MATT! Matt Matt Matt Matt Matt. Dude, you are killing me here. I love the details. Jack with a *proper* amount of chest hair. Visible leg hair. They’re both so gorgeous and masculine and still differently-shaped. The colors. Jack wearing shorts as short as Bitty’s!!! That little smile peeking out from the beard. The background stuff. I am so upset I didn’t see this sooner.
I wish Tumblr had a “top posts from people you follow” option. Not most popular site-wide but if I haven’t logged in for 3 weeks because life, I would just really love a way to find out what the people I follow have been liking, re-posting, and talking about most. Just to catch up. Because I almost MISSED THIS.
Happy Pride Month, all y’all!! Marching with my church at our local pride parade soon!! @omgpieplease I love it when I get reminded of your art. So good.
I headcanon that Bitty LOVES finding photos of hot historic gays and sending them to Jack. He has a tumblr somewhere where he individually saves all those historic gay couple compilation posts and sends them to Jack one by one with, “teach me about the Castro Street Fair”? “Are these real Marine uniforms or just costumes?” “I think I need a history lesson in men’s formalwear for this time period…” And Jack just. Can Not Handle It.
Most of them are low-key sexy in this subtle way that Jack adores. And it’s BITTY sending them to him. And asking vaguely history-based questions. And Jack’s been so focused on all these other historical events and he was so deep in the closet during Samwell that he just… didn’t let himself learn about this stuff as much as he wanted.
So he does now. Oh, does he ever. Bitty sends him a romantic pic while he’s away on a long roadie and Jack has all this free time so he starts looking up the time period and where it was taken and if it was just some private individuals that had a friend with a camera or if there was an actual gay community nearby and seeing if he can find similar ones from that place/time and by the time he gets back home he has a 5 page essay complete with photographs for Bitty to read.
And at first Bitty is like, “you’re giving me a reading assignment?” But then he sees the intense, passionate excitement on Jack’s face and what it means to him to combine his sexuality and his love of history, and the sense of hope he gets from how queer guys throughout history have found each other, found friends and families and lovers, and he reads it and turns out Jack’s really good at making this stuff interesting (as if the pictures weren’t enough already) and instead of Jack quizzing him afterwards like he thought it’s Bitty asking more questions and inspiring him to do more research.
After 5 years of this, Bitty collects all the essays and analyses Jack’s done for him, puts them together in a roughly chronological order, and tells Georgia that Jack needs a literary agent. Jack says no, it’d be too much of a distraction from hockey right now, but he loves the idea and he keeps writing stuff about the photos Bitty sends him.
By the time Jack retires, what he’s written is now a 3-volume collection. He and Bitty go on a joint book tour. Their agents don’t see any way that cookbooks and historic gay couples can possibly go together but it turns out there’s a lot of overlap and they both learn a lot about what’s going on in the world of cookbook and history text publishing. But mostly, they love going on a big, long roadie together. They get back and Jack gets an offer from Samwell to be guest professor teaching The Historic Gay: MLM in Europe and America from 1700-1950. Jack says he’ll do it if they do a similar course on WLW. The incredible lesbian historian they find to do it immediately sets to work writing a woman-based 3-volume companion to Jack’s book and Jack makes sure it gets published and marketed properly. They eventually find a trans historian to join them and soon the History Department is a close second only to the Gender, Women, and Sexualities Department in terms Gayest Department at Samwell. The History Channel comes calling for the gay perspective on their specials on everything from socializing in the military to early settlers moving west in communities that were predominantly men.
Bitty is both surprised and amused by every new development in this. He’d just been really thirsty and wanted to rile up his history-loving boyfriend. He never thought it’d turn into Jack’s new career as the Gay History Guy.
Still, it did accomplish its original purpose and ordering custom-tailored recreations of the outfits from Jack’s favorite photos brings the concept of role-playing to a whole new level….
I’m still really caught up in a lot of emotions about his internalized homophobia, and Bitty trying so hard to reach out to him and reassure him hurts my heart.
Also, his lack of excitement about his parents makes me very anxious for him, and feeds my thoughts about the internalized homophobia, and also his general fear of sexuality.
Jack Zimmermann’s body should be outlawed. Lordy.
That feeling is so incredibly awful and isolating and scary, and I know a lot of us don’t have to imagine it, or imagine the special kind of pain that comes from watching someone you care about seem to struggle with it.
Bits is clearly super upset about how Whiskey’s feeling/how he thinks he’s feeling, and his anxiety and worry over it is hard to see, and also perfectly illustrates why we love him as much as the SMH does.
Jack and B Haus sleepovers are common.
Also though, imagining Jack’s feet poking out of the covers and hanging off the end of the bed is hilarious. These two are both athletes and muscled accordingly, the only way they could possibly share a twin is for them to be pretty much on top of each other. “Cozy” indeed, Jaques.
Every time Jack calls his boyfriend by his last name, a hockey puck gets its wings.
Jack trying to get Bitty to talk about The Real Stuff, and Bitty’s panicked “nope, nothing to see here” face are everything.
Bitty: Coach won’t think about me being gay if he doesn’t see my boyfriend.
Jack: That’s not how this works, babe.
A) Poor anxious Bits.
B) Smooches on the top of the head are very important to me.
FORD!
She’s so cute!
BITTY’S SMILE!
HOPS!
HOPS’ MOM IS A HUGE FAN OF BITTY! SHE BAKES!
IF THEY BAKE TOGETHER I’LL CRY BECAUSE THERE’S BEEN NO MENTION OF SUZANNE AND WHAT IF BITS HASN’T SEEN HER OR BAKED WITH HER SINCE THE KISS!
Bitty is a fan of Hops and his mom, because he is a good man.
He looks so scared when he hears the “Y'all”, my poor baby.
(Also though, “I am the y'all-er in this Haus, who do you think you are?”)
Coach? Is so good looking?
Also, he is so happy to see Bitty, and my heart is full, and it’s making me really emotional.
I’ve always sorta thought that Coach would be the parent that was more accepting of Bitty, and Suzanne would be more distant and cool towards him, and this is not dissuading me. I’m so, so happy to see how happy and comfortable he is waiting for/seeing Bits is amazing, and I hope it puts Bitty at ease and gives him comfort.
And, finally and very very importantly, the “Hi, Daddy” nearly killed me, because Bitty so rarely (maybe once or twice in canon?) refers to his dad as anything other than" Coach, and here it’s almost as if it snuck out because he was caught off guard by his dad’s appearance– both his early arrival and his big, proud papa smile.
Next update is gonna be A Lot.
Whiskey just didn’t get any undercut- he got THE CHOP. Samwell’s proud tradition of incoming sophomores getting the gayest haircut possible. WHISKEY did that. For comparison:
Also, everyone has seen Bitty’s vlog now. Assumed, of course, particularly with that early year 4 announcement about going private, but still. Did the guys get to see the earlier videos before Bitty made it all private? Particularly the Jack ones? And now that he’s back, will those go up or stay private? Now I’m picturing all the new eggs/frogs getting ready to go off to Samwell and their moms are like, “Can you ask Bitty about his shortbread recipe?!?” Or parents being all CONCERNED about the class and quality of the Haus and the SMH team because that kiss and scandal and clutched pearls so they look up Bitty’s vlog and watch it all and it’s just so sweet and pure and suddenly they’re feeling very, very protective of one (1) small Southern boy and are ready to fight on his behalf.
AN EXCELLENT POINT ABOUT THE SAMWELL CHOP!
What if… What if The Chop is what finally brings Whiskey and Bitty together? Whisk sees a picture of pre-chop Bits, and gains a new appreciation for the magic of a good haircut, and also our favorite Southern baker.
Also! Yes! The Vlog is public knowledge and everyone wants Bitty’s secrets! And also to fight homophobia in sports!
Thank you! I saw Whiskey’s haircut and had a total moment of Old Spice, “Look at sophomore Bitty. Now sophomore Whiskey. Now back to Bitty.”
I’m glad you liked my additions! I didn’t realize until I saw Whiskey’s Samwell Chop that since Bitty has grown out his undercut by the beginning of year 3 that Whiskey may not be aware that he now has the same haircut that his gay, out, boyfriend of a NHL-Stanley-Cup-Winner, captain had his sophomore year as well.
Hello, half-naked boys. I love the angle and the perspective and the way peeking in through the window adds to the sneaky nature of it and hints at the way Jack snuck into Bitty’s room without anyone knowing. No idea why tumblr’s not showing it under @happyzimm‘s “my art” tag, though. :(
And Jack says yeah.Yeahwith conviction, a surety that presses in his chest and in his throat. The only other times he’s felt like this have been with Bitty - their first kiss, their tentative but assured touches in Georgia and Providence, the i love you that tumbled so easily out of Jack’s mouth, we’re a team. Bitty and I are dating.
He hasn’t felt more real - more alive.
The feeling in his chest expands like a balloon, but it’s not anxiety. It’s just a need, an urge to pull Bitty close and never let go. To show the world how much Bitty means to him.
Jack has never wanted to hide. They’ve talked about this, just enough to indulge their fantasies - for Jack, winning the Stanley Cup was always a strong, hard if, and he only considered it a possibility late into the night, his heart and mind racing, Bitty’s arm looped around his waist and Jack’s nose in Bitty’s lemon-scented hair.
Jack squeezed Bitty, one night, and whispered, What if I win it?
Bitty didn’t respond for a second, just grumbled awake and said nothing. Jack had thought Bitty hadn’t heard until he said, Lord. I think I’d want to jump into your arms and kiss you right there.
Jack could imagine the rush of winning as if it had already happened, the imaginary euphoria and elation and he knew, right in that second, as Bitty’s fingers drummed a pattern onto Jack’s back and his lips rested on Jack’s chest, their bodies so elegantly fitting together–
Youcould.
Bitty’s hand froze. I. Your career, Jack. And my parents still don’t even–
I know, I know. Jack sighed. But. You. You still could. If you wanted to. We still could.
That’s so brave, Jack. Yeah. Maybe. Bitty sighed, but this was just the two of them dreaming of a future that Jack wouldn’t be able to give them. As Jack imagined the pulsing joy of winning he had to remember that the Stanley Cup was a strong–hard–if.
Bitty took in a deep breath and let it out with a long whoosh. Jack could feel in the slackening of his arms and the little hum against his chest that Bitty was almost asleep again. He burrowed closer to Jack and stuck his nose into Jack’s chest, and the twist of happiness that Jack felt drowned out some of the alarm bells going off in his head.
When he awoke, remembering flashes of their conversation from before, he felt small. It was how Jack always felt when thinking about coming out: his brain buzzed, how the press would turn on him, how they would criticize him and misattribute his failures and tear down the reputation he worked so hard to rebuild. Even though Bitty challenged all of those fears with his smiles and his chatter and his hands, Jack felt tiny, and weak, when he thought about the world knowing. How would coming out make him any stronger?
Besides. The. Stanley. Cup. Was. A. Strong. Hard. If.
Jack had to stop thinking about it. His doubt whispered that it was a pipe dream. He’d never know the joy of victory, the rush of success in his veins that made him bigger, that could prevent him from tearing down his career.
—
But. Now. Here he is. Jack’s several inches taller than normal on his skates, and Bitty’s in his shoes on the ice, and Jack feels big and strong. Bitty’s wrapped up in Jack’s arms, smelling like lemon and honey, and Jack’s nose is cold, but Bitty’s body radiates heat, and the pressure of him against Jack’s gear surrounds Jack. The last of the confetti tumbles down around them, and he feels like they are alone on the ice, even though the screaming is loud.
Jack just won the Stanley Cup. He is huge.
When Bitty looks up at Jack, says, “kiss me,” and “why can’t we?” and “I know you want to,” then “kiss me” again, closing his eyes, Jack realizes that he’s not the brave one. It’s Bitty.
Bitty, who maneuvered around his parents to steal kisses and touches in dark rooms, hidden corners, late at night. Bitty, who stared at his father and his mother at the dinner table with Jack beside him and clenched his jaw in fear, barely looked at Jack for fear of accidentally giving away the nature of their ‘friendship.’ Bitty, who tried again and again to tell his mother but couldn’t. Bitty, who risked losing his family, yet still held Jack closer to him than anyone.
Jack squeezes Bitty’s arm, and Bitty opens his eyes, large and brown and smiling, full of love and joy, and Jack asks, “Are you sure?”
Bitty knows what Jack means. His eyes cloud, but he shakes his head and nods. Then nods again, staring at Jack’s chest and blinking away his tears, then looking back up with a firm set of his jaw. He nods again.
“Yes. Lord, yes. Kiss me.”
Jack’s grin feels like it’ll burst his face open. He brings one hand up to cradle Bitty’s jaw, and the boy breaks into a bright smile, happy and laughing as they take in the revelry around them. Jack can’t believe he has this, Bitty’s arms looping around his chest and pulling him up close to Jack’s face. Jack can’t believe he has this beautiful boy looking at him like he’s the world, sacrificing everything for Jack’s happiness. Jack leans down, slips his other hand to the back of Bitty’s head, looping his fingers in his hair.
The voices around them grow louder and louder until they’ve blended into white noise. The world spins around them, and Jack is lost in Bitty, so lost that he says, “You’re so brave, I love you,” and pushes their lips together.
It is everything. Fireworks go off in Jack’s head, Bitty’s lips are warm and responsive, his hands burn against his body, and the euphoria of the win somehow doubles. Then triples. Bitty is all around, in Jack’s arms, in his nose, in his head.
The balloon in Jack’s chest grows and grows but it’s a comfortable pressure, like his body is carrying so much happiness that he may burst. Bitty pulls back to gasp for air, and Jack expects him to pull away, but then they’re kissing again, bordering on less than chaste. Bitty’s hands clasp around Jack’s waist, fingers digging into his hips, his tongue sending shivers down Jack’s spine. He smiles against Jack’s mouth. Kisses him again, and again. Jack’s on the ice but he isn’t thinking about anything. The persistent buzz of anxiety in Jack’s head is quiet.
