#watersp0rts

What’s wrong, babe? Hm. Morning wood? Why don’t I suck you off and then let you empty your bladder on my tits?

The plane is landing, you can’t get out of your seat. Look… I know you have to go. I feel bad, and- I’ve got an empty cup, if you can go in front of all these people.

Like I said. You still have an hour to wait until I let you take a piss. Can’t hold it?? Good.

Oh no, looks like the bathroom is already locked. You can’t hold it? Well we are in the middle of the park you know. Why don’t you go pee in the woods over there? It’s either that or your pants.

Take my thumb off? No, you gotta get my permission before I let you piss!! Tell me how bad you have to go. Describe it.

I love you too but it’d be wrong to surrender my virginity before marriage. If you want to do something intimate you should cuddle with me or give me a kiss or piss on my lap.

It’s opposite day! I’ll stand up and pretend I’ve got a dick and you’ll squat down and pretend you don’t.

I always wondered what it’s like peeing with a dick. Can I hold yours?

Oh my god, I’m so sorry- I know you’re dying to blow me, but- I’m gonna piss on you if you don’t let me go to the restroom soon-

So, what’s your explanation for this shit again? Right, I get that you’re a lonely virgin who’s got a thing for pillowhumping- but for god’s sake- can’t you actually use the bathroom like a normal person instead of pissing in our apartment? You’re putting the pillow in the washer. I’m not touching it.

We don’t have to take a break for you to go to the bathroom. Your pants are off and your dick is already out, go ahead. Just not on my face.

Good idea: going hiking with your friends
Bad idea: drinking two waterbottles beforehand and forgetting forests don’t have bathrooms

I gotta queue up more shit send suggestions

If you can’t get your belt off just unzip your pants and pull out your dick! I don’t feel like having to clean up piss-soaked jeans!

Dude, I piss in the shower all the time, too. Just because we’re showering together doesn’t mean you should keep holding it.

Why’d you stop? ….you need to piss?? Oh, fuck you! If you’re gonna cum in me you might as well piss too! Just hurry the hell up and keep going!

I said no. You aren’t going to ruin this date by going to the bathroom again! Just sit still and watch the damn movie! –yknow what? If you’re gonna make such a scene just take my empty soda cup.

You have to pee? That’s fine, you can just go while I blow you!

I know I said I’d burn that ugly suit of yours, but maybe we can piss on it instead?

I don’t think the person using that bathroom is gonna be done soon enough. Why don’t you just unzip your pants and go right here?