#ulster cycle

Cú Chulainn: Okay. I get it. You’ve had a really hard time lately, you’re stressed out, seven people died-

Láeg:Twelve, actually.

Cú Chulainn: Not the point. Look, they’re dead now and really whose fault is that?

Láeg:Yours!

Cú Chulainn: That’s right: no one’s.

Fer Diad: So are we flirting right now?

Cú Chulainn: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Fer Diad: That doesn’t answer my question

Emer: How many kids do you have?

Cú Chulainn: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

“I’m no sociopath. I always know what I’m doing is wrong.”

— Cú Chulainn, probably

I arrive at Áth Feidle

chariot: shaky

weapons: ready

dick: out

I am forcibly removed from Áth Feidle

— Iliach, probably

– Táin Bó Flidaise II, trans. incorrect-ulster-cycle

Cormac: I can excuse cattle-raiding and invading Ulster, but I draw the line at insulting my dad.

Cú Chulainn: If I had a penny for every time someone wanted to be buried in the same grave as me, I’d have three pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened three times.

Láeg:People are always asking me if I’m a morning person or a night person.
Láeg: And I’m just like, ‘Buddy! I’m barely even a PERSON!’

“You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?”

- Cú Chulainn, probably

Cú Chulainn: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Conchobar:Wasn’t Láeg with you?
Láeg: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Láeg: What did you do with Fer Diad’s body?
Cú Chulainn: What didn’t I do with the body?
Láeg:
Cú Chulainn: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

“When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.”

– the Morrígan, probably

Cú Chulainn: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Emer: Cú, no.
Láeg:Mistlefoe.
Emer:Please stop encouraging him.

“My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.”

– Naoise, probably

Cú Chulainn: I prevented a murder today.

Láeg: Really? How’d you do that?

Cú Chulainn: Self control.

Cú Chulainn: Láeg and I don’t use pet names.
Emer: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Cú Chulainn:Honey?
Láeg:Yes, dear?
Cú Chulainn:
Emer: Don’t ever lie to my face again.

“I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.”

– Fergus, probably

trans-cuchulainn:

trans-cuchulainn:

does anyone have the medb version of the “did margaret thatcher effectively utilise girl power” meme handy, i need it for reasons and i can’t find it

here is one version of it but there were definitely others

trans-cuchulainn:

this boy has so many parents