#winter soldier x reader imagine

plot: bucky is the stableboy and you are the princess and the both of you are in love. bucky needs to leave the kingdom before he is hanged for a crime, but you don’t let him leave without you.

A/N:i haven’t posted on here in a long while. i hadn’t even logged onto tumblr until a month or so ago. it was a compilation of life happening and also i don’t know if i still feel passionate about harry as i used to. i’ve always been writing stories that i wish i could live through, and the past year, i have gone through some of the motions of what i always wanted. it’s strange to come back a whole different person. but i’ve never stopped loving writing, and everyone still following this little blog, and i hope this is the beginning of something more. anyways, this isn’t even about harry. i watched the falcon and the winter soldier  and fell in love with sebastian stan. what can i say. i thought it would be better to post it randomly than have it sit in my google docs. hope u enjoy xx

tw: mentions of attempted assault

The nights in the castle are always quiet, and this never used to bother Bucky—hell, he was even thankful for the quiet after everything he’s been through—but tonight, the silence was eating him alive.

“Doll,” he tries, but the sound gets lost halfway across the room. It’s dark, but he can still see you shaking as you crouch down over Rafe’s body, his blood pooling all the way to the soles of his boots. “Doll—”

“He’s dead.”

It’s the first thing you say that night that isn’t a scream. And he almost wishes it was, because the voice that comes out of your mouth as you whirl around to face him doesn’t sound like you at all. He watches you look down at your hands, covered in a fresh coat of blood, and panic courses through his veins.

And suddenly, he’s on his knees in front of you. “It’ll be okay. Look at me. It’ll be okay.”

You don’t believe him. You’re practically hiccuping with fear as you glance back at the body, and then at him, and back again. Bucky lifts a hand to touch you, but stops when he realizes that his hands are coated in blood too. 

But that wasn’t even the worst of it. The knuckles on his right hand were torn open, and he doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel the hurt at all. He makes sure to hide the frown on his face when you look back at him.

“W-What are we going to do?” you ask. You’re dizzy, and you’re certain that if it wasn’t for the dead body on your bedroom floor that you would’ve passed out by now. You clear your throat and try again. “Bucky, what are we—”

He interrupts you. “We’re not going to do anything.” You furrow your eyebrows as you watch him rise and walk over to the bathroom. You hear the faucet run. You think about the blood flowing down the drain, and it makes you sick.

“Bucky?” You go after him and stand at the threshold between the two rooms. He’s scrubbing his hands furiously. “Bucky, what do you mean we’re not going to do anything? He’s fucking dead. We have to—”

And that word is like an arrow in the middle of his back because he shuts off the sink and spins around to face you in an instant. His chest is heaving as he waves a wet finger at you and says, “There is no we in this, Y/N. I killed him. I cracked his skull open. It is my fingerprints around his neck, okay? You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be perfect.”

“What?” He barrels past you. And that is when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. You can’t help but let out a gasp.

Your hair is falling loosely around your face, braids be damned. Bruises line all the way around your neck from where he, Rafe, had tried to make you his. Fingernail marks on your collar bones. You don’t want to lift your dress to find out what more of himself he left on you. 

Or what more he could’ve taken if Bucky hadn’t heard your cries and came crashing into your bedroom at the right moment.

You hear the sound of your closet door shutting.

“Bucky, what are you doing?”

He has his bag on your bed and around it, everything of his that you have come to cherish in the past few months. “Darling?”

Bucky pauses at that name. He can’t even lift his head to look at you as he says these next words. “Y/N, I will hang for this. They won’t understand. I will be dead by morning.”

“Don’t say that,” you whisper.

“But it’s true!” He tears his hands through his hair and you are by his side in a second. You hold him as he falls to the ground in tears, hands over his face to hide his fear from you. “Doll, I killed a man. I killed him! I could’ve stopped when I got him off you but… but I didn’t. When I heard your scream and came in a-and saw h-him, I-I—”

You squeeze him tighter as he sobs. You don’t care that you’re both covered in blood. You need him to know you love him. 

“Bucky, you saved me,” you cry. “You saved me. If you hadn’t come in, I… “ Tears spill down your cheeks, but you brush them away and take a deep breath in. “Rafe would’ve been dead soon, anyway. Once my family finds out what he tried to do… it’s only a matter of time before his head is on the chopping block. You did nothing wrong. You saved me, you hear that?”

Bucky turns to face you and you half-expect him to kiss you and tell you that you’re right, and he’s going to be okay, and that this night will just disappear into a bad dream. But his expression hardens and he’s looking down at his hands.

“Even if that were true—”

“It is.”

He sighs. “Nobody would believe me.”

“Buck, what do you mean? They’ll believe me when I tell them what Rafe tried to do.”

“Y/N.” You wince slightly at the sound of your name coming out of his mouth. He rarely called you Y/N. Always Doll. “How do I explain why I was in your corridor at such a late hour, huh? Hell, your maids aren’t even allowed up here in the middle of the night. How would I explain to them that I was near you because I can’t possibly be away from you. That I’ve laid in your bed more times than I can count? They’ll hang me for that regardless. I’m as good as dead.”

“So what now?” You feel your frustration growing. “You’re just going to hand them your head, then? Tie the noose around your own damned neck, huh? Is that what we’re doing now?”

Bucky clenches his fists. “There’s no we, doll. You’re safe from all of this. You’re the fucking princess—”

“Don’t call me that,” you snap. He whips his head up at the change in tone. “I told you to never call me that.”

He laughs and it’s daggers to your heart. “Well, Y/N, you can’t escape who you are. You are the princess and I’m just a stableboy and I should’ve never come close to you. It was my mistake.”

“It was a mistake,” you repeat, the words poison on your lips. “I was a mistake. You regret falling in love with me—”

“Don’t.”

“No, that’s what you said, wasn’t it?” You feel as if you are about to throw up. “You made a mistake, and you wished this all never happened, right?”

“Doll—”

“Don’t touch me.” You shrink away from his grasp and he looks up at you wounded. You think you can taste blood on your tongue. The room is spinning. “You don’t get to touch me after wishing you never did.”

Bucky presses his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean that. I love you. You know I love you so goddamn much I can’t live without you. Waking up next to you every morning is the only reason why I’m not yet dead. But…”

You have your arms crossed over your chest. “But what?” 

“But this was never going to end happily, was it?” His blue eyes are black in the darkness of the room. “This was always going to end with you married off to the prince of god only knows what kingdom, and me left behind. Or you married off, and me hanging in the square.”

“That’s not true,” you choke back a sob. “You and I were going to get married. Are. You and I are going to get married.”

Bucky pleads softly, “Don’t lie to me now, doll, I can’t take it.”

“I’m not lying to you.” You lay a hand on his cheek. “I would never lie to you. Please believe me.”

He holds your gaze for a long moment, and you think you have him convinced. But then at the last second he pulls away and he’s on his feet and throwing his things in the bag again. “If I want to live to see you again, I have to leave now. If I take Shadow, I can get to the next town sometime around dawn.”

You look up at him. Your voice is so soft you can barely hear it. “And then?”

But he does. “And then I’ll bribe my way onto a ship. I can disappear once I’m off this land. Even your father wouldn’t waste money on sending troops across the ocean.”

“And what about me?”

Bucky’s hands come to a still. He doesn’t look down at you. “I’ll write. Under a different name, of course, but I’ll write once I settle down somewhere, I promise.”

You shake your head. “Not good enough.”

“And I’ll come back one day,” he presses, shoving his t-shirt, the one you’ve been wearing for the past few weeks, into the bag. It will smell of you, he knows. “When the dust has settled. When everybody forgets my face, I’ll relocate to a town nearby and….” he turns his head to you, “and I’ll pray every single day to see you again.”

He sinks down to the floor and presses his forehead against yours. “I love you so fucking much. You will always have my heart.”

“Please don’t leave me,” you beg, gripping onto his shirt. You feel a tear drip down to your chin, but you’re not sure if it’s from him or you. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Doll,” he cries. “You know it’s killing me right now to think of a world without you. But this is the only way I can ever see you again. I can’t stay.”

“There has to be another way.” You’re holding onto him desperately. It’s taking everything in Bucky not to fall into you because he knows if he does, there will be no chance of him ever letting go. “We belong to each other. This can’t be how it ends.”

His lips are trembling as he pulls away from you. “I will see you again one day. I promise.”

And then it just falls out of your mouth. “Let me come with you.”

Bucky’s heart nearly stops. “What?”

“Let me come with you,” you say, more determinedly. “We can start again somewhere. Build a new life.”

“Doll, I don’t know about that.”

“Why?” The room around you is no longer spinning because your head is clear. You were going to leave with Bucky. “We’ll just do everything that you just said. Together.” You push yourself off the ground. “Give me a few minutes to gather some things and we’ll leave, okay?”

“No, Y/N,” Bucky follows you to the wardrobe. “Sweetheart, no. You can’t come with me. You can’t leave.”

You are barely processing what he’s saying because your mind has been made up. “Bucky, go get my necklace by the sink for me. It’s my mother’s, I can’t leave it behind.”

“No.”

“Fine, I’ll go get it later.”

“Y/N, can you stop for a second? Can you look at me?”

You turn to face him. He inhales shakily. “I can’t let you do this for me. I can’t let you leave your home and everything you have ever known for me, you hear? It’s not worth it.”

“Bucky, you are worth it,” you press. “I’d rather sleep on the streets with you than in this castle alone.”

“But I don’t want you to sleep on the streets!” He nearly throws his hands up in frustration. “I don’t want you to know what it’s like to… to live anywhere outside of here!”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t think I can make it outside? Because I can. I don’t need anything or anyone except you.”

He raises his eyebrows. “What about your mother? Your father? Your brothers? What about them?”

You hesitate for a second. “I can come back to see them in a few years, like you said. I can send letters—”

“You can’t send letters. What don’t you understand? They’re not just going to let you run away! They might not send soldiers on a ship for me but for you? The kingdom’s sole heiress? The princess—?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“The king will sail to every single land himself to find you.”

Silence.

And then: “Do you love me?”

Bucky blinks. He doesn’t even know how to respond to that.

“Do you love me?” You repeat flatly.

“I-I… of course I love you.”

“Then I’m coming with you. End of discussion.”

“Doll—”

“End of discussion. Now go get my necklace, will you? The sun’s going to come up soon. We’ll need to leave immediately.”

Bucky’s frozen in place. He watches as you slip out of your nightgown and tug on a pair of trousers. You don’t even hesitate to push past your ballroom gowns and reach into the back of your closet instead to dig out more plain tees.

He doesn’t even let his heart lurch at the possibility of spending forever with you, because of one little poisonous thought in his brain: “I don’t want you to fall out of love with me.”

You pause, mid-step into your boots. “Buck, there’s never going to happen.”

“If I take you away from here, one day it will. One day, you’ll wake up and realize that I can’t give you anything more than my love. I can’t give you a castle with servants and a feast for every dinner and diamonds for your wrists and one day, maybe not today, but one day you’ll hate me for it. I can’t live without you, but I would rather be away from you than watch you fall out of love with me.”

You smile sadly, “If you leave me tonight, I will never forgive you. But if you let me come with you, I promise I will never stop loving you. I just need to be with you for the rest of my life. Please let me.”

And Bucky can’t stop himself anymore.

He closes the space between the two of you and presses his lips onto yours. You taste of salt and tears and copper and blood and love and love and love. “I love you,” he says between kisses. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Promise me you’ll never leave me.”

“I swear on my life.”