spy x family role swap but it’s modern au where fiona and yuri make bad decisions. they were drunk and desperate and thought it was a good idea to get married because they thought it might make yor & twilight jealous but..……it doesn’t go that way at all. yor is really happy for her brother, and twilight is like ???? he didn’t even know fiona liked someone/interested in getting married but good for her! he’s happy for her! fiona and yuri are crushed, but they can’t just….divorce out of nowhere. they gotta stay married for some time before divorcing, they don’t count on catching feels. <3 bonus: fiona and yuri didn’t even KNOW each other before hand. there’s also background twiyor, in where the in laws family/coworker get together <3
A/N: For this fic I spoiled myself a little by looking through the manga chapters and see when Yuri will be back. *cries* it’ll take a while, but he’ll be there. Mild spoiler warning ahead for events after chapter 25.
Summary: Uncle Yuri comes over again and of course not without causing a ruckus! (Also on Ao3)
Word Count: 2080
“Enjoy! I made these.”
“Thank you. They look delicious!”
No they didn’t. But Yor did her best, Loid knew that. He stared at his pretend-family and their visitor of the day, Yuri Briar, enjoying Yor’s homemade snacks. Loid didn’t like Yuri showing up unannounced today.
“Anya doesn’t need to study,” Loid had said, but Yuri invited himself over anyway. So much for their day off. With Yuri here, Loid was always even more careful with everything he did and said.
He had the face of a liar according to Yuri, which was crazy because Loid was very aware of how much of a liar Yuri himself was.
“Ah, oh no!” Yor chirped when she accidentally spilled some tomato sauce on her clothes.
“It’s okay, I’ll get it,” Loid offered, getting up to grab something to clean her with. Yuri was occupied with Anya who showed him a crossword puzzle she had cleverly solved the other day, and he would’ve had to kick her away with force if he wanted to interfere, and Loid knew that even Yuri wouldn’t do that. Even though the looks he was giving could kill.
“Thank you, Loid-san!” Yor said as Loid helped her clean the stain. He eyed Yuri carefully while he did.
“You see how caring he is, hm? You trust him more already, Yuri?” Yor said, probably noticing the way the two were looking at each other already.
“No, I don’t actually,” Yuri said. Gah. “He still seems suspicious to me. A liar,” said the other liar.
“Ah… That’s too bad,” Yor said, pouting. Anya was looking at them but kept quiet, although Loid could see her visibly think. Sometimes he would almost commit a murder just to learn what was on that child’s mind.
“But I know a way to fix that. Do you know the game: Two Truths and a Lie?” Yuri said. Yor shook her head.
“I have heard about it. It is a popular game, I learned about it during my time abroad,” Loid said. They continued to stare at each other.
“We’re going to play,” Yuri said. He pointed at Loid. “Except we make it Three Truths. You seem like a liar, so let’s only talk the truth here. Got it?” That would go both ways.
Loid nodded plainly. “I don’t see why not.” This was in no way a ‘game’, more like an interrogation, but still, he would like to play, if that was what they needed for Yuri to act normally towards him.
“Anya, you know your father. You can be our little lie detector,” Yuri said. Anya nodded, looking fascinated.
“Yes!” she squeaked. Sigh. Loid rubbed his head.
“Alright then. So, you want me to tell three truths, that’s it? Can be anything?” he asked.
Yuri smirked. “Anything. As long as it’s the truth.”
Now that shouldn’t be too hard for Twilight. Nor for Loid Forger. He thought for a moment.
“I like the color green.”
“GAh! That could be an easy lie! Anya?!” Yuri turned towards Anya who was distracted just a little as she played with Bond. She looked at Loid, her gaze almost piercing right through him as if she was a real lie detector.
“Truth! Papa likes green,” she said, smiling. Loid sighed.
“That was too easy and boring. Say something else, this one doesn’t count,” Yuri said.
“I thought I could say anything.”
“Just… continue. This was a test round.”
Yor, Anya and Bond all watched them intently.
“Fine. I was named after my grandfather, whose name was Loid.” Risky, starting the game off with a lie, but it had to be this way. If Anya was going to call him out for a lie, he could just say he hadn’t told her much about his family due to ill relations.
“Truth,” Anya said blankly. Eh.
“Hmhm, I see,” Yuri said, nodding. Yor smiled.
“Your grandfather? You don’t talk much about him,” she said sweetly. Loid chuckled. He never talked about his grandfather called Loid since he doesn’t exist. He smiled back at her.
“I have my reasons for that. Will tell you more later,” he offered, except he wouldn’t.
“Next!” Yuri cried, interruping them.
“Hmmm the second truth..” Loid wondered for a moment. Something to win Yuri’s trust with. He looked at him, determined.
“This is a little embarrassing but..” He took a breath. “I fell in love with your sister at first sight.”
Smooth! The look on Yuri’s face was hilarious. “!!!! O-of course you did!” he shrieked. Loid looked to his side, eyeing Anya smugly. She blinked at him.
Considering the fact they got married so soon after their first meeting there had to be some truth in it. Even for her.
“It’s true! Daddy and mommy both fell for each other at first sight!” she chirped, making Yor blush like crazy. Loid smiled.
“Like I said, it’s a little embarrassing, but it’s the truth.”
Yuri’s face was nearly exploding. “ONE MORE TRUTH!” he huffed, seemingly disliking the way this game he invented was turning out.
“Hmm… Alright. I am….” Loid paused. Quick, think of something really believable. Something personal. Something vulnerable. Something completely human that would take away any suspicions Yuri might have and….
“…a ticklish person.”
Loid continued to smile but cursed that this was what he had settled with. What! Was that really his best shot?
“What?!” Yuri said.
“…It’s a little embarrassing as well, I don’t think I can say it again,” Loid said charmingly, but Anya the lie detector butted in:
“Papa is ticklish. It’s the truth,” she said with a smirk. It did seem to be effective since Yuri stared at him in surprise.
“Wow, really? Is that right?” Yuri turned to Yor, making Loid sweat a little. Yor too looked surprised, but she quickly turned that into an awkward smile.
“U-uh yeah! I’m surprised Loid-san would admit this. He is quite shy of it,” she said. Well-played, Yor. Well-played! Loid smiled.
“Right, yes! So, now that’s settled with. Why don’t we switch our roles. Yuri, you tell me three truths, and Yor is your lie detector…”
Loid had been confident about this idea, but Yuri was still smirking at him, making him think he had other things on his mind. Anya was looking at Yuri with a surprised look on his face, and even though Yuri didn’t say anything, she all of a sudden seemed excited.
“Tickle papa, hm!” she chirped. Loid gasped and looked at her, then at Yuri.
“You got that correct. I’m not sure if I accept this truth if we can’t prove it here,” Yuri said. As if Loid had to prove his other truths! He awkwardly got up.
“N-now that won’t be necessary. I confessed a real personal trait there. Yor-san, tell him it’s his turn now,” Loid said, flustered and uneasy by the way Yuri was smirking at him.
“Y-Yor-san tell him!” Loid yelped when Yuri started to approach him. He tried to stumble away, but Yuri grabbed him and pinned him back down on the couch right next to Yor.
“Just a fact-check, it’ll be easy!” Yuri said, reaching for Loid’s sides and digging in with his thumbs. Loid jerked heavily and barked out a laugh.
“Tickle papa!” Anya was super excited about the way things were going, and Loid was surprised when he felt Yor hold down his legs.
“Anya-san would like to play too, we can all have some fun!” she said with a dark smile, and she started to scribble against his knee. Loid gasped and threw his head back.
“Ahahaalright it tihihickles! Thehehere’s your p-proohoooof!” he howled. So embarrassing!
“Hmm. I must say I’m not entirely convinced yet,” Yuri said, clawing firmly up Loid’s sides and ribs where he dug his fingers in and wiggled maniacally. These Briar siblings, really!
“HWAhahah! N-nohoho this ihihihisn’t fahahair!” Loid flailed his arms but was careful not to hit Anya in the face, Anya, who was busy attacking his middle with playful pokes and scribbles.
“Spider attack!” she yelled, a recently invented tickle attack of hers. Loid twitched and laughed loudly. His reactions were a combination of genuine giggles as well as exaggerated laughter. If he was getting tickled anyway, might as well show Yuri how ticklish he was.
“G-Guhuhhuys you ahhahare kihihilling mehehe!” Loid laughed.
“No, papa! Don’t die!” Anya cried dramatically, jumping on top of him aaaand, giving him some more of those spider tickles.
“Yes, Anya-san! Get him!” Yor encouraged.
“Gooo!” Yuri encouraged as well, and he got up and moved to where Anya had been standing before, by Loid’s side, and he began to poke his ribs and armpits from here, making Loid twitch and wiggle awkwardly on the couch. Meanwhile Yor was still tickling his legs, squeezing his knees and thighs, and Loid gasped when he felt her pick up his foot so she could tickle him there as well.
“We’re a great team!” she said, but Loid was feeling so ticklish by now that it was getting hard to keep up any sort of act.
“GAahah-Tahaha! Time ahahah time out! Guys hahaha! Cahahahn’t breheheathe!” Luckily Yor detected his hardships even without seeing his face, and she quickly got up.
“Right, that’s enough! Anya-san come!” She picked up Anya and lifted her off him, but Yuri pounced on top of him and continued tickling with this maniac look on his face.
“NAhahah plehehease stahhahahap! Wahaha!” Loid cackled hysterically, ashamed by how much control he was losing here.
“Yuri, stop it! Come on, stop!” Yor also tried to stop Yuri by pulling his arm and trying to make him stop, but Yuri was also losing control, in a different way than Loid was, looking like a sadistic tickle monster who couldn’t be reasoned with.
“Muahhaha take that youー!”
WHAM. One moment Loid looked up at Yuri tickling the living daylights out of him. The next moment Yuri fell to the side, and a little drip of blood landed in Loid’s face.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, that was a bit too rough!” Yor cried, grabbing Yuri’s arm and taking him off Loid, freeing him from the adult man’s weight. Whew. Loid gasped for air.
He finally sat up a little and saw that Yor was guiding Yuri back to his seat, and she quickly grabbed the cloth that had been used to clean the tomato sauce off her clothes with, and used it to tend to Yuri’s wound. Lol. Yor and her strength. Looked like she had hit him harder than she had meant to, again.
“It’s okay, I’m glad you stopped me. I kind of lost control,” Yuri admitted, but of course Loid wasn’t going to get any apology. He moved in a sitting position and looked at Anya who was staring at him with big eyes.
“Papa is fine. Don’t worry,” he reassured. Whatever was on that child’s mind, she continued to stare at him.
“Getting back to business, rather than telling me three truths. I only need you to tell me one,” Loid said, moving his hand through his hair and fixing his lost composure a little. Yuri glared at him.
“Yeah? What?” he asked.
Loid smirked. “Are youticklish?”
Yuri gulped visibly. Yor stopped rubbing the cloth against his head, and a dark look suddenly appeared on her face. Anya had turned into a little demon as well, and Yuri hadn’t even answered the question yet.
“…..No?” he asked. Wrong move. Yor suddenly squeezed both his sides and called out: “That’s a lie! Tickle attack, round two!”
Luckily Yuri was a man of the Secret Police and could probably deal with both headache and a tickle attack, and if not, he would have to deal with it anyway since they were now all attacking him, and his surprisingly pitchy laughs and cackles filled the room, a sound so unfamiliar that Bond started barking.
It was a true chaos.
“HAHAHAH! NOHOHO THIS IHIHISN”T FAHAHAIR!” Yuri cried out as they all tickled him together.
Loid smirked. “I know. And that’s why we’re doing it.” For a moment he had almost let out the spy- side of himself, but when he looked at Yor and Anya and how much they enjoyed the tickle game, he smiled and went back into father mode.
Just a playful father, getting his wife’s brother back for that brutal tickle attack. But…. Something told him that after these tickly exchanges, Yuri Briar and himself might have grown a little closer.
