#water sports

Take my thumb off? No, you gotta get my permission before I let you piss!! Tell me how bad you have to go. Describe it.

I love you too but it’d be wrong to surrender my virginity before marriage. If you want to do something intimate you should cuddle with me or give me a kiss or piss on my lap.

It’s opposite day! I’ll stand up and pretend I’ve got a dick and you’ll squat down and pretend you don’t.

I always wondered what it’s like peeing with a dick. Can I hold yours?

Oh my god, I’m so sorry- I know you’re dying to blow me, but- I’m gonna piss on you if you don’t let me go to the restroom soon-

So, what’s your explanation for this shit again? Right, I get that you’re a lonely virgin who’s got a thing for pillowhumping- but for god’s sake- can’t you actually use the bathroom like a normal person instead of pissing in our apartment? You’re putting the pillow in the washer. I’m not touching it.

We don’t have to take a break for you to go to the bathroom. Your pants are off and your dick is already out, go ahead. Just not on my face.

Good idea: going hiking with your friends
Bad idea: drinking two waterbottles beforehand and forgetting forests don’t have bathrooms

I gotta queue up more shit send suggestions

If you can’t get your belt off just unzip your pants and pull out your dick! I don’t feel like having to clean up piss-soaked jeans!

Dude, I piss in the shower all the time, too. Just because we’re showering together doesn’t mean you should keep holding it.

Why’d you stop? ….you need to piss?? Oh, fuck you! If you’re gonna cum in me you might as well piss too! Just hurry the hell up and keep going!

I said no. You aren’t going to ruin this date by going to the bathroom again! Just sit still and watch the damn movie! –yknow what? If you’re gonna make such a scene just take my empty soda cup.