Request: Anon- Bucky Barnes and “I love you more than anything in this world” pleas❤️
Word Count: 502
Author: Charlotte
Hospitals rooms were almost like a second home for you. Fighting crime and being a general badass led to regular injuries and as long as you could come out of the hospital at some point it seemed like a win. Whenever you went on missions, you were almost certain to get hurt, so you just hoped for minor injuries but this time it wasn’t as you had wanted. You had been distracted in the midst of a fight that you hadn’t noticed a different person with a gun. The bullet had ripped through your abdomen, leaving you in a pool of your own blood. You had luckily not been alone, and Bucky had been able to take them both out before getting you medical assistance, but past him calling for help, you had lost consciousness.
When you had awoken, the bright lights of the hospital room burned your eyes terribly. Next to you sat Bucky, whilst a woman in a nurse’s uniform stood sorting out the machine that you were hooked up to. You tried to sit up, but both of the people rushed to your side to gently push you back into the bed.
“You need your rest,” the nurse said softly. “You have been given some pretty strong pain medication, so you might feel drowsy or confused. I’ll just go get your doctor to explain everything for you now that you’re awake.”
She shuffled out of the room, leaving you alone with Bucky. He seemed relieved to see you awake, having seen the extent of the damage that the shot had done to you.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
The nurse had been right, your mind seemed like it was in a fog, and you didn’t seem to have any energy to fight off the thoughts that came into your head from escaping out of your mouth.
“I’m glad you’re here,” you smiled, struggling to keep your eyes fully open. “I wouldn’t want anyone else here.”
Bucky didn’t really know what you meant seen as you hadn’t answered his question at all.
“Of course, I wasn’t going to leave you here on your own.”
You lazily held onto his hand, your grip weak and half of your fingers fallen from his palm.
“I love you more than anything in this world,” you whispered.
It had been something you had felt for as long as you had known him but seen as you were unable to control your thoughts, you let yourself say more than you had ever thought you could until you regretted it all when the medication had worn off. Little had you known, he had felt the same, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed to learn of your feelings now that you weren’t fully there in your mind.
With a pained heart, he gave your hand a tight squeeze. “When you feel better, we can talk about it.”
You nodded your head before your eyelids finally became too heavy for you to fight to keep open.
Request: Anon- Bucky Barnes and “I put everything on hold for you”
Word Count: 1070
Author: Charlotte
As they saying goes ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You couldn’t have agreed any less with that status. When you first met James Buchanan Barnes, you fell head over heels and your courtship was completely perfect in your eyes. He had a kind and loving heart, and made you feel good about yourself in ways you hadn’t without him. You couldn’t have imagined life without him, not even when he was to head off to war, you felt unstoppable, and would have sworn that he would come home to you, and you only felt that confirmed when he proposed to you before he got on the train to leave for the army.
By no means were you naïve. You knew the dangers of war, even with the main fight far away from you, you were not blind to the damage it was causing but the fog of young love forbade you from thinking that even war could get in the way of the two of you. How blind you had been. He didn’t return to you and the reality of that never truly set in, such an intense pain could not be felt without destroying you. Steve apologised for losing him, for not having done more but you didn’t blame him, you were just grateful that he was safe.
Your life crumbled from that day. Who you had been as the future Mrs Barnes was lost with your fiancé, and you were just left as a shell of the person you once were. You needed a distraction and Steve introduced you to his friend Peggy who was able to find you a job and once he disappeared, you only went deeper into it.
Once the war ended, the rumours of something continuing to rumble under the surface and as people had once believed the research into super soldiers weren’t put on hold. You had nothing else to live for and put yourself forward for being a guinea pig, not caring about what happened to you. You didn’t die though, you suffered the experiments, but you came out as a new you, still damaged by the pain in your heart, still grieving and anger-filled but now with unknown levels of powers. The scientists had put you through strenuous tests after to see what had happened to you, and as your powers became clearer, you did what your fiancé had always done best, fought for the little guy.
You’d never be Captain America, but you were a hero to New York, able to use your powers for good, keeping your head down in fighting crime, never getting close to another person again. One power they hadn’t anticipated was longevity. It wasn’t clear at first, not until everyone around you had aged a decade, and you looked like not a day had passed. With every year it only became clearer that you were still physically in your mid-twenties whilst everyone else continued to age. Over seven decades later, you could only be grateful for having not made connections as those you had grown up with were mainly passed, whilst you looked like you were still in your prime.
It felt like you would be hero for eternity, keeping to yourself but helping all that you could. One night you returned to your small apartment and flicked on the tv to see that Steve Rogers had exited the ice and all the past came back. You didn’t contact him. You couldn’t but after he was making headlines for a few years, you no longer had a choice as he had heard of the woman with powers in his hometown and investigated. He could have never imagined that it would be you. You reconnected reluctantly but dismissed him whenever he mentioned Bucky, not believing him when he told you he was still alive and not willing to let yourself get hurt again.
Steve knew how much you cared about Bucky and wasn’t going to let you continue to dwell in the pain that had consumed you for nearly a century. He invited you to the Avengers Compound, just for a chat, and you agreed, not realising it was a set up. You sat with him sipping at your coffee when the door behind Steve opened, revealing the man you had mourned for longer than you had been by his side.
“Bucky,” you croaked, the mug from your hand dropping, shattering onto the ground below you.
“Y/N,” he said, a pained smile curling onto his lips.
Every emotion that you had tried to bury deep down within you all that time ago reappeared and you lost all control that you had tried to cling onto. You pushed your chair away from the table, storming over towards the man you had never believed that you would see again.
“I thought you were dead,” you shouted. “I thought that I would never see you again. I put everything on hold for you.”
Bucky and Steve exchanged a look, having not had any idea that you would react like this, not knowing why you would shout at him.
“I have never stopped loving you,” you said, still shouting but tears beginning to fall down your cheek. “I could never stop loving you.”
As the sorrow you had tried to hide for so long surged from within you, Bucky reached out a hand to gently touch your shoulder, forcing you to make eye contact with him, both of you in tears.
“I’ve always loved you, doll,” he smiled tearfully.
You let yourself break, falling into his arms, in a tight, long missed embrace. The two of you stood entwined together for longer than normal, neither of you wanting to let go of the one thing that had been missing from you. The hug stretched on as Bucky guided his hands down your arms to hold onto your own hands, but paused when he felt something on your finger. He looked down at the small stone sitting on a simple band that had not been removed since he had placed it there all those years ago.
“You still have your ring,” he whispered, surprised that you had kept it for so long.
You shrugged your shoulders. “Getting cold feet after all this time, Barnes?”
A small laugh escaped him.
“I still stick by making you my wife even after the longest engagement.”
Bucky observed fascinated how all the little girls danced at their ballet lesson, speccially how his little girl did. Shine could be appreciated in Bucky’s eyes. He had been a good dancer when he lived in Brooklyn, so dancing for him was something special.
“Fathers, it’s your turn.” said your daughter’s teacher, raising his hands in an attempt to introduce them into the dance. The brown-haired girl run into Bucky’s arms, wanting to come back to his lesson.
“Follow my steps, daddy. Do whatever I do.” she said when they both reach out their positions.
Although he had never practiced ballet, it was quite cute to imitate the little girl’s movements.
Author’s Note: I don’t know how many times I’m going to say this, but I am terribly sorry for being gone for so long. But I am glad to be back, I do hope that you guys enjoy this new chapter.
Warning: Sexual Harassment, please do not read if it could be too much to handle
The entirety of the trip was leaving you with your mind reeling and your heart racing. The monster you’ve spent, knowing now it’s actually been almost two months since you’ve stayed with him, had you thinking more ways than one just how mind boggling he made you feel.
Bucky was courteous, kind, and even cracking jokes with you. Never once did he do that while you were imprisoned in the plantation. Sure you were the one cracking the ever terrible jokes, trying to make the best of everything. But you never thought he would make the jokes, nor even smile when you tried to fire back the jokes he made. Though one thing did tug at your mind, one question that shouldn’t even matter.
“How did you even get all of that money?” You looked to him as you stopped near a red light.
“Nothing you need to worry about.” He answered simply while staring ahead out the window. You sighed to yourself, knowing you weren’t going to get any answer from him.
It was quiet for the next few minutes, the coldness of the AC making goosebumps rise on your skin. No music played on the radio, only the soft breathing of both Bucky and yourself filled the car.
From the distance you could see the outline of the mountain. The place that you knew as your prison just awaiting from your ever growing sadness and anger. You knew not to make yourself angry, especially while enclosed in a car with an ex-assassin.
You snuck a look at him, his features strangely calm looking for a man struggling for his past and fighting for his future. Yet you smirked when thinking of a particular joke from within the store.
“So,” you began, Bucky looked at you, “do you think Ann’s got a sister?”
The atmosphere between you and Bucky had changed, the difference wasn’t significantly humongous but it still mattered to you. He wouldn’t glare towards you as often, the stiff posture he held was slightly more relaxed. If you didn’t know any better, it also seemed he started to lose the ever present grimace on his face.
‘Reminder to self, thank George and Ann next time I see them.’
You sighed to yourself, surprisingly somewhat bored with what the day had became. Usually you were content with exploring the halls of the plantation, with an odd shadow shaped like Bucky following you, but today was merely just a day. You couldn’t even entertain yourself with that strange shadow, he was nowhere in sight.
A thought protruded into your head as you wondered up the stairs to go to your room, finally tired of the day growing into night.
‘Where the hell is his room?’
Your eyes ran down the two halls of the plantation, his room had to be somewhere in that hellhole.
‘Was it that locked room?’
To your body’s own accord it moved towards where you knew to be the locked room. As your hand reached for the door, you could feel the determination set and fill your veins. You weregoing to get into that room if it was the last thing you do. With a deep breath, you turned the nob, and with a short gasp you found the door unlocked.
The door creaked loudly as you pushed it open enough for your head to peak through. Bucky was nowhere to be seen within the old room. You knew what you were doing was the exact thing that could get you killed. Yet the curiosity within you made your actions justified for the time being.
Your eyes began to take in everything; from the map hanging on his wall, his clothes piled neatly in the corner. You expected everything to be a wreck, for the bed to be broken, cloths ripped to shreds, for a monsterto have destroyed the room. But no, it was uncommonly neat looking and you couldn’t help but feel ashamed for thinking that it should have been in ruins just because of the things he had done in the past.
Sighing, you furthered yourself into the room, curious as to what else he held within it. As you made your way closer to his bed, what you could make out from the moonlight were journals strewn across the bedding, next to it a black backpack.
Should you have even bothered to open them, no, but did you open them anyway, yes. It was in your nature to wonder and in your blood to read. Surely he wasn’t going to fault you for ‘accidentally’ opening his journals.
You grabbed the first journal on your right, sticky notes sticking out from the pages and dog-ears making some of the pages lump. A slight scowl formed on your lips when seeing the dog-ears.
‘Of course he fucking dog-ears his pages.’
As you opened to the front page, the first thing you see was a handmade table-of-contents.
-Begininning
-Childhood
-Steve?
-War
-Blood
You couldn’t even get through the first page when hearing the door behind you open more.
“What are you doing in here?”
His voice startles you to the point where you jump, dropping his journal in the process. You turn to him and see his eyes widen in realization as to what you were exactly doing.
Bucky rushes to the bed, grabbing his journals hurriedly and placing them within the backpack.
“I-I’m sorry-“
He cuts you off with a roar, “Get out! Get! Out!”
The sheer anger you felt from him terrified you to death. The only thing you could think of was to flee, to get as far away as you could from him. At that moment, you truly do believed he was the monster people made him out to be.
Your mind is reeling in terror, your body pushing itself to find the nearest place of safety. It didn’t even occur to you as you ran past Philippe to take him and go home. You only wanted to be away from him, from the man you believed to be changing.
The moon was the only light you had to help you traverse the wooden land of the Virginian woods. At this point you were only running aimlessly, your body couldn’t stop even if you wanted it to.
Your eyes squinted when seeing faint florescent lights in the distance. Finally you forced your energy drained body to slow down, your lungs screaming for air as your mind screamed for understanding of the situation at hand.
‘I should leave, I should leave and go find dad.’
The lights grew clearer and clearer as you walked towards them. To your relief, a gas station stood lit brightly, a beacon of some sort for your tired self.
You huffed heavily as you neared the curb, you tried your damnedest to not let what had just happened to get to you. Yet once the dam holding back tears broke, you couldn’t stop them, they ran freely as you hiccuped and took in shaky breaths.
‘Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I can’t do this anymore.’
You’re trying to calm yourself as you hear footsteps near you. Looking up from the ground you see a group of men walking towards you. You could feel your heart race when seeing them come closer.
If it was any other day, you knew what your exact response would be to these men. A simple yet strong, ‘Fuck off and fuck you,’ would’ve sufficed. But once again, fate never wanted to play nicely.
It was nighttime, you were alone, and nowhere near civilization.
The wolf whistles from the men made you close into yourself. Hastily you wiped away the tears to steel yourself into not showing these wolves your sadden eyes.
A ‘Hey, baby,’ a mere ‘Why are you all by yourself?’ and a ‘You look so beautiful tonight, darlin’’ made bile rise in your throat. Now only did you wish you stayed within the ‘safe’ confines of the plantation.
You try to smile at these men, no, wolveswith hungry eyes and unforgiving actions, “I’m just waiting for my friend fellows, I’d like to be alone.”
There’s tsk’ing as you requested them to leave you alone.
“Please, I don’t want any trouble.” You beg slightly, your body was in the stages of fight or flight when hearing them chuckling.
Your stomach is churning, your heart beating painfully in your chest, and your lungs ready to burst at any moment from the looks in these mens’ eyes.
The man closet to you grabs your arm, his hands are rough against your bare skin, the others are laughing as you’re trying pulling away from him.
“Aw, baby don’t be that way.” The man’s voice sent chills down your spine. He tries to pull you closer into his embrace. The familiar stench of alcohol coated his breath as he tried to pull you into him again.
You hit him, yelling, “Let go of me!” You could feel the tears starting again as his tightens his grip on your arm.
He jerks you harshly, “Feisty little bitchyou are, might have to take care of that.” The others continue to laugh along, as if they’re use to seeing this, that it was a regular Friday night for them.
You continue your actions, screaming, pleadingfor help you just knew that wasn’t coming. Your hands clashed with the man’s body, his face, anything you could injure to get away. But the laughter kept coming as you kept fighting.
Out of nowhere you hear a car screeching to a stop, with it a righteous slam of a door.
Your eyes are too clouded with tears to notice who came from the car. But soon enough you realize just who it is once all the men were on the ground. Many of them groveling in pain or unconscious from the administrations from the man standing in front of you, his eyes filled with concern.
It’s Bucky, he’s standing in front of you, slightly out of breath but there nonetheless. He grabs your hand gently, then leads you to the car. With gentle touches he buckles you in and walks to the driver side of the car. You stare numbingly onto the dashboard, clearly trying to process the last couple of hours.
Ever so slowly, your eyes move across the dashboard, finding that the car to look strangely familiar. You look towards where the keys should be, but finding nothing there.
Out of everything that should have been said at that moment, you ask, “Did you hot-wire Philippe?”
You look at Bucky to see him shake his head slightly.
“Yes.”
A late August rain rolled in as you and Bucky comforted yourself inside the confines of the mini library. You watch as Bucky tries to clean up his ever present wound. A soft grumble parts his lips as he tries to wipe away the blood.
Carefully you move towards him, a wet rag in hand, “Here… just let me do this.”
Touching the wound softly you hear him yell out in pain.
“That hurts!”
You counter him, “Maybe if you held still and let me do this it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
“Maybe if you didn’t run away, this wouldn’t have happened!” He replies quickly, already annoyed with the argument at hand.
“Well if you didn’t scare me, I wouldn’t have ran away!” You try to clean his wound again until he counters you once more.
“Then you shouldn’t have gone into my room, or looked at my belongings!” He looks at you, relentless in proving that he was right in what he did. Even if he knew what he did was clearly wrong.
You scoff, “Well, you need to learn to control your damn temper!”
Bucky opens his mouth to respond but quickly closes it when found at a loss for words. You roll your eyes, knowing you won and he is giving up with the argument.
“Just please hold still Bucky, it might sting a bit…” You move the rag towards the wound once more, you feel his body jolt slightly from the stinging. Continuing your actions, you move to press the rag on another part of the gash. “I, I am sorry though for looking at your journal…”
You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you, you didn’t dare look up at him, there was just too much more to say to him.
“They, those pigs what we sadly call men…” You could feel your heart beating slightly faster when thinking of them, “I just,” you pause for a second before finally looking up at him, “thank you for saving me, Bucky.”
His face was stoic but his eyes showed every emotion he felt, mainly the mere shock of you thanking him had shown itself.
Author’s Note: Okay, so, I SUCK a bunch and cannot for the life of me get stuff out in time. I’m truly sorry for getting this out literally almost two months late. Also please do forgive me for not answering back to messages, I’m working and I can’t always have the time to be on here.
I promise to answer any questions or messages I have tomorrow, then to whomever finds it fitting, can ‘yell’ at me.
To make up, this is BY FAR the longest chapter for BATB. Not to mention this is also one of the fluffiest pieces for this fanfiction so far.
Italicized of course means what you’re thinking, exception of the first few paragraphs. I suggest reading the previous chapter before reading this.
As you continued to glance around the room, your eyes made their way to the forgotten book on the floor. Curiosity filled every nerve within you as you knelt down towards the floor to retrieve the book.
Its pages were worn and yellowed, dust still covered some parts of it as you skimmed it from the back to the front. As you closed the book, the name ‘Emily Dickinson’ jumped at you in the form of cursive letters. A small smirk edged its way onto your lips when realizing the ‘cold-blooded’ Barnes was reading poems from the infamous Dickinson.
It was peculiar nonetheless when thinking about him reading such things. You would have thought that as a person who has done such horrid crimes would have no thought about the matter of poems; the only things to cloud his mind were to be of murder and rotting beings, but to say that you were pleasantly surprised would have been an understatement.
You have already spent just a day with him and as much as you should have been more petrified of him, you couldn’t help but to bring yourself wanting to help him more than ever.
As much as you wanted to return to your father, you could just see the start of something deeper within the confined mind of James Barnes.
Days filled with hidden agendas, nights full with fear inducing pain; it was everything that he was made of at this point. No light could wriggle its way into his life. The only thing he knew was the dark pain brought upon from the past.
Bright mornings with coffee filled kitchens, nights bare from any danger from monsters under the bed; you were safe, safe as can be with a caring father such as yours. Life had its monsters already dealing with your inner turmoil, but nothing could teeter your strong progress in life.
But the monsters, breathing heavy and blood thirsty, they always found their way to deal the worst of fates to those so undeserving of its wrath.
Weeks passed since Bucky’s episode of the infamous thousand yard stare. You would be on constant surveillance to see if the poor ex-assassin was having another episode. Yet during those weeks, it wasn’t the during the day you needed to worry about. The night served as the most gruesome of times as you would hear his screams echo into the darkness.
You should have helped him when his first nightmare surfaced. But your own fear of what he could do when being brought out of those stomach churning terrors had paralyzed you into a stupor of your own.
It was after every morning since those following weeks that you’ve seen his harden glare turn into something more human. His eyes were filled with exhaustion, fear, and anger; the reasons for those feelings became more apparent when he’d scream of the pain he faced during the night before.
Cautiously, you watched his tired yet rigid body enter the kitchen. The bags under his eyes became deeper over time, Bucky’s appearance began to show the true age he should be.
“Morning.” You spoke softly, you had learned the hard way that he was in fact no morning person after a night of terror.
He didn’t respond, he simply nodded his head towards you, his greasy brown locks falling over his eyes once more. You watched as he made his way towards the small pantry. Instantly you could tell as he threw his head back a little that he was annoyed.
“Hey,” you called for him, his steely blues quickly shifted towards your leaning body, “we need to go out to get supplies, this is the last bit of food.” Slowly, you pushed an open can of tangerines towards him.
Bucky eyed the can suspiciously, “Did you poison it?”
Your eyes widened as you almost spat out your food, “Are you kidding me! I’m eating from the same can!”
He shrugged, as if it was a common question he had asked, “I’ll repeat myself again, did you poison it?”
“No!” You yelled incredulously, even after spending a month with him, Bucky had said very little to you and for what he did decide to say, it always left you wondering what he had experienced to be thinking in such a manner.
Bucky decided to just address your loudness with another shrug as he grabbed the half eaten can of food. “Fine,” he spoke with a full mouth, “but you’re coming with me, I am not leaving you here by yourself.”
“What are you, scared I’ll leave you?” You quipped back, highly annoyed that he’d think that you would do such a thing. Surely you couldalways escape if he decided to go alone to get supplies. But, the thought of your father’s safety was too important to you to jeopardize.
‘I miss him… I’ll come back someday.’
You were about to traverse darker roads within your mind until hearing Bucky’s voice cut through to you.
“Come on, we have to leave now before it gets too late.” He was standing by the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyebrows were furrowed towards your dazed expression. Bucky cocked his head slightly to the left, signaling for you to follow him. Quick to your feet, you began to trail him towards the front door. He began to throw on his coat as well as his baseball cap when there.
“Woah, wait right there Barnes.” You skidded to a stop when finally passing the dinged mirror by the front door. He turned to you to see your slightly disturbed looking face.
His eyebrows furrowed further under the cap, “Why are you stopping me?” Bucky seemed to go into a defensive mode as you held your hands up in a surrendering manner.
“Look at us, I know you don’t want to attract attention to yourself, but with how we’re looking, we’re going to catch a few eyes.” You explained slowly.
“That’s why I wear this?” He said, somewhat confused with what you meant.
You sighed, “It’s not just the clothes, we look disgusting, we need to clean up some before going out into the public.”
He seemed to finally grasp what you were saying as he began to shrug off his jacket. Bucky pointed towards the back door, in large strides he was already down the long hallway and motioning for you to once again follow him. As you caught up to him, his mouth was stretched into a tight line.
“Where are we going?” You questioned as you shifted uncomfortably under his stern glare.
“You said we needed to clean up.” Bucky spoke vaguely as he opened the kitchen’s backdoor. For the first time since the encounter in the basement, he grabbed your shoulder, the cold metal shocking you slightly. You had no idea if he used his metal appendage as a form of being dominate or if he was actually scared to use his flesh hand to touch you. Either way it saddened you slightly at the thought of him being both scared and having the need to be in control of a situation as simple as this.
Bucky was slowly guiding you towards the forrest, it was a natural instinct for you to tense when he lead you towards the wooded fortress.
“I’m not going to kill you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” His gruff voice spoke lowly, he seemed even more annoyed now.
Author’s Note: Okay, so at least this isn’t coming out months later… Whoops. But with summer coming up, I’ve been working more, so I haven’t had the time to come on. And if you guys are up for this, please let me know what ya thought, cause it’s still very hard to get this out here when I think no one likes it. BUT I do really hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Bucky opens his mouth to respond but quickly closes it when found at a loss for words. You roll your eyes, knowing you won and he is giving up with the argument.
“Just please hold still Bucky, it might sting a bit…” You move the rag towards the wound once more, you feel his body jolt slightly from the stinging. Continuing your actions, you move to press the rag on another part of the gash. “I, I am sorry though for looking at your journal…”
You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you, you didn’t dare look up at him, there was just too much more to say to him.
“They, those pigs what we sadly call men…” You could feel your heart beating slightly faster when thinking of them, “I just,” you pause for a second before finally looking up at him, “thank you for saving me, Bucky.”
His face was stoic but his eyes showed every emotion he felt, mainly the mere shock of you thanking him had shown itself.
“Anytime, Y/N.”
It’s been weeks now ever since that incident at the gas station, since you last stepped foot in his room, and ever since then, Bucky has become more soft spoken towards you.
You thought he was making progress before the ‘wolves’. Yet now you can clearly see the difference with him. May that he doesn’t smile, the look in his eyes tells you that he is now not as haunted.
‘Although he still looks pretty spooked to me… God progress doesn’t have to be drastic, get it together,Y/N.’
You shake your head to rid yourself any thoughts of him, or the progress he was making. There was a goal you wanted to accomplish that evening before Bucky came back from his walk in the forest. The new hobby of his allowed you time for yourself and frankly you didn’t mind him being gone. You knew you weren’t going to go anywhere, for the safety of yourself andyour father.
It was a risk thinking about your father. How you’ve missed him; the way he’d cook your favorite dinners, how he would sing awfully to your favorite songs, and even when he’d make impromptu trips to anywhere and everywhere. You missed him dearly… but you were learning to enjoy the life you were living with Bucky.
‘If that doesn’t scream Stockholm Syndrome, I don’t know what does.’
A small chuckle leaves your lips, as much as you didn’t want to believe it, you really were starting to enjoy your utterly fucked up situation you were in. Bucky was hilarious when he didn’t even mean to be, sometimes you would forget he is suppose to be an ex-assassin for an evil organization. More so he seemed like the cute old guy who was always marveled at those ‘fancy gadgets’ the younglings played with this day and age.
More chuckles left your lips as you remembered the first time when he encountered one of the infamous gadgets of the new age.
It was beginning to get colder as the days passed by, you remember asking Bucky what day it was, he said something along the lines of late September to early October.
He and yourself traveled to town, set on getting some new clothes for the upcoming seasonal change. Along with the clothes, you convinced Bucky to get some autumnal foods from George and Ann.
“You promised, Bucky.” You walked side by side with him as the two of you made your way to George and Ann’s store.
Bucky scoffed, “I know I promised, it doesn’t mean we have to go there every time we go into town to get supplies.”
A grin made its way onto your face, you knew for a fact he didn’t mind visiting the old couple. He just loved to gripe about it and make it seem that he actually did mind going.
“Come on, I heard from Ann a while ago that she made peach cobbler from the last bit of fresh peaches in the area!” You tried to wiggle your eyebrows at him before he scoffed under his breath, choosing to ignore you.
He takes the lead and walks to the door, putting on the act once more of being the perfect boyfriend.
“Thank you, babe.” You chuckle when seeing his scowl return to his face when hearing you call him that. Before he could retort back with a snide comment, the two of you see the lovely couple emerge from the back room, arms full of boxes yet faces brimmed with smiles. “Good afternoon, George, Ann!”
You see the two peak from behind the boxes, just as you were about to ask them if they needed help, Bucky strolls up to them, taking all the boxes with ease. George looks astonished by Bucky’s mere strength as Ann nodded appreciatively.
A giggle erupts from you as George snaps his fingers in front of Ann’s face, her attention leaving Bucky’s backside to him. You see her smile and pat George’s face affectionately, “You’re the only strong man for me, hon’.”
George grumbles, “Y/N, better get your lover-boy before he steals Ann from me.”
“It’s okay George, I’m sure my lover-boy doesn’t want to take the lovely Ann from you.” You’re laughing as you gather some fresh produce from their front windows. It’s a nice quiet you’ve learned to appreciate as the time went by. Just as you were about to grab another apple, a loud ‘FUCK’ made you drop the green fruit.
Bucky is clutching his chest as he stares down the microwave beside him. His eyes dart from it to you, you’re honestly too shocked to say a word to him. But by the guess of it, he didn’t know what a microwave was.
“Honey?” You question unsurely.
He nods his head, “Yea, just, uh, the beeping startled me.”
Ann laughs, “Boy, it seems as you never encountered a microwave before?” She nudges George’s arm and he joins her in playful laughter. Bucky laughs along with them, you could see the nervousness in his eyes, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
George and Ann could blow his cover, they’d realize who he was.
“Babe.”
The three of them turn their gazes to you, your hand was outstretched to Bucky, inviting and comforting just for him. You didn’t know why you’d want to comfort him, hell you were still afraid of him.
But it was the look in his eyes that made it worth why you try your hardest to take care of him.
His steps are causal yet cautious when joining you, the heat from his flesh hand was radiating in your palm.
You could feel him lean into your ear, a soft whisper of gratitude made your cheeks heat up.
‘I should probably start teaching him the modern technology soon.’
Head fuzzy with the images from that moment in George and Ann’s shop cloud your judgement of the task at hand. It was when you felt the hot sensation scold your hand that made your haze burst.
“Fuck!” Your hand is painfully hot as you drop the ladle into the pot. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” You’re mumbling profanities as you dip your hand in the cold bucket of water on the counter. A soft sigh of relief breezes past your lips until you hear the distinct pounding of footsteps from Bucky.
Cursing under your breath once more, you rush towards the hot plate. Hoping that you could get the dinner ready in time before he could find you.
Rushing carefully around the counter, you pull two of the dust ridden bowls from the cabinets above head. You grimace when seeing just how much dust was leftover on them from decades ago.
The pounding of his boots are getting closer and closer to the kitchen, you try not to worry yourself as you push and pull the bowls out from the water bucket.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, why am I even rushing for this man?’
Grabbing the pot’s handles carefully, you begin to pour the homemade soup into the bowl, giving Bucky the most out of the two of you.
You hear the kitchen door swing open just as you finish pouring.
“What are you doing?” His voice is gruff from his afternoon walk, the scent of the forest invaded your nose as he made his way closer to you.
“Pouring dinner, you’re welcome.” With the bowls in hand you turn to him, his body relaxed and face full of scruff, “Come on, it’s homemade.” You lead the way towards the dining room, Bucky walking right behind you.
He coughs, “You didn’t have to cook.”
“I wanted to,” You hum, “not to mention Ann gave me the ingredients for free.”
Bucky wasn’t one to talk during dinner, or for any meal for that matter. Yet you continuously enjoyed his company while you ate, you didn’t have to be alone and neither did he.
He had mumbled a soft ‘goodnight’ as he made his way up to his room. You watched his fatigued figure move up the stairs, your mind and heart already wishing that tonight would be the night that he finally gets rest.
Sighing to yourself you begin to clean up the leftover dishes and leave them to soak within the water bucket in the kitchen.
A shiver makes its way up your back as you make your way upstairs. A sense of dread filling your mind, it was either the darkness consuming your head or the way the moon shone ominously throughout the hallway.
‘It’s okay, it’s going to be a good night.’
You shook your head slightly, trying to get rid of the dark feelings within you. As you try to stall your mind, your eyes cast themselves towards Bucky’s door. It was quiet, he was either just now falling asleep or writing. You could only hope for the latter of things.
A yawn escapes your lips as you crawl your way into the bed, the covers making their way up towards your chin as a form of protection from the cold night.
Your eyes began to droop, your own tiredness catching up once again. It wasn’t long until you were out like a light.
The screams, it was gut-wrenching, soul scarring, heart breaking; you awoke startled to hear his terror filled screams. You looked towards the window to see the moon high in the night sky, Bucky’s nightmare must have just blown into full swing.
You sat there, thinking of all the options you could do, you could stay in your room like you always do and wait out his nightmares, oryou could finally face your own fears and help him.
Your body stilled from your own shaking nerves, you made up your mind, it was now or never to finally help the lost sergeant.
Jumping out of bed, you had the moonlight guide you out and towards his room. The screams were vivid to your heart and soul. You couldn’t help stop the tears forming in your eyes for him.
Quietly you opened his door to find him thrashing in his bed, the blankets strewn onto the floor, and his body drenched in a cold sweat. You swallowed down your nerves and made your way towards him.
Steeling yourself, you sat near his shaking body, your hand hovering over his face.
‘Come on, Y/N, you need to help him.’
“Bucky…” You whispered, your hand caressed his face gently, pushing his damp hair back in the process. He whimpered at the touch, making the tears you thought were gone flow further down your face.
You placed your left hand onto his flesh arm, shaking him gently, “Bucky, please wake up, you’re okay…”
One more gentle caress of his face, “Bucky.”
He jolts forward, causing your body to jump back further onto his bed, your hands raised to show him already that you were no threat.
“Bucky it’s-“
“Get out.” He cuts you off with a stern voice. Bucky’s body is heaving slightly, you could see his eyes are cast down and full of fear.
You shake your head, ready to do whatever needs to be done, “No,” Bucky looks up at you, “I’m not leaving you like this.” Slowly you crawl your way closer to Bucky, you can see his steel blue eyes in the moonlight follow you like a hawk.
“Y/N, I’m telling you, it’s dangerous to be here…” He’s not looking at you anymore, but you see his gaze now cast upon his hands.
“And I’m telling you that I’m not leaving you like this.” You stop where your knees are almost touching, your body language telling him that you’re there to stay.
It’s quiet, you two sit and stare and nothingness until he finally speaks up.
“I’m sorry if I scared you.”
You’re taken aback by him, not at all expecting him to apologize for just having a nightmare, “You don’t have to say you’re sorry Bucky, you didn’t do anything wrong…”
He scoffs, “Keep telling yourself that…” Bucky’s quiet again, you see him shake his head to himself, “Do you understand that you could of really gotten yourself hurt by waking me up?”
“And do you understand how many times I wake up and hear you?” You counter back. You can see the guilt all over his face, his shoulders slump in defeat.
“I,” he sighs softly, the look he gives you shatters your heart, “I need help.”
You nod solemnly, “What can I do to help?”
“I want to remember, I can only think of the never ending pain,” he pauses, “I can only remember what the soldier has done.”
You’re silent once more, the thoughts racing through your head are loud and never ending. You can’t fathom the thoughts Bucky must have racing through his. Slowly you place your hand on his knee, a small comfort you can show him without going overboard.
“In the morning, I promise to help you.” He looks exhausted, his body worn out from the terrors of the night, “Try to rest some, Buck.”
You pat his knee and move to get up from his bed, before you leave a question makes its way to the front of your mind, “What was your nightmare about?”
Bucky looks uncertain, as if he doesn’t know if it would be the right thing to tell you. Understanding that it may be too personal to ask, you shake your head, “It’s okay Bucky, you don’t have to-“
Author’s Note: I don’t know how many times I’m going to say this, but I am terribly sorry for being gone for so long. But I am glad to be back, I do hope that you guys enjoy this new chapter.
Warning: Sexual Harassment, please do not read if it could be too much to handle
The entirety of the trip was leaving you with your mind reeling and your heart racing. The monster you’ve spent, knowing now it’s actually been almost two months since you’ve stayed with him, had you thinking more ways than one just how mind boggling he made you feel.
Bucky was courteous, kind, and even cracking jokes with you. Never once did he do that while you were imprisoned in the plantation. Sure you were the one cracking the ever terrible jokes, trying to make the best of everything. But you never thought he would make the jokes, nor even smile when you tried to fire back the jokes he made. Though one thing did tug at your mind, one question that shouldn’t even matter.
“How did you even get all of that money?” You looked to him as you stopped near a red light.
“Nothing you need to worry about.” He answered simply while staring ahead out the window. You sighed to yourself, knowing you weren’t going to get any answer from him.
It was quiet for the next few minutes, the coldness of the AC making goosebumps rise on your skin. No music played on the radio, only the soft breathing of both Bucky and yourself filled the car.
From the distance you could see the outline of the mountain. The place that you knew as your prison just awaiting from your ever growing sadness and anger. You knew not to make yourself angry, especially while enclosed in a car with an ex-assassin.
You snuck a look at him, his features strangely calm looking for a man struggling for his past and fighting for his future. Yet you smirked when thinking of a particular joke from within the store.
“So,” you began, Bucky looked at you, “do you think Ann’s got a sister?”
The atmosphere between you and Bucky had changed, the difference wasn’t significantly humongous but it still mattered to you. He wouldn’t glare towards you as often, the stiff posture he held was slightly more relaxed. If you didn’t know any better, it also seemed he started to lose the ever present grimace on his face.
‘Reminder to self, thank George and Ann next time I see them.’
You sighed to yourself, surprisingly somewhat bored with what the day had became. Usually you were content with exploring the halls of the plantation, with an odd shadow shaped like Bucky following you, but today was merely just a day. You couldn’t even entertain yourself with that strange shadow, he was nowhere in sight.
A thought protruded into your head as you wondered up the stairs to go to your room, finally tired of the day growing into night.
‘Where the hell is his room?’
Your eyes ran down the two halls of the plantation, his room had to be somewhere in that hellhole.
‘Was it that locked room?’
To your body’s own accord it moved towards where you knew to be the locked room. As your hand reached for the door, you could feel the determination set and fill your veins. You weregoing to get into that room if it was the last thing you do. With a deep breath, you turned the nob, and with a short gasp you found the door unlocked.
The door creaked loudly as you pushed it open enough for your head to peak through. Bucky was nowhere to be seen within the old room. You knew what you were doing was the exact thing that could get you killed. Yet the curiosity within you made your actions justified for the time being.
Your eyes began to take in everything; from the map hanging on his wall, his clothes piled neatly in the corner. You expected everything to be a wreck, for the bed to be broken, cloths ripped to shreds, for a monsterto have destroyed the room. But no, it was uncommonly neat looking and you couldn’t help but feel ashamed for thinking that it should have been in ruins just because of the things he had done in the past.
She knew it was bound to happen one day, but she wasn’t expecting it to happen this quickly and so out of the blue. She knew it was a rare occurrence that someone of her age, gaining on her mid twenties, had never experienced love or a feeling that she guessed was love, she could not tell the difference between a crush or infatuation compared to the big, real deal that was such a huge part of many people lives. Except hers.
She was emotionally intelligent to know exactly where her problem and fear of it came from. It stemed from a deep rooted issue of her upbringing, her mother bringing her up single handedly, warning her away from men, in her exact words ‘men don’t bring you happiness, work hard and you will find your own happiness’.
Y/n had learnt over her young years to never ask about her Father, the curiosity was always there, but she knew better. She was here, right now, having worked to the best of her ability for many years to get to this position and opportunity. SHIELD didn’t recruit very often, and this was a once in a life time opportunity that she had been studying and training for since the day she learnt how to read and write. Ofcourse it was courtesy of her dear Mother that she followed this root, which young child didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of their Mother who had achieved so much for her country.
A field agent was all Y/n had wanted to grow up to be, a field agent for no other than SHEILD. So was over the moon, estatic almost when she received an email from recruitment about starting the programme, she only had to get through the trials and exams before becoming a fully fledged agent. Agent 18.
That was her training number, that’s what she was referred to, her almost new name and she liked it, there was no way it was being taken away from her now, not when she had worked so hard, not when she had given up so much. This, as sad as it was in reality, this is all she had now.
She had nothing to fall back on… no back up plan. Nothing and most importantly no one. Well… until he came along out of the blue and she fell into an unfamiliar territory of anxiety and fear, it made her sick to her stomach some days.
— - - - - - - -
Y/n’s unhealthy way to deal with emotions was to ignore the problem until it went away. So that’s what she did, she carried on training and working hard, doing her best to ignore him. Bucky Barnes, Sargent Barnes, Y/n’s mentor for the programme.
Day in and day out she ignored the butterflies in her stomach when he even spoke a single word directed to just herself. Like right this minute. He was watching her intently, her sparring match with another agent, agent 13 if she remembers correctly.
He was as quiet as normal, staring with a stony expression in his face, set in a frown of concentration as he judged, picking up on weak points.
“Good” he commented watching as Y/n had flipped agent 13 over her shoulder just as she thought his fist was about to land straight into her nose.
“Bitch” agent 13 mumbled under his breath glaring at her before swinging his leg round in anger straight into her side, his nasty comment had come out of no where, shocking her slightly as she fell to the ground with a groan. She heard Sargent Barnes let out a breath as if he winced himself at the sound.
Y/n knew she had to pull through the pain and get back up. She couldn’t fall at such a silly thing.
“Not a very nice thing to say” she said through gritted teeth, standing up quickly and swinging her right fist to connect with his own side, mimicking where he had just kicked her, he grunted but didn’t have time to recover as Y/n took his legs out with a swipe of one of hers. He fell to the ground, Y/n being quick to pin him down to the floor.
“Alright, enough” Barnes spoke but Y/n didn’t move, a glare set in her face as she stared down at agent 13. She was mad that he could have ruined her chances.
“Agent 18” Barnes addressed her specifically and only then did her head turn to look at him. “Enough”
he spoke and she found herself relaxing slightly, dropping her hold on agent 13 and offering a hand to help him up. Agent 13 glared, ignoring her and standing by himself. Bucky acknowledged this action, making a note of it in his head for feedback.
“Nice punches agent 18” Bucky spoke firmly “you need to not get distracted. People could say anything on the field to get in your head” he nodded. The sick feeling in her stomach arose as he addressed her, knees feeling weak and she could feel herself start to shake slightly. But she pulled it together. Bucky Barnes was a trained assassin after all, he would easily be able to tell if someone had a crush on him. Not that he really cared for that.
She gave a firm nod back before quickly adverting her eyes from him.
“Agent 13” he spoke before hesitating slight “there’s some things we need to work on” he said not specifying exactly. Y/n could tell that this meant there was a lot and was smirking inside her head at this thought.
“Okay. You’re dismissed” Bucky spoke turning around with no second glance at the pair of them and walking over to where Steve Rogers was sat having just dismissed his own students.
“You really are a bitch” Agent 13 spoke to her before jogging to catch up with the rest of the recruits who greeted him with a smile and offering of lunch with them.
Y/n didn’t let it bother her. She didn’t have many friends in her life and wasn’t looking to make anymore. It only hurt for a second watching all the other recruits laugh with each other, leaving the gym as a group to go and get lunch. Y/n turned away from the sight, deciding to stay in the gym rather than go and sit by herself in the cafeteria like a sad little girl.
She retreated to the corner of the gym where she felt safe and comfortable, wrapping her hands with tape as she stared at the punching bag full of sand infront of her. It was much larger than her frame, and to many other it would look intimidating, but she smirked before stepping up on to the mat throwing her first punch then a second and a third until she lost count.
“Do you ever rest?” A voice came from behind her startling her from her zone. She caught the punching bag to stop it swinging straight into her body. Her head turning to meet Sargent Barnes.
“Sargent” she greeted, looking at him with expectant eyes.
“Did you not fancy lunch with the other recruits?” He asked, concern in his voice.
“Not really my thing” she spoke.
“What… lunch?” He asked confused, a small smirk pulling at his mouth.
“No, being friends with the other recruits” she spoke as if it was obvious.
“And why’s that? Isn’t it a good thing to make friends with people like yourself” Barnes asked.
“They’re a distraction” she said staring at him with a serious look on his face.
“So if you don’t have friends what do you do in your free time?” Y/n was starting to get nervous, this was the longest conversation she had had with Bucky Barnes ever. Well the longest personal conversation.
“I study” she spoke once again as if it was an obvious thing.
“You… study?” He asked with an unbelievable expression on his face. She nodded, slightly cowering behind the punching bag now as it had completely stopped swinging, only slowly rocking back and forth gently.
She stared at him in silence.
“You need to find something to relax you. It’s not healthy to be working and training 24/7” he said, a gentle tone now lacing his words. He had seen how many recruits through the years who wanted it as badly as Y/n did had slowly lost their own sanity by giving everything they had into this process.
“I sleep” she replied making Bucky let out a laugh.
“I’ve seen what this programme has done to people, just make sure you find something you enjoy if not you will lose yourself”. For the first time Y/n glared at the man for speaking such honest words to her.
“I enjoy this” she replied bluntly.
“If you’re sure” he said uncertainly, but her left her too it, leaving the gym as Y/n glared at the sight of him.
His words had hit her harder than she thought possible.
- - - - - - -
The sound of a door slamming echoed throughout the empty gym but Y/n didn’t even flinch, ignoring it and carrying on with her punches. It was 5:30am and she hadn’t been able to sleep, all that plagued her thoughts was loneliness and she didn’t want to succumb to that feeling so she decided to get an early gym session in.
"Here again?“ A voice right behind her said. It made her jump this time and turn around to the source as she had assumed it was just another person who couldn’t sleep coming to train early.
The punching bag swung behind her, smacking straight into her body and knocking her over. His hands shot out automatically to stop her falling, one arm resting on her elbow the other on her waist. She froze, the sick feeling rising in the back of her throat at the contact.
She panicked not use to another touch when they weren’t hitting or sparing with her. Bucky made sure she was steadily on her feet before letting go.
"I didnt mean to startle you Y/l/n” he spoke in an apology.
"That’s alright … Sargent" she said softly, voice tired as the lack of sleep finally caught up to her.
"Why are you up so early?“ He asked politely.
"Why are you up so early?” She asked back.
"Ah I see, deflection of a question, a common way to change the subject" he chuckled.
"I want to get some extra training in" she finally said.
"At 5::30am?“
"Yes. It’s quieter at this time” she said. Referring to the fact the other recruits weren’t distracting her with their loud conversations.
"Want a sparring partner?“ he asked, eye flickering to the empty mats in the centre of the gym.
“Really?” she tried not to sound to enthusiastic but the opportunity for one on one hand to hand combat practice with the winter soldier would help her immensely.
“That’s if you’re up for it?” he challenged.
“of course- I mean, yes” she nodded, immediately making her way towards the mats, Bucky following closely behind.
- - - - - - -
It was late evening almost night time when Y/n found her self with her cheek pressed harshly against the lockers in the gyms changing rooms.
“I saw you this morning” a harsh sounding voice spat next to her ear.
Her eyes frantically looked around for help but there was no one else around. His hand pushed her face further into the lockers, the padlock pressing uncomfortably against the corner of her left eye.
“get off me” she grunted, squirming to try and release the grip. The persons hand grabbed her hair roughly pulling her away before slamming her back into it.
“So that’s the real reason that there’s rumours going around that you’re the favourite recruit. It’s because you’re fucking your mentor” he spat. Y/n elbowed the person making them release their grip enough for her to throw them off.
Agent 13 was staring back at her, a nasty twisted grin on his face.
“what is wrong with you?” she glared back.
“what is wrong with me? is that you’re using him to get into the programme.” he growled, shoving her back to hit the lockers again.
“get off me” she huffed. “I’m not sleeping with anyone, what is your problem”
“oh cut the bull shit” he laughed wickedly. “its obvious, why else would you be training with Sargent Barnes at 6 in the morning. I’ve got my eye on you” he threatened before stalking out of the changing rooms..
Y/n glared at nothing, confusion over the whole incident setting in. The gym was empty by the time she had gotten over the shock of agent 13′s words.
She decided to take a long shower to get rid of her thoughts, hoping to ease some of the pain on the side of her cheek and eye with cold water. It didn’t work. Sighing heavily she shut off the water, momentarily resting her head against the cool tiles.
She reached her hand out from the curtain grabbing her towel to wrap around her body, stepping out of the shower and making her way towards her locker.
She stopped in her tracks, heart beating fast as she stared at the broken lock on her locker, the door wide open showing the emptiness inside where her bag, phone and clothes once were.
“Shit” she whispered in panic. “shit, shit, shit”
What the hell was she meant to do now. She glanced at the ceiling trying to hold back her tears. She couldn’t leave the gym with just a towel on, the recruits floor was 5 floors up, there is no way she wouldn’t walk into someone, plus she would have to go through the common room which was always packed at this time of night.
She guessed that the locker rooms would be her bedroom for the night, until the next person came into the gym which could possibly not be until morning. She huffed already embarrassed for the person who would stumble in on her.
The night was long and cold, she sat with her legs close to her chest, her towel tightly clutched to her body to keep a tiny bit of heat in. It was no use, the tiled floor was freezing her skin, legs blue tinted, lined with goosebumps. She had already searched each locker for any ounce of clothes but only found another discarded towel that was only small enough to wrap round the back of her shoulders.
She lost count of the tears that had rolled down her cheeks, a cracking headache driving her slightly insane as she tried to fight sleep.
She dozed off at some point in the middle of the night.
- - - - -
The slamming of a door wasn’t enough to wake her as she slept uncomfortably, knees still pulled up to her chest, her head resting back against the lockers. The only thing that woke her was a soft shake coming from her shoulder and the whisper of her name.
Immediately she was alert, eyes wide and fully awake in a panicked frenzy.
Her eyes met those of Bucky Barnes, a soft smile on his face that soon turned into a confused frown.
“what are you doing asleep in here doll?” he asked, his voice gentle to match the morning quietness.
Y/n didn’t even hear the nickname, too mortified about the situation. Out of all people to find her it just had to behim.
“I’m sorry” she spoke, clutching the towel she still had wrapped around her closer to her body. It was only then that she realised just how cold she really was.
“Dn’t apologise, it’s just - it’s not often someone falls asleep in the locker rooms in just a towel” he chuckled.
“I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to - someone - I don’t know, someone took my things” she said, glancing up and over to the empty locker that her things should have been in.
Bucky’s face fell, his smile disappearing immediately.
“They what?” he said, making sure he was hearing this right before he really lost it.
“Someone- took my uh, my stuff, clothes and everything” she mumbled.
“who?”
“I’m not sure” she spoke quietly, embarrassment rally setting in at how pathetic she thought she looked, especially in-front of her mentor who would be judging her extremely for not being able to handle a situation such as this.
“Then who gave you this” he spoke, crouching down to her level to brush his thumb against her cheek, only then did she flinch, remembering the pain on the side of her face, it must have come out in a bruise already.
“Oh” she spoke wincing “IT was my own fault”
“The truth, Y/n” he spoke, not having time for her flittering around it. He needed to sort this out, bullying was not tolerated, and this level of bullying was harassment.
“I Think I can guess” Bucky spoke, staring at her as he watched her stutter for her answer. He had seen the grief she was given by certain agents.
“He- uh…” she shied away from his stare.
“HE did what? what did he do?” Bucky almost demanded, but took a slightly softer approach due to the sacred and vulnerable look on her face.
“He accused me of sleeping with you” she mumbled quietly. “Said that’s why I was the favourite.”
“Fuck” Bucky muttered. “come on get up” he spoke, watching her confused face. “you can’t stay in here all day” he spoke softly.
She took his outstretched hand hesitantly, his grip soft and gentle as he helped her up, legs shaking due to the numbness of the cold.
“You must be freezing” he spoke, letting go of her hand and moving to root around in his gym bag.
He passed her a pair of joggers and a hoodie, turning around to give her privacy as she dropped her towel. His breath hitched in his throat at the sound of the towel hitting the floor, Y/n’s doing the same as she quickly dressed, the smell of Bucky overwhelming her.
“You good?” he asked after a few minutes silence.
She cleared her throat quietly before replying. “yes… uh- thank you”
“lets get you out of here and get you some food” he said, making his way to the doors that lead to the gym, he pushed it open, holding it until Y/n had walked past him. He watched her back, following after her until she came to a sudden stop, her head turning to look at him with wide eyes and a scared stare.
In front of her, holding a smirk on his face was agent 13. Bucky glared at the man whose eyes had only just moved from Y/n to his, his face immediately dropping.
Before Y/n could say anything Bucky had stormed past her, metal hand flying straight towards agent 13s neck and slamming him into the wall.
“I never want to see your face here again. You’re out, with immediate effect” he growled before dropping him to the floor and walking away. Y/n following quickly after him.
Warnings: Mentions of blood, bullet wounds, pain, kinda angsty, then cut, then angsty, them cute again, pretty good since it’s been a while.
A/N: I KNOW the last part left a cliff hanger and then I didn’t write for this series for months. I know. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. But I promise the wait was worth it (hopefully). Also this is the Imani face claim I chose because I think I’m gonna make her a more prominent character. Anyway, I hope you guys like it like I do, and I promise you’ll continue to slowly see things trickle out from this blog. Love you all!!! ❤️
You first quickly make your way to Sam, immediately checking his vitals. “Steve, I need you to keep James awake.” As Steve goes to do his assignment, you find a low, even heartbeat and slow, steady breathing from Sam, as if he was asleep. Next you remove the tape from the towels to lift them up one at a time, visually inspecting both wounds. The one on his side was a deep graze. It doesn’t look like it hit his ribs, glad that is one less bullet you have to worry about. Next you examine his leg, less enthused about this wound. It was in the outside region of his upper leg, so the femoral artery wasn’t a concern, but there was no exit wound.
"Hey, Buck. Y/N needs you to stay awake, okay bud.“ Steve starts to to shake Bucky gently. You turn to look at him as you go to reach for the first aid kit. The look on his side profile was filled with worry and as much as you could sympathize with, you had a task to attend to.
"Steve, I know you don’t want to hurt him, but you have to wake him up. Try a bit harder for me, and if that doesn’t work, your gonna need to do a sternum rub, okay?” Your stare on Steve was intense as you waited for affirmation. He was shocked at your commanding tone but quickly nods and goes back to waking Bucky. You place your focus back onto Sam as you pull on your gloves, removing the towel from his side first and the small piece of gauze that covered the gash. You grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the table and pour it on a fresh, folded piece of gauze. “I’m so sorry, Sam.” You mumble, quickly bringing the gauze to the wound. The intensity of the burning was enough to wake Sam and cause him to swiftly kick you away. You groan at the impact as Sam beings to apologize profusely.
"I’m so sorry. *Wince* I didn’t know it was you*wince* Fuck everything hurts.“ You calm him down and hand him a pillow for the couch, then begun to slowly bring the gauze back in.
"It’s fine. But you’re gonna want to bite this hard because I’ve got to clean that wound.” You allow him to ready himself, watching as he places the corner of the pillow in his mouth, then being to count down without getting to zero. Right as you placed the gauze there’s a knock at the door. “It’s open, Mani.” You call, trying to keep Sam from squirming too much. She enters and looks around at the grim site before her.
"Well, I-uh-wow-“ You continue to wipe around the wound with the gauze a bit more before starting to secure a fresh piece of gauze to it, sneaking glances back at your stupified friend.
"I know, I’ll explain later. Right now I need you to channel your previous life as an ER nurse and help Steve with Bucky.” You turn back to Sam, scanning his face for signs of fainting, which is expected with the pain he was most likely feeling. “Steve, Imani. Imani, Steve.” You nudge your head toward your friend as you start on cleaning Sam’s leg wound.
"Hi.“ Is all Steve could muster to the woman next to him now. Her wide, deep brown eyes quickly scanned Steve’s face, lingering on his own ocean blue eyes before finally speaking. “I’ll get you cleaned up in a moment but first lets help James. And, uh, nice to meet you… finally.” She lifts the towel that now stuck to Bucky by the crusted over blood. It was a deep gash, no sign of a bullet entrance. “Steve, can you hand me gloves, a piece of gauze, and the alcohol, please?” Steve nods and hastily does what the woman asks. He watches as Imani expertly pulls on her gloves, the pulls surrounding fabric from around his wound. “Steve, he may be asleep now, but when I put this on him, you are possibly the only person that can keep him restrained. And just, be prepared. He’s gonna be in a lot of pain.” She proceeds to pour a heavy dose of alcohol on to the gauze and presses it to the wound, earning increasingly jerking flinches from Bucky. She then begins to gently wipe the wound, the burn to the exposed muscle, fully waking him up and causing Steve to put his whole weight into him.
“Come on buddy, I know it burns, but Miss Imani here needs to clean you up. Now stay…still…” Steve groans pushing Buck’s shoulders into the chair.
“Hey, we need to get them somewhere that can remove these bullets.” You say focusing on your task at hand. Sam winces as you begin to secure a clean piece of gauze to his second wound. “Not the hospital though.” Steve watches as Imani animatedly flips her head back around, finishing wiping around Bucky’s wound before getting a fresh gauze.
“Well, we could try to get them to the compound quickly. I know Bruce is there for the next couple of weeks. He can help. I can drive.” Steve relaxes his grip on Bucky when he realized that his whinces have become less dramatic, possibly due to the pain being so sever at first that it numbed at this point.
“Compound? The one upstate that you told me about?” Imani turns to ask you, securing down one side of medical tape before pulling out another one. She watches you nod then turns back to secure the second piece of tape. “If that’s the case we’re taking my car.” She looked over at Steve and his shocked, confused expression. “It’s a Mustang. You can still drive, but if the broken down Beetle is your’s, it would take forever for us to get there.” A small grin grows on Steve’s face as he lets out a small chuckle before helping you stand Sam up to take him and Bucky to Imani’s car.
_____
Imani was right about her car being quicker, because with Steve driving rather than it taking 2 and a half hours, Steve somehow shaved an hour off the time, though the ride seemed a bit longer due to Buck and Sam’s bickering on who was hurting most and who did what before they both passed out. So there you sat next to Bucky, looking at the picture Peter sent you of him and Louise, Louise in one of his shirts as a form of pajama, as a form of check up, every once in a while, looking up to watch Imani fix Steve up, unknowing of the awe-filled– and possibly lust filled– gaze he laid upon her. You just grinned and looked back down at your phone, backing out of the photo and scrolling through the texts between you and Peter. You knew he was part of the team, so you felt like it wouldn’t hurt to let him know what’s going on. As you started reading you felt a shift underneath your hand that grasped Bucky’s, prompting you to look his way.
“Hey. How are you feeling?” You gently place a hand on his face and glance up and down his body, examining him.
“Simultaneously high and in pain.” He groans out a chuckle and attempts to sit up, Stopped by his now suttured and covered wound.
“Yeah, probably shouldn’t sit up to quick. Bruce, uh, had to remove a bullet fragments from your wound and then sew you up. Luckily, they was very superficial so it didn’t take much effort at all.” Bucky nods at your words and keeps a loving gaze on you, and as relieved as you were for him to finally be awake, you couldn’t helped but feel irked about the whole situation. “James, what happened?”
“Would you accept mission gone wrong?” He charms, but your contemplating frown still stuck to your face, this skepticism stemming from when Steve told you the same thing. “Okay, we may have mistepped a bit but we’re okay.”
“James, Sam is in surgery. Sure, they’re both luckily minor injuries considering the bullet that was in his thigh may have missed his femoral artery, but it was still dangerous nonetheless.” You still held on to Bucky’s hand, your thumb nervously rubbing his fingers. “Was this a S.H.I.EL.D. thing or…?” You now looked between Steve and Bucky, who’s eyes began to grow wide, giving you indication of the answer. “You guys got into this trouble all on your own, huh?”
“Umm, I think Steve said he wanted to give me a tour of the compound. Right, Steve?” Imani grabs Steve’s hand and motions her head to the door, then leans in to whisper in his ear. “You do not want her anger towards James to jump onto you. Get out while you still can.”
“But it was-” Imani yanks Steve’s arm and drags him out before he could further incriminate himself. “The mission was my idea.” He looks down at Mani, eyes as pitiful as a guilty child. “I need to apologize.”
“You can do so later, when she calms down.” She places a hand on Steve’s elbow that was closest to the door. “I think right now she’s more scared than mad. Give her time. Show me around. And, uh, maybe we could get a drink?” She suggests, remembering the large wall of liquor behind a bar in the main room. She gets a hint of a grin and a nod from Steve before he finally leads her away from the room.
Back in the room, your face seemed to be in a long term scowl as Bucky tries to explain the situation. “Listen, it was something that S.H.I.E.L.D couldn’t have known or else it would’ve gotten more people hurt than necessary. I honestly can’t tell you anymore than that. It could put you in danger.” You remove your hand from his, swiftly avoiding Bucky’s attempt to retrieve your hand again and stand from your seat to begin pacing.
“So how often do you oh so willingly run toward the danger without being provoked?” You stop and look at Bucky, who now seemed equally as angry as you. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Do you know what my job entails? I’m not a rodeo clown. I work to keep the world safe. To keep you and Louise safe.” Bucky’s volume increased with his words.
“Don’t you think I know that! That’s one of the reasons why I love you, damnit. But it seems that the danger seems to follow you. And what if it follows you when you have Lou,… and I’m not there?” You sigh and walk back to the chair, plopping down. “Bucky, I’m not mad, not completely mad at least, I’m scared. If something happened to you, or something happened while you were watching Lou and I couldn’t get there in time, I-I would die. I wouldn’t know what to do.” Your voice cracks and a tear falls from your eye, which Bucky quickly turns to wipe away, wincing when he realizes he’s still in the hospital bed for a reason.
“I understand, and I promise to be more careful and think before following Steve into the fire again. I guess it’s just weird to know that I have a girl with a daughter who both expect me to be alive enough to come home. But if anything were to happen and you weren’t there, they would have to kill me to lay a finger on Louise, okay? And I’m hard to kill.” You nod and laugh through your now ceasing sobs.
“Okay” He takes your hand and gently presses it to his lips, knowing that it would be more painful if he were to try to kiss you at the moment. You catch on and lean over to give him a long, sweet peck on the lips, at this point relieved that he was still here with you. When you pull back your brain rewinds Bucky’s words. Follow Steve, huh? You stand from your chair again. “I’ll be right back.” You exit the infirmary like room and quickly head to the main room where you, unsurprisingly, found Steve and Imani flirting at the bar in the back of the room. “You.” You point to Steve and then point in front of you, to which he followed the silent instructions to come stand in front of you.
“So, uh, Buck told you.” He nervously rubs the back of the neck, gaze directed downward into your eyes.
“Kinda. But I wanted to hear it from you.” Your eyebrows were raised as you crossed your arms.
“I-uh-was the one who proposed the mission.” He flinched when you motioned to hit his arm but continued when you pulled back. “It was-or at least seemed like- a small threat that, if it grew, would be big trouble for S.H.I.E.L.D in the future if it wasn’t taken care of right now. I didn’t know it would be such trouble.” This was the moment you took to thud him in the abdomen, seemingly hard enough to get a reaction that was most likely due to some bruised ribs.
“That’s fine. But can we please try to be more careful next time. I was supposed to be off tonight and tomorrow but it looks like I’ll be taking care of some people.” You turn on your heel and head back to the room Bucky was laid up in, hearing indistinct conversation going on between Steve and Mani as you walked away.
_____
“Don’t think I don’t remember the PAIN you put me through when I woke up.” Sam bitches from his wheelchair that was parked next to the large couch in the main room. You sat at the end closest to Sam with Bucky’s head in your lap, stroking his free roaming hair, scratching his scalp every once in a while.
“Me putting you through that pain is what kept you alive without having an infection. So you should be thanking me.” You flip your head to look at Sam, smug grin on your face.
“I appreciate it, doesn’t mean I enjoyed it.” Sam mumbles, earning a smack on his arm from you.
Over at the bar was Imani, Steve and Bruce. Steve, who was behind the bar was having an obviously engaging conversation with Imani, who was sitting at the bar listening, highly interested. Bruce sat next to Imani, but had his attention on your conversation with Sam.
“She’s right. If it wasn’t for her and Ms. Jefferson, your’s and Barnes’ injuries would be worse. Especially if you were to stick with your original plan of waiting it out through the night, one of you idiots would be dead so…” He takes a sip of the water that sat in front of him and looks over his glasses at Sam.
“Man, shut up.” Was all Sam could retaliate, making those that were listening laugh.
“Thank you again for coming to help. And letting me drive that car of your’s.” Steve was leaning on his crossed arms that were on the bar.
“Well, I’m glad Y/N called me to come help, or else I wouldn’t have finally met you.” She takes a sip of the Screwdriver Steve made her, the second of the drinks he has made for the beautiful woman he was so lucky to have met today-or yesterday since it was now 4:00 in the morning. “Y/N has told me a bit about you.”
“Like what?” His heart rate increases slightly at not knowing what Imani was about to say.
“Well, that you’re great with Lou. She said that you weren’t to bad looking, which frankly I agree.” Her voice trailed with those last words which made Steve laugh a heavenly chuckle. “And that you seemed extremely trustworthy.” His chest puffed with that last comment which emboldened him to finally make his move.
“She should’ve added in there that I would very much like to take her very beautiful, very charming best friend on a date sometime soon. Tomorrow at 7, maybe?” He moves Imani’s now empty glass from in front of her and places a glass of water.
“Smooth, but this glass of water should really be for you, since you seem so thirsty.” She takes a sip, turning her eyes toward the couch where you and Sam seemed to frantically turn back around as if you guys weren’t listening in to the conversation. “It’s your lucky day. I don’t have a shift tomorrow.” She take out her phone from her pocket, taps a few times on it then hands it to Steve. ”Put your number in.” He does as she tells him and then hands it back to her. She then sends a quick text with her name and address.
“I did not expect this to go so well.” Steve says a bit under his breath as he looks at the text that came through to his phone.
“This is not fair.” Sam sighs, then turns his attention back to you. “Can you please hook me up one of your friends? Please? I promise I’ll be good.”
You laugh at his pleas, then sit and think about it. After a few seconds Imani chimes in. “What about Sherry? That Cardio intern?” You gleefully clap at the suggestion then turn back to Sam.
“Yes, Sherry! She adorable, maybe a year younger than Mani and I. Short brownskin with a lot of hair. She graduated top of her class at UPenn. She’s only a little shy. Ugh, you’ll love her.”
“Fine, thank you. Now I don’t feel so left out now.” Sam fidgets with the wheels of his chair, seeming to be trying to get used to it.
“Good, no one wants that.” You chuckle, scratching Bucky’s scalp again, happy knowing that everything is okay now.
A/N: In honor of Endgames coming out this week, I thought I’d start with a little Steve Rogers imagine. This is pretty much sad. There is only speculation at this point, but we already know we are gonna lose some of our favorite superheroes. Am I the only one who will be a sobbing mess after seeing that movie ? Enjoy, Jaymes.
« Steve? »
Standing on her balcony, he kept on watching the sky.
« I don’t think I can do this anymore, Y/N » He whispered.
« Do what? »
« I’m tired of fighting »
She walked to him, putting a comforting hand on his back.
« Are you expecting me to ask you to stay ? » She muttered.
She could not see the slight smile on his face, a sweet picture of their life together forming in his head, a life they would had if he decided to stay.
« There’s nothing I wish more than to stay here, with you. » He confessed.
« There’s nothing I wish more than for that to be true »
He vehemently turned to look at her, confusion written all over his face.
« Are you saying I’m lying ? » He asked with surprise.
« I don’t think you’re capable of lying, Steve »
« Then what do you mean ? »
« … I know you. Probably more than you know yourself at this point. » She started, her hand slowly stroking his « You’re a soldier, a super soldier. You leave to right the wrong, to fight for the people, to speak for them. You are brave, braver than anybody I’ve ever met, and this bravery will always lead you to a battlefield, not to me »
« That’s not true » He quickly replied.
She simply smiled, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand.
« You’re a hero for those people, and they need you now »
« I’m not sure I’m anyone’s hero anymore, Y/N »
« Well at least you can be sure you’ll always be mine »
Watching her closely, he knew she was dead serious. She had always believed in him, sometimes even more than he believed in himself.
« I thought you liked superman » He joked. « Wasn’t you that suggested I should wear a cap like him? »
She planted herself in front of him, firmly, taking his face between her hands and forcing him to look at her eyes before she spoke.
« Not all heroes wear capes, Steve » She whispered, almost like it was a secret. « But they all share one thing in commun »
« Bravery ? » He joked with a small smile.
« Stupidity »
He chuckled, not expecting that answer.
« What is that suppose to mean ? »
« It means you’re not unbreakable. » She muttered. « It means there will be that one final fight, the one you don’t come back from, because whatever happens on the battlefield, you’ll always think of saving people before saving yourself. One day you won’t make it home and I’ll know one of them is alive because you’re dead. »
« Y/N … »
She pursed her lips, trying to hold back a sob.
« You need to hear this before you leave, Steve » She started, her forehead against his, both of their eyes closed. « I love you, with all my heart. That won’t change, ever. You are the best part of me. So when they’ll try to tear you down, think of me, and remember someone is waiting for you home. »
« I will » He promised
He gently leaned in and pulled her into a fiery and passionate kiss. Her hands work their way around his neck, his around her waist. It was slow and soft, as comforting as words would never be. His thumb caressed her cheek as he took a step back. She ran her fingers down his spine, making his shiver. His eyes closed, he swore he’d always remember this moment. He pulled her close, until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest. For a while, not a words were spoken between them, but a story worthy of them was communicated.
« I’m coming home, Y/N » He forcefully answered.
« I know you’ll do your best. I’m gonna miss you, Captain »
« Not as much as I’ll miss you » He smiled.
She dropped her head on his chest, her ear against his heart, the simple sound of it enough to comfort her.
« When I’ll come back, I’ll ask you to marry me » He confessed.
She giggled.
« Aren’t you suppose to keep that a secret until you propose ? »
« I figured conventional was not made for us »
« Then you should probably know I’ll say yes when you’ll ask, so you better make sure you stay alive and in one piece, Captain »
A tear rolled down her cheek when she felt his belly tremble with his laugh. Oh how she would missed this.
« Is that an order ? » He lightly joked.
« Is it » She seriously answered, raising her head to look at him. « Come back to me, Steve »
Taking a deep breath, he inhaled her scent before he’d have to leave. His thumb gently brushed the tears as he planted his lips on her forehead.
« You know I always will » He muttered, kissing her. « I love you, Y/N »
Her eyes closed, all she could feel was the thick air around her. Though her mind called out for his, he was gone, and finally she knew that time to be alone had come. Standing on the balcony, she kept watching the sky, almost expecting to see a sign he was still here. Profound sadness is all she felt, fatigue engraved on her worn out face after the events of the last couple of days.
« I knew I’d found you here » She heard a voice behind her.
She didn’t turn around. She didn’t want to hide her pain, it was useless. Everyone could see just how broken she was
« Hey, Buck’ » She simply answered.
She heard him coming closer, felt his cold metal hand on her shoulder. He didn’t need to say anything. What she felt, he felt it twice as hard. Her mind was numb, empty. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. Where there was once his love, his light, his laugh, was now an aching hollowness.
« I miss him too » The soldier whispered.
She closed her eyes, the tears unwillingly flowing. She could almost picture him, only days ago, standing next to her on this very balcony. Telling her how much he loved her.
« It’s so unfair, Buck »
« I know »
« We were supposed to have more time » She muttered. « He was supposed to come home »
« He fought his way home to you, Y/N. You can be damn sure he tried his best »
She sighed.
« I shouldn’t have let him go » She admitted. « As selfish as it sound, the world could have burnt if it meant for him to stay alive »
« You don’t mean that »
She turned to look at him.
« Why ? Why did it have to be him ? »
« You know why, you know what happened » He answered. « Half of the Avengers in that room behind us wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Steve »
She closed her eyes, turning back to look at the sky.
« I know it hurts, Y/N » He brokenly whispered. « I’ve lost him twice now. But there was no stopping him »
« I knew this would happened » She confessed. « Something was off, I could feel it »
« Nobody could have prevented this »
« My own damn fault for falling in love with Captain America »
She abruptly stood straight
« He was stupid. I told him, all of you superheroes are fools, thinking you can fight without taking a hit. Look where that got us, he’s dead Bucky » Her lips trembled. « Steve is …. he’s dead »
Her sadness was a flowing river, cold and unending. It washed all the goodness out of her and left her a mere shell of what she had once been with him. Bucky didn’t hesitate a second and took his friend in his arms. Wrapping his metal arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer, gently rubbing her arm. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. They were both hurting, they both needed this, needed each other to be able to grief. His arms squeezed harder when he felt her tears on his shoulder.
« He loved you, Y/N. So much »
« How am I suppose to live without him ? » She whispered.
« I’m asking myself the same question. We’ve both lost a part of our family »
He took a step back to look at her.
« But we are gonna get though this. You and me, doll. I’ve got your back »
« I’m sorry you lost him again, Bucky »
The look of sheer pain on his face was enough to break her heart all over again.
« I was lucky enough to find him after 70 years, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him » He stated, more to comfort himself than his friend.
She hummed in response, her head turning back to the empty casket full of ashes in the middle of the room.
« Captain America celebration, huh ? » She said, reading the big sign one of the Avenger had placed.
« Tony’s idea. Seemed more fitting than a funeral »
She could see them, all the Avengers, all sitting in that room filled of heavy silence.
« Can you see ? » Bucky asked. « The Avengers started with him, that small punk from Brooklyn wanting to save the world. He showed us what it was like to care, to fight for something you believe in. He opened the way to the other heroes. Can you see, Y/N, that without him, there wouldn’t be anyone in this room ? We exist because a skinny kid believed he could change an entire system. And he did »
« Captain America’s legacy » She answered.
« We are his legacy. He will never be dead, not really. Everything he did for this world, we cary with us. And which each enemy we’ll face in the future, we will keep in head that the first Avenger that led that fight was Captain America and we owe it to him to protect and lead by heart, the way he led us to victory when he gave up his life. This was his endgame, not ours »
« You will make a terrific Captain, Bucky »
« I had a terrific example » He smiled.
Taking a closer look inside the room, she could see just how much he was right. Every soul in there had been touch by Steve Rogers. They had been more than teammates, he had created a family, and despite past differences and new arrivals, she knew the Avengers would cary his soul. She had lost him, but what a lucky ride it was by his side.
« To Steve Rogers » She murmured, raising her glass.
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything, since I wrote anything to be honest Every time I say I’ll do a challenge, or a request, all I’m hoping is that I’ll have the courage to write again, to enjoy doing it again. The excuse I’ve given you is that I’m a student and university takes most of my time. While that’s partially true, there’s also another issue that I’ve tried to ignore. Maybe you’ve read one of my Charles Xavier’s request, Pocrescophobia. If so, you know what I’m going to say. The reason I’m not writing anymore is because I’m sick. Mentally sick. Which is still hard to admit if you ask me. I’ve created a whole world made of numbers, disgust and self-hatred. My doctor call it anorexia, I just call it hell. I’m sorry I’ve not been present, I’m sorry I’ve stopped writing. A lot of you send me messages to know when I’ll be back, and the answer is I don’t know. “Recovery” is awfully painful but I promise I’ll be back with more stories, I just don’t know when.
Summary: Steve left, and when he comes back, things have changed. (Not canon compliant)
A/N: Hey y’all. This is my new series. I hope y’all enjoy it. Also I know that I should start a new paragraph eveytime that sombody new speaks but I hit the 250 text block limit. So yes, I know I am not following basic grammar rules, and yes, it makes me cringe too. Next, I know it looks like Time Gone By I, but the name is Time Gone By. The I is just a Roman numeral. I know that I should have put a colon there, but when I did, it kind of irritated me so I deleted it.
As Steve walked through the gates of the Wakandan palace, he couldn’t hold in his admiration. His head was on a swivel as he took in the view of the city. It was a sight that he never thought he would see. In the 40s, Wakanda had been seen as a primitive third world country. By the 2010s, it seemed that not much had changed. The world still had yet to see this side of Wakanda, although it seemed that they wanted it that way. In fact, Steve, himself, had only ever really thought about it as the place his shield was made up until now. Walking through the palace gates, the first person that he saw was Bucky. He was excited to see his best friend for the first time in so many years. It was like a pattern for them- the world ripping them apart only to put them back together again. Only, Bucky didn’t look quite as happy to see Steve. He actually looked nervous.
“Hey, Buck. It’s been a while,” he called out as he ran towards Bucky and engulfed him in a tight hug that wasn’t returned nearly as enthusiastically. Then, he remembered where he was, disentangled himself from his friend, and bowed to the king. “I’m sorry, your majesty. That was disrespectful. I forgot myself. I apologize.”
“Please don’t apologize, and call me T’challa,” he replied in his lightly accented English that sounded so posh.
“Thank you, T’challa, and thank you for your hospitality. Now, Buck, how have you been? Tell me everything. It’s been so long.”
“Uh… Things have been different without you. I missed you,” he stammered, not quite meeting Steve’s eyes,
“I missed you too, bud. Now, where is she?”
“Who?”
“C’mon Buck. Don’t play stupid. You know who I’m talking about. Where’s Y/N?”
“Um, Steve. Things have changed since you’ve been gone. There’s a lot to talk about, you know?”
“No, I really don’t. What are you saying here, Buck?”
“I think now would be a good time to excuse myself,” T’challa said before turning and walking back into the palace. He signaled for the guard and everybody else to follow him.
‘C’mon, Buck. Just tell me what’s going on. I didn’t think that we kept things from each other.”
“No, you’re right. We don’t. It’s just that you left. You ran off and you followed Peggy’s niece around Europe for three years. Look, I get it. Peggy died and you were in a bad place, but was it really worth it? Was it worth it to leave the best thing that ever happened to your sorry ass to follow some remnant of Peggy like a dog chasing a stick?”
“Bucky, if you have something to say to me, just tell me, and stop beating around the bush!”
“I just don’t think that it’s a very good idea for you to see her right now,” Bucky said quietly, staring at his feet.
“Really? Who died and made you king?”
“Very mature, Steve.”
“If I want to see my girlfriend, I damn well will!”
“She’s not your girlfriend anymore!”
“What?” Steve asked, uncomprehending.
“You left to chase tail in Europe, and you think that you can just come back, and everything will be the same. You act like you were gone for a week or two, but it was three fucking years. You left us, all of us! Things have changed! You left her for another woman! She’s moved on! She doesn’t want to see you, Steve!”
“Moved on? Who has she moved on with?”
“Nobody. She’s just moved on,” Bucky said, sounding exasperated. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. There’s a room for you in the palace. You can set your stuff there.”
“Thanks,” Steve replied, before storming off into the palace.
When he reached his room, he marveled at it. The technology in there put that of the Compound or Tower to shame. The window stretched from floor to ceiling, and the view was incredible. It was a stark contrast to the view he was used to from his crappy flat in 40s Brooklyn, or the view of New York from the Tower. It even weirded him out not to see Thor and Nat wailing on each other in a field outside. Instead, he saw wide open spaces unlike New York and beautiful architecture unlike the Compound. It was all mixed together to create the most beautiful citadel that Steve had ever seen. He thought about asking whatever virtual assistant that was undoubtedly hooked up in his room about you, but he had only barely mastered JARVIS. He didn’t even know the name of this one, so he just sat on the bed and thought about what Bucky had said for a while. It wasn’t all true, was it? Had he really been gone that long? It hadn’t felt like three years when he had been with Sharon. Despite what everybody thought, and despite that ill timed kiss, he hadn’t been with Sharon for sex or a relationship or whatever. It was just that he had realized at the funeral when Sharon spoke as Peggy’s niece, how little he knew about Peggy’s life other than when he knew her. He needed to piece it together. He needed to know more. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, so yeah, he followed a woman around Europe just to find out more about her dead aunt. He hadn’t really seen himself as leaving you. He had meant to keep in touch with you. Really, he had. He had meant to come back, but two weeks turned to four, then eight, then three whole years. When had he let that happen? Suddenly, he heard a knock at his door. Steve opened it to find T’challa standing behind it.
“Prince T’challa, what can I do for you?”
“I thought I told you that just T’challa is fine” he teased Steve lightly.
“I’m sorry? What did you come to talk about?”
“I thought I should come and welcome you properly. It didn’t seem like things were good between you and your friend.”
“No, they weren’t, but it’s none of our concern. I wouldn’t want to bother you with my problems when you’re already showing me so much hospitality.”
“If a king cannot listen to the difficulties of his people, he has no business being king.”
“Very wise.”
“My father told me that.”
“He was a good man.”
“I know, but I am not here to talk about him. I thought I would tell you that we are having a party tomorrow night. I wanted to welcome all of the fighters and give them a chance to destress before the fight.”
“It sounds like a great idea. Will everybody in the palace be there?”
“I hope so. I’ll have a suit sent up to your room. According to our calculations, Thanos should be here in two days.”
“And those are accurate?”
“Shuri doesn’t make mistakes,” T’challa said in a tone that left no room for further questions on the matter. Steve wanted to ask who Shuri was but decided to leave it alone. “I’m having some of our scientists make a suit for you. It’ll be a little more high tech and more appropriate for the occasion than the stars and stripes.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll have dinner sent up tonight. Most of your fellow teammates have opted to eat dinner in their rooms.”
“What information can you give me on Y/N?”
“I’m afraid it’s not my place.”
“Please,” Steve begged, employing his best puppy eyes.
“I should be going,” T’challa said, before leaving the room abruptly.
Dinner was sent up shortly after. It was a cheeseburger and fries, and probably the best that Steve had ever had. It reminded him of going out for lunch with Bucky after some of his less damaging fights, or going to Coney Island with girls that he only met two hours prior, but swore that he was going to marry. Steve missed back when things were simpler. After a while, the sky outside got dark, and Steve figured he should turn in early. The next couple of days were going to be rough, and he had better prepare the best that he could.
…
The next morning, Steve was woken up by blinding sunlight streaming through his window. He sat up in his bed and heard a voice coming from some hidden corner of his room.
“Good morning, Captain Rogers. The king would like to see you in the training lab at your earliest convenience,” a kind sounding female voice said in a stiff British accent that let him know it was some AI talking.
“Uh… good morning. Can you please tell the kind that I’ll be there soon, and could I also get directions to the training lab, please?”
“Just take the elevator to the lowest level.”
“Thank you.”
Steve dressed himself quickly in joggers and one of the T-shirts in the drawers of the dresser in his room. Evidently, whoever had stocked that dresser knew of his fondness for tight fitting shirts. He hustled down the hall to the elevator, still marveling at how modern the palace was. When he stepped into the lab though, he was in a whole other world. There were a plethora of machines whizzing over his head. There were different projects scattered everywhere in various states of completion. Holograms were projected around the room, showing the blueprints for multiple machines. It was like Stark Labs but bigger and even more high tech. He could hear a loud whirring coming from one corner of the room. He followed his ear in the direction of the noise to find T’challa watching a young woman hunched over a piece of metal that she was soldering.
“Hello,” Steve said as he walked up,not wanting to startle the girl wielding a glorified cauterizing knife.
“Ah, Captain Rogers, it is good to see you. This is my sister Shuri. She has been working on the suit for you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess,” Steve bowed his head in respect.
“Shuri is fine,” she replied, finally looking up from her work.
“As long as you call me Steve.”
“Deal.”
“So what’s the deal on this new suit?”
“It’s over here. Follow me,” Shuri said as she started walking to the opposite side of the lab. “Your new suit will harness kinetic energy, same as my brother’s. It’s also a little darker and more appropriate for the solemnity of what’s to come, but heat reflective so that you won’t be burning up inside of it. It’ll be great if you ever decide to use it for stealth missions. The new suit will also be able to read and relay your vitals to the rest of your team, and of course, your new shields will be attached to the suit so you don’t have to worry about them getting lost on such a hectic battle field.
“That all sounds very impressive.”
“Shuri is the best we have, even better than your Stark,” T’challa cut in.
“I’m excited to see it, then.”
“Well, I’ll also need you to try it on. I used your measurements from the media about you, Dorito Man.”
“Is that what they call me?” Steve asked with a small chuckle “Yes, and it’s what your friend Natasha told me to call you when she helped me out with the guesstimating.”
“Of course she did.”
“She actually offered to help you test the suit out,” Shuri said as she stopped in front of a glass display case, containing a dark navy suit. Natasha stepped out from behind it with an impish grin on her face. “Hey, Cap.”
“Nat!” Steve exclaimed as he wrapped her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you! Hey, I’ve been meaning to come find you and ask, how’s Y/N?”
“No, Steve.”
“C’mon Nat! Please!”
“Just put on the damn suit. Let’s get this over with,” Nat said, her voice laced with disdain. Shuri directed Steve behind a changing partition he requested, all the while insisting that it was nothing they hadn’t seen before. He emerged a few minutes later with his new suit on. It felt great and fit like a glove. “Stand on the line,” Natasha directed him, pointing to a tapeline on the floor. “I’m gonna hit you now,” and she did. She punched Steve as hard as he had ever seen her hit anyone, even their enemies, even HYDRA’s goonies.
“Jesus, Nat!”
“I said that I was going to hit you.”
“Not that hard!”
“Whatever. Now, run into that wall.”
“Why is Shuri recording?” Steve asked suspiciously. “Research purposes,” she answered simply, as she adjusted her tablet for a better angle. Steve did what he was told and ran into the wall. Immediately, he was blown back by some unseen force and knocked 20 feet onto his back. “That is so going viral!”
“What the hell was that?” he mustered out weakly over the sounds of everybody laughing with Nat being the loudest. “The kinetic energy in the suit,” Shuri answered. “I thought I warned you.”
“We all get revenge in different ways. I asked Shuri to help you test your suit. You forget, you left me too. Tell Sharon I say hi,” Nat said before walking out of the room proudly, still chuckling. “I think that I had better head back to my room now,” Steve said as he managed to rise to his feet. “See you tonight, Captain,” T’challa said as he attempted to stifle his laughs.
…
That night, Steve dressed himself in the suit that had been left at his door. It was a deep navy color that brought out the blue in his eyes. It was paired with a simple white shirt. Everything fit him perfectly like it had been tailor made for him, although he supposed it had been. He looked at himself anxiously in the mirror. He was afraid and excited. It was the first time that he would see you in 3 years. He didn’t know if he was ready. He started to walk downstairs, and he had to stop himself from running all the way to the main hall. He fiddled nervously with his cufflinks the entire way down in the elevator. When he reached the main hall, he realized how early he was. Only Natasha was there, standing behind the bar in a tailored white button down and black vest, fixing herself a drink.
“Hey,” Steve called out as he approached the bar. “Are we good after this morning?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to humiliate you.”
“I probably deserved it.”
“No, you definitely did. What are you drinking?”
“Do you have any of that Asgardian stuff from the last time that Thor was on Earth?”
“Ooh, starting off the night strong are we?”
“Well, I’m gonna see Y/N tonight.”
“Steve, are you sure that it’s a good idea to talk to her? She was messed up after you left, and now, she’s finally in a good place.”
“Why is everybody saying that? I love her! What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” Nat said, sounding tired, as she placed Steve’s drink in front of him. More people had filtered in at this point including Bucky. “Do you think that I should even try to talk to him?” Steve asked as he stared miserably at the bottom of his glass. “You’re best friends. It couldn’t hurt.”
“You didn’t see how mad he was yesterday.”
“I know how mad he got, and he had every right to do so, but Steve you’ve already lost him so many times. Don’t let it happen again.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” Steve said as he pushed away from the bar. “How are you doing?” he asked as he walked up to Bucky. “Worse, now that you’re here.”
“Are you kidding me? Why can’t we just be adults about this?”
“Last I checked, you haven’t acted like an adult in 3 years, if you ever did.”
“Are you really still this mad at me?”
“Are you really still a punk?” Bucky joked with a wink. “I missed you bud,” Steve said into Bucky’s hair as he enveloped him in a bruising hug, one that was returned with equal love this time. “I missed you too.”
Suddenly, Steve froze in Bucky’s arms. Bucky turned to see what had caused his friend’s sudden change, and saw you. You were making your way down the stairs into the ballroom, and you looked like a princess. Your hair had gotten longer since the last time Steve had seen you. It cascaded past your shoulders in soft curls. The dress you were wearing was champagne colored with a magnificent tulle skirt that belled out at your waist. The entire dress shimmered, giving you the illusion of having been showered in sparkles. You had reached the main floor and Steve saw your face light up when you caught sight of him.
“Hey!” you trilled as you completely overlooked Steve and flung yourself into Bucky’s arms. “Hey, Y/N. You look stunning,” Bucky stammered when he regained the ability to speak. “What the hell is going on here?” Steve asked incredulously. You whirled around and recognition flashed in your eyes as you backed father into Bucky’s chest and he wrapped his arms around you protectively. “Steve,” you gasped, the name falling from your lips like a forgotten prayer. “You- you can’t be here.”
“Really? Because the king personally reached out and asked for my help. Now does one of you care to explain?”
“You left,” you said defensively. “What are the two of you doing?”
“I thought you were gonna tell him,” you said to Bucky. “I needed more time. It’s not exactly something that you rush into when you see somebody for the first time in three years.”
“Tell me what?”
“Steve, let’s not. I mean, c’mon, we’re on good terms and besi-“ Bucky said, trying to soothe the situation, before Steve cut him off. “Screwing my girlfriend doesn’t exactly scream buddies!”
“That’s not fair,” you mumbled into Bucky’s chest, where you had turned and hidden your head. “What?” Steve asked, growing angrier by the minute. “That’s not fair, and you know it. You left me. I was devastated. Bucky was there for me, so excuse me for moving on!” you shouted as you whirled back around.” “I didn’t…”
“Didn’t what? Leave me? So then what do you call running off to Europe for three years without a word?”
“You don’t understand. I had to,” Steve said quietly with his head hung low like a puppy with his tail tucked between his legs. “Oh, so you were held at gunpoint? Were you forced to leave without saying goodbye?”
“Well, no, but-“
“Because the way I heard it,” you continued overtop of Steve’s protests. “Sharon wanted nothing to do with you after that crappy kiss, so she hopped around Europe for three years, trying to escape you, while you attempted to interrogate her about her dead aunt.”
“She kissed me.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses Steve!”
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Steve asked Bucky who now was standing a couple of steps behind you. “I think she’s got it covered.”
“You have no right to have any opinion about Bucky and I’s relationship. You shouldn’t even be here.”
“Y/N…”
“You can’t claim me as your property, Steve, not when you threw me away like a piece of trash.”
“Please.”
“I hope she was worth it,” you spat, before walking away and taking Bucky with you.
plot: bucky is the stableboy and you are the princess and the both of you are in love. bucky needs to leave the kingdom before he is hanged for a crime, but you don’t let him leave without you.
A/N:i haven’t posted on here in a long while. i hadn’t even logged onto tumblr until a month or so ago. it was a compilation of life happening and also i don’t know if i still feel passionate about harry as i used to. i’ve always been writing stories that i wish i could live through, and the past year, i have gone through some of the motions of what i always wanted. it’s strange to come back a whole different person. but i’ve never stopped loving writing, and everyone still following this little blog, and i hope this is the beginning of something more. anyways, this isn’t even about harry. i watched the falcon and the winter soldier and fell in love with sebastian stan. what can i say. i thought it would be better to post it randomly than have it sit in my google docs. hope u enjoy xx
tw: mentions of attempted assault
The nights in the castle are always quiet, and this never used to bother Bucky—hell, he was even thankful for the quiet after everything he’s been through—but tonight, the silence was eating him alive.
“Doll,” he tries, but the sound gets lost halfway across the room. It’s dark, but he can still see you shaking as you crouch down over Rafe’s body, his blood pooling all the way to the soles of his boots. “Doll—”
“He’s dead.”
It’s the first thing you say that night that isn’t a scream. And he almost wishes it was, because the voice that comes out of your mouth as you whirl around to face him doesn’t sound like you at all. He watches you look down at your hands, covered in a fresh coat of blood, and panic courses through his veins.
And suddenly, he’s on his knees in front of you. “It’ll be okay. Look at me. It’ll be okay.”
You don’t believe him. You’re practically hiccuping with fear as you glance back at the body, and then at him, and back again. Bucky lifts a hand to touch you, but stops when he realizes that his hands are coated in blood too.
But that wasn’t even the worst of it. The knuckles on his right hand were torn open, and he doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel the hurt at all. He makes sure to hide the frown on his face when you look back at him.
“W-What are we going to do?” you ask. You’re dizzy, and you’re certain that if it wasn’t for the dead body on your bedroom floor that you would’ve passed out by now. You clear your throat and try again. “Bucky, what are we—”
He interrupts you. “We’re not going to do anything.” You furrow your eyebrows as you watch him rise and walk over to the bathroom. You hear the faucet run. You think about the blood flowing down the drain, and it makes you sick.
“Bucky?” You go after him and stand at the threshold between the two rooms. He’s scrubbing his hands furiously. “Bucky, what do you mean we’re not going to do anything? He’s fucking dead. We have to—”
And that word is like an arrow in the middle of his back because he shuts off the sink and spins around to face you in an instant. His chest is heaving as he waves a wet finger at you and says, “There is no we in this, Y/N. I killed him. I cracked his skull open. It is my fingerprints around his neck, okay? You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be perfect.”
“What?” He barrels past you. And that is when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. You can’t help but let out a gasp.
Your hair is falling loosely around your face, braids be damned. Bruises line all the way around your neck from where he, Rafe, had tried to make you his. Fingernail marks on your collar bones. You don’t want to lift your dress to find out what more of himself he left on you.
Or what more he could’ve taken if Bucky hadn’t heard your cries and came crashing into your bedroom at the right moment.
You hear the sound of your closet door shutting.
“Bucky, what are you doing?”
He has his bag on your bed and around it, everything of his that you have come to cherish in the past few months. “Darling?”
Bucky pauses at that name. He can’t even lift his head to look at you as he says these next words. “Y/N, I will hang for this. They won’t understand. I will be dead by morning.”
“Don’t say that,” you whisper.
“But it’s true!” He tears his hands through his hair and you are by his side in a second. You hold him as he falls to the ground in tears, hands over his face to hide his fear from you. “Doll, I killed a man. I killed him! I could’ve stopped when I got him off you but… but I didn’t. When I heard your scream and came in a-and saw h-him, I-I—”
You squeeze him tighter as he sobs. You don’t care that you’re both covered in blood. You need him to know you love him.
“Bucky, you saved me,” you cry. “You saved me. If you hadn’t come in, I… “ Tears spill down your cheeks, but you brush them away and take a deep breath in. “Rafe would’ve been dead soon, anyway. Once my family finds out what he tried to do… it’s only a matter of time before his head is on the chopping block. You did nothing wrong. You saved me, you hear that?”
Bucky turns to face you and you half-expect him to kiss you and tell you that you’re right, and he’s going to be okay, and that this night will just disappear into a bad dream. But his expression hardens and he’s looking down at his hands.
“Even if that were true—”
“It is.”
He sighs. “Nobody would believe me.”
“Buck, what do you mean? They’ll believe me when I tell them what Rafe tried to do.”
“Y/N.” You wince slightly at the sound of your name coming out of his mouth. He rarely called you Y/N. Always Doll. “How do I explain why I was in your corridor at such a late hour, huh? Hell, your maids aren’t even allowed up here in the middle of the night. How would I explain to them that I was near you because I can’t possibly be away from you. That I’ve laid in your bed more times than I can count? They’ll hang me for that regardless. I’m as good as dead.”
“So what now?” You feel your frustration growing. “You’re just going to hand them your head, then? Tie the noose around your own damned neck, huh? Is that what we’re doing now?”
Bucky clenches his fists. “There’s no we, doll. You’re safe from all of this. You’re the fucking princess—”
“Don’t call me that,” you snap. He whips his head up at the change in tone. “I told you to never call me that.”
He laughs and it’s daggers to your heart. “Well, Y/N, you can’t escape who you are. You are the princess and I’m just a stableboy and I should’ve never come close to you. It was my mistake.”
“It was a mistake,” you repeat, the words poison on your lips. “I was a mistake. You regret falling in love with me—”
“Don’t.”
“No, that’s what you said, wasn’t it?” You feel as if you are about to throw up. “You made a mistake, and you wished this all never happened, right?”
“Doll—”
“Don’t touch me.” You shrink away from his grasp and he looks up at you wounded. You think you can taste blood on your tongue. The room is spinning. “You don’t get to touch me after wishing you never did.”
Bucky presses his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean that. I love you. You know I love you so goddamn much I can’t live without you. Waking up next to you every morning is the only reason why I’m not yet dead. But…”
You have your arms crossed over your chest. “But what?”
“But this was never going to end happily, was it?” His blue eyes are black in the darkness of the room. “This was always going to end with you married off to the prince of god only knows what kingdom, and me left behind. Or you married off, and me hanging in the square.”
“That’s not true,” you choke back a sob. “You and I were going to get married. Are. You and I are going to get married.”
Bucky pleads softly, “Don’t lie to me now, doll, I can’t take it.”
“I’m not lying to you.” You lay a hand on his cheek. “I would never lie to you. Please believe me.”
He holds your gaze for a long moment, and you think you have him convinced. But then at the last second he pulls away and he’s on his feet and throwing his things in the bag again. “If I want to live to see you again, I have to leave now. If I take Shadow, I can get to the next town sometime around dawn.”
You look up at him. Your voice is so soft you can barely hear it. “And then?”
But he does. “And then I’ll bribe my way onto a ship. I can disappear once I’m off this land. Even your father wouldn’t waste money on sending troops across the ocean.”
“And what about me?”
Bucky’s hands come to a still. He doesn’t look down at you. “I’ll write. Under a different name, of course, but I’ll write once I settle down somewhere, I promise.”
You shake your head. “Not good enough.”
“And I’ll come back one day,” he presses, shoving his t-shirt, the one you’ve been wearing for the past few weeks, into the bag. It will smell of you, he knows. “When the dust has settled. When everybody forgets my face, I’ll relocate to a town nearby and….” he turns his head to you, “and I’ll pray every single day to see you again.”
He sinks down to the floor and presses his forehead against yours. “I love you so fucking much. You will always have my heart.”
“Please don’t leave me,” you beg, gripping onto his shirt. You feel a tear drip down to your chin, but you’re not sure if it’s from him or you. “Please don’t leave me.”
“Doll,” he cries. “You know it’s killing me right now to think of a world without you. But this is the only way I can ever see you again. I can’t stay.”
“There has to be another way.” You’re holding onto him desperately. It’s taking everything in Bucky not to fall into you because he knows if he does, there will be no chance of him ever letting go. “We belong to each other. This can’t be how it ends.”
His lips are trembling as he pulls away from you. “I will see you again one day. I promise.”
And then it just falls out of your mouth. “Let me come with you.”
Bucky’s heart nearly stops. “What?”
“Let me come with you,” you say, more determinedly. “We can start again somewhere. Build a new life.”
“Doll, I don’t know about that.”
“Why?” The room around you is no longer spinning because your head is clear. You were going to leave with Bucky. “We’ll just do everything that you just said. Together.” You push yourself off the ground. “Give me a few minutes to gather some things and we’ll leave, okay?”
“No, Y/N,” Bucky follows you to the wardrobe. “Sweetheart, no. You can’t come with me. You can’t leave.”
You are barely processing what he’s saying because your mind has been made up. “Bucky, go get my necklace by the sink for me. It’s my mother’s, I can’t leave it behind.”
“No.”
“Fine, I’ll go get it later.”
“Y/N, can you stop for a second? Can you look at me?”
You turn to face him. He inhales shakily. “I can’t let you do this for me. I can’t let you leave your home and everything you have ever known for me, you hear? It’s not worth it.”
“Bucky, you are worth it,” you press. “I’d rather sleep on the streets with you than in this castle alone.”
“But I don’t want you to sleep on the streets!” He nearly throws his hands up in frustration. “I don’t want you to know what it’s like to… to live anywhere outside of here!”
You narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t think I can make it outside? Because I can. I don’t need anything or anyone except you.”
He raises his eyebrows. “What about your mother? Your father? Your brothers? What about them?”
You hesitate for a second. “I can come back to see them in a few years, like you said. I can send letters—”
“You can’t send letters. What don’t you understand? They’re not just going to let you run away! They might not send soldiers on a ship for me but for you? The kingdom’s sole heiress? The princess—?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“The king will sail to every single land himself to find you.”
Silence.
And then: “Do you love me?”
Bucky blinks. He doesn’t even know how to respond to that.
“Do you love me?” You repeat flatly.
“I-I… of course I love you.”
“Then I’m coming with you. End of discussion.”
“Doll—”
“End of discussion. Now go get my necklace, will you? The sun’s going to come up soon. We’ll need to leave immediately.”
Bucky’s frozen in place. He watches as you slip out of your nightgown and tug on a pair of trousers. You don’t even hesitate to push past your ballroom gowns and reach into the back of your closet instead to dig out more plain tees.
He doesn’t even let his heart lurch at the possibility of spending forever with you, because of one little poisonous thought in his brain: “I don’t want you to fall out of love with me.”
You pause, mid-step into your boots. “Buck, there’s never going to happen.”
“If I take you away from here, one day it will. One day, you’ll wake up and realize that I can’t give you anything more than my love. I can’t give you a castle with servants and a feast for every dinner and diamonds for your wrists and one day, maybe not today, but one day you’ll hate me for it. I can’t live without you, but I would rather be away from you than watch you fall out of love with me.”
You smile sadly, “If you leave me tonight, I will never forgive you. But if you let me come with you, I promise I will never stop loving you. I just need to be with you for the rest of my life. Please let me.”
And Bucky can’t stop himself anymore.
He closes the space between the two of you and presses his lips onto yours. You taste of salt and tears and copper and blood and love and love and love. “I love you,” he says between kisses. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“Don’t feel like you have to pay me,” I said. “I like cleaning and doing your laundry.”
Yori cocked a brow. “No one likes doing that,”
“Well I guess I’m someone then,” I winked back. Yori simply folded his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. “Fine, where are we going?”
“Don’t worry, I know a place,” he smiled as he got his coat.
We walked slowly through the busy streets of Brooklyn, Yori holding onto my arm. He casually pointed at shops and told me what used to be there, who lived there and where they went. I longed to sit him down and pick his brains, but his memory was starting to fade so I simply took what I could get.
“Bucky!” My eyes snapped up as Yori exclaimed to a man walking towards us.
An easy smile graced the mans face. “Yori,” his voice was deep and velvety.
“We’re going to lunch, join.” The old man insisted.
Bucky’s eyes nervously flicked over to me. “I don’t wanna intrude,”
Yori waved him off and stepped away from me, walking considerably faster down the sidewalk than he had before. “Come! I’m nearly there!”
We both laughed and looked at each other. “I’m Y/N,” I introduced.
“Bucky,” he smiled back.
Despite the Brooklyn summer heat, he wore a thick leather jacket and gloves. His jeans were black and top navy blue. I was in a white, summery dress and I almost noted aloud how opposite we looked.
Instead, we both hurried after Yuri who was almost out of sight. The restaurant claimed to serve British Cuisine, and I chuckled a little.
“Slice of home,” Yori said to me.
“How very considerate of you,” I smiled.
“I went to the UK once,” Bucky piped up. “My pal married a girl from there.”
“Really?” I said. “What took you to my side of the pond?”
“The war-“ he stopped mid-sentence.
I furrowed my brows, he looked far too young to have taken rank in any war that would take him to the UK. “Afghanistan?” I asked.
Bucky quickly nodded. “Yeah,”
The conversation died as we found a table and sat. Yori looked at both of us with a sly smirk, trying to hide it behind his menu. Bucky and I both glanced at each other.
Suddenly, Yori slammed down his menu. “Whoops, I forgot, I’m meeting with another friend,” he began to get up.
“Wait, what?” Bucky frowned.
“Have fun on your date!” Yori waved as he hurried out the restaurant.
There was a beat of silence as Bucky and I both frowned. “I feel we’ve been set up,” I finally said.
“I feel that too.” Bucky laughed.
“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m getting fish and chips,”
The conversation flowed easily. Bucky said he was born in Brooklyn and noted how much the area had changed since his youth. I felt as though that was an inside joke I didn’t understand when he said it, a smirk playing on his lips as he spoke. He asked what brought me here and the boring answer was work.
“What do you do?” Bucky asked as he pushed some Shepard’s Pie on his plate.
“I’m a Historian,” I smiled. “It isn’t as boring as it sounds.”
Bucky laughed. “I love history actually,”
“Any particular parts?” I leant back in my seat.
Bucky shrugged. “World Wars and onwards,” another inside joke I wasn’t part of.
“I did my thesis on American Impact during the Second World War,” I said.
Bucky leant forward. “And?”
“Steve Rogers alone was enough to help morale in the Europe,” I giggled.
Bucky’s brows furrowed. “Really? The guys in Europe hated him. I remember when he-“ Bucky stopped talking.
“You’ve done that a lot,” I said after a moments silence.
“Done what?” He asked.
“Talked like you were there,” I explained. “Like there are all these inside jokes I don’t know.”
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” His eyes glistened.
“About Brooklyn changing, you in the UK, the World Wars,” I listed off. “Would it be too ridiculous to say you’re 100 years old?” I joked.
“106.”
“What?”
“I’m a 106.” I laughed until I saw the look of his face.
“No you aren’t,” my brain began to connect the dots. “Bucky…Buchanan…you’re James Barnes?”
His eyes cast down as he nodded. “I’ll go,”
Bucky quickly stood. “Wait! Why?” He didn’t reply as he sprinted out of the restaurant.
Without thinking I bolted after him. He was quick, half way down the street. I ran behind him, taking a long moment to catch up. Finally I caught his arm and jerked him back.
“Why are you leaving?” I panted.
“Look, you don’t have to be nice, I know that when people find out who I am they don’t usually wanna talk to me,” he grumbled.
“Are you kidding me?” I gaped. “You’re my dream!”
His brows furrowed. “What?”
“You’re a comprehensive, fully functioning 106 year old!” I smiled. “Your memories alone could make a book,”
“You don’t wanna know what goes on in my head,” he darkly warned.
My lips pouted. “Of course I do,”
His eyes cast down to me. “Hey! Hey you two!” We both turned to see a frantic waiter coming towards us. “I’ll call the police if you don’t pay!”
Bucky presented his wallet and took out a wad of cash. “Sorry,” he stiffly smiled.
The waiter huffed and grabbed the cash, walking away. “Please just…” I sighed. “We don’t have to talk about memories, I enjoyed our lunch, I find you interesting,”
“Really?” He seemed taken aback.
“Really.”
His lips pursed as he momentarily closed his eyes. They opened softer than before. “I know this bakery, wanna…grab a coffee?”
