#ugh i wanted to mention more but time ksfnskjfsjdkf

I-II : ...but it must be said — the callback interview 

      june 2019. mga 5 callback auditions. wordcount: 1372
         featuring:@rkxbin,@rkheejin,@rkpwj,@rkyuna,@rkjeonghxn

fix your hair here, apply more lipstick. after her hair was returned to the half-up, half-down ‘do it was in, she was told to sit inside a smaller room. based on the equipment set up and sole chair in front of the cameras, she knew she would be interviewed.good, because i have a lot to say. she thinks its a good thing people couldn’t read thoughts. although most of her thoughts are verbalized anyways.

jungeun takes a seat on the chair; its high enough for her to dangle her legs as she waits for the interviewer. would it be one of the CEO’s? she knows the idea is probably too far-fetched but she hopes that the zero point one percent chance becomes true. the door opens and she stands up to bow and introduce herself. she bows first. “hello,” the blonde introduces herself. she chuckles when she realizes who her interviewer would be. the same interviewer from the general auditions. “i’m kim jungeun." 

she says her name with a slight giggle, as the interview displays an obvious not this shit again face. they both sit down in their respective seats and once again, he wastes no time.  

— kim jungeun-ssi, how did you feel when you received the news of the callback?

"ifelt,” jungeun paused. “happy. being an idol has been my dream since childhood. i’m happy i could finally do something to pursue that dream. i didn’t get to have a chance to do it last year." 

— why not?

"i wasn’t allowed,” jungeun felt so cheesy saying that. she felt like an elementary school student. “but, its fine, i had to finish high school first anyways. education is important." 

—did your parents not allow you? your parents, by the way, are pretty impressive. your mother used to be the grand prinicipal for the seoul national ballet, right? 

jungeun decides to dodge the first question. it wasthe truth, yes. but she didn’t want her parents to be viewed as too controlling. it was also choice to respect their wishes anyways. "i didn’t allow myself. like i said, education’s important.” jungeun nodded as her mother’s background was revealed. she didn’t add it on her application purposely. she hatedbeing told that her efforts were just handed to her. but she expected that someone would find out. 

“yeah, its no surprise that i’m a dancer then, right? being a one herself, my mom has higher standards for my output as a dancer. i can’t just rely on genes or family name, i had to work hard to get here." 

—dancingruns in the family then. how does this stage compare to the others you’ve been on? it wasn’t such a challenge, right? 

"not really,” jungeun’s telling the truth. dancing on a stage or competing for a prize was not a new battle. “but i think its the most expensive stage i’ve been on." 

—and the most expensive spotlightstoo.

jungeun’s surprised he references and remembers her first interview. see, i knew you were interested in what i had to say before. "yeah, kept me warm." 

they both laugh, a break in the interviewer’s usual demeanor. but he doesn’t falter further and continues with his questions.

— so it wasn’t a challenge? even when the judges were revealed? 

"ohthatwas a challenge indeed.” jungeun recalls her little banter with the trc ceo. she hopes he didn’t take her sass the wrong way. “but it was a honor to dance for them. that’s so cliche, but really. it was. i don’t want to jinx anything but if i didn’t make it through, i think they’ll know i’m someone to look out for." 

—besides the judges, it seemed like there were faces that were familiar to you. you sat next to jeon heejin, what’d you think of her performance? 

"ilovedit. am i being biased? she’s worked hard to perform on this stage. she wouldn’t be my friend if she didn’t.” jungeun pauses. the last statement probably came out too harsh but it wasn’t false. “i mean, i try to motivate my friends to do the best they can and they do the same to me. i try not to surround myself with others who don’t have passion for what they do; it tends to drag me down as well. skill can be sharpened but passion has a rawness to it—”

“—and i think that’s something heejin has. we’ve been friends since high school. her performance was an accumulation of her many years of practice and dedication. sounding like an absolute angelis just a plus.”

—it seems like you two are really close. how about park woojin? we’ve seen you talking to him quite a bit during the general auditions. 

her demeanor changes. crap, why’d you have to mention him out of ninety-nine others. “ohhim,” jungeun purses her lips. “he wasn’t bad enough to have gotten eliminated from the general auditions. i’m surprised, i guess he can do something else other than dr—”

jungeun doesn’t know if he and his band were still undergoing their hannah montana double life type of thing. so dramatic. if gaga can go from pop’s resident “weirdo” to raw country songstress, being in a rock band and doing idol shit was nothing.the interview was the perfect time to reveal his whole gig as a drummer but she decides not to. she respects him somewhatto give him the authority over his image. “—drag his feet across the floor like he’s playing just dance or dance dance revolution. i never seen him sing, that caught me off guard. whatever, he’s not too shabby at it. he sounds nice, actually. he should do it more often." 

she trails off with the last sentence, saying it in an almost-whisper. if it were ever aired, she didn’t want him to become all smug because of one compliment. 

—how about the other performances? do you have anything to say? good or bad. 

"hm. seo changbin. he’s crazy talented, isn’t he? he says he’s a quiet person. he is, but when he opens his mouth to speak, it really means something.” jungeun says it with sincerity, considering changbin is one of the only men she can tolerate. “you could tell it by his performance, he’s alwaystrying to create something new. so the judges should give him the chance to continue to display it.”  

“shin yuna. baby shark was solast year and that twist. it was a twistbut c'mon, its so expected.” jungeun slightly rolled her eyes. “she’s beautiful, though. at least she has that." 

"there’s so much to say. so much people too,” jungeun says it with a chuckle. if she had the chance, she wouldsit there and mention every. single. performance like she was an NBA commentator. score! foul. another three from the dancer from busan. 

—i could tell, i see your gears turning. but we don’t have the time. how about onemore.

“yoon jeonghan. i liked his song selection, it seemed like he was baring it all on the stage. but it would be embarrassing if he got eliminated. being too raw for nothing. it would be a shame.”

—you seem to have a lot to say about your peers’ performances. how about you? how do you evaluate yourself?

jungeun takes a deep breath. “i did my best. i’m not perfect, so there’s always a better possible output. but, i did my best and i put my allinto that stage. i think it would be unfortunate if i were eliminated. i still have a lot to show." 

—i see. well, good luck, jungeun-ssi. 

"thank you,” jungeun says, bowing as she left her seat. 

“see you soon.” she says the last line with certainty and with a dash of hope, hoping to manifest her future. she can’tbe eliminated so early. she’s so close to her dream and it would be a shame if they took it away from her. 

( and as much as she hates to admit it, she’d blame herself more if she didn’t do her best to stay. )