nail exposed to grip it with your fist and yank it out. It ripped from the floor much easier than you had expected, flying out of your bloody hands and skidding across the floor.
You drew in a shaky breath, swallowing hard. You were okay. If it was out of your reach, you would simply find another. You had time. You were going to be okay.
You turned, stretching your arm as far as it could go and feeling around for the nail. Your fingers just grazed the edge, you held your breath and reached even more. When you got hold of it you walked it up slowly until you could pick it up.
You took the nail and placed it in your mouth, the taste of rust bitter against your tongue. You took the nail between your teeth and brought it up to the keyholes on the cuff. You had actually practiced this at the house for an entire day once. David had left the cuffs behind and you thought it might save your life one day.
Headlights shone through the cracks of the house. You looked up just as they darted across the wall and grew larger by the second.
“Fuck fuck Fuck,” you whispered, the nail firmly still in your mouth.
You didn’t think you would make it in time. You felt hopeless. You knew you were going to die.
Then finally, a click.
The cuff came apart in your hand. David’s flashlight shone against the wall, and you could hear his footsteps treading through the house. You turned away, body blocking your hands, heart racing so fast you could hear it thumping in your ears. You waited, nail clutched so tightly in your hand you could hardly feel the tips of your fingers anymore.
David came in then tossed something towards you, a pregnancy test. He would kill you in an instant, but a baby was something that shared half of his DNA. You were his object, but that baby, if there was a baby, was an extension of himself.
“You don’t believe me?” you asked.
“No, I don’t,” he said simply. You could tell by his tone you were really starting to push his buttons.
You lifted your head, looking up at him. “I need two hands if you’re really going to make me do it here.”
He thought for a moment, eyes scanning you. Then he moved forward, crouching down in order to undo the cuffs.
You seized this opportunity, taking the nail and driving it into his shoulder. David reeled backwards, falling and crying out in pain. You didn’t wait to see the damage you inflicted. The moment he jerked back, you were on your feet, sprinting into the darkness.
You heard a shot ring out behind you, then another, closer this time. You pushed on harder despite the terrain, stumbling and having to brace yourself on tree trunks each step of the way. You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew you had to get away. To your right, you heard water.
The moon was coming out, casting a thin veil of silver across the landscape. It was the lake, the one Frankie had taken you to. Your mind raced as it tried to establish some sort of mental map to help guide you.
Then, without warning, you felt the pull of your hair jerking you backwards.
-
Frankie heard the shots. They were closer than expected. He felt hopeful. David didn’t have to shoot something that was already dead. That hope was short-lived, however, when he realized the gunfire ceased, meaning one of those bullets must have hit its mark. Frankie grit his teeth, hoping that the boys had made it, and heard the shots as well.
He needed you to be alive. All of this was his fault. If he hadn’t kicked you out, you would have been safe. Instead, you were here, with the very man Frankie had vowed to protect you from. He knew that forgiveness was unlikely, but even if you never spoke to him again, it would be okay, just as long as you were alive.
He heard a large splash and all at once the trees opened up to reveal a rundown house and the glow of red tail lights. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but once they did, Frankie felt a jolt of horror when he realized there was a car slowly sinking itself into the inky darkness of the lake. Next to that stood the figure of a man, watching. Frankie raised his gun and squeezed off two shots. The figure ducked away, firing two shots of his own before fleeing in the direction of the house.
Frankie’s first instinct was to follow, but when he saw the taillights of the vehicle vanish completely below the surface he knew he couldn’t just leave you. If there was even a chance you could be alive he would take it. He started towards the lake, ripping off his jacket and diving into the water.
It was freezing cold, and full of debris from the storm. Visibility was low but the lights in the car were still functional.
He grabbed onto the side of the car and pulled himself forward. The front of the vehicle had already settled onto the bottom of the lake. Frankie could see you through the windows laying in the back seat, arms floating above you, eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar.
He used the end of the gun to strike at the corner of the window, a spider web crack pattern formed instantly. He did it once more and the pieces came apart freely. His lungs burned but he pushed on, he had already lost so much time he couldn’t afford to lose anymore.
He reached into the cabin and snaked an arm around your chest, as soon as he had a firm grasp on you he kicked off against the metal of the car and swam desperately to the surface. He broke through the surface and pulled your head above water, taking in large gulps of air and bracing himself for any attacks David might have been waiting to inflict.
Your head fell against his cheek, and that’s when he realized that you were still warm. He reached the bank of the lake in a matter of seconds and laid you out on the sand.
He gave you two breaths and started chest compressions. It was hard to feel in moments like this, he was scared yes - but he didn’t have access to it, not yet anyway. There would be time for feelings later. He heard you choke and turned you over on your side, allowing you to vomit up the water from the lake.
He pulled you up, cradling you in his arms and rubbing your back as you gulped up air.
The fact that you are still alive was nothing short of a miracle, his brain couldn’t even process it yet. He heard a voice and realized it was his own, cooing into your ear, telling you that you were safe now and everything was going to be alright.
There was a loud bang.
The sound caused your ears to ring so loud you brought your hands up to block your ears. Everything felt so cloudy, like the world wasn’t moving fast enough. Reality didn’t feel tangible anymore, your life felt like something you were watching yourself take part in from above rather than be an active participant in. All you wanted to do was lay down and shut your eyes.
You were vaguely aware of a hand coming up and wrapping itself in your hair, pulling you from the ground to a standing position.
“You just don’t know when to fucking die do you?” David’s voice hissed in your ear.
A light in the distance caught your attention, it was moving towards you. Even Though David was quite intoxicated, his reflexes were much faster than yours, he maneuvered you around so that your back was flat against his chest, and placed the barrel of the gun against your head.
A voice spoke, and you recognized it as Santiago’s, “It’s over, put the gun down.”
Two more lights emerged from either side of the lake.
David stood, swaying a little as he held you.
There was not an ounce of humanity left in his voice as he spoke “did you let them fuck you all at once or just pass you around on different nights? Jesus, I can’t believe I ever loved a whore like you.”
There was another shot, and for a few breathless seconds you thought you were dead. Eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds go by each day and nobody bats an eye, but those seconds seemed to last a lifetime. All you could think about was David’s words - love, love I can’t believe I ever loved a whore like you.
You had experienced anger before, resentment even, but the feeling that coursed through you now was none of those. This was something deeper, something so base and animalistic your body moved without any conscious effort. David had fallen, pulling you to the ground with him.
You pulled yourself up, took hold of a river rock lying next to you on the sand, crawled on top of your husband and sank the rock into his forehead. Then again, and again, and again.
“You didn’t fucking love me” you shouted “That was never love. I was the one that loved, that cared - for the both of us. You hurt me and I stayed because I wanted you to love me so badly. I wanted a life with you and you took that away from us! You! I wish I never fucking met you.”
An arm came around your torso and pulled you away. In the moonlight you could see the husk of flesh that was once David’s face, laying there motionless on the ground.
“He’s dead, he’s dead Summer. You’re okay, you’re okay.” It was Ben’s voice, strong and unwavering as ever.
You felt lightheaded as Ben’s face came into your vision, he was speaking but you couldn’t hear a word of it. You turned your head to see the rest of the men surrounding Frankie who was lying motionless on the sand.
“No, no “ you muttered, trying to pull yourself up but being held back by Ben.
After fleeing your abusive husband and changing your name, you find yourself in the small coastal town of July, North Carolina. Soon you meet Frankie Morales, Air Force Veteran and single dad. As the two of you grow closer, you begin to let go of your past and learn to love again. That is until a strange man shows up in town, and you ’re forced to choose between your safety or the safety of the people that you love.
Frankie had to stop himself from driving to your house to apologize for most of the day. He should have been more sympathetic to your position and refrained from getting defensive. Of course, that was going to scare you and, of course, you were going to lash out as a result. Everything he had said about trusting you was clearly a lie. You had been very forthcoming about your past, even if you were still anxious. You had trusted him enough to keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. He couldn’t even be forthcoming with just one secret.
This fight had highlighted how broken the two of you actually were. Frankie didn’t realize it himself until he started caring for you. The fear of abandonment embedded so deep inside of him he forgot it was there. His instinct was to hold on tight and not let go, and yours was to run. It was tragically ironic. Still, Frankie was hopeful the two of you could find a safe haven in the middle.
While at the bar, he had heard the power on your side of town had gone out and he knew you must have been scared all by yourself. When the five of them got back to his house, Frankie asked the guys to watch Lucy so he could go pick you up and bring you back - or at the very least pay for a hotel for the night.
There was nobody on the roads as he drove. It was unnerving, like a scene from a horror movie; just darkness stretching on for miles. The rain was still coming down hard and visibility was almost non-existent.
Tires came to a stop as Frankie pulled up to your house. He kept the car on, headlights pointed at the door as he ascended the steps. He knocked and called out your name, but nobody answered.
Not caring about the rain, he turned on his cell phone flashlight and went around back, peaking into the sliding glass door. He called for you again, still nothing. The house was empty.
Multiple scenarios raced through his mind in a matter of seconds. Maybe you didn’t make it home and were picked up by somebody on the way. Maybe you were at the diner waiting for the power to come back on, but if that were the case, you would have surely come to his door when you saw him pull up with the Jeep.
Or maybe you had left like you said you would.
Maybe, he had been wrong about you after all and you weren’t some new start in life. You were simply a con, one who had used him and his daughter and Frankie had let you because his desire to be loved outweighed all logic.
He was more mad at himself than at you. If he could have just sat down and explained that trip to you….sometimes it felt like the money was cursed. First Tom, then Katie… and now you. If Frankie knew then just how much damage that trip would have cost him, he would have never agreed to go.
He made his way around to the car and got back in the driver’s seat, slamming the door and staring at the house.
What was he going to tell Lucy? Ever since you had come into their lives, he had seen a shift in her. She was brighter and more confident than she had been in so very long. He would have to tell her at some point, and he knew it would crush her.
He was at a loss for what to do. He didn’t want to move the car, because despite all of this, he didn’t believe it. He didn’t believe you would leave. It had to be something else.
He sat back and adjusted the cap on his head, his hair soaked from the rain. It was then the screen on the car lit up, Will’s caller ID and ringtone coming through the speakers. Frankie accepted the call.
“Fish?” Will asked.
“Yeah?”
“It’s Lucy, hold-on” there was shuffling on the line, then the little girl’s voice came through. “Daddy?”
“Hi Lulu, you okay?” Frankie asked.
“Where are you?”
Frankie put the car in reverse and turned his head to back out of the driveway. “I was at the store getting batteries in case the power goes out.”
“Oh.”
“Why, are you okay?” Frankie asked again.
“Yes- I think you should invite Miss Summer over too. That way, the bad guys can’t get her and she’ll be safe.”
Frankie pressed on the brake so hard it made the car lurch a few inches. “What?”
“The bad guys,” Lucy said.
“What bad guys?” Frankie asked.
“The ones the police are trying to catch.”
If there had been a convict on the loose in July, everybody in town would know about it.
Frankie shook his head, “who told you about the bad guys?”
Lucy took an impatient breath. “The policeman in the restaurant.”
“The-” In an instant, all the pieces clicked into place. It felt as though someone had shot him in the chest and knocked all the breath out of him at once. “Lulu?”
“Yeah?”
“Put Uncle Will on the phone.”
Frankie threw the car in drive and hit the gas so hard it spit up gravel behind him.
Will’s voice came through the line. “Yeah?”
“Listen to me, don’t ask questions. I need you to get Lucy to the people across the street in the motel, then I need you to go into the shop, in my office there is a safe - Lucy’s birthday take it all and meet me at Barnwell State Park, you can find it in maps, I need you to go now. I’ll explain it all later.”
Frankie hung up the phone, turned his high beams on and pushed the pedal down as far as it would go.
-
David had put the radio on, but the station was out of range and all that came through was static and the occasional sentence fragment. The windshield wipers were on high, sliding against the glass at a rhythmic pace. You saw floaters dancing around your vision as you opened your eyes, not really registering everything that had happened until a few seconds after you came too. The realization was painful. You wished you could have stayed shrouded in that ignorance.
You sat up just as he pulled off the road and onto a gravel path. You realized quickly that your wrist was bound to the door by his handcuffs. Your gaze shifted to the front part of the cabin and the gun resting barrel down in the cup holder on the central console.
“David,” you said, “are we going home?”
David reached over and took another swig from the water bottle, but said nothing.
“David please,” you said, your hand coming to rest hesitantly on his shoulder then sliding towards the base of his neck. “I made a mistake, and I didn’t know how to come back from it. I missed you. I’ve spent every day missing you.”
David’s hand shot up, grabbing your wrist and jerking it away. A flash of pain shot up your arm. You needed something else. Something that would stop him for a moment, just long enough to allow you a window of escape.
You sat back against the seat, the throbbing in your head coming to plague you once more. You weren’t sure how long it was before the car stopped and he got out. Time didn’t feel like it was moving at a real speed anymore. You flinched as he threw open the door, the gun in his right hand, the handcuff key in his left.
He kneeled down beside you, setting the gun on the floor. You watched as he unlocked the cuff from the door. Once that was finished, he took you by the waist and yanked you to a standing position.The boot on your foot acted as an anchor, weighing you down so much you couldn’t run. You would have to find some way to get that off too.
You felt the barrel of the gun press against your lower back and urge you forward.The further you went into the woods, the less chance you had of walking out alive. You walked on, pretending to trip, and hit the ground hard. It hurt, but not as much as your head did. You drew in a sharp breath and willed yourself to cry. It was harder said than done, but once the floodgates opened, there was no stopping them. You sat up pathetically and brushed gravel off your hands.
David sighed impatiently, coming up in front of you, taking the boot off your foot and discarding it to the side.
“David,” you whimpered, looking up at him with big round eyes. “I left because I felt guilty. I felt guilty that I couldn’t give you a baby and I couldn’t make us a family. I know you wanted one so badly and I know how much it pained you to keep taking me to appointments and going on medication. You deserved more from your wife. So I left because I wanted you to be happy and I wanted to stop hurting you.”
David was looking at you, his expression unreadable.
You continued on, “but as soon as I got here I missed my period and then another, and I went to CVS to buy one of those tests and - and”
David’s eyes scanned your body. The weight you had gained was something David had noticed as soon as he touched you at your house. He attributed it to all the deep fried shit they tried to pass for food in the south….but not a baby.
A baby….
No, no, you were messing with him. This was another con. You didn’t look pregnant, but a lot of women didn’t show for a long time. How far along would you have been? Four, almost five months? It was certainly plausible.
He spoke up, his voice trembling, “if you’re lying to me-”
“I’m not,” you said quickly, pulling yourself up on your knees so you could face him. “I promise David, I haven’t slept with anybody else. Nobody. Even the thought of it just makes me sick. I love you. I wanted to go back. As soon as I knew the baby would be okay, I was going to go back. That way you wouldn’t have to suffer if…” you let your words trail off, allowing him to fill in the rest.
David had a knack for knowing when people were lying. He drew in a long breath and stood, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
You could tell he was thinking, weighing his options. You reached for him, but he reeled back and used the butt of his gun to hit you across the cheek, catching your nose on the side. For a moment, it felt like your right eye was going to pop from its socket. The blood was instant, tasting like metal as it dripped into your mouth.
He took you by the hair and hauled you to your feet, forcing you to stand and using the barrel of his gun to march you forward again. You were panicking now. All your options were slowly crumbling one by one.
David clicked on his flashlight and in the distance, a little way down an edge of trees, stood a dilapidated house. It must have been there for years, judging by the state of it. He helped you down the slope that led to the clearing and kicked the door in with his foot. It tore from the wall easily, the wood splintering as it fell.
He hauled you inside and down a hallway. Each step you took caused the floorboards to crack beneath your feet like a thin layer of ice atop a newly frozen lake. You weren’t sure if there was a basement, but you didn’t really want to find out. The room he pulled you into must have been a bedroom once. The dim glow of his flashlight illuminated an old dresser backed up against the wall, across from it was a metal bed frame, the mattress was nothing more than a pile of brown rot on the floor where animals had come and pulled it apart for nesting material.
He led you forward towards a rusted metal radiator in the corner, then shackled you to the object. Then he turned to leave.
“Where are you going?” You asked “Baby please, David please, I’m scared.”
He looked at you, shook his head, and walked out of the room.
“David! David!”
-
Frankie raced down the sodden back roads, unsure of his intended destination. He knew there were two official entrances to the park and two unofficial roads that lead to the networks of fire breaks woven throughout the forest. He also knew that David wasn’t stupid enough to park his car at a main entrance. There would be security cameras, so that narrowed down access points. The park wasn’t too large either, a few hundred acres. With each of the boys taking a point of access, it wouldn’t be too hard to find you.
Or at least that’s what Frankie kept telling himself to avoid confronting the almost certain possibility that you were already dead.
When he found David, because he would, the plan he had in store for that useless piece of shit topped anything he had done in all his years enlisted. Frankie would not come back from this one, and that was okay with him.
